Experiences with non-techies

[Jtalk4456]

2 minutes ago, Bananasplit_00 said:

all you guys going on about PONYING and anime background, in class if someone leaves their laptop we just bomb it full of hentai everywhere instead  

 

no mercy

yeah that's not gonna fly at work, otherwise i totally would

[Bananasplit_00]

Just now, Jtalk4456 said:

yeah that's not gonna fly at work, otherwise i totally would

just dont get caught 

[SenKa]

Gonna put this one in greentext story time format because it really drives home how dumb it is

>Be me, at college
>Friend shoves their laptop in front of me "The Keyboard isnt working"

>It infact isnt working. Key registry issues because of a failed cable
>Tell them to order a new keyboard
>Christmas break comes and goes
>"My keyboard isnt working"
>Wutface.mp7
>She shoves the laptop in front of me. It still has its old keyboard
>I try typing, same issue.
>"No, this one"
>I get handed the worst wireless keyboard ive ever seen
>Did I mention she couldnt log into the laptop because of the busted keyboard?
>"Did you pair it?"
>"What?"
>Smhmyhead.mov

>Spring Break comes and goes (I dont see her often, our schedules dont line up well)
>"I got a new laptop!"
>"What happened to the old one?"
>"Collecting dust."
>"Can I have it then?"
>"I dont think so, my dad is gonna turn it in for warrenty repair"

 

Literally bought a brand new laptop, the other one was 2 years old and was perfect other than the duff keyboard.

[Tamesh16]

On 1/6/2019 at 9:46 PM, Schnoz said:

Yesterday, I successfully put some Conductonaut in my overheating Dell. It's wonderful. But I had to be really careful because that stuff is shiny liquid death.

 

Skip this paragraph if you already know how to apply Conductonaut.

For those who don't know, Conductonaut has a high surface tension and its viscosity is like water. An "o"-sized drop was enough for both my CPU and GPU (both are bare dies), since it spreads very thinly. It's also electrically conductive, and will break your device if you put on even a little too much. Most people recommend electrical tape or conformal coating, but I used a clear bitter nail polish that I used to use to stop my nail-biting (spoiler: I stopped later and my nails are short). Works fine for me. I know because a tiny drop spilled on a covered capacitor on the GPU.

 

So a guy in my class is this classic rich white boi. Gives absolutely zero f[advertiser-friendly content]s about his grades, tons of money, no one likes him, etc. So he's looking jealously at my laptop and says, "I can do better than that." So he immediately orders a 5-gram tube (way too much) and livestreams it on Instagram at around 5:30. I know he's spoiled to the max, but man, I wish I had all that money lying around.

 

So a bunch of us are watching, knowing he'll probably mess it up like his grades, and spamming the comments, begging him not to do it or at least do some background research. He takes one look at the chat and goes like "y'all know nothin about this Pee Cee Science, watch this pro do it!" So he removes his 240 mm AIO, a cooler master ML240, one I recommended to him. He uses a plain paper towel to wipe off the old stuff "eeeeeew look at this sh!t" (I helped apply the paste because he'd be a royal d!ck to me if I didn't) and cusses me off. Several viewers leave, the rest defend me. That was Kryonaut, by the way. That's a 9700K by the way.

 

Then, he removes the GPU, a 1070 Ti. Using the same plain paper towel method, he scrapes it off as well. 

 

"Ya poor people watching this? Watch this gangsta build dis PEE CEE with style!"

 

Then, no sh!t, he literally uses HALF THE TUBE on the CPU and THE OTHER HALF on the GPU! Suddenly, it's a huge blob of each on the CPU and GPU, and we can't help but cringe and tell him to clean it up. He ignores the chat.

 

He then proceeds to re-mount the AIO and GPU cooler. He also forgot to plug in the GPU power connectors, but not that it matters. The CPU was DRIPPING shiny liquid death onto the GPU, more shiny death was rolling off one of the GPU fans. He surprisingly manages to hook everything up correctly, and is about to press the power button, and goes like, "Dis is the PEE CEE MASTER RACE, BOIS!" and presses the button.

 

Suddenly, there's an immensely bright light shining out of the tempered glass side panel that fills about half of the camera with Red 255 Green 255 Blue 255. Loud pops, hissing, and grey smoke are billowing out of the case. It probably dripped into the PSU.

 

He's lost all his cool and screaming like a little girl, running for the exquisite bathroom. He's throwing water onto it (a horrible thing to do in an electrical fire). We're all laughing, and he's apparently forgotten about the live stream for a second. And instead of lamenting about the thousands of dollars of electronics he's trashed, he says:

 

"Y'all been lyin to me! That Conductonaut sh!t is trash!" followed by more ranting and swear words. He then flings his burnt, broken rig straight out his huge window, spraying glass all over the adjacent sidewalk.

 

The next day at school was hilarious.

 

THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

idk who this is but sounds like he got what he deserved 

[Crunchy Dragon]

1 hour ago, SenpaiKaplan said:

Literally bought a brand new laptop, the other one was 2 years old and was perfect other than the duff keyboard.

I mean.....

https://youtu.be/a1sU82JmY1s?t=386

[Tamesh16]

33 minutes ago, Crunchy Dragon said:

I mean.....

https://youtu.be/a1sU82JmY1s?t=386

i rewatched this just the other day, starting to like Justine 

[SenKa]

57 minutes ago, Crunchy Dragon said:

I mean.....

https://youtu.be/a1sU82JmY1s?t=386

I remember that video. It so easy to remove passwords from macOS!

 

At the time I was rocking a slowly dying 2011 MBP, so it made me double pissed off

 

Also 11 iphones, something like 5 XBox One's, 4 apple watches, a 55" TV at the minimum in every bed/living room. She has issues...

[Billy Pilgrim]

I once had a friend ask me for tech support saying his hard drive wasn't working. I asked him to show me his computer and he walked up with a MacBook Air, which uses an NVME drive.

 

The conversation went like this:

Me: Your hard drive isn't the problem.

Friend: Are you sure

Me: Yes

Friend: How do you know

Me: Your computer doesn't have a hard drive

Friend: oh

 

It turned out to be a leaf stuck in one of the fans.

[soldier_ph]

17 minutes ago, Schnoz said:

How the actual frick does a leaf get stuck in a Mac with almost no ventilation! (the vents are very hard to access)

Only "geniuses" use Macbooks, that's how.

 

/s

[Sprawlie]

"My printer is broken"...

 

"it says load legal. did you tell word to print on legal??"

 

"no, that sounds like tech stuff, I don't understand tech. Just make my printer work"

 

I wish I hadj the power to fire these people... how the hell you can be hired as a "data analyst" and not even know how to print...

[Billy Pilgrim]

4 hours ago, Schnoz said:

How the actual frick does a leaf get stuck in a Mac with almost no ventilation! (the vents are very hard to access)

The leaf wasn't actually that far in it and I am pretty sure he was using it outside during fall.

[Guest]

13 hours ago, Pascal... said:

Only "geniuses" use Macbooks, that's how.

This was an exception, then.

[Sprawlie]

I wish I could just forward just about every call log and helpdesk ticket that goes through our system

 

what I have learned in the last year: Bank employees, especially tellers and front branch staff are some of the dumbest (and not just tech) people on the planet I have had to deal with professionally. Which explains why thats their job. They're generally super nice people, but the questions, comments and concerns I see on a daily basis make me wonder how the fuck they have managed to even feed themselves on a daily basis. Especially the employees who are under 50 who don't even know how to restart a computer.

 

several tickets that passed through our helpdesk today:

 

Title: "Printer Dysfunctioning". 

Description: Printer reports it needs legal paper. What does this mean? please fix my printer or buy me a new one.

 

Title: "Word Shut down"

Description: word just shut down, I lost hours of work. IT this is your fault, please recover my work

 

Title: "Printer Broken" 

Description: "printed something, came out of wrong printer. Please reprint that to the right printer"

 

Title: "Excel is broken"

Description: "Formula in excel doesn't work. IT please rewrite"

 

How about the person who when asked to restart their computer, complained that it wasn't working and IT didn't know what we were talking about. She was pressing the monitor power button and thinking that rebooted the computer.

 

I swear, I wish I could force a computer literacy test on our employees and walk out anyone who fails. THis is 2019. There is NO excuse for being computer illiterate in the workplace. Especially since computers have been on desks in offices for 20+ years.

 

[Pi31415]

Today in lunch I asked a kid for the WiFi password, which then we replied "No one knows it but I have a way to get into it, you need a VPN (This thing has a sign in page so changing the VPN would do nothing (You would need to change the MAC address already approved to the login) and the VPN wouldn't even connect if it doesn't even have WiFi.) But anyways he asks "Do you have a VPN for your Xbox?" I replied with "No, you really don't need one" He replies with something reasonable like booters and all that, but then I would proceed to tell him that most people wouldn't really do it all that. Then he said No lots of people do it and that he knows how to, I simple said "I very highly doubt that", he said "NO NO NO NO NO all you need is a HP laptop...????..????" then he started stuttering and someone changed the subject. I stopped listening at HP laptop

[soldier_ph]

When people ask me if I can "hack" into a certain service, for example EpicGames or Playstation Network. Like as if "hacking" would be as easy as in the movies *facepalm*

[Sir Asvald]

I've got many stories,

 

First story

 

One time when I was doing contracting work for London Ambulance Service. A lady was waiting outside my office. (special me, my own office). Anyway. She came to down because she couldn't plug in her charge for her phone, the phone is question is a Nokia with Windows. (please don't question why they use Windows phones) Anyway, it turns out someone open up the phone up to change the the sim card and didn't bother putting it back. So all I did was push done to phone case and it that was it.

 

Second story this is more techie and non-techie issue.

 

This was a bit of a problem. It had to fix the Surface Pro of a director, she couldn't login because her password expired. So I reset he password and went out about my day imaging of some laptops. I get a call from the same director. She said she couldn't use her keyboard on her Surface Pro. I confused, So I took a spare keyboard and tested it, worked for good day and the problem came back. After speaking to the boss, and other colleagues they were all confused. After I while I remembered that there was an update for all laptops, Surface Pros and desktops which did cause hardware and software issues. So we gave her a wireless keyboard and mouse for the time being to figure out how to stop the updates from rolling out. So I spoke to the systems admin team to tell them about the problem. They stopped the the updates from going live. After a while we gave her a laptop because all the Surface Pro's were all taken.

After a week and a half, I get a call from the boss saying she's having issues with he smart card. She's trying to access her staff portal. I spoke to her and said when did the problem start, she said one day ago. It turned out she was using the wrong card all the time. She was trying to use her staff ID card rather than he Smart card. 

 

Third Story. As I mentioned, I was re-imaging laptops and PCs from Windows 7 to windows 10. So I have list of laptops, PCs that needed to be upgraded. So I every time I need to contact a person regarding their laptops or PCs I tell them that they need to back up their data because everything will go. This particular person said they had done everything I asked. We have a policy that we can't touch the users laptop. I was given the okay to go on this laptop as it was another director's laptop. So I login using my account and see if he had moved the files, but they were still on the C drive rather than the network drive. I contacted to and told him you need to remove everything onto the network drive. I didn't want to do it because there was sensitive files. I gave the laptop back and 2 days later he did move everything on the network drive. I then proceeded to re-image the laptop. After 5 hours (the time I allow myself if something happens) at around 4PM I left the laptop in his office and sent him an email telling him so. This is when he gets upset and angry. He comes into the main office where I was called and he starts telling why has everything changed, blah blah. I told him from the beginning that everything will be different, the layout.  I told my boss and he spoke to him.

 

 

So yeah. There are my stories.  

 

 

[zombieshy_guy81]

Me: Does bad in maths at school

Dad: why are your math grades so bad, i mean you have this monstrosity of a Pc?

Me: Pc's and maths are completely different

Dad: No they aren't

Me:

[Juniiii]

3 hours ago, zombieshy_guy81 said:?Me: Does bad in maths at school

Dad: why are your math grades so bad, i mean you have this monstrosity of a Pc?

Me: Pc's and maths are completely different

Dad: No they aren't

Me:

I used to have this on algebra teacher in 7th grade and he hated me, for the entire year I’m not allowed to go to lunch, I have to go to his room. He also called me down out of my other classes if I somehow made out freetime. Well day we had this converstion, “What do you wanna be when your grow up mr.junii?”, I replied with honesty, “Anything with computers, maybe programming”, he replied in a assholish tone “you do realize that without algebra and you never studying for my class you will never be able to get a career in computers ever”, I replied “ I spent lots of time on computers, building, programming, and a whole bunch of stuff and I’ve never done anything related to math, not even a calculator”, he replied “nope that’s false you haven’t done any real work, my friend who’s a programmer always asks me for help with math, he’s lucky to have me” After that I’ve done PhP, Lua, C#, SQL, HMTL, CSS and if I ever learned something was to pay attention in language classes not math class or even computer class, anyways I’m gonna visit this asshole one day and confront him because he’s made lots of kids think that if they don’t learn in his class they will never become doctors, car mechanists, programmers. Sad life he lives, just not something you should tell a kid...

[AlTech]

1 hour ago, Juniiii said:

for the entire year I’m not allowed to go to lunch, I have to go to his room.

I'm surprised that was/is allowed in your school.

[Juniiii]

18 hours ago, AluminiumTech said:

I'm surprised that was/is allowed in your school.

It was since I was failing

[Guest]

On 1/6/2019 at 8:46 PM, Schnoz said:

THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

Are you allowed to post the video of the stream? He did live stream it anyways, so it's his fault for putting that content up on the internet for anyone to see.

[Sumit Kumar]

On 1/17/2013 at 12:23 AM, Fordox said:

A really old man (worst example EVER), was comming to our pc store because he bought a pc that didn't work.

he plugged it in, and nothing worked.

...

he didn't push the power button...

that said, he came back. the screen is still black.

same freaking reason. he did not turn the darn thing on, we had to draw out the symbol of a on/off switch, i walked to the back and laughed reeeaaally hard i allmost cried, 3 times in a row (first for the not working pc, second for the not working monitor and third for the actual drawing) XD

this has really happened but the guy was old (75?) and probably has never used an electrical device in his whole life (country side).

that was the least tech savvy person i have ever encountered.

If you have already watched all the episodes available or not using your CBS All Access anymore, you probably want to cancel your CBS All Access Subscription. So, non-techies please don't get confused. Here's is how to cancel CBS all access easily.

[AqHu]

[Dominik W]

3 hours ago, AqHu said:

It's a joke. Don't you guys understand?

[AqHu]

3 hours ago, Dominik W. said:

It's a joke. Don't you guys understand?

Yes, it is a joke...

I'm glad you could tell!