LGBT community

[Nowak]

ngl

 

Saying shit like "Being gay is not a personality!" is pretty reductive and shitty, because you're policing how people can express themselves. And a lot of gay people want to show they aren't afraid of who they are or afraid of being persecuted for who they are. And a lot of the time, they only feel safe doing this online.

 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaalso, it kinda implies you consider some queer people "acceptable" and others "unacceptable" which is: also shitty.

[Letgomyleghoe]

12 minutes ago, Nowak said:

"Being gay is not a personality!"

okay, okay, hear me out. 

I understand pride, I understand being open I understand being proud, but it gets to a point where it's constantly brought up. And as much as I'm happy that said person is open about it, it can almost seem like the person is trying to find new ways in order to bring their sexuality into the conversation. It's just like if someone else was constantly talking about a certain band, constantly buying products from that certain band, always bringing that certain band up, I would tell them "listening to said band isn't a personality." And I agree there can be times were it's just someone being genuinely a dick about small things like a pride flag or some clothing, or bringing up their sexuality openly with others, but there are times where it gets genuinely annoying. 

[Nowak]

3 minutes ago, Letgomyleghoe said:

okay, okay, hear me out. 

I understand pride, I understand being open I understand being proud, but it gets to a point where it's constantly brought up. And as much as I'm happy that said person is open about it, it can almost seem like the person is trying to find new ways in order to bring their sexuality into the conversation. It's just like if someone else was constantly talking about a certain band, constantly buying products from that certain band, always bringing that certain band up, I would tell them "listening to said band isn't a personality." And I agree there can be times were it's just someone being genuinely a dick about small things like a pride flag or some clothing. Sorry if this offensive, but this is genuinely how I feel about said subject. 

The entire point of pride is to show that you're not afraid. Queer folk have historically been oppressed by way of books written millennia ago for those millennia, either through cherry-picked "morality" from said books or through the law, usually interpreted from the books. Being proud means that you're taking control of yourself and not being afraid of this part of you.

 

But, would you rather I just talk about mechanical keyboards or Final Fantasy XIV? Come on. I don't want to actually have a one-track mind. I am me, I am gay, and that's fine.

[handymanshandle]

posting a day later, but Day 5 went pretty okay despite not getting much sleep

Was kinda sad because it sucked to leave, both of us were kinda fighting back tears because of how sucky it was to say goodbye but hopefully I'll be back in late April or early May.

 

We got Zaxby's for dinner like last time, although because it was an early dinner it didn't help us in finishing our meals.
We at least ate the chicken but both of us didn't finish our fries.

 

We went to Smashburger for Lunch they were pretty good.

[Kawaii Koneko]

Kind of annoyed with my mom right now. I still haven't told her that girl I'm into is trans because said girl hasn't given me the go-ahead but my mom pretty much figured it out. It's my fault. Lately I have been bringing up and arguing about trans issues with her and now she is totally convinced this girl is trans, which she is but i didn't want her to piece it together like this.

 

Now she is making smart comments to me whenever I talk about her like "Will you stop saying she?" and "She's not a she, he's a guy". The thing that annoys me is my mom says she believes some trans people are legitimately born in the wrong body. But according to her it is only a very small minority and the rest are just confused. Personally, I think it is the exact opposite. But when I try to pin her down about those people who she admits were born with a mismatch of gender and sex, like what should they do? She can't give an answer. 

 

I don't need my parents approval but I wish they were a bit open minded. Honestly though, I can't be mad. There was a time I thought like them until I started to educate myself on the subject. When I look at and talk to this girl, I seriously can't see anything but a girl. I've certainly come a long way. Can't believe I ever thought any different. There was a time when I wondered if I tried to date a trans girl, would I second guess it? Definitely have my answer now and it's a big no. 

 

Kind of makes me sad for all the guys who are still hung up on all this. I don't give a crap what people think but a lot of guys do. It's a shame that society is still so judgmental that people feel the need to hide their true feelings. So many great relationships could exist if people could just be open and not worry about what others think.

 

And to be clear, I realize I say I don't give a crap what people think but yet complain about my parents opinion on the matter. What I mean is, what people think doesn't change how I feel and I don't feel any kind of embarrassment or unease because of what others think. But at the same time, I do want to see a shift in public opinion. Hope that makes sense.

[BakaPetra]

I'm a trans woman ( mtf ), but I can't really come out due to the mentality of people in my country and the political side of things. My close friends and my sister knows it.

[handymanshandle]

Like I generally have no qualms with someone if they’re trans as long as yknow they’re a decent person which I think they’re worthy of basic decency as far as that “golden rule” goes. 

Personally, I’m a gay man. It doesn’t just mean I’m into men as an expression of what a man “is”, it to me also means  what they have in their groin region biologically. I do truly loathe the people that would say that’s transphobic. It’s not. I think the trans issues are a separate and far more complex topic than Lesbian, Gay or Bi issues. Because I do find it rather concerning some are pushing HRT on kids who could be easily persuaded into doing something they may not want to do, but I also understand allowing kids more freedom to express themselves so it’s really a balancing act and I think reality tends to be hopefully less crazy than what it tends to be portrayed as with regards to minors and gender transitions and just the overall push for things.

But back to what I was saying about biology, Trans men don’t have that and weren’t born with it but im willing to at least recognize their preferred identity because I still strongly agree with the “golden rule” that was taught in school so long ago.  

[steelo]

I'll be honest, I couldn't care less about skin color, sexual orientation, gender identification, bedroom habits, etc, etc. I have friends from just about every walk of life and I don't see any of them differently. I don't treat anybody as more 'special' based on any of these characteristics because they're not. We all have unique characteristics, strengths and weaknesses. We're all human and in this together.

 

Just don't step on the rights of my myself or my family and we'll be okay. Once government or other groups restrict my ability to live normally in the name of 'equity', then I have a big problem.

 

Just my 2 cents worth.

[kaiju_wars]

My mom thinks I might be gay cause I support basic human rights in terms of the whole "LGBT issue" in the US.

I mean, I'm bi, but she doesn't need to know that, because to her, "that's the ultimate sin in the eyes of god."

 

[Quackers101]

12 hours ago, Kawaii Koneko said:

Now she is making smart comments to me whenever I talk about her like "Will you stop saying she?" and "She's not a she, he's a guy". The thing that annoys me is my mom says she believes some trans people are legitimately born in the wrong body. But according to her it is only a very small minority and the rest are just confused. Personally, I think it is the exact opposite. But when I try to pin her down about those people who she admits were born with a mismatch of gender and sex, like what should they do? She can't give an answer.

That if this related to the "non-binary" discussion, that I would say in certain areas have made people confused of what sex some people are and what trans actually means. Which is why some might suggest "transsexual", but I guess some had their issues with that too. I guess if taken the chance, having 2 girls or a group of friends with different genders, one being the trans girl to show your mom if she can notice a difference, like playing a game if not that gets too rude? then again I don't know your issues or the situation with your mom. Just thought it would be fun confusing her, showing if even she could notice. if that would work and if the person you go out with would accept anything like that. *oof*

29 minutes ago, kaiju_wars said:

My mom thinks I might be gay cause I support basic human rights in terms of the whole "LGBT issue" in the US.

I mean, I'm bi, but she doesn't need to know that, because to her, "that's the ultimate sin in the eyes of god."

Religion, one way to have too much religious ideas that conflicts with the religion as a whole?

Taking it to heart, and end up doing what the religion says you shouldn't do.

"eyes of god" "what god made", while denying anything about what god actually made or to what god? or just to her own eyes of that "god". Since everyone will have a different god, a god they might follow or different views of how that god would be like. No god to theirs, will be the same as any other god for other people.

[JamesTheFolf]

On 2/18/2021 at 9:56 PM, jrhaberland said:

First off I want to say I'm sorry this is so long, but I didn't know how to make it shorter tbh.

 

 

Hello,

 

My name is James Haberland and I am gay. My pronouns are He/Him.

 

My coming out story starts back in my sophomore year of high school. This is when I started to have my first thoughts that I might be gay, but I kept denying it. Then over the summer before my junior year of high school I accepted that I'm gay. I started to become very stressed and anxious because I was extremely worried about what my parents and my schoolmates would think when I cam out. This stress and anxiety caused my grades to drop, and my parents became unhappy and worried. They kept bugging me about what was going on and why my grades were slipping. After the end of the first grading period they forced me to tell them what was going on I really didn't want to, but I did. I told them that I was gay and I was crying pretty bad because I was really worried. After that they told me it was okay and that they were okay with me being gay. That made me really happy because they are my parents and I wanted their support. Tho even after telling them I still was stressed and then became really depressed because I was very lonely and sad. The start of this year (my senior year) I wasn't doing good at all. I failed out of four of my classes because I was extremely depressed and stressed. That was last semester, however this semester I'm doing much better in all my classes, I've started an antidepressant which is helping, and I have found a lovely boyfriend to keep me company.

Well I'm once again single. I think I'm not gonna try dating anyone til I'm at least in college and I know more of who I am.

[kelvinhall05]

4 minutes ago, jrhaberland said:

Well I'm once again single. I think I'm not gonna try dating anyone til I'm at least in college and I know more of who I am.

I'm in the same boat as you. The few times I tried I was respectfully shut down cause they weren't into guys. Also just don't want to deal with a relationship until uni.

 

Hopefully you're doing alright though. Feel free to dm if you want.

[JamesTheFolf]

3 minutes ago, kelvinhall05 said:

I'm in the same boat as you. The few times I tried I was respectfully shut down cause they weren't into guys. Also just don't want to deal with a relationship until uni.

 

Hopefully you're doing alright though. Feel free to dm if you want.

Yeah, I'm doing fine. We were just kinda drifting apart, so I decided it would be better for both of us to just stop not instead of getting hurt more later on. It's also made me realize that I don't need a relationship to be happy, just need friends who I can hang with once in awhile.

[kelvinhall05]

1 minute ago, jrhaberland said:

Yeah, I'm doing fine. We were just kinda drifting apart, so I decided it would be better for both of us to just stop not instead of getting hurt more later on. It's also made me realize that I don't need a relationship to be happy, just need friends who I can hang with once in awhile.

Lel I find it amusing how much we think alike. Hope you don't find it awkward I always reply to you with "lol same", but yeah, I feel this too.

 

 

Would I like to have someone? Yeah, for sure. Any time soon? Absolutely not. Very content with a group of some very good friends I have and don't want to deal with all the bs a relationship brings; I find at this age the cons outweigh the pros. At least you guys seem to have separated on good terms.

[JamesTheFolf]

1 minute ago, kelvinhall05 said:

Lel I find it amusing how much we think alike. Hope you don't find it awkward I always reply to you with "lol same", but yeah, I feel this too.

 

 

Would I like to have someone? Yeah, for sure. Any time soon? Absolutely not. Very content with a group of some very good friends I have and don't want to deal with all the bs a relationship brings; I find at this age the cons outweigh the pros. At least you guys seem to have separated on good terms.

You're good, I feel like a lot of people have similar experiences to this. Yeah we broke up on good terms, so did my last two relationships tho. I always try to end things on good terms, cause I don't want things coming back to haunt me in the future. Yeah the cons are much greater than the cons, and I understand that the chance our relationship would actually go anywhere was nearly zero.

[Kawaii Koneko]

20 hours ago, Quackers101 said:

That if this related to the "non-binary" discussion, that I would say in certain areas have made people confused of what sex some people are and what trans actually means. Which is why some might suggest "transsexual", but I guess some had their issues with that too. I guess if taken the chance, having 2 girls or a group of friends with different genders, one being the trans girl to show your mom if she can notice a difference, like playing a game if not that gets too rude? then again I don't know your issues or the situation with your mom. Just thought it would be fun confusing her, showing if even she could notice. if that would work and if the person you go out with would accept anything like that. *oof*

Religion, one way to have too much religious ideas that conflicts with the religion as a whole?

Taking it to heart, and end up doing what the religion says you shouldn't do.

"eyes of god" "what god made", while denying anything about what god actually made or to what god? or just to her own eyes of that "god". Since everyone will have a different god, a god they might follow or different views of how that god would be like. No god to theirs, will be the same as any other god for other people.

I already showed a few pictures to my mom so she already knows what she looks like. 

 

Personally, I'm a Christian but I don't have a problem with her being trans but a lot of other Christians take issue with this kind of thing. I'm of the opinion that all the verses people point to as being against transgender people are either being misinterpreted or are mistranslations of the original text. She is pretty much on the same page as me as we actually talked a fair amount about religion and how it relates to transgender issues. I can tell this is something she thought of as well in her life as she obviously did a fair amount of research. I think we were both researching for different reasons though.

 

 

[Guest]

I don't know how you convince someone of the legitimacy of trans people. For some it's such an upset to their worldview that they can't accept it. That's why they deny and can't stand the "misuse" of pronouns (in their mind). To them it's like trying to say west is east and black is white. I think the most you could do is introduce them. It seems like most homophobic people I've known who changed their opinion did so because they got to know homosexuals on a personal level. Abstract arguments about it don't seem to cut it. It's the human side that changes them.

[Quackers101]

2 hours ago, Kawaii Koneko said:

...

Personally, I'm a Christian but I don't have a problem with her being trans but a lot of other Christians take issue with this kind of thing. I'm of the opinion that all the verses people point to as being against transgender people are either being misinterpreted or are mistranslations of the original text.

...

*points at the texts that goes against itself*

Dont trust em. A lot of people dont, or accept a newer mindset. Like oudated ways to live or punish someone. The Bible or Quran is written by people for people. A lot of churches have moved on, as any religion should do. Some slower than others.

[GOTSpectrum]

So I posted here quite a while ago but I never really followed up with it.

 

So here I am, trying again. 

 

I'm Spec, I run the folding team here on the forum, I work in social care and I enjoy streaming. (you can tell I really don't know how making friends works lmfao) I don't really have any friends who are part of the LGBT community. I never really realised how much it bothered me till I started hanging out in LGBT streamers chats. 

 

Oh, and I'm pansexual, I probably should have lead with that.

[Sarra]

8 hours ago, milkerfish said:

also I'm trans and pan.

This gave me a very odd mental image, of a human transforming into a frying pan... My brain needs help. @__@

 

What do you want to study at Uni? I also hope you have a better time than I did when I first went to Uni. I dropped out after less than a year with a 0.91 GPA. >_>

[Sarra]

7 minutes ago, milkerfish said:

IT and Networking ^_^

omg lol I'm literally looking at network gear right now. XD

 

Good luck. :3 I always kinda wish I had gone into Networking, but... I did music instead.

[Nowak]

9 hours ago, milkerfish said:

Hi

 

My name is Sarah I like tech (probably evident by the fact im on this forum)

Currently in between high school and university which I'll be starting in September. Atm I'm working a min wage job to keep busy and save for uni.

 

also I'm trans and pan.

Oh hey, I think I've spoken to you before. Mostly off-site, but still.

[captain_to_fire]

I kinda like the idea of a Google Meet date

[Murasaki]

I'm pan \:3/

[Quackers101]

Spoiler

rant

7 hours ago, milkerfish said:

This argument is brought up constantly, especially in the context of anti discrimination laws. Now I don't want to put words in your mouth but what rights are you talking about being stepped on.

Some would say when they try to hit both sides in sports, like what is constantly talked about female sports "getting ruined". While it's nothing wrong with trans in sport, the harder in some sports is to know what group they belong to? Like they nearly need their own group. Also what makes the peoples view on the matter worse, is that they don't really need to disclose much about their transition for making the transition to another group valid. Of course some sports this shouldn't matter much, just having those who fit (weight, size, strenght etc) to fight each other, no matter who they are.

 

Also anti discrimination works in some areas, if it can be take seriously. If it wants support gender or identity? If you had to say that they had to accept 100,000 identities and more, than when they want to know your gender/sex and it would be discrimination to do so. Like what a lot of trans or identity groups make, if they had to disclose their status to more dangerous parties that might be violent or hate trans people in general. The idea where it could create a dangerous situation.

7 hours ago, milkerfish said:

Yea I can relate relate, having Muslim parents and all 

 

my mom thinks LGBTQ+ is just a "liberal western thing" and one of the greatest sins in the world. She also thinks any scientific evidence to support homo/trans sexuality is a conspiracy by the west to undermine the legitimacy of religion...

This is why I would want to build up an "modern muslim" community in the first world, so less of these views gets dragged with religion. Also that the religion would have a better safety net in their community. If she thinks that is the greatests sins, just don't look at what other muslim groups have done to their precious icons or historical sites. So much for this religion to say it's the one true religion like what any religion might want to do or say, I guess they also want to say that religion does not support nature nor the natural and complex inner workings of the body and brain. "god is so great" when he doesn't even know what he created assumingly to what the followers state or is going to let his followers do either, while saying this is the truth of the universe.

5 hours ago, Murasaki said:

I'm pan \:3/

Stop being pan, become pot!