? Tesla Truck Kinda Edgy Tho - Tesla releases oddly polygonal pickup truck

[justpoet]

Hate the look, hate that there’s no real frame.  Love the thick and solid stainless steel for the body...finally a body that will last like an old truck.  Hate there’s no 8 foot bed option.  Concerned about using it like a truck (plowing, bed accessories such as ladder racks or tool backs or camper shells, actual off road...it has clearance, but what about when it hits or slides the bottom, where the battery is).  Concerned it will only get reasonable ranges when the bed is closed to keep full aero

 

Actually interested in the ATV.  Will be interesting to see what run time and charge time is like, performance on track, and if they branch out to bikes later (there are some pretty reasonable motocross e bikes now, except for cost and runtime).

 

What I find the most important though is the pricing.  This isn’t super inflated above normal truck pricing like most expected e trucks would be.  If this can bring e truck pricing, and normal truck pricing even, down for consumers as the other major players all expect to enter the space too...this is a win.

[Bombastinator]

1 minute ago, justpoet said:

Hate the look

[/QUOTE] fair.  I doubt it will stay that way

, hate that there’s no real frame.

welcome to 1970

Love the thick and solid stainless steel for the body...finally a body that will last like an old truck.  

and if it’s like the other Tesla’s it’ll do 350k too

Hate there’s no 8 foot bed option.  

*fistbump*

Concerned about using it like a truck (plowing, bed accessories such as ladder racks or tool backs or camper shells, 

plowing it should kick total ass at.  Full torque from a standing start.  It’s like a freight train but with traction.  The other stuff I’m with you

actual off road...it has clearance, but what about when it hits or slides the bottom, where the battery is).  Concerned it will only get reasonable ranges when the bed is closed to keep full aero

so only 200miles on a charge instead of 300?

 

Actually interested in the ATV.  Will be interesting to see what run time and charge time is like, performance on track, and if they branch out to bikes later (there are some pretty reasonable motocross e bikes now, except for cost and runtime).

 

What I find the most important though is the pricing.  This isn’t super inflated above normal truck pricing like most expected e trucks would be.  If this can bring e truck pricing, and normal truck pricing even, down for consumers as the other major players all expect to enter the space too...this is a win.

 

[Drak3]

9 minutes ago, justpoet said:

finally a body that will last like an old truck.

Old trucks weren't all that great. While steel was thicker then, the structural designs weren't as good. Anti-rust measures weren't as good back then either. The durability of old trucks is massively oversold.

[dizmo]

At first I absolutely hated it. 

But the more I look at it the more it grows on me.. 

[amdorintel]

will it deflect radar signals from the poopoo ?

[Bombastinator]

3 minutes ago, amdorintel said:

will it deflect radar signals from the poopoo ?

Not with that square nose.

[Dominol2005]

[Monkey Dust]

2 hours ago, RejZoR said:

Because I don't give a shit about crumple zones. I wasn't talking about car to car collisions at ANY point. I was talking about this brick hitting a living person. What has Saab or Volvo to do with any of this?!

SUVs and similar are all pretty rubbish for pedestrian safety. The double whammy of being impacted further up your body, torso and head rather than legs, and a greater chance of going under the vehicle, and getting crushed. This does look designed for making absolutely sure you kill whoever you hit though.

 

So many other questions;

That roofline, is the peak really high? Or do rear passengers have little headroom?

Is Elon trolling? Has he completely lost his mind?

Or is it just a desperate bid for cash in the form of deposits, and they just wheeled out what ever they could find? 

 

The price seems wildly optimistic too. Considering its weight and claimed range, it's going to need an enormous battery.

[Nicnac]

[Drak3]

Just now, Monkey Dust said:

That roofline, is the peak really high? Or do rear passengers have little headroom?

Is Elon trolling? Has he completely lost his mind?

Or is it just a desperate bid for cash in the form of deposits, and they just wheeled out what ever they could find? 

It just looks like a test platform for suspension, drive train, etc.

[amdorintel]

no headroom in the back seat

[Bombastinator]

23 minutes ago, Monkey Dust said:

SUVs and similar are all pretty rubbish for pedestrian safety. The double whammy of being impacted further up your body, torso and head rather than legs, and a greater chance of going under the vehicle, and getting crushed. This does look designed for making absolutely sure you kill whoever you hit though.

 

So many other questions;

That roofline, is the peak really high? Or do rear passengers have little headroom?

Is Elon trolling? Has he completely lost his mind?

Or is it just a desperate bid for cash in the form of deposits, and they just wheeled out what ever they could find? 

 

The price seems wildly optimistic too. Considering its weight and claimed range, it's going to need an enormous battery.

Every time I’ve ever gotten in an accident it was with a pickup.  Every time their bumper was illegally high and completely missed mine, hitting my body work.  Never once did they have any damage.  Only me.

[Energycore]

Looks like a military vehicle, not civilian

[MadyTehWolfie]

3 hours ago, justpoet said:

Hate the look, hate that there’s no real frame.  Love the thick and solid stainless steel for the body...finally a body that will last like an old truck.  Hate there’s no 8 foot bed option.  Concerned about using it like a truck (plowing, bed accessories such as ladder racks or tool backs or camper shells, actual off road...it has clearance, but what about when it hits or slides the bottom, where the battery is).  Concerned it will only get reasonable ranges when the bed is closed to keep full aero

 

Actually interested in the ATV.  Will be interesting to see what run time and charge time is like, performance on track, and if they branch out to bikes later (there are some pretty reasonable motocross e bikes now, except for cost and runtime).

 

What I find the most important though is the pricing.  This isn’t super inflated above normal truck pricing like most expected e trucks would be.  If this can bring e truck pricing, and normal truck pricing even, down for consumers as the other major players all expect to enter the space too...this is a win.

Lol If by last you mean become a rotted out rust bucket used by landscapers sure. 

[Drak3]

4 hours ago, justpoet said:

Concerned it will only get reasonable ranges when the bed is closed to keep full aero

When you say closed, do you mean the tailgate, or the tonneau cover too?

 

Because if it’s like other pickups, the tonneau cover might negatively impact range.

[SpookyCitrus]

10 hours ago, Bombastinator said:

I’m calling BS on this one.  Look at the rims.

 It's not BS lmao, Elon himself unveiled it last night, they're also making an ATV(the ATV actually looks badass). The truck is an ugly ass vehicle though, everyone thought he was memeing when they drove it out.

[Bombastinator]

38 minutes ago, Energycore said:

Looks like a military vehicle, not civilian

That I suspect was the point.  Iirc articles about them sending tesla designers to look at military vehicles.  I also ran into an internet questionnaire some months ago asking design questions about it.  I forget what was on it though.

[Bombastinator]

1 minute ago, SpookyCitrus said:

 It's not BS lmao, Elon himself unveiled it last night, they're also making an ATV(the ATV actually looks badass). The truck is an ugly ass vehicle though, everyone thought he was memeing when they drove it out.

So even people who drove it didn’t think it was real.  I do think it’s a test mule and the actual vehicle will look different.

 

apparently I was wrong about it being totally fake though.

[Taf the Ghost]

Also, and this is still bugging me.

 

It isn't a Cybertruck. It's a Space Jeep.

[Atmos]

I was actually so hyped for a tesla truck... this abomination thought...

 

This is honestly going to be an interesting couple weeks. I can only see this playing out in one of three ways.

1. This is a joke and tesla will announce the REAL truck in a couple weeks, and are just using this for building outrage publicity because not a single person I know is even remotely interested in this "truck" and I use that term VERY loosely.

2. Tesla is being sincere and this pile of actual shit is literally what they plan on mass producing next. It fulfills only a single role as a truck, and is actively detrimental to other uses that prospective truck buyers literally require, which makes absolutely no sense. Its like they didnt even gather market information on what the people who buy trucks want and require in a truck. Lets just go over that list real quick.

1. High towing capacity
2. Easily accessible bed
3. Mounting options for a bed mounted toolbox
4. ample tool and equipment storage
5. ample interior space & headroom
6. Compatible 5th wheel towing
7. high capacity bed load
8. intimidating
9. Quickly and easily repaired to get back on the job site
10. Large tank for towing long distances

Now lets go over what the Cyber"truck" offers

1. Towing capacity in between gasoline and diesel for 30% more price of either
2. A bed that is inaccessible from the sides, and cannot be easily or quickly entered due to the lack of a bumper or step bar
3. No ability to mount a bed toolbox because of inaccessibility from the sides
4. No folding seats in rear means less tool and interior storage for tools and equipment than competetors
5. Harsh sloping roof-line means rear seats are choked for headroom
6. No ability to mount 5th wheel towing options
7. High bed load capacity
8. Literally the ugliest design in a car in modern history. you will be laughed at, guaranteed.
9. Tesla notorious extremely long repair times means no quick repairs
10. Low range capacity when towing, long "refill" time between legs of journey

This is literally the opposite of what truck people want. Its like someone convinced the design team truck people only care about towing capacity. I can 100% guarentee that this vehicle if mass produced will fail. There is literally no compelling reason to buy it over cheaper, better alternatives in almost every tangible way. The only people that will buy this are non-traditional truck owners, and they are few and very far between. This "truck" will probably sell very well day 1, but moving forward will be a complete and total failure, and with tesla's rocky financial status it might even crash the company... Which, given Elon's demeanor through the reveal might be what he honestly wants at this point, so he can stop pouring money into tesla and focus entirely on his real baby, spacex.

 

3. This "truck" was never meant to be mass produced so they never put an insane amount of money into building the fab for them or designing them. They will make 1k of them then stop. Those 1k will sell within a couple days and it will be a weird car collectors item moving forward, and is completely forgotten about in 4 years.

[Drak3]

7 minutes ago, Atmos said:

• High towing capacity
• Easily accessible bed
• Mounting options for a bed mounted toolbox
• ample tool and equipment storage
• ample interior space & headroom
• Compatible 5th wheel towing
• high capacity bed load
• intimidating
• Quickly and easily repaired to get back on the job site
• Large tank for towing long distances

1. Not everyone cares about towing. Some people want trucks for off roading, racing,  ricing, or hauling more than a car.
2. Plenty of people prefer enclosed beds with easy access only being from the back. Tonneau covers and bed caps exist for a reason.
3. Some people just want a bed for things like ATVs or dirt bikes, not tool boxes. I removed mine because it was not practical for my needs.
4. Trucks aren’t only for work.
5. Some people don’t want passengers in their trucks, me being one of them. What this thing offers is fine for us.
6. See #1
7. See #3
8. Not everyone wants an intimidating truck.
9. Too early to really know.
10. See #6. Some people also only care about going short distances. The only problem this thing has is refills, which some people don’t care about.

 

If your list was absolute, the Tacoma, Ranger, Dakota, Colorado/Canyon, and other light half tons and smaller wouldn’t exist. But they do, because some people don’t need an F150 or bigger.

[Atmos]

1 hour ago, Drak3 said:

1. Not everyone cares about towing. Some people want trucks for off roading, racing,  ricing, or hauling more than a car.
2. Plenty of people prefer enclosed beds with easy access only being from the back. Tonneau covers and bed caps exist for a reason.
3. Some people just want a bed for things like ATVs or dirt bikes, not tool boxes. I removed mine because it was not practical for my needs.
4. Trucks aren’t only for work.
5. Some people don’t want passengers in their trucks, me being one of them. What this thing offers is fine for us.
6. See #1
7. See #3
8. Not everyone wants an intimidating truck.
9. Too early to really know.
10. See #6. Some people also only care about going short distances. The only problem this thing has is refills, which some people don’t care about.

 

If your list was absolute, the Tacoma, Ranger, Dakota, Colorado/Canyon, and other light half tons and smaller wouldn’t exist. But they do, because some people don’t need an F150 or bigger.

1. I said those are the typical points truck buyers are looking for. I havent met a single person who owns a truck who hasnt had it kitted for towing something at the very least. Thats literally 1/2 of the reason people buy trucks.

2. Enclosed beds for particular uses, however bed shells can be detached in an afternoorn and the bed set back up for easy access and loading. Its not a permanent feature of the truck.

3. Once again, its what prospective truck buyers look for. You even admit you yourself had a bed toolbox. They are extremely common and a legitimate requirement for many many people and a majority of the truck buying market.

4. Trucks are almost entirely just for work or hauling. Thats literally the entire point of a truck. If you're buying it just because you like the way they look or drive then you are in the absolute minority of truck buyers. Many many many many many truck buyers require space to store tools or equipment in the cab.

5. Some people dont, the majority however would prefer they be able to fit you know, a family perhaps in their truck since most of us cant afford more than one car per working adult. 

6. Most people do. Point moot.

7. You yourself said some people just want to tow atvs and dirt bikes, thus they need a high load capacity for the bed. You can't just stack 2/3 dirt bikes on the back of any freaking vehicle... That just means a bed that can carry a lot without compromising suspension or frame. 

8. Most people do. Infact, almost every single truck owner I know like to have a truck that looks good, which overwhelmingly more often than note means a mean looking truck. Theres a reason trucks look the way they do today, people eat that design up.

9. No it freaking isnt too early to know. Its a tesla. Every other tesla suffers from extremely long repair times because of tesla's 10iq designed oem replacement parts cycle, wherein a certified and licensed repair shop CANNOT have certain parts in stock, and they need to be ordered from tesla directly, taking often weeks for even simple repairs just because they require a tesla specific component. This is an issue thats with tesla and their retarded system, it will affect this "truck". If you dont think it will, you simply do not understand the issue as it current exists.

10. Once again. What most people look for. the 10-15% who only drive around in town and are home every single night and NEVER go on vacation towing a trailer or just in general are the exception to the rule, not the rule itself.

 

 

It all comes down to this.

This isnt a truck as it currently exists. It fails in almost every aspect of what the typical and general truck purchasing community wants and requires. It will not be purchased by companies. It will not be purchased by vacationers. It will not be purchased by offroaders (because of the inability to quickly fix issues if they arise on the trail). It will be purchased by a pitifully small community of clout chasers and people who own trucks simply because its what men own, with no real need to own a truck. Its frankly a joke, in every meaning of the word and if it releases as it currently exists for a mass market it will be the greatest failure in modern car history, quote me on that. I am 100% confident in that prediction because I actually work with many of the people tesla has failed to appeal to, and needs to have buy their product.

 

As reference for that last point I own a business in a truck owning community. 8/10 of my male clientele that I interact with own trucks. They are farmers, ranchers, mechanics, tow men, vacationers, and just general truck enthusiasts living int he city. I have not met a single one who I've talked to who hasnt just laughed out loud at the tesla truck launch. Its been a colossal failure in the purchasing community that they are trying to appeal to. Young guys and old guys alike hate it and think its a joke of a truck.

[AnonymousGuy]

Aren't the aerodynamics of that thing kinda shitty?  Especially the squared off rear end, won't that make tons of drag?

 

Kinda reminds me visually of the first gen Honda Ridgeline which didn't sell well because it wasn't enough of a truck.

[Atmos]

4 minutes ago, AnonymousGuy said:

Aren't the aerodynamics of that thing kinda shitty?  Especially the squared off rear end, won't that make tons of drag?

 

Kinda reminds me visually of the first gen Honda Ridgeline which didn't sell well because it wasn't enough of a truck.

Yes they are, although how much better or worse than a normal truck is a bit hard to determine without testing. From looking at it though... all those flat panels and sharp edges... thats not what aero looks like... 

[Taf the Ghost]

People buy cars for their "expected" utility, not their consistent utility. The Space Jeep doesn't really fit the expected utility for far too many of the people willing to pay 60k+ (probably 80k by the time you get a useful model) SUV with a tow package. 

 

But, and this is really key, the expected utility as a head-turner for a small group of people it does meet. Those are the people that'll buy it. It's a bit like a Lamborghini Countach (which this looks a lot like). For as much as the Countach looks amazing, it's actually one of the worst cars ever made from a "works as a car" perspective. The Space Jeep isn't that bad, but it's pretty close.

 

However, if I was a car collector, I'd put this next to a Countach, both setup to look nuts while sitting there. Then buy something useful. A Mercedes G Wagon or Porsche Cayenne suddenly looks reasonably useful.