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How do I tell my girlfriend I am a Satanist?

H0R53
By H0R53
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Disclaimer: I don't need your opinions on my religion. I just want advice. Please no "God can save you" posting here.

My girlfriend grew up Catholic. I grew up confused and settled for something that fit my chaotic life at the time and stuck with it. We've been dating almost six months and we rarely fight, and even then any argument just becomes a hearted discussion. We are very good for each other, but I am devoted to my religion and I don't want her to leave if she were to find out. She isn't very hardcore about her Christianity but I do get the feeling she does believe in God and that whole nine yards. My beliefs are pretty much the inverse of hers, and history tells that 90% of wars have been fought over religion. I love her and I want to stay with her, but I haven't told her about my beliefs and I'm afraid she might shun me or shut me out if I tell her. I am pretty witty when it comes to confessions (no pun intended) but I am absolutely perplexed as how to go about this.

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0a92721eaa.jpg

"The of and to a in is I that it for you was with on as have but be they"

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Please, this is important. Can the Internet be serious for five minutes?

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Like, the terribly named satanism where you don't believe in sky lords and stand up for critical thinking and treating women well,

 

Or actual devil worship?

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I'm honestly too nervous to tell her because I don't know how to tell her. I'm a bit scared to say it because our relationship has been mostly conflict-less. She found out I had a record (I was young and stupid) and she got over it within 24 hours, but this is something entirely different. Religion is something that helps people guide their lives. (this is true, by the way).

@Yoinkerman Both. More towards the first but instead of saying "Oh my god" I usually say something more appropriate like "Oh Hell" or "By the Dark Lord"

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Here's a pro tip, religion is one of those pillars that's essential for a healthy relationship and if you two are at odds about it you're probably not going to go very far.

 

Explain to her your religious beliefs first and then say it's under the umbrella of Satanism (this one, not the other one) and let her come to her own conclusion. You'll probably know real quick whether or not it's going to work out.

.

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Is it being serious to pose such a question to bunch of randoms on an internet forum?

 

How about just tell her what you believe.  If you're not up front on this subject, then you're respecting neither her religion nor yours.  This sounds like one of those bits of information you tell someone on date #1 or #2 at the latest.  The same would be true for atheists.  Without this knowledge, how can you even claim to have a relationship?

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5 minutes ago, H0R53 said:

More towards the first but instead of saying "Oh my god" I usually say something more appropriate like "Oh Hell" or "By the Dark Lord"

 

Now I know you're trolling. That's not what Satanists do.

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1 minute ago, Kloaked said:

Now I know you're trolling. That's not what Satanists do.

Douchey 14-16 year olds do.

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Just now, JoeyDM said:

Douchey 14 year olds do.

OP probably doesn't know a thing about modern Satanism.

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@Kloaked That may not be what Satanists you may know do, but it's what I do. I'm not trolling. I am very serious.

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If you are serious and not trolling, just tell her. Don't get overly emotional and don't raise your voice if things go south.

 

Otherwise, please stop trolling. I'll be blunt. If you're just here to troll then please find a new forum community. 

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@JoeyDM I'm 20 and live by myself.

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Just now, H0R53 said:

@Kloaked That may not be what Satanists you may know do, but it's what I do. I'm not trolling. I am very serious.

No you're not. Do you really expect us to believe that you're in a serious relationship with a practicing Catholic while you're into "Satanism"? I'm not saying that it can't happen, but what you're specifically saying is fishy and unlikely. Are you just looking for attention on the forum or something?

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Being Atheist I have a completely neutral opinion/perspective on your dilemma. Honestly being a Satanist is such a non-common practice/faith (at least where I'm from) that I'd tackle it head on. Tell her flat out while the two of you are alone.

 

Might I ask, what are her religious beliefs if any?

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@Kloaked I am entirely serious. http://imgur.com/a/VpNcj

@Windows7ge Not Catholic entirely, Greek orthodox.

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Included content from replies in one of the messages as proof. http://imgur.com/a/VpNcj

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Yes because clearly everything should be done via text...

>.<

A society's accepted views of the world surrounding said society is both the making and undoing of society itself.
“While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.” - Henry C. Link

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44 minutes ago, H0R53 said:

Disclaimer: I don't need your opinions on my religion. I just want advice. Please no "God can save you" posting here.

My girlfriend grew up Catholic. I grew up confused and settled for something that fit my chaotic life at the time and stuck with it. We've been dating almost six months and we rarely fight, and even then any argument just becomes a hearted discussion. We are very good for each other, but I am devoted to my religion and I don't want her to leave if she were to find out. She isn't very hardcore about her Christianity but I do get the feeling she does believe in God and that whole nine yards. My beliefs are pretty much the inverse of hers, and history tells that 90% of wars have been fought over religion. I love her and I want to stay with her, but I haven't told her about my beliefs and I'm afraid she might shun me or shut me out if I tell her. I am pretty witty when it comes to confessions (no pun intended) but I am absolutely perplexed as how to go about this.

realise that religion is pointless and dumb and if you've got a stable relationship then just tell here, although in my experience and trying out satanism (my thumb still hurts lol) I can safely say most satanists are just atheists that want to piss off Christians and they know it's all bullshit.

Yours faithfully

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4 minutes ago, H0R53 said:

@Kloaked I am entirely serious. http://imgur.com/a/VpNcj

@Windows7ge Not Catholic entirely, Greek orthodox.

 

I still don't buy it. There's no way you're a dedicated and practicing Satanist, and there's no way a 20 year old would come onto some random tech forum and ask for fucking relationship advice from 14 year olds.

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@Kloaked Who do you suppose I ask? I live by myself. What other forum is better? And you're 14? I'll keep that in mind.

Main build: Intel Xeon E3 1240 | 16GB Avexir Red | Custom GTX 1050Ti | 1.5TB RAID0 | 500GB RAID0 | 240GB SSD | 240mm AiO | Thermaltake Dragonscale | Corsair CX600 v1

 

Media Center: Intel i5 3470 | 8GB Corsair XMS3 | GTX 550Ti XLR8 RED | 500GB WD Blue | Stock Intel | Dell 3010 Case | 250W PSU

 

Main Laptop: Gold HP DV7 1127CL | AMD Turion X2 RM-72 | 4GB DDR2 | AMD HD 3200M Graphics | 32GB Hually SSD | 1TB Western Digital Blue

 

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You don't tell her. Just let her find out after you get married and she sees you sacrificing virgins.

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7 minutes ago, H0R53 said:

@Kloaked I am entirely serious. http://imgur.com/a/VpNcj

@Windows7ge Not Catholic entirely, Greek orthodox.

(imgur) You're already telling her about as softly as I can imagine. How she handles it is up to her. If she doesn't like it then your relationship may have some future problems. Also marriage may be a touchy subject with her in the future so I'd be careful bringing it up.

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