Meet the witch who uses magic to cast malware out of the system

[Boobies Sprinkle]

Source: http://motherboard.vice.com/read/we-talked-to-a-witch-who-casts-viruses-out-of-computers-with-magic

 

Gods cast demons and devils out of man, and now Witch cast computer viruses out of the computer. What in the world is going on with our world dimension and spirit dimension?! 

"When nasty viruses infect the computers of folks up in Northern California, Reverend Joey Talley is on it.

The Wiccan witch—who is also an ordained minister through the State of California—not only offers services for people struggling with romantic heartache, depression, and other ailments, she also exorcises viruses from computers.

“No problem is too small, too big, or too weird” is Talley’s motto. Sure, she can do a love spell, but she’d rather face off with ghosts and demons.

To excise such entities out of a machine, she uses a variety of techniques—she might place stones on top of the computer, clear the dark energy by setting an intention with her mind, or cleanse the area around the computer by burning sage. The time it takes to clear these viruses depends on the nefariousness of the entity, she says: sometimes it takes just an hour, other times it can take up to four.

I spoke with Talley to learn more about how she’s used Wiccan witchcraft to build a client base of professionals who want alternative tech support in and around Silicon Valley, and how she silences her critics."
 

 

 

[LynxThe1st]

what the fuck?

dark energy?

it is just some fucking adware or something

no need to summon a demon of death and despair or do some satanic ritual

[Lethal Seraph]

If you build it, they will come.

 

Hopefully idiots don't fall for this fuckery.

[GlassBomb]

[alamox]

i like the framing of the diploma University of Maryland, PhD Witchtech

[royalcrown]

Laugh all you want, but you can't disable magic by hax0ring the registry. Malwarez = OH NOES !

[Moonzy]

i do agree, how computer functions is way beyond me, it may as well be magic

jk, i would probably be failing my degree if i didnt know

[NumLock21]

Meh, these stories pops up from time to time. Last time i've read, some people even hire a priest to perform a exorcism on their pc to get rid of computer problems.

[Beskamir]

This is hilarious, until you realize that there are going to be people that will actually believe this shit.

[Sors]

" alternative tech support "

 

Ok, NOW I have heard everything.

[Doobeedoo]

What?

[BuckGup]

ghjfduiosz;ghsuigsiuwafuierghfsgdy788w9347ry98q23ga

 

makes more sense then this

[Misanthrope]

Hear about code wizards but this is new.  Probably as effective as many Antivirus software though. 

[Orangeator]

3 hours ago, Sors said:

" alternative tech support "

 

Ok, NOW I have heard everything.

Yeah, I said the same thing when I heard about "tech support". 

[christianled59]

Played too much Wizard 101 I guess.

[Boobies Sprinkle]

34 minutes ago, christianled59 said:

Played too much Wizard 101 I guess.

LOL.

[Mushious]

Homeopathic computer remedies, woohoo.

[manikyath]

can someone please factually test prove this wrong?

[Yog]

I don't get how she can continue selling that product. Most physical ailments can be made much better by just being positive so it's easy for her to work her voodoo there, she just has to convince people to be positive, but a computer problem is either there or it's not...people will try her once, see it doesn't work, and then realize she's a fraud.

[Master Disaster]

Did Symantec rebrand Norton again?

[Boobies Sprinkle]

34 minutes ago, Master Disaster said:

Did Symantec rebrand Norton again?

Yes, their new 2016 products name is Norton Security which combine antivirus, anti-spyware,anti-rootkit, firewall, optimization,and backup. All of them are in one suite, and there is no antivirus suite or internet security suite anymore. 

[pixeldensity]

why hire a witch to get rid of malware when you get a hitman pro to do it.

[Paralectic]

DID ANIME GO TOO FAR?

[manikyath]

1 hour ago, Boobies Sprinkle said:

Yes, their new 2016 products name is Norton Security which combine antivirus, anti-spyware,anti-rootkit, firewall, optimization,and backup. All of them are in one suite, and there is no antivirus suite or internet security suite anymore. 

and from my experience the 2016 isnt by far the resource hog it used to be anymore. i'm actually considering doing before/after norton benchmarks again, since my old "30% slower" results are from 2013 with equally dated hardware.

 

its also a breeze to both install and uninstall, providing an overall pretty pleasing experience.

[RollinLower]

uses magic to cast out any nasty viruses from a computer...