Meet the witch who uses magic to cast malware out of the system

[UnknownEngineer]

" Then I performed a banishing ceremony. I used a black bowl with a magnet and water to draw [the virus] out. "

I think she just tries to wipe the HDD with a magnet.... I wonder what happens when a customer with SSD storage comes in.

[branden_lucero]

eh, seen this before. 

[Boobies Sprinkle]

44 minutes ago, manikyath said:

and from my experience the 2016 isnt by far the resource hog it used to be anymore. i'm actually considering doing before/after norton benchmarks again, since my old "30% slower" results are from 2013 with equally dated hardware.

 

its also a breeze to both install and uninstall, providing an overall pretty pleasing experience.

I'm currently using Norton Security 2016 on my main gaming rig, and I can confirm that this product use less than <60MB of RAM. Norton(Symantec) signatures is alright, but is no wear near BitDefender, Kaspersky, or ESET. But what make Norton Security strong is its zero day protection aka Norton SONAR. 

[manikyath]

19 minutes ago, Boobies Sprinkle said:

I'm currently using Norton Security 2016 on my main gaming rig, and I can confirm that this product use less than <60MB of RAM. Norton(Symantec) signatures is alright, but is no wear near BitDefender, Kaspersky, or ESET. But what make Norton Security strong is its zero day protection aka Norton SONAR. 

its never actually been the norton process itself, back with my testing it was just whatever it was doing with other processes that made those tank down.

[Trik'Stari]

Only in California.....

[NunoLava1998]

" MOTHERBOARD: What was one of your first experience using witchcraft to solve a tech issue?  "

"  Again, I just go in and work the energy. And there are different stones that work really well on computers, fluoride is one of them. "

" Sometimes I do a magic spell or tape a magic charm onto the computer somewhere. Sometimes I have a potion for the worker to spray on the chair before they sit down to work. Jet is a stone I use a lot to protect computers. "

"  First, I cast a circle and called in earth, air, fire and water, and then I called in Mercury, the messenger and communicator. "

"  Then I performed a banishing ceremony. I used a black bowl with a magnet and water to draw [the virus] out. Then I saged the whole computer to chase the negativity back into the bowl, and then I flushed that down the toilet. After this I did a purification ceremony. Then I made a protection spell out of chloride, amethyst, and jet. I left these on the computer at the base where she works. "

 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

[ThinkWithPortals]

When I had finished hearing what she had to say...

 

[steezemageeze]

But does she actually get the viruses off or not? I feel like it's some elaborate prank, like she'll do all these rituals, then ask the customer to leave the room so she can meditate on it or something and then she runs Malwarebytes... Or maybe she's just bullshitting, who knows?

[Bhav]

I say grats to her if she's making money out of idiots.

[NunoLava1998]

Let's see more people react to this piece of (very fake) news.