Is studying or working harder ? Share you experiences : )

[pwarrow88]

So I am currently 15. I love tech since I was young and have spent countless hours researching and doing small projects. Every project was a long one full of issues after issues however, for some reason I never felt so tired as to every give up till I got the desired results. I even picked up mining 2 years ago to earn some income to further my research and just a few months ago was able to afford my first high end pc to finally do things like make a nas or run multiple vm's at onces or currently learning about Kubernetes. However, today I got one of those talk from my parents you know, the well you not gonna survive in the world if you don't study and why don't you study instead of doing your projects and of course study is easier than working. I have always been bad at studying and was just never able to sit there and focus however, I feel like one of the things that has made studying painful is just the fact that every time this subject is brought up it just feels like everyone will discounts everything I have ever done to say I am well trash for not having good grades.To be clear I have nothing against my parents nor am I angry cuz let's face it they have a point and they want nothing but the best for me. Now as for why I wrote this admittedly cringy rant about my personal issues. Well I just hope to see what others might think of this as well as if anyone older than I have a different take defending or opposing this point. Thank you for all who took the time out ot read or even comment I really appreciate it

: )

[maartendc]

7 minutes ago, pwarrow88 said:

So I am currently 15. I love tech since I was young and have spent countless hours researching and doing small projects. Every project was a long one full of issues after issues however, for some reason I never felt so tired as to every give up till I got the desired results. I even picked up mining 2 years ago to earn some income to further my research and just a few months ago was able to afford my first high end pc to finally do things like make a nas or run multiple vm's at onces or currently learning about Kubernetes. However, today I got one of those talk from my parents you know, the well you not gonna survive in the world if you don't study and why don't you study instead of doing your projects and of course study is easier than working. I have always been bad at studying and was just never able to sit there and focus however, I feel like one of the things that has made studying painful is just the fact that every time this subject is brought up it just feels like everyone will discounts everything I have ever done to say I am well trash for not having good grades.To be clear I have nothing against my parents nor am I angry cuz let's face it they have a point and they want nothing but the best for me. Now as for why I wrote this admittedly cringy rant about my personal issues. Well I just hope to see what others might think of this as well as if anyone older than I have a different take defending or opposing this point. Thank you for all who took the time out ot read or even comment I really appreciate it

: )

Your parents are correct, studying is important.

 

It sounds like you have an interest in computers and IT, which is good. You can learn a lot on your own and become skilled at something. However, in the 'real world' people will often still ask you for a degree or diploma before hiring you for a job.

 

In my country, there are high school degrees you can get in IT or computer science. This would allow you to get an entry level IT job right out of high school (although I would always encourage getting a college degree as well if possible). Perhaps you would be more motivated to study if you were in some sort of IT classes?

 

As for which is harder, studying or work, that depends:

- An easy job can be much easier than getting a college degree. Jobs require more discipline however, showing up on time every day, and being there for 8 hours.

- An easy study that is below your actual ability would be much easier than a demanding job. So it really depends.

 

Lastly, studying will teach you not only WHAT you are studying. It also teaches you discipline, perseverence, etc. Those are also things you need in the real world to succeed at anything.

 

Good luck!

 

 

 

[Giganthrax]

It depends on the type of work you do, obviously, but I'd say studying is harder because you aren't getting paid for all that effort + you have to study during your "free" time as well + the majority of the stuff they teach you in elementary and high school is just plain useless. With work, you're at least free during your free time.

 

That being said, you gotta get that high school diploma, so you'll just have to grit your teeth and do it. 

 

Also, don't obsess about your grades too much. Parents and teachers place an unrealistic emphasis on grades, but unless you're trying to get college/university funding for being an exemplary student, you shouldn't let that bother you. I was always an A student throughout elementary and high school (I cheated whenever I could, of course), mainly because my parents were very strict about it.

 

I've been on the workforce for 12 years now, and also spent 3 years as a freelancer, and even switched careers at one point. Not once during those 12 years did anyone ask me what my grades were like in elementary and high school. Unless you're in a very specialized school, the vast majority of those classes are just busywork. So again, just grit your teeth and get that crap out of the way, and keep learning on the side. My career change, which is the best decision I made in my life (professionally speaking), was only possible because I was always learning on the side and building other skills. 

[LogicalDrm]

-> Moved to Off Topic

***

 

Studying is bit of both. It's harder for like 20%  of the time, or anytime you need to do projects etc. that require research and some original ideas. Rest of the time you are listening and repeating.

 

Work is hard 50% of the time. Or when you hit bigger issues, make mistakes or get some project to work on.

 

School takes 6-8h per day, 5 days a week, 9-10 months of the year. Work takes 8h per day, 5 days a week for 11 months of the year (in some poorer countries even 12 months). These are based on my own experience, and may vary.

 

Benefits from school = none right now, a lot later in life. Benefits from work = money, some experiences along the way.

[Montana One-Six]

Really depends on a lot of things but to me the saying “Choose a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life” (or however that one goes) is pretty much true.

 

To me High School and University wasn't really harder but it was more annoying at times, like having to study topics I don't care about or I'm not interested in but still had to be done to get a degree.

To me working has been more enjoyable as I'm only doing what I like doing. Plus free time is actually free time and you get paid for the work you do.

 

Unfortunately Number 2 (a job you enjoy) often requires Number 1 (a degree which includes doing things you don't enjoy).

[TetraSky]

Personally, studying is harder. Because studying, you have to memorize a bunch of stuff you literally couldn't give two damn about and will promptly forget the moment the exam is over, making it even harder to retain that information. Plus, if you don't pass the final exam, then you have to redo the entire semester/year.

 

While working, it's typically always the same(or very similar) thing, repeated 8 hours a day every workday.
If you fail, eh it's ok. You learn from your mistake and move on. You can work as a team, have fun with your workmates, usually without some ahole coming and telling you you're not allowed to have fun if they know whats good for them (happy employees = employees who don't quit as often).

You get to be in a routine, it's easy to do, no need to memorize a bunch of new textbooks every 6 months anymore. (Not to mention, it's not rare for a job to basically tell you "forget everything you've learned in school, we're going to teach you how to do this job the way we want you to do it".)

 

Now that's not to say work is easy. We all have different skill sets. I wouldn't find work where I need to lift heavy objects all day long to be "easy". But it would still be just that. Lifting things up. Can't lift it anymore? Can use tools or get assistance.

Schools don't prepare you for the "real world", they just try to shove as many skillsets into a mold that doesn't fit them so they can claim "you're educated now".

Even though most people in the real world would just look up things on google or use a calculator for the most basic of math.

 

But unfortunately, school is still a requirement unless you get lucky through Nepotism and land a good paying job that you're not qualified for. See it as a way to be able to retire one day and not be stuck flipping burgers in your 80s.

[Sauron]

It really depends, and there are some huge problems with most education systems which may contribute to you struggling right now.

 

In my personal experience, work has been a bit less stressful overall; there are fewer (almost no) occasions where I might just "fail" as I could in school. I can take the time I need for projects. Not everyone is as lucky, though.

 

I find there's also some correlation between what you studied and how "hard" or stressful your job ends up being - having studied engineering I didn't really have trouble finding a decent job and I likely won't have a hard time keeping it, even if I mess up sometimes. Studying itself was also pretty hard so in comparison work isn't so bad. Your experience may vary.

[Radium_Angel]

I took the shortcut and got into gov't.

You neither have to study, or work hard. All you have to do to keep the job for the rest of your life, is not piss off your boss.

 

[IkeaGnome]

Studying. I'm working now.

[YellowJersey]

When I'm working I want to be studying. When I'm studying I want to be working. It's a vicious cycle.

[LAwLz]

I feel like you will get a lot of answers from people with strong opinions that may not be very well founded. Whenever the subject of school comes up that tends to happen.

The problems with the question are:

1) If we're talking about lower degrees of education like high school, which is all that a lot of people have, then it depends a lot on how they managed. Did they find school hard or easy? Did they find it interesting or uninteresting? Were they bullied or not?

 

2) If we're talking about higher degrees of education then what they studied matters a lot. Are we talking about some music-interested person getting a degree in music? Are we talking about someone studying for example chemical engineering? 

 

3) How do we define "hard"? Is it just how little you enjoy it? How stressful it is? How much knowledge and though process is needed to do it? Is being a first line tech support hard because you get to listen to a bunch of shit from customers, but in the end you just follow a script and don't have to think? Or is being in third line harder because you only get the difficult to solve stuff at your desk, but rarely have to interact with customers?

 

4) Which jobs are we comparing? It's hell of a difference between a cleaner who spends their time mopping floors, someone working on an oil rig, and someone working in bio-tech for example.

 

 

 

 

I had an easy time in school, at least in high school. Barely had any homework (because I was fast enough that I could finish that during the regular classes), had lots of good friends, and in general found it to be pretty easy and engaging. I had good enough grades to basically be able to pick whichever uni I wanted so I didn't have to stress over that either. 

Studying on uni was way harder than high school though, for me. For me, uni was like high school but the tasks were 5 times as difficult, and you had half the time to finish it, and in my case we had a lot more group tasks which slowed me down.

I work as a networking consultant and as a result my work weeks can be really varied. In some (very rare) cases I barely have anything to do for a week and can spend that studying for certs, or polish up some documentation or whatever. Other weeks I have to work 10+ hours overtime, constantly run into issues and it feels like I have more work to do at the end of the week at the beginning. Some jobs are very consistent, like a cashier. You show up for work, do your tasks and then when you get home you're done. Some jobs are very varied and one week is not really an indication of how the next week will be.

 

If I had to rank things, this is how I would rank them, with 1 being the hardest.

1) A though week at work.

2) A though week in university with deadlines coming up.

3) A regular week at work or a regular week at uni.

4) High school.

[Arika]

Completely depends on the job and what you're studying. 

[dragonfly43]

18 hours ago, Radium_Angel said:

I took the shortcut and got into gov't.

You neither have to study, or work hard. All you have to do to keep the job for the rest of your life, is not piss off your boss.

 

Not always true. Sometimes they kick the the whole department out, bosses included.

[King_PIN]

Self employment working 20 hour days 6-7 days a week, sometimes 2-3 days straight with no sleep and living with the stress of it all until you can make bank and relax a bit.

[shadow_ray]

What you learn in or outside school will mostly outline what will you be able to do later. It's going to be much harder to learn the basics when you are working or studying at uni or doing both.

 

In my case i haven't put too much effort into learning math during my high school years and it took quite a bit of effort to get through math classes at university, mostly due to holes in my knowledge. It shows when i have to deal with advanced math at work.

[Heliian]

Studying is easy.  The only stress is what you impose on yourself. 

 

Having a career and advancing in that career requires you to not only work but to also study at the same time.  Stresses come in the form of customers and deadlines and yourself.

 

 

[HM-2]

1 hour ago, Heliian said:

Studying is easy.  The only stress is what you impose on yourself. 

 

Having a career and advancing in that career requires you to not only work but to also study at the same time.  Stresses come in the form of customers and deadlines and yourself.

This.

 

When you're studying (at levels below postgraduate anyway) you're working within the confines of a clearly defined syllabus. You don't need to second guess what a client actually wants but doesn't explain properly, or manage the expectations of people who want the moon, on a stick, for 5p, yesterday.

 

Even in a relatively senior role you still don't have anything like the level of control over what you deliver as you do when in academic environments.

[cichington]

I'd say it all comes down to what your preference is. I studied Electrical Engineering in college which was not an easy subject.  Lot's of late nights, headaches, fun experiences, and a few breakdowns later and I made it out.  If I didn't actually enjoy studying what I was then I would have definitely had a lot harder of a time finishing. 

I am now almost a year and a half post-graduation with a job that allows me to have a very good work-life balance.  When in school, it is tougher to achieve a good work-life balance as there is usually a lot more stuff going on, and school can seem like a chore at times (in my experience).   Now that I am out of school, I don't think I ever want to go back, but I am glad I did it.  Depending on what you want to do, and the knowledge you want to obtain will determine what the best choice is for you.  You for sure get more real-world experience working but the academic resources, memories, friends, and more you get from going to school are worth it.  
 

Don't let you parents steer you in the direction they want you to go, steer yourself in the direction you want to go.  In the end they do truly want to best for you, but only you know what's the best for you.

[GDRRiley]

On 11/29/2021 at 4:50 AM, LogicalDrm said:

School takes 6-8h per day, 5 days a week, 9-10 months of the year. Work takes 8h per day, 5 days a week for 11 months of the year (in some poorer countries even 12 months). These are based on my own experience, and may vary

bit on the lighter side for hours per day. school can easily take 10-12 hours a day

 

It all comes down to what you study and what you work in. ( I can't focus on anything I don't find interesting or enjoy)

I love my work and because its interesting I've had a much easy time doing stuff for it. school (I'm in college now) for me has had classes I find interesting and those are usually pretty easy to get motivated to do work and study for. classes I find boring or pointless I've really struggled in

On 11/29/2021 at 3:24 PM, Radium_Angel said:

I took the shortcut and got into gov't.

You neither have to study, or work hard. All you have to do to keep the job for the rest of your life, is not piss off your boss.

yep as someone who is an intern for the gov and who knows quite a few people who work there.
some departments do nothing while getting paid and others work hard and get paid nothing

[Anghammarad]

I did both... study and work hard... 

 

got my diploma with best grade possible, while building up real life experience, earning money and build up a reputation in my field =)

 

 

[Jtalk4456]

On 11/29/2021 at 1:26 AM, pwarrow88 said:

So I am currently 15. I love tech since I was young and have spent countless hours researching and doing small projects. Every project was a long one full of issues after issues however, for some reason I never felt so tired as to every give up till I got the desired results. I even picked up mining 2 years ago to earn some income to further my research and just a few months ago was able to afford my first high end pc to finally do things like make a nas or run multiple vm's at onces or currently learning about Kubernetes. However, today I got one of those talk from my parents you know, the well you not gonna survive in the world if you don't study and why don't you study instead of doing your projects and of course study is easier than working. I have always been bad at studying and was just never able to sit there and focus however, I feel like one of the things that has made studying painful is just the fact that every time this subject is brought up it just feels like everyone will discounts everything I have ever done to say I am well trash for not having good grades.To be clear I have nothing against my parents nor am I angry cuz let's face it they have a point and they want nothing but the best for me. Now as for why I wrote this admittedly cringy rant about my personal issues. Well I just hope to see what others might think of this as well as if anyone older than I have a different take defending or opposing this point. Thank you for all who took the time out ot read or even comment I really appreciate it

: )

I don't want to pretend to be a psych doctor here, but i want to ask if you are ADHD. You seem project focused and have trouble focusing on other tasks, which is right in line for ADHD. I have it pretty severe myself, and for me studying is climbing mt everest while on skis, whereas working on projects is as hard as eating cake. Depending on your mind, you'll have varying difficulties with each so the answer of which is harder is not necessarily relevant here. What your parents are steering you to is a traditional path of get the paper, get the job. If you want to IT for a job, it's one of the few jobs where the degree really doesn't mean all that much. IT cares almost exclusively on experience and proving you have a skillset with certificates. This is all assuming you want to go into IT and this isn't just your fun hobby.

So we need to refocus on more relevant questions. What I'm getting (correct me if I'm wrong) is you asking if you should focus on making straight A's and going to college, or can you just do enough to get by and get into jobs another way.

1. Are you going into IT for a career?

2. Are you getting decent grades currently? Are your parents saying they want you to stop failing and not advancing or are they asking you to "apply yourself" to go from normal student to AMAZING student and get into whatever college you want?

3. Assuming 1 is yes, do you know anyone in the IT field who would talk to you and your parents as a wiser experienced job holder about what you're doing and whether it's helpful for what you plan to do?

 

General suggestions:

1. Studying: Even if you plan on never using an ounce of history class or english or science or calculus, you SHOULD put forth the basic effort to pass your classes and not get BAD grades. This is regardless of college plans or intended degree. Even if you feel you're not getting any useful info from a particular class, the curriculum is also designed to teach critical thinking, problem solving, etc.

2. College: I suggest you go if possible. Even in the IT field, they don't much care what school and what grades, but some places will auto filter out resumes without college out of habit. College is also a great experience to learn how to be more independent, getting used to living alone, self motivating, doing chores, etc. What I would NOT do is try to get into the best IT or other field school.

Start with community college, super cheap. Get your core classes done there. Check first, but most 4 year schools take most any core classes from community schools as a transfer. Depending on your location, you might have a small community school close enough to live at home for 2 years and do your core there even cheaper.

Then transfer into a 4 year for whatever degree you are aiming for. just pick the closest or cheapest in state school. Don't focus on the area or college experience or parties or any of that crap. It can be alluring, but if you're even going into a field that cares about college more than a slot on a resume, they won't give a crap if you went to the school with a great frisbee team or lots of activities.

If you're going for IT, some schools now focus their curriculum on professional certs. If you're lucky, they include getting the cert. as part of the class. This is also a great time to define where you want to be in IT. Many people come in with a very broad idea of working with computers, but there's a million ways to do that. You can use a general IT course list to try different aspects and see which one sparks your interest most.

If you feel ambitious, I recommend minoring in business, as the basic finance and management skills can apply to pretty much any other field. Heck if you're bad at personal finance and managing your life, it can help there too.

Don't take out a bunch of student loans for any of this. You can work while doing school, and if you choose the right places, this isn't hard at all. To help that or eliminate the need for working, you need to focus on scholarships. It's been a bit since I was in college, but when I was, fastweb was a great resource to find scholarships. The time before college, consider fastweb your full time job. If you can save 10K by filling out forms 8 hrs a day for a week, that's a pretty good paying job. If you really bust it, you might have enough scholarships that you're getting paid to go to school! My friend did that and came out of school with a good amount of money saved to start life. Main goal is to have no loans though. getting paid is bonus.

3. Mentor: This is especially helpful in IT, but works for any field. Find an older person working the kind of job or at least in the field you want to go into. Talk with them to get an expectation of what you're going into. This might change your mind on what you want, but at the very least, it gives you solid goals to aim for. Ask them what you need, do they have a degree? What certs do they have? How did they go about getting the job they currently have? This will give you major insight, this will ease your parents worries about you not having specific goals and just doing projects full time. And most importantly, this is an inside contact, maybe a reference if you make friends with this mentor and show them what you've been doing.

4. Back to the ADHD for a sec. If I misread that or read between lines that didn't exist and you just have general trouble with focusing on things other than computers, then just ignore this part. But if you think you might have legit troubles with focus, if studying feels like an impossible task, doing homework is a struggle to force yourself to even start, talk to someone. Get some help. You don't have to be able to force through stuff like everyone else. You aren't a freak, you aren't lazy, you aren't dumb, you're not failing to "apply yourself". You have a disadvantage mentally. That sucks, and it's hard to ask for help, but it's crucial. All the advice I gave above is stuff I DIDN'T do. I assumed I just had to take the normal path and do what everyone else was doing. If I had troubles, it was just me not being good enough, me being lazy. And here I sit with no college degree, entry level help desk job that took me almost 10 years out of college I didn't finish before I was able to pull myself up to this. I tried a bunch of jobs that didn't suit me, got fired a lot. Lost a bunch of self esteem, felt worthless a lot. I've almost overcome all that now, but it's still hard. I'm going to school online and really struggling to focus and get it done. I didn't ask for help because I didn't think I should need it, but I did need it. If you're the same or close to, you cannot shame yourself into not getting help. Trust me, it's just not worth it.

[pwarrow88]

On 12/22/2021 at 12:40 AM, Jtalk4456 said:

I don't want to pretend to be a psych doctor here, but i want to ask if you are ADHD. You seem project focused and have trouble focusing on other tasks, which is right in line for ADHD. I have it pretty severe myself, and for me studying is climbing mt everest while on skis, whereas working on projects is as hard as eating cake. Depending on your mind, you'll have varying difficulties with each so the answer of which is harder is not necessarily relevant here. What your parents are steering you to is a traditional path of get the paper, get the job. If you want to IT for a job, it's one of the few jobs where the degree really doesn't mean all that much. IT cares almost exclusively on experience and proving you have a skillset with certificates. This is all assuming you want to go into IT and this isn't just your fun hobby.

So we need to refocus on more relevant questions. What I'm getting (correct me if I'm wrong) is you asking if you should focus on making straight A's and going to college, or can you just do enough to get by and get into jobs another way.

1. Are you going into IT for a career?

2. Are you getting decent grades currently? Are your parents saying they want you to stop failing and not advancing or are they asking you to "apply yourself" to go from normal student to AMAZING student and get into whatever college you want?

3. Assuming 1 is yes, do you know anyone in the IT field who would talk to you and your parents as a wiser experienced job holder about what you're doing and whether it's helpful for what you plan to do?

 

General suggestions:

1. Studying: Even if you plan on never using an ounce of history class or english or science or calculus, you SHOULD put forth the basic effort to pass your classes and not get BAD grades. This is regardless of college plans or intended degree. Even if you feel you're not getting any useful info from a particular class, the curriculum is also designed to teach critical thinking, problem solving, etc.

2. College: I suggest you go if possible. Even in the IT field, they don't much care what school and what grades, but some places will auto filter out resumes without college out of habit. College is also a great experience to learn how to be more independent, getting used to living alone, self motivating, doing chores, etc. What I would NOT do is try to get into the best IT or other field school.

Start with community college, super cheap. Get your core classes done there. Check first, but most 4 year schools take most any core classes from community schools as a transfer. Depending on your location, you might have a small community school close enough to live at home for 2 years and do your core there even cheaper.

Then transfer into a 4 year for whatever degree you are aiming for. just pick the closest or cheapest in state school. Don't focus on the area or college experience or parties or any of that crap. It can be alluring, but if you're even going into a field that cares about college more than a slot on a resume, they won't give a crap if you went to the school with a great frisbee team or lots of activities.

If you're going for IT, some schools now focus their curriculum on professional certs. If you're lucky, they include getting the cert. as part of the class. This is also a great time to define where you want to be in IT. Many people come in with a very broad idea of working with computers, but there's a million ways to do that. You can use a general IT course list to try different aspects and see which one sparks your interest most.

If you feel ambitious, I recommend minoring in business, as the basic finance and management skills can apply to pretty much any other field. Heck if you're bad at personal finance and managing your life, it can help there too.

Don't take out a bunch of student loans for any of this. You can work while doing school, and if you choose the right places, this isn't hard at all. To help that or eliminate the need for working, you need to focus on scholarships. It's been a bit since I was in college, but when I was, fastweb was a great resource to find scholarships. The time before college, consider fastweb your full time job. If you can save 10K by filling out forms 8 hrs a day for a week, that's a pretty good paying job. If you really bust it, you might have enough scholarships that you're getting paid to go to school! My friend did that and came out of school with a good amount of money saved to start life. Main goal is to have no loans though. getting paid is bonus.

3. Mentor: This is especially helpful in IT, but works for any field. Find an older person working the kind of job or at least in the field you want to go into. Talk with them to get an expectation of what you're going into. This might change your mind on what you want, but at the very least, it gives you solid goals to aim for. Ask them what you need, do they have a degree? What certs do they have? How did they go about getting the job they currently have? This will give you major insight, this will ease your parents worries about you not having specific goals and just doing projects full time. And most importantly, this is an inside contact, maybe a reference if you make friends with this mentor and show them what you've been doing.

4. Back to the ADHD for a sec. If I misread that or read between lines that didn't exist and you just have general trouble with focusing on things other than computers, then just ignore this part. But if you think you might have legit troubles with focus, if studying feels like an impossible task, doing homework is a struggle to force yourself to even start, talk to someone. Get some help. You don't have to be able to force through stuff like everyone else. You aren't a freak, you aren't lazy, you aren't dumb, you're not failing to "apply yourself". You have a disadvantage mentally. That sucks, and it's hard to ask for help, but it's crucial. All the advice I gave above is stuff I DIDN'T do. I assumed I just had to take the normal path and do what everyone else was doing. If I had troubles, it was just me not being good enough, me being lazy. And here I sit with no college degree, entry level help desk job that took me almost 10 years out of college I didn't finish before I was able to pull myself up to this. I tried a bunch of jobs that didn't suit me, got fired a lot. Lost a bunch of self esteem, felt worthless a lot. I've almost overcome all that now, but it's still hard. I'm going to school online and really struggling to focus and get it done. I didn't ask for help because I didn't think I should need it, but I did need it. If you're the same or close to, you cannot shame yourself into not getting help. Trust me, it's just not worth it.

First of all thank you so much for taking your time to give me your advise I truly am grateful for it. I personally always seem to have issue with focusing on anything non interesting at least to me however, I so far have not speak with a specialist about my struggles besides this forum post and one other. From your reply and from reading others too I have came to realize something. Even if parent want the best for us it's only us who know what works for us. Through this I have came to the conclusion that depending of what I wish to do I will need to find one such optimal path for myself. One of the core issues I face is the lack of motivation when it comes to things non interesting however, what if I was to see it with a different light such as studying right now is not to get good grades but to enable the ability to do what I want later. It's kinda like doing a project. The prospect of achieving what we envision is what enable us to get us through the bitter grind that is in this case repeating the same experiment over and over for months at a time.

 

Perhaps I only feel it's so hard because I was always so narrow minded even tho I always knew this to be true. I guess studying for me and getting good grades is something I can careless about however regardless I will need to put in the grind one way or another to at least get what this society requires if I want that dang dream job . Haha I never  knew that this was the place I come to terms with my biggest issue for now but once again I thank you and everyone here for your time and for sharing so much of your experiences I am truly blessed to have you all to turn to thank you : )

 

 

[Jtalk4456]

19 minutes ago, pwarrow88 said:

1. I personally always seem to have issue with focusing on anything non interesting at least to me however, I so far have not speak with a specialist about my struggles 2. Even if parent want the best for us it's only us who know what works for us.

3. however, what if I was to see it with a different light such as studying right now is not to get good grades but to enable the ability to do what I want later.

1. I think that's most people, the question is the severity. Are you just bored of school topics or are you unable to force yourself through the homework or studying. Can you make the choice to do better or do you feel completely overwhelmed at just the prospect of doing the schoolwork? Again I don't want to diagnose you without being a professional and knowing you, but I also want to make sure I'm not telling you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps if you have ADHD and your bootstraps aren't there. I don't want you to feel shame or regret for not being able to do school like everyone else if that's an issue for you. I would say you've said a few things that indicate maybe having some neurodivergence. At the very least you seem to be having motivational struggles, which may be from something else or may be just being a teen. I'd say talk to someone, whether a school counselor or a specialist, just voice your concerns. Maybe you have some ADHD or other neurodivergence, idk, but maybe even if you don't, they can give you some coping mechanisms or techniques to employ when feeling low motivation. 

2. I wouldn't go so far as to say you're the ONLY one who knows what's best, but I would say you definitely need to have a voice in the conversation. Parents have a bad habit of assuming things based off what they see from other kids. Other kids are doing fine so you must be doing fine, so if you're not, maybe you're choosing to be lazy or "not apply yourself". Sometimes parents don't want to put a label on you, even if they know something is wrong. They're so worried of ridicule you'll get for being different, they forget the struggles you will have right now.

3. That's a great strategy if it works for you. Just make sure you don't box yourself into being fine and get frustrated if a technique doesn't work for you. be willing to ask help or check with someone if there's something else involved

[pwarrow88]

On 12/23/2021 at 8:46 AM, Jtalk4456 said:

1. I think that's most people, the question is the severity. Are you just bored of school topics or are you unable to force yourself through the homework or studying. Can you make the choice to do better or do you feel completely overwhelmed at just the prospect of doing the schoolwork? Again I don't want to diagnose you without being a professional and knowing you, but I also want to make sure I'm not telling you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps if you have ADHD and your bootstraps aren't there. I don't want you to feel shame or regret for not being able to do school like everyone else if that's an issue for you. I would say you've said a few things that indicate maybe having some neurodivergence. At the very least you seem to be having motivational struggles, which may be from something else or may be just being a teen. I'd say talk to someone, whether a school counselor or a specialist, just voice your concerns. Maybe you have some ADHD or other neurodivergence, idk, but maybe even if you don't, they can give you some coping mechanisms or techniques to employ when feeling low motivation. 

2. I wouldn't go so far as to say you're the ONLY one who knows what's best, but I would say you definitely need to have a voice in the conversation. Parents have a bad habit of assuming things based off what they see from other kids. Other kids are doing fine so you must be doing fine, so if you're not, maybe you're choosing to be lazy or "not apply yourself". Sometimes parents don't want to put a label on you, even if they know something is wrong. They're so worried of ridicule you'll get for being different, they forget the struggles you will have right now.

3. That's a great strategy if it works for you. Just make sure you don't box yourself into being fine and get frustrated if a technique doesn't work for you. be willing to ask help or check with someone if there's something else involved

Hi, sorry for the late reply haven't been on the forums lately. Again thank you very much for your input it's greatly appreciated as it's quite a learning experience for me. I was wondering about ADHD and was thinking to schedule a session with a specialist sometime soon in the coming months once's covid dies down. I have never been in a doctor's visit for mental health but am rather excited to see what it's like also finding out if I have anything going on will be a plus. Idk why but I am hoping to find something. I know it's a weird thing to say but, it's been a long time that I felt greatly demotivated when it comes to studying or anything that does not peak my interest. I know not having any motivation is an issue however never knew how to tackle it. In an event that ADHD is found I can start to tackle the issue or multiple issues depending on the situation.

 

Haha I guess I am a little desperate now. However with that said I suppose it's a trail an error process and it will only be a matter of time till I find out what suits me and my way of handling things. Again thank you so much for taking the time out to have a chat and I wish you a Merry christmas.

[Jtalk4456]

On 12/25/2021 at 5:10 PM, pwarrow88 said:

Hi, sorry for the late reply haven't been on the forums lately. Again thank you very much for your input it's greatly appreciated as it's quite a learning experience for me. I was wondering about ADHD and was thinking to schedule a session with a specialist sometime soon in the coming months once's covid dies down. I have never been in a doctor's visit for mental health but am rather excited to see what it's like also finding out if I have anything going on will be a plus. Idk why but I am hoping to find something. I know it's a weird thing to say but, it's been a long time that I felt greatly demotivated when it comes to studying or anything that does not peak my interest. I know not having any motivation is an issue however never knew how to tackle it. In an event that ADHD is found I can start to tackle the issue or multiple issues depending on the situation.

 

Haha I guess I am a little desperate now. However with that said I suppose it's a trail an error process and it will only be a matter of time till I find out what suits me and my way of handling things. Again thank you so much for taking the time out to have a chat and I wish you a Merry christmas.

Merry Christmas to you too! Happy to hear you're looking into the options! I definitely know the feeling of wanting answers. It feels like even if the answer is something like ADHD, that's better than just being stuck as generally unmotivated and not knowing what to do. Getting a diagnosis means getting a treatment and getting the help you need. If you're having trouble getting a time for an evaluation in the pandemic world we live in, try for a virtual appointment. Most offices are ramping up their virtual visit capabilities. Also I recommend checking out How to ADHD on youtube. Again don't self diagnose or just assume, but watch some videos about the same struggles you're having. See if it seems to fit with what you're feeling. Worst case, you can better articulate the issues you're going thru with the dr. I found that watching the videos, there were things I had trouble with that I never even realized, but she said it and I was like "yeah, that's hard for me too" I had just assumed it was hard for anyone. Learn as much as you can, find as much support as you can. And if you find yourself with an ADHD label, get yourself a bullet journal as soon as you can! It's an amazing tool if that's the kind of mind you have. And feel free to ask or even dm me if you have any issues/questions