At what age will let kids date?

[whm1974]

2 minutes ago, Saakosome said:

luckily I know these girls and there are several of them. the question seemed to be not about virginity

Whatever...

[NineEyeRon]

If the parents educate their children well enough it helps hugely, but how many parents educate their children on relationships, building trust and red flags?

[whm1974]

10 minutes ago, NineEyeRon said:

If the parents educate their children well enough it helps hugely, but how many parents educate their children on relationships, building trust and red flags?

Unfortunately for their offspring, not that many even now.

[NineEyeRon]

26 minutes ago, whm1974 said:

Unfortunately for their offspring, not that many even now.

I’m a firm believer that 90% of a child’s education happens at home, school just covers the things that parents couldn’t teach as well like maths, science, analytical thinking etc (loads of things really). Then the parents have to ready the child for everything else, the stuff the can teach as they probably figured most things out for themselves or were taught by their parents.

[whm1974]

3 minutes ago, NineEyeRon said:

I’m a firm believer that 90% of a child’s education happens at home, school just covers the things that parents couldn’t teach as well like maths, science, analytical thinking etc (loads of things really). Then the parents have to ready the child for everything else, the stuff the can teach as they probably figured most things out for themselves or were taught by their parents.

To this very Day quite a few parents are very naive about what their Precious are doing.

[NineEyeRon]

Just now, whm1974 said:

To this very Day quite a few parents are very naive about what their Precious are doing.

Parenting is hard, I mean REALLY hard, by the time they reach an age that the child is independent enough the parents are usually just in need of a rest, if the child disappears off for a few hours on a weekend the parents are just relieved they can take a break. 
 

It takes a lot to parent, it’s a 18+ year journey and I can see how parents can be ready to just let children go once they can or take the other easy way and rule with an iron fist.
 

It takes a lot of effort to keep parenting a teenager in a positive and constructive way where trust is built and maintained while teaching a child all the new things they need as a teenager. The child also needs to want to learn from the parents too, which stems from early childhood relationships a well as opening and maintaining communication pathways.

[Rym]

Can't say, never had a relationship in 24 years. Not by my own choice, just no girl likes me. I only remember how they laughed at me and said I was ugly.

 

In terms of knowledge at around 13 14 I understood how babies are made and how to prevent it.

[Gamer Schnitzel]

Thanks to media portraying love as the only goal in life kids these dates date the second you put them into a group of kids.

I have a younger brother who was 7 and I heard his friends joking about him having a girlfriend. Kids get into relationships young and then never learn to be alone which is why the second they are not in a relationship they feel lonely so what do they do? Throw themselves into any relationship they can find just so that they can say that they're in a relationship.

[whm1974]

28 minutes ago, Rym said:

Can't say, never had a relationship in 24 years. Not by my own choice, just no girl likes me. I only remember how they laughed at me and said I was ugly.

 

In terms of knowledge at around 13 14 I understood how babies are made and how to prevent it.

And the only way to get Sex is you have pay for Pay for it... Hey I don't judge you at all, as I been there, done that.

[Guest]

8 hours ago, dalekphalm said:

They do - but when properly used, birth control is very effective. Especially if overlapping contraceptive is used (eg: condom + the pill/IUD).

 

Forcing celibacy as a birth control method on teens statistically is simply not a good strategy.

 

Maybe it works for your kids - and as long as you're ensuring your kid is well educated on sexual health/education, including the effective use of contraceptives (how to put a condom on properly, for example)? Then I guess the harm is minimal.

 

But not allowing your teen child to have any romantic relationships at all is putting them at a disadvantage later in life. Maybe they'll overcome the disadvantage. But it'll still be there.

 

Now on the flip side, if they have no interest in having relationships, yeah cool - obviously you can't force that upon them.

 

But if they do, and you're banning them from having one, at best you're just alienating your kid. At worst, they're doing it anyway and you simply have no idea it's happening. In fact, when relationships and sex are banned for teens, they're the most likely to do it anyway but be less educated about it and end up with a teen pregnancy.

Which is totally why you should be educating your kid fully regarding relationships and sex so that if they do have sex (which for a teen is not quite but almost inevitable, statistically), they're doing it safely instead of, say - pulling out (or putting a condom on backwards, or using something makeshift like a plastic sandwich baggy (yes that happens, and ew) - so on and so forth).

Yeah that's an American healthcare system is broken problem. Every other civilized country doesn't have to worry about that.

In short I really agree.

They are taught well. Luckily they fully understand the consequences. That part is important.

You can teach a kid, but doesnt mean they always understand it.

 

So for example,  I share the Bill's with them. Here look. Groceries (only food) cost our family a minimum of 180$ US Weekly. 

Then add in diapers and bottles, on and on all the things a baby needs, that bill goes much higher.

Again that's just an example. 

 

It more than wearing a rubber. 

It's about teaching self control. 

 

[whm1974]

5 minutes ago, Gamer Schnitzel said:

Thanks to media portraying love as the only goal in life kids these dates date the second you put them into a group of kids.

I have a younger brother who was 7 and I heard his friends joking about him having a girlfriend. Kids get into relationships young and then never learn to be alone which is why the second they are not in a relationship they feel lonely so what do they do? Throw themselves into any relationship they can find just so that they can say that they're in a relationship.

Really sounds like a recipe for disaster if you ask me. I hope since you are his older brother you tried to talk some sense into him.

[Rym]

4 minutes ago, whm1974 said:

And the only way to get Sex is you have pay for Pay for it... Hey I don't judge you at all, as I been there, done that.

Oh you misunderstand. Indeed I am curious to sex but I never have and likely never will pay for it at all. I'm still a virgin.

[Arika]

i personally don't think parents should have any control over a child's emotions, telling someone they cannot date until they reach x age, will do 1 of 2 things, 1, make them think dating is a bad thing and then struggle in the later years because of a lack of experience, 2, make them more willing to do it behind your back because that's generally the age of rebellion in most kids.

 

I fell into the former category. i didn't end up dating anyone until i was 22 and gods was i awkward during that time.

[whm1974]

2 minutes ago, Rym said:

Oh you misunderstand. Indeed I am curious to sex but I never have and likely never pay for it at all. I'm still a virgin.

Does offering gifts for sex count as Paying for It? For your sake I hope you stay away from Incel Forums... While I could be called an Incel, I refuse to referring to myself as one due to some stuff they have done.

[Rym]

2 minutes ago, whm1974 said:

Does offering gifts for sex count as Paying for It? For your sake I hope you stay away from Incel Forums... While I could be called an Incel, I refuse to referring to myself as one due to some stuff they have done.

Yes.

 

Anything that you give with the intention of receiving back something else I consider to be a payment, only a more subtle one.

[whm1974]

2 minutes ago, Rym said:

Yes.

 

Anything that you give with the intention of receiving back something else I consider to be a payment, only a more subtle one.

Well but does it pass legal muster? As I won't get into legal trouble for picking up a Streetwalker....

[Rym]

Just now, whm1974 said:

Well but does it pass legal muster? As I won't get into legal trouble for picking up a Streetwalker....

Sorry, I don't quite understand what you're trying to say.

[Velcade]

13 hours ago, ShrimpBrime said:

Babies cost so much in health care, can you imagine the cost of Birth alone?

Owe a hospital some 35,000 US dollars just for the birth. That does not include all the extras.

This isn't really a problem if you have insurance or if you're poor.

[whm1974]

1 minute ago, Rym said:

Sorry, I don't quite understand what you're trying to say.

A woman who charges money for Sex, that you find on sidewalks and parking lots. Especially in the Red Light Districts in Large Cities.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-light_district

There are three types:

1. The Crackwhore. Who does what she is doing only due to Drug/Booze Addiction.

2. The Sex Worker. Who earns a living providing certain services, although not necessarily Coitus itself. 

3. There is no polite way to say this, The Sex Slave. Young Women forced by Others into using their bodies to make money for those who "Owned them".

[whm1974]

I hope I didn't cause offense by the last post. Please take note: If I across as being Sexist toward young women, I good reason(s) for my negative Opinion of them. Mainly due to said doing stupid ass shit they should know better then to do.

 

Maybe it is just being low income and/or the young women I come in contact with where I live.

[dalekphalm]

4 hours ago, NineEyeRon said:

I’m a firm believer that 90% of a child’s education happens at home, school just covers the things that parents couldn’t teach as well like maths, science, analytical thinking etc (loads of things really). Then the parents have to ready the child for everything else, the stuff the can teach as they probably figured most things out for themselves or were taught by their parents.

Which is precisely why sexual education - comprehensive sexual education, should be mandatory in school. Because most parents won't teach that 90% extra stuff. Or if they do, it's too little and way too late.

 

If you are a good parent and will teach your kids extensive education on birth control, condoms (and how to safely use them), how sex works (physically, how the act works, biomechanical details, etc), how menstration works, how puberty works, teach consent, teach acceptance of others, of other genders, and so on and so forth - that's awesome.

 

Most parents don't teach any of that.

3 hours ago, ShrimpBrime said:

In short I really agree.

They are taught well. Luckily they fully understand the consequences. That part is important.

You can teach a kid, but doesnt mean they always understand it.

 

So for example,  I share the Bill's with them. Here look. Groceries (only food) cost our family a minimum of 180$ US Weekly. 

Then add in diapers and bottles, on and on all the things a baby needs, that bill goes much higher.

Again that's just an example. 

 

It more than wearing a rubber. 

It's about teaching self control. 

Self control is all well and good, but realistically relying on self control to avoid pregnancies is the worst possible way to do it. It should be part of an overall foundation that includes knowledge on how to do it safely if that self control fails (which for most teens, will fail - regardless of how mature and responsible they are - teens are horny and want to fuck. Let them do it if they want, as long as they are safe).

[SolarNova]

Depends on  the individual but generally speaking the answer is 'puberty'. Once that kicks in u should let them 'date' as its the natural thing to do.

 

Obviously u do the proper parenting thing and keep an eye on things, make sure their not being taken advantage of etc etc.

[steelo]

16 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Which is precisely why sexual education - comprehensive sexual education, should be mandatory in school. Because most parents won't teach that 90% extra stuff. Or if they do, it's too little and way too late.

 

If you are a good parent and will teach your kids extensive education on birth control, condoms (and how to safely use them), how sex works (physically, how the act works, biomechanical details, etc), how menstration works, how puberty works, teach consent, teach acceptance of others, of other genders, and so on and so forth - that's awesome.

 

Most parents don't teach any of that.

Self control is all well and good, but realistically relying on self control to avoid pregnancies is the worst possible way to do it. It should be part of an overall foundation that includes knowledge on how to do it safely if that self control fails (which for most teens, will fail - regardless of how mature and responsible they are - teens are horny and want to fuck. Let them do it if they want, as long as they are safe).

Trust me, most middle schoolers know EXACTLY how the physical act of sex works. That is the 'easy' part to teach. It is vital that parents teach their children the repercussions (physical and emotional) of engaging in such activity before they are ready to accept responsibility. One can easily destroy their life (and others) with bad choices.

[Guest]

Let's face it: teen dating is kind of silly before you are able to drive. I had friends who "dated" in middle school which consisted of going to Starbucks together and having their parents drive them to a movie. I wouldn't forbid my kid from dating past the age of 13, but I'd keep an eye on them and I'd want to get to know their boyfriend/girlfriend. I wouldn't want them having sex before 18, ideally. I think a lot of the problem is that parents don't communicate with their teenage kids. They let the internet and their kid's friends handle it all, they don't take an interest in what they're doing in school, they don't ask about their relationships and they don't talk to them about sex. I think it's important for parents to do all these things. 

 

I'm 16 and I've never dated. I think my parents would be okay if I did (my older sister has and it was never a problem), but I just haven't been interested. 

 

[pythonmegapixel]

Just now, Kylan275 said:

Let's face it: teen dating is kind of silly before you are able to drive.

To be fair, that's an America problem not a teen dating problem... if you live somewhere where things aren't zoned so strictly or spread a long way apart - i.e. when you live somewhere not built for cars - then that issue simply disappears...

 

Regrettably the UK, where I live, has similar problems in some areas, though not to the same magnitude.