At what age will let kids date?

[whm1974]

Now I don't have any kids but for years I kept hearing about kids who are not even teenagers dating and sometime a bit more... For example my half brother who I met at 8, had girlfriends at that tender age... I did wonder since he had o many girls came over an call him so often if he was doing anything much farther then Playing Doctor with them...

 

Now stuff I'm hearing and reading about Precocious Puberty and Sexuallation by Media of Preteens, that if I had any daughters aged 10-12 I wouldn't let them walk out the door...

 

Seriously how old do you require you kids to be before letting them Date at all?

[piratemonkey]

I started dating when I was 14. At that age I felt mature enough to do stuff properly and not be dumb. I would bet that a 12 year old could hold a serious relationship. It all depends on maturity. But like Benji said, an 8 year old cannot fathom a sexual relationship as their brain has not yet developed

[whm1974]

9 minutes ago, Benji said:

That very much depends on the maturity of the child in question. Some children are pretty mature for being 12-13 years old, some are extremely immature and can't really be taken seriously at age 16. So it really depends. And those that claim that children are legitimately dating at age 8 are lying, at that age the brain isn't even fully developed to comprehend what romanticism and sexuality even is, so that has nothing to do with dating or romantic relationships. They won't do anything like "playing doctor" for the actual purpose of it (be that to produce offspring or to even have fun) because they can't feel that way and can't comprehend it.

Speaking for myself I was somewhat mental matured at 9 or 10 to safely handle firearms that my Stepfather left his guns unlocked around me... Of course I was properly taught first about them but now...

 

But I'm sure Sex at much younger then usual ages would be a entirely different matter... IMHO Dating at 8 is a bit young...

[whm1974]

5 minutes ago, piratemonkey said:

I started dating when I was 14. At that age I felt mature enough to do stuff properly and not be dumb. I would bet that a 12 year old could hold a serious relationship. It all depends on maturity. But like Benji said, an 8 year old cannot fathom a sexual relationship as their brain has not yet developed

Sexually Relationships at 14 isn't at all usual. Of course quite a few parents are rather naive... 

[piratemonkey]

1 minute ago, whm1974 said:

Sexually Relationships at 14 isn't at all usual. Of course quite a few parents are rather naive... 

That's not what I meant. I was saying 8 year olds can't understand it.

I really only heard of 1 or 2 kids around that age active, and that was a friend of a friend type deal. I would bet most get active around 16 or 18. That's if they do. Most will either wait till further down in a relationship or till marriage

[Tristerin]

My rule is simple - as soon as my daughter thinks she can have a boyfriend, she can, as long as she follows these rules:

 

1.) They must sign up (free, I own the gym) at my MMA gym and maintain 3 days a week training regiment.  If they can do that, she can "have a boyfriend".  

 

This will eliminate quite a few people out of the gate until she wants to date people responsible (or parents responsible) enough to maintain that quota.  Ill know their soul within a few training sessions, and if they harbor a dark soul, Ill grind them (or my students will at my discretion depending on age) until they quit or their soul changes.  If they quit, no dating.  If they change - they will make for a better person.

 

Im hoping this works lol

 

[whm1974]

9 minutes ago, piratemonkey said:

That's not what I meant. I was saying 8 year olds can't understand it.

I really only heard of 1 or 2 kids around that age active, and that was a friend of a friend type deal. I would bet most get active around 16 or 18. That's if they do. Most will either wait till further down in a relationship or till marriage

Well I'm no Child Development Expert but... I do wonder if kids at the at that  age do understand how babies are made? Come to think of it, I doubt that I even knew what Sex was during that time.

[Lii]

I would not taking suggestions by random users on the net about that, everyone can talk without knowing on what they are talking about

 

But if you do need a personal opinion, with prohibition you don't go anywhere, he/she could aswell do that without letting you know, rather than doing that, I would educate them

 

 

[pythonmegapixel]

5 minutes ago, Tristerin said:

1.) They must sign up (free, I own the gym) at my MMA gym and maintain 3 days a week training regiment.  If they can do that, she can "have a boyfriend".  

 

This will eliminate quite a few people out of the gate until she wants to date people responsible (or parents responsible) enough to maintain that quota.

Lol you've also just eliminated a bunch of people who would quite happily maintain 3 days a week of vigorous exercise but can't stand doing it indoors in a gym, a category which I know many people fall into...

[whm1974]

1 minute ago, Lii said:

I would not taking suggestions by random users on the net about that, everyone can talk without knowing on what they are talking about

 

But if you do need a personal opinion, with prohibition you don't go anywhere, he/she could aswell do that without letting you know, rather than doing that, I would educate them

 

 

Well I'm all for Educating them properly. But maybe I am biased here but I have notice that girls tend to end in bad relationships more often then boys do. 

[Velcade]

9 minutes ago, Tristerin said:

1.) They must sign up (free, I own the gym) at my MMA gym and maintain 3 days a week training regiment.  If they can do that, she can "have a boyfriend".  

"They" refers to the boyfriend or your daughter?

 

This also suggests there's no age requirement?  If she's 4 and wants a 'friend' as long as he's breaking 'bottom brick' he's good to go?

 

[whm1974]

2 minutes ago, Velcade said:

"They" refers to the boyfriend or your daughter?

 

This also suggests there's no age requirement?  If she's 4 and wants a 'friend' as long as he's breaking 'bottom brick' he's good to go?

 

I'm sure 4 year olds don't anyway other then seeing each other sans clothing.

[mahyar]

if they are even a little bit like myself 14

[Lii]

22 minutes ago, whm1974 said:

Well I'm all for Educating them properly. But maybe I am biased here but I have notice that girls tend to end in bad relationships more often then boys do. 

If you don't have any idea on what are you talking about don't listen what other random user have to say 

 

If you're really concerned about that I would ask a couple of question to your family/general doctor (many of those right now do provide online services), for sure that doesn't mean that everything that they do say is trustworthy but at least you should have a better degree of safety rather than poning trust to random users without neither having some solid foundation that can permit you to understand if what they are saying are bullshit or else

[Tristerin]

14 minutes ago, Velcade said:

"They" refers to the boyfriend or your daughter?

 

This also suggests there's no age requirement?  If she's 4 and wants a 'friend' as long as he's breaking 'bottom brick' he's good to go?

 

They, boyfriend or girlfriend

 

If my daughter approaches me and asks if she can have a relationship (at any age, I cant control everything she hears or seeks to understand), I will kindly explain the rule/s for maintaining a boyfriend/relationship in this house.  I mean, if said person could hit bottom brick, our black belts in Karate would be impressed for sure, but that wouldn't constitute finalizing our agreement - must maintain 3 days of training per week.

 

I started dating my wife, who Im more in love with to this day then when I first met her, when I was 12, been with her since (36 now)

[Tristerin]

21 minutes ago, pythonmegapixel said:

Lol you've also just eliminated a bunch of people who would quite happily maintain 3 days a week of vigorous exercise but can't stand doing it indoors in a gym, a category which I know many people fall into...

Indoors? I work out 45 minutes every day outside regardless of the weather, and 45 minutes per day indoors.  Its all up to the person.  If they want to spar outside, mats can be moved, bag stations included.  If they need to come up with a caveat of why they cant date my daughter, then they weren't in for the long haul anyhow 

[Velcade]

1 minute ago, Tristerin said:

They, boyfriend or girlfriend

Ah yes.  Gender fluidity... 2020... my bad.  Wasn't trying to push my agenda suggesting your daughter was hetero, just wasn't sure if the karate was for self defense (for your daughter) or self discipline (for the love interest). 

 

The age question was legit.  Not sure how I'd handle it currently, just have a 10mo old myself.

[piratemonkey]

30 minutes ago, whm1974 said:

Well I'm no Child Development Expert but... I do wonder if kids at the at that  age do understand how babies are made? Come to think of it, I doubt that I even knew what Sex was during that time.

They could probably understand the gist of it. Most probably couldn't understand the details, nor should they be told them.

[Tristerin]

3 minutes ago, Velcade said:

Ah yes.  Gender fluidity... 2020... my bad.  Wasn't trying to push my agenda suggesting your daughter was hetero, just wasn't sure if the karate was for self defense (for your daughter) or self discipline (for the love interest). 

 

The age question was legit.  Not sure how I'd handle it currently, just have a 10mo old myself.

Eh, I don't care if anyone sucks a peepee or not, happiness is key not gender fluidity (if they are happy, I have no place to tell them what their happiness should look like).  

 

The reasons are:

 

1.) I will know their soul very quickly.  You cant lie about anything on the mats (when it comes personality quirks.  They all rear their ugly head in moments of duress).

2.) I have full access to a student base, that should they piss me off, will knock them the fuck out on accident for me if I ask.  Plain and simple. (waivers, liability, etc cover me lol)

3.) Discipline for the person interested in my daughter.  Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is my life saver.  It helped my path to becoming someone great.

[mahyar]

44 minutes ago, Tristerin said:

My rule is simple - as soon as my daughter thinks she can have a boyfriend, she can, as long as she follows these rules:

 

1.) They must sign up (free, I own the gym) at my MMA gym and maintain 3 days a week training regiment.  If they can do that, she can "have a boyfriend".  

 

This will eliminate quite a few people out of the gate until she wants to date people responsible (or parents responsible) enough to maintain that quota.  Ill know their soul within a few training sessions, and if they harbor a dark soul, Ill grind them (or my students will at my discretion depending on age) until they quit or their soul changes.  If they quit, no dating.  If they change - they will make for a better person.

 

Im hoping this works lol

 

well your right. my parents also "limited" me in picking close friends because in me childhood i was naive (even with the standards of children) imo parents should get to know people who date their children 

[Tristerin]

2 minutes ago, mahyar said:

well your right. my parents also "limited" me in picking close friends because in me childhood i was naive (even with the standards of children) imo parents should get to know people who date their children 

I wouldn't say Im right, Id just say I have a plan and I hope it works lol.  I was such a shit head as a boy growing up, I cant fathom which shit head she will pick LOL.  (if its a dude).

 

But for the reasons you mentioned - I just want to know who they are around, more then just by name and face.

[mahyar]

4 minutes ago, Tristerin said:

I wouldn't say Im right, Id just say I have a plan and I hope it works lol.

trust me if you knew what i see here (in my country) you will definitely agree with me

[whm1974]

27 minutes ago, Lii said:

If you don't have any idea on what are you talking about don't listen what other random user have to say 

 

If you're really concerned about that I would ask a couple of question to your family/general doctor (many of those right now do provide online services), for sure that doesn't mean that everything that they do say is trustworthy but at least you should have a better degree of safety rather than poning trust to random users without neither having some solid foundation that can permit you to understand if what they are saying are bullshit or else

What makes you even think that I have no idea what I talking about? Just because I don't have any kids? I used to babysit from time to time... I have friends with children, grown now but...

[spartaman64]

im not going to forbid my kid from having a bf/gf at any point but im not going to take their relationship seriously at that age. around mid teens is when id take it seriously

[whm1974]

3 minutes ago, spartaman64 said:

im not going to forbid my kid from having a bf/gf at any point but im not going to take their relationship seriously at that age. around mid teens is when id take it seriously

I would still have "The Talk" with them about Relationships anyway.