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Stupid things teachers say

Patrick Bateman
By Patrick Bateman
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"If he asked you to jump into a road would you do it?"

"Would you like to share your joke with the class?"

 

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"Pay attention, this will be featured on the test so you have to learn it"

"We're all in this together, might as well be friends" Tom, Toonami.

 

mini eLiXiVy: my open source 65% mechanical PCB, a build log, PCB anatomy and discussing open source licenses: https://linustechtips.com/topic/1366493-elixivy-a-65-mechanical-keyboard-build-log-pcb-anatomy-and-how-i-open-sourced-this-project/

 

mini_cardboard: a 4% keyboard build log and how keyboards work: https://linustechtips.com/topic/1328547-mini_cardboard-a-4-keyboard-build-log-and-how-keyboards-work/

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"Why is my laptop not displaying to the projector? I've plugged in the wire..."

"Excuse me sir, you haven't plugged the other end into the projector."

 

Actually happened to me.

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I am not a professional. I am not an expert. I am just a smartass. Don't try and blame me if you break something when acting upon my advice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...why are you still reading this?

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"you are supposed to know this if you want to be able to do the test."

"i don't have to teach you the things you want me to teach, we will continue on my pace."

"why did you screw up the test? we discussed this in class!"

 

FFS

-Phoenix-  -VouwFabriek- -SolidNAS- 

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all your proteins are belong to us.

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I didn't really have too many teachers that said stupid things that like but I did have a teacher that insisted on calling me "Two Birds" because my first and last name happened to also be the names of birds. She also made me write it on all my worksheets and if I didn't she wouldn't accept the sheet until I changed it. It was as annoying as you think it was.

"The of and to a in is I that it for you was with on as have but be they"

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The wife is a teacher and most of the things she tells me are stupid

rofl

RIG #1 : 4670k @4.4 / 1.25v vcore. @ 4.5 / 1.3v vcore/ 1.95v vccin. MSI GAMING 4G GTX 970 @1540/3700 1.275v BIOS MOD. 16GB Kingston HyperX Savage RAM 2400mhz. MSI GAMING 5 Z97 MOBO. Fractal Design Define S. Dark Rock Pro 3. 850 EVO 250GB Seasonic M12II 620w
RIG #2: 4790k @ 4.6 / 1.25v vcore. EVGA SC ACX 2.0 980 SLI. 16GB Corsair Vengeance Pro 2400mhz. Asus MAXIMUS VII Hero Z97. Fractal Design Define R5. NH D15. 850 EVO 250GB AX 860
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"Watercooling doesnt exist, and RAM Is in the CPU"

someone srsly said that?

RIG #1 : 4670k @4.4 / 1.25v vcore. @ 4.5 / 1.3v vcore/ 1.95v vccin. MSI GAMING 4G GTX 970 @1540/3700 1.275v BIOS MOD. 16GB Kingston HyperX Savage RAM 2400mhz. MSI GAMING 5 Z97 MOBO. Fractal Design Define S. Dark Rock Pro 3. 850 EVO 250GB Seasonic M12II 620w
RIG #2: 4790k @ 4.6 / 1.25v vcore. EVGA SC ACX 2.0 980 SLI. 16GB Corsair Vengeance Pro 2400mhz. Asus MAXIMUS VII Hero Z97. Fractal Design Define R5. NH D15. 850 EVO 250GB AX 860
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"If you miss three assignments, you will get a detention."

 

90% of the teachers in my school don't bother. :P

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"Remember, you're not fooling my by cheating, you're fooling yourself!"

 

The only teachers I've heard say that are the ones that don't care about what happens to their students when they're done with school.

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woodshop teacher: *points to 11 year old Dell Optiplex... THAT COMPUTER COSTS $2000 DO NOT TOUCH THE MOUSE

 

 

Me: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Most Dell optiplexes that I have bought for work cost less than £200. They are shit boxes

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"Worst batch I've ever seen"

Intel Core i3 2100 @ 3.10GHz - Intel Stock Cooler - Zotac Geforce GT 610 2GB Synergy Edition

Intel DH61WW - Corsair® Value Select 4GBx1 DDR3 1600 MHz - Antec BP-300P PSU

WD Green 1TB - Seagate 2.5" HDD 1TB - Seagate Barracuda 500GB - Antec X1 E.

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"Class, don't you study?"

 

(You are not the only subject we are talking maam!)

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"I will do periodic checks on your homework in class throughout the year"

Then proceeds to never check your homework.

 

I think its safe to say I did less than 5% of the homework assigned to me during high school math.

 

Another one that always got me was "the homework is only a couple of questions" each of which has like 7 parts to it.

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someone srsly said that?

 

A teacher, I put what is correct on a test, got pulled back saying that I excel at computer science, and that I shouldn't bother.

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Our classroom had 24 inch monitor. Config is c2d, 1GB DDR2, 80GB hdd.

 

This happened when me and other students with our teacher going to computer lab.

 

She pointed at one monitor and said. "Oh this computer is so small. We have a big one."

 

She pointed at a Dual Socked Xeon Server rig. Most powerful in our School.

 

this happened 5 years ago.

Intel Core i3 2100 @ 3.10GHz - Intel Stock Cooler - Zotac Geforce GT 610 2GB Synergy Edition

Intel DH61WW - Corsair® Value Select 4GBx1 DDR3 1600 MHz - Antec BP-300P PSU

WD Green 1TB - Seagate 2.5" HDD 1TB - Seagate Barracuda 500GB - Antec X1 E.

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"If (smartest kid in class) can do it, why can't you?"

 

WE AREN'T ALL CHILD PRODIGIES OR ALL ABOUT JUST GRADES! WE ARE ALL UNIQUE TEACH!  :angry:

Echelon Mk 2.11 

Spoiler
  • Processor: Intel Core i5-6500
  • Cooler: Cryorig H7 (With a 120 mm Thermaltake Riing RGB)
  • Motherboard: MSI B150M Bazooka Plus
  • Memory: 16 (2x8) GB DDR4 Kingston HyperX Fury (Black)
  • Video Card: Sapphire NITRO R9 390 (Stock)
  • Storage:  1 TB Western Digital Blue
  • Power Supply: 520 W Seasonic M12II Evo (with custom extensions and cable combs)
  • Casing: NZXT S340 Elite (Matte Black)
  • Fans: 2x 120 mm & 3x 140 mm Thermaltake Riing RGB
  • Display: 22 " LG Flatron L227WTG-PF LCD (OCed to 76 Hz)
  • Keyboard: Logitech K120
  • Mouse: Logitech G402 Hyperion Fury
  • Mousepad: SteelSeries QcK
  • Operating System: Windows 10 Pro (64-bit)

 

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"Computer slow? Just turn off the cpu."

 Just because you don't care, doesn't mean other others don't. Don't be a self-centered asshole. -Thank You a PSA from the people who do not say random shit on the internet. 

 

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woodshop teacher: *points to 11 year old Dell Optiplex... THAT COMPUTER COSTS $2000 DO NOT TOUCH THE MOUSE

 

 

Me: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Oh, like my school's cameras. "DON'T BREAK THOSE THEY WILL COST YOU OVER 1 GRAND"

 

Me: *whips my phone out in front of the teacher* *finds them going for 400 bucks* "Excuse me, but even if we're talking Australian currency, you are way off. You just got rekt."

 

Meanwhile, my friend's jaw dropped and he was laughing his ass off.

Main rig on profile

VAULT - File Server

Spoiler

Intel Core i5 11400 w/ Shadow Rock LP, 2x16GB SP GAMING 3200MHz CL16, ASUS PRIME Z590-A, 2x LSI 9211-8i, Fractal Define 7, 256GB Team MP33, 3x 6TB WD Red Pro (general storage), 3x 1TB Seagate Barracuda (dumping ground), 3x 8TB WD White-Label (Plex) (all 3 arrays in their respective Windows Parity storage spaces), Corsair RM750x, Windows 11 Education

Sleeper HP Pavilion A6137C

Spoiler

Intel Core i7 6700K @ 4.4GHz, 4x8GB G.SKILL Ares 1800MHz CL10, ASUS Z170M-E D3, 128GB Team MP33, 1TB Seagate Barracuda, 320GB Samsung Spinpoint (for video capture), MSI GTX 970 100ME, EVGA 650G1, Windows 10 Pro

Mac Mini (Late 2020)

Spoiler

Apple M1, 8GB RAM, 256GB, macOS Sonoma

Consoles: Softmodded 1.4 Xbox w/ 500GB HDD, Xbox 360 Elite 120GB Falcon, XB1X w/2TB MX500, Xbox Series X, PS1 1001, PS2 Slim 70000 w/ FreeMcBoot, PS4 Pro 7015B 1TB (retired), PS5 Digital, Nintendo Switch OLED, Nintendo Wii RVL-001 (black)

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