Stupid things teachers say

[TheGeeker]

"These plastic desk stands cost 80$ do not break them. Quickly search on the internet finds them for 11.99. Then gets yelled at in font of class.

[byalexandr]

>teacher has a master's in statistical calculus

>gives us the final exam

>this is really easy guys

>FML

[Sithhy]

Not really a stupid thing (or is it?) but 5 years ago, we got out biology teacher mad & to one of the girls from my class she said "I gonna be a mean bitch & gonna write you this bad note"

We all had a poker face after that... [emoji1]

[Nineshadow]

It's not really a thing they say, but literally all Physics teachers I've met have a gesture for when you do something which could have been done way easier. They scratch the opposing cheek with the opposing arm , which is quite cumbersome when you could use the arm on the side of the cheek. I don't know how else I could explain it...here are my fantastic paint skills at work:

 

It's not stupid, it's actually a pretty good analogy , but it's really weird how all the Physics teachers I've met do this.

[The Official Czex]

"You'll use these skills in your future!"

 

"I don't think college level calculus is something I'll use while producing music..."

 

"Well, you'll need it in college!"

 

Thanks.

 

>gets to college

>asks professor how i'll utilize my kickass calculus

>he says i won't

[Citadelen]

"Oh it's only a small essay"

pls help

[Ryoutarou97]

"This won't affect your grade much"

It did.

"You should do this at home"

I didn't.

[Shoob]

"It's ok if you don't use Matlab to simulate the circuit you've made - it won't really affect your score."

I got only half of the points thanks to that.

 

"You should do all exercises from the textbook, otherwise you won't pass with a good grade"

[Coaxialgamer]

" you all need to wake up and realise that, the way you are going, you wont have any choices left in life ( french school system is based around failure and punishing students for it rather than sucess and reward)"

Meanwhile, the school got a 100% success rate for the end of year exams to enter high school ( the useless and pointless "brevet")

[SIGSEGV]

"You can use but can't modify the pictures on the school website because they're open source"

"an if loop"

[Coaxialgamer]

"IT" teacher : my computer is slow!

Browses through windows 8 ( yes, 8.0 with metro ui) , to reveal literally hundreds of running apps on a pc that has like 2gb of ram and a low power pentium

[Shoob]

*does something slightly better*

 

"I wanted you to do it my way." - 0 points

[Admiral Naismith]

"This assignment only should take you 20 minutes if you know the material."

 

"I've never had a student mess up these experiments."

 

"You have a lighter work load this week."

 

"I'm working with the other teachers to make sure you don't have multiple Unit Tests on one day or something" - Teachers seriously said this. Three weeks later I had 5 unit tests in two days.

 

"It's only a review assignment, it shouldn't take you long" <- longer and harder than the test.

 

"You'll meet a lot of cool people in robotics class" <- The only time I could ever say I was bullied was in that class... What a bunch of f*cking neanderthals and waists of oxygen... I got along better with the football team, and I don't like football. Yes I'm salty.

[RustyZombie]

Some middle schoolers pooped on the floor in their bathroom.  The principal gets only the high school guys together in the gym and tells us he's going to put cheerios in all the toilets and urinals and put up signs that say "aim for the cheerio". 

[Vivilacqua1]

Math teacher- "Joe, do you understand this?"

Me- "yes"

Me in my head- "wat is this bs"