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Dumbest Tech Questions/Quotes You've Ever Heard

NInety
By NInety
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Posted

Maybe you shouldn't have DIAL UP internet in 2015 :P

if you missread:

it broke my computer, not my connection.

my computer shat its pants

and crashed google chrome

but it loaded instantly

OFF TOPIC: I suggest every poll from now on to have "**CK EA" option instead of "Other"

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Me:  What computer do you have?

 

Friend: A gaming computer!

 

Me: *Facepalm*

System:
CPU: I7-3610QM @ 2.3 GHz | Motherboard: something with chips | RAM: 8 Gb of something | GPU: AMD HD 7600M | Case: Something made out of plastic | Storage: Toshiba MQ01ABD075 750GB | PSU: something external | Display(s): something glowing | Cooling: jet engine | Keyboard: hama something | Mouse: Logitech something | Sound: Traktor Kontrol S2 as soundcard, AKG K500 Headphones | Operating System: Windoof 10

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He comes back, I look over, and my jaw just about falls off my face. My cousin, who I aspired to be like in techie-ness, has a ziploc bag around his hand.

 

"What are you doing?"

"applying thermal paste."

"you're not going to spread it around, are you?"

"Yeah."

I just about flew out of my chair to stop him from doing the horrible deed of spreading the thermal compound around the CPU,

 

Ok spreading out the TP, before the heat sink does it itself , is perhaps not the best move , but "horrible", 'flying out of your chair' and 'jaw dropping' strikes me as a bit of an over reaction.  If the temps are affected a noticeable amount I would hazard you have problems beyond any slight possible bubbling.

 Two motoes to live by   "Sometimes there are no shortcuts"

                                           "This too shall pass"

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 Well he doesn't.

First desktop computer I used (a Comodore PET) did not have a hard drive, it loaded BASIC (Basic BASIC not Qbasic or Visual or anything like that) from a cassette tape drive at boot up.

 

True, as a young generation who hasnt used anything else and started on win 98 this would be classed as a stupid question to me as we have known nothing different, however this was last year, not 1977. 

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"The more used space on the hard drive the more it slows down the computer!"

- CPU: Intel i7 3770 - GPU: MSI R9 390 - RAM: 16GB of DDR3 - SSD: Crucial BX100 - HDD: Seagate Barracuda 1TB -

 

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True, as a young generation who hasnt used anything else and started on win 98 this would be classed as a stupid question to me as we have known nothing different, however this was last year, not 1977. 

 

I was still at school in 1977 (Liberton High School) TY ;) . 

This was (very early) 80s when I was doing my degree.

 

 

Oh and you still don't need one.

I have run "live" linux distros direct from the optical drive (have them set as the boot device in the BIOS [well CMOS] ). They do not use the hard drive at all.

Whilst life is greatly simplified (you can use 'big' programs, and have swap/paging files) having all your programs etc in a storage system (usually some sort of HDD [or increasinglySSD]),  it is NOT strictly necessary.

 Two motoes to live by   "Sometimes there are no shortcuts"

                                           "This too shall pass"

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Have people never heardof the test that have been done with jetfighter pilots?

They were sown an image at a 1/240 of a second (240 that is but only for one frame) and the freaking pilots were supposed to tell the jets model and arms.

And you know what you "eyes-can't-see-above-30-or-whatever-fps-guys": the freaking DID IT!! They did it now problem.

whats the test exactly called?
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"The more used space on the hard drive the more it slows down the computer!"

As weird as it may sound, that is actually what happens when you have a filled hard drive. If you have a block of data at the beginning of the drive, because the RPM is the same throughout the radius of the platter, and because the data density is basically constant, the bits fly faster past the read/write head on the outside of the drive than on the inside of the drive. There's also the matter that if a block of data is on a partition at the beginning of the drive, the read head has much less distance to travel to read different blocks of data on the platter, speeding up operations on the outside of the platter, and having the speeds slowly drop out as the head goes towards the center of the platter.

And don't just take it from me, Wendell from Tek Syndicate did a little explanation on this.

 

So while that quote isn't entirely correct (it's a lot more complicated than that), it isn't completely wrong either.

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-snip-

My dad had always yelled at me to delete my 'viruses' off the computer soon as it goes near 60%-70% full... that sorta thing.

- CPU: Intel i7 3770 - GPU: MSI R9 390 - RAM: 16GB of DDR3 - SSD: Crucial BX100 - HDD: Seagate Barracuda 1TB -

 

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My Mom would call me up and asked where she 'downloaded' her photos.

How the hell am I supposed to search her HD over the phone?

 

There is nothing worse than being phone tech support for a 70 year old.

Thank God she bouught an iMac.

"Sorry Mom. I know know Apple. Call 1-800-AppleCare. Luv Ya, Bye."

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"Windows XP is the best operating system ever made"

It was certainly not bad.

http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/334934-unofficial-ltt-beginners-guide/ (by Minibois) and a few things that will make our community interaction more pleasent:
1. FOLLOW your own topics                                                                                2.Try to QUOTE people so we can read through things easier
3.Use PCPARTPICKER.COM - easy and most importantly approved here        4.Mark your topics SOLVED if they are                                Don't change a running system

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"The more used space on the hard drive the more it slows down the computer!"

Well this is kind of correct, isnt it?

http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/334934-unofficial-ltt-beginners-guide/ (by Minibois) and a few things that will make our community interaction more pleasent:
1. FOLLOW your own topics                                                                                2.Try to QUOTE people so we can read through things easier
3.Use PCPARTPICKER.COM - easy and most importantly approved here        4.Mark your topics SOLVED if they are                                Don't change a running system

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whats the test exactly called?

I have NO idea. i just heard of it from some guy. I swear i didn't make this up

http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/334934-unofficial-ltt-beginners-guide/ (by Minibois) and a few things that will make our community interaction more pleasent:
1. FOLLOW your own topics                                                                                2.Try to QUOTE people so we can read through things easier
3.Use PCPARTPICKER.COM - easy and most importantly approved here        4.Mark your topics SOLVED if they are                                Don't change a running system

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How to overclock psu

CPU - FX-8350 / GPU - r9 390 / RAM - 16GB Corsair Vengeance / Storage - Samsung Evo 256GB SSD + 1TB HDD / Case - Fractal Design R5 / PSU - Corsair HX750i / MOBO - ASRock Extreme4

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Well this is kind of correct, isnt it?

Did you not read my second post?

- CPU: Intel i7 3770 - GPU: MSI R9 390 - RAM: 16GB of DDR3 - SSD: Crucial BX100 - HDD: Seagate Barracuda 1TB -

 

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The most recent, and possibly the dumbest tech-related quote I have ever heard is this.

"Yeah."

Let me explain:

 

I have this cousin, he's about 6 or 7 years older than me. He was my technology guru for most of my techie life. He has the massive computer in the massive tower, with massive monitors everywhere. He was my example to follow, and I wanted to be just like him. Until a month ago. I was around his house, and he was fixing a computer that was overheating like crazy all the time. It was a pretty beefy stock cooler, one that had a couple of heatpipes. I was interested in sort of tagging along and possibly hinting at the gobs of tech experience I'd gained since we last saw each other. He got rid of all the dust in the heatsink and went to replace the thermal paste. I was sitting down in a sofa while he got some thermal paste from his car.

He comes back, I look over, and my jaw just about falls off my face. My cousin, who I aspired to be like in techie-ness, has a ziploc bag around his hand.

 

"What are you doing?"

"applying thermal paste."

"you're not going to spread it around, are you?"

"Yeah."

I just about flew out of my chair to stop him from doing the horrible deed of spreading the thermal compound around the CPU, explained to him why it was a bad idea, that it wasn't freaking spackle, and basically took over the job of reapplying the thermal paste. The computer ran fine after that, and when I think back to that moment, I think one thing:

" I AM THE MASTER NOW..."

 

I used to be a big advocate of not spreading the TIM. You know what I've come to realize? If it's spread properly and you don't use too much, it doesn't really matter. Especially on a CPU where we have the cap over the CPU and the die isn't in direct contact with the cooler. 

 

For GPU's I apply a small dab in the center of the die and carefully spread out the TIM with a piece of plastic (like an old credit card) until I have a thin, uniform layer of TIM covering the whole die (I'm talking a very thin layer). Why do I do this with GPU's? because if you just put a dab in the center, you have to rely on pressure from the block to spread it out completely, and if you didn't apply enough, it will not cover the whole die. I've seen it before where a part of the die (like a corner or two) was not actually in contact with the cooler because of this and it caused higher than normal temps. Since changing my method, I get perfect coverage and contact with no air pockets or bubbles. 

 

With CPU's I still only apply a dab in the center and don't bother spreading it, but again, for CPU's it doesn't really matter if a corner of the lid of the CPU doesn't make contact as long as the majority of the portion covering where the CPU is is in contact, you're good to go. 

My Systems:

Main - Work + Gaming:

Spoiler

Woodland Raven: Ryzen 2700X // AMD Wraith RGB // Asus Prime X570-P // G.Skill 2x 8GB 3600MHz DDR4 // Radeon RX Vega 56 // Crucial P1 NVMe 1TB M.2 SSD // Deepcool DQ650-M // chassis build in progress // Windows 10 // Thrustmaster TMX + G27 pedals & shifter

F@H Rig:

Spoiler

FX-8350 // Deepcool Neptwin // MSI 970 Gaming // AData 2x 4GB 1600 DDR3 // 2x Gigabyte RX-570 4G's // Samsung 840 120GB SSD // Cooler Master V650 // Windows 10

 

HTPC:

Spoiler

SNES PC (HTPC): i3-4150 @3.5 // Gigabyte GA-H87N-Wifi // G.Skill 2x 4GB DDR3 1600 // Asus Dual GTX 1050Ti 4GB OC // AData SP600 128GB SSD // Pico 160XT PSU // Custom SNES Enclosure // 55" LG LED 1080p TV  // Logitech wireless touchpad-keyboard // Windows 10 // Build Log

Laptops:

Spoiler

MY DAILY: Lenovo ThinkPad T410 // 14" 1440x900 // i5-540M 2.5GHz Dual-Core HT // Intel HD iGPU + Quadro NVS 3100M 512MB dGPU // 2x4GB DDR3L 1066 // Mushkin Triactor 480GB SSD // Windows 10

 

WIFE'S: Dell Latitude E5450 // 14" 1366x768 // i5-5300U 2.3GHz Dual-Core HT // Intel HD5500 // 2x4GB RAM DDR3L 1600 // 500GB 7200 HDD // Linux Mint 19.3 Cinnamon

 

EXPERIMENTAL: Pinebook // 11.6" 1080p // Manjaro KDE (ARM)

NAS:

Spoiler

Home NAS: Pentium G4400 @3.3 // Gigabyte GA-Z170-HD3 // 2x 4GB DDR4 2400 // Intel HD Graphics // Kingston A400 120GB SSD // 3x Seagate Barracuda 2TB 7200 HDDs in RAID-Z // Cooler Master Silent Pro M 1000w PSU // Antec Performance Plus 1080AMG // FreeNAS OS

 

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