[SATIRE] A new operating system aims to rid the tech world of its toxic misogyny and patriarchy

[Guest]

EDIT, mod team:

Since this is smelling like super material for a flamewar, added a satire tag to the title.

Also, see this article for a bit of context:

http://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2015/01/toleranux-satirical-linux-fork-mocks-calls-for-open-source-diversity/

/EDIT, mod team

---

Feminist Software Foundation has reacted to Linus Torvald's recent statements about how he doesn't care about niceness or promotion of diversity in the open source community.

They have taken upon themselves to create a more nice, safe and open open-source community by making their own version of the Linux operating system.

 

The endeavour is not just a gimmick - it is an ambitious project ot make the most secure operating system out there.

To this end ToleranUX shall implement an environment where administrative priviliges are strictly prohibited.

Gone is the superuser — all users are now equal in privilege. In traditional systems this manoeuvre would cause

mayhem as there will be no protection against malicious users abusing their power and privileges. To combat this,

ToleranUX implements a pan-kernel daemon that checks the privilege of every user during every kernel tick

to ensure that no privilege abuse is done. In fact, the only operation that a user can do with their privilege is to check it,

ensuring that no societal power abuse can ever be possible. By implementing this Truly Equal environment, we also have an added bonus:

Privilige Esclation is no longer possible, rendering ToleranUX a Truly Secure OS.

 

It also aims to implement a new revolutionary filesystem.

Directories imply hierarchy — there will be no directories in FEMFS. Instead, a "tag based" file "pool" is instated where all files co-exist in the same level of privilege.In other words, "Everything is a File, and every File is in a semantic filesystem"

Certain metadata of files will be scrutinised by FEMSF to ensure that the Semantic Pool is sufficiently inclusive:

• Reported filesize shall change depending on context. Average users are inherently biased towards smaller filesizes, and the unhealthy and misogynistic pursuit of the ever-shaming "conserving space" ideal is toxic to the well-being of individual files who have no control over their filesizes. Users attempting to ls -S will be punished by having their user session kicked by the OOM (Obesity Oppression Mercy-killer).

• Filetypes are passé. Who are we to affix the magic number label to files when they are created and claim that they are so for their lifespan in our computers? A .png file may identify as a .epub file for all its merits. It is simply not right to categorise. Shall a user complain that he/she/xe cannot open a file because he/she/xe expects a certain format, (e.g. trying to parse a LaTeX-identifying DOCX with vim and failing,) the kernel reduces the allocated processing power to the user by half.

• Out with the Traditional UNIX permissions of Read, Write and Execute. These permissions are arbitrarily enforced privileges. A program should be able to run, read, and write wherever and whenever it wants to.

Edited January 17, 2015 by alpenwasser

[Sumsar]

This is retarded.

Edit: Found out that this is a joke... I am fucking stupid.

[SuperPug]

This is fucking hillarious. Great satire... It is satire right?

[SirRoderick]

I would like  to say, reading through that had me laughing far too much.

[lutewan]

wtf is this real?

i guess files have rights now  ok sure

[Misanthrope]

I rather fucking install Windows ME

[Sauron]

 

To this end ToleranUX shall implement an environment where administrative priviliges are strictly prohibited.

Gone is the superuser — all users are now equal in privilege.

 

Directories imply hierarchy — there will be no directories in FEMFS. Instead, a "tag based" file "pool" is instated where all files co-exist in the same level of privilege.In other words, "Everything is a File, and every File is in a semantic filesystem"

 

WTF did I just read. This right here, is the dumbest, least functional, most mentally impaired design philosophy for an operating system I have EVER seen.

 

WHO THE FUCK cares about FOLDERS having a hierarchy?

 

-edit-

Fortunately this is a joke. The point still stands though; an os with that kind of design is terrible.

[Sauron]

A Linux without Linus Torvalds is a better community. 

 

Nope, it's a dead linux.

[SIGSEGV]

In new content this post's title says "A new operating system aims to rid the tech world of..."

I'm disappointed, I was wishing for some kind of Unix+Windows mix, instead we have this crap

[othertomperson]

Uh... all of that just sounds like DOS. Like it just sounds like a description of how Windows 98 works

 

I'm going to go out on a limb here and call it a parody. You have to be pretty gullible to take this at face value. Even if it turns out to be true, not to research the validity of this before accepting is unbelievably dumb.

 

Edit: oh speaking of look what the first result if you Google this is!

 

http://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2015/01/toleranux-satirical-linux-fork-mocks-calls-for-open-source-diversity/

 

You guys are worse than tumblr, seriously.

[Misanthrope]

WTF did I just read. This right here, is the dumbest, least functional, most mentally impaired design philosophy for an operating system I have EVER seen.

 

WHO THE FUCK cares about FOLDERS having a hierarchy?

 

You just say that because you're clearly a sysadmin and because you're a male, a rapist patriarch!*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Obligatory "I'm joking" disclaimer in case someone without a sense of humor decides to report me

[Laputacake]

sudo go away

[Sauron]

you're clearly a sysadmin and because you're a male

 

Touchè ^^

[Sauron]

Sorry, repost. Nice personal input though, maybe post it in the previous thread?

[SIGSEGV]

This is going to be so hilariously insecure... The guys at DefCon are going to have a blast with this

[Sauron]

Maybe, maybe not. Why not make me the OP because my news post is better...?

 

that's not quite how it works my friend ^^

[flibberdipper]

sudo install go-fuck-yourself.deb

[sudo] password for afroman: *******************

 

I know that in a real terminal you don't see the ***'s, but whatever.

[Trik'Stari]

[SIGSEGV]

sudo install go-fuck-yourself.deb

[sudo] password for Afroman: *******************

 

I know that in a real terminal you don't see the ***'s, but whatever.

All input must be treated equally, you can't have some letters be forced not to display, that's oppressive

[/sarcasm]

[Misanthrope]

What has feminism got to do with operating systems?

 

Feminism or just plain fucked in the head?

 

Let's just not intrude on their right to create the most batshit insanely insecure piece of shit OS ever made and then just turn some script kids from Lizardsquad lose on them.

[Guest]

 take a journey into the mind of the SJW as we explore their GitHub page

 

You mean to say that you read through the whole thing and still didn't realize it's satire?

I mean it's really spot on satire and good satire should be hard to distinguish from the real thing, but come on... 'the only operation that a user can do with their privilege is to check it'.

[Master Disaster]

A feminist operating system, does that mean it will claim equality while simultaneously saying it can't do things because they're man jobs, scream when you leave the toilet seat up and take all your money to buy stupid things that it doesn't need?

Satire ftw

[Trik'Stari]

Let's just not intrude on their right to create the most batshit insanely insecure piece of shit OS ever made and then just turn some script kids from Lizardsquad lose on them.

Best idea ever.

 

#LizardSquad GO!

[Goussy]

Is there logo a poorly drawn snapchat logo?

[Misanthrope]

A feminist operating system, does that mean it will claim equality while simultaneously saying it can't do things because they're man jobs, scream when you leave the toilet seat up and take all your money to buy stupid things that it doesn't need?

Satire ftw

No man allowed, sorry Linux users I guess you'll have to do without any man files and just figure shit out without help files, because they don't need your help you pig!