[GIVEAWAY] Battlefield 4 - Tell me a story.

[Fred Castellum]

That's the second story you've written on this forum involving an asshole woman irrationally accusing you of being a thief!!

 

Very well written story BTW I did enjoy that.

*sigh* such is life. 

[Askew]

madness

 

What the fuck did I just read? Was any of this true or are you just saying you copied it from Reddit?

[RainbowPee]

What the fuck did I just read? Was any of this true or are you just saying you copied it from Reddit?

That's for you to decide.

[Fred Castellum]

-snip-

What the hell.... that's scary man.... 

[Askew]

That's for you to decide.

 

[APrettyCoolWalrus]

It was a dusty day on de_dust2.

Me and my mate vs a team of 1+2x2.

Heading towards window of B.

And then I hear a smoke heading towards me!

Bing, bang! My mate gets Deagle'd!

 

I was screaming so much and my legs were feeble.

With my Ultraviolet SG 553 in hand

I put my shots to the window AWPer, and that's where they land.

Oh shit one at B doors!

3 bullets come running at his chest like boars.

Quick 360 towards CT spawn.

Boom, boom, and I was thinking about that play 'til dawn.

 

Of course this story can't end in such a great way

Sadly there was another CT by boxes that day.

With a quick swipe of the hand

And a quick "click click click" the bullets shall land

Right in my face

Good feelings from my friends, talking about my grace.

 

Ta-da! 

[thekeemo]

this isn't the craziest story in the world  but I really don't have the high school partying experience so here it is:

 

So i'm a bit late to the bus on my way home and I don't see the bus anywhere so I walk to the end of the street and see the bus that would've taken me to the sub directly pass right by me, but I say to myself that's its not that bad and some of my friends go with me but I doze off anyway and they don't know my stop and I miss it, but I say to myself its not too bad there's a bus at another stop that's 2 stops over.

 

I get there and one of my friends that's a walking distance away stays with me for some odd reason and I call the number that tells me when the next bus is arriving in 30 minutes .. I wait 40 and decide to walk home its about 2.5 km away.. not too bad I say so I start walking and cross the street and my bus passes me.. DAMN. but I have no choice but to keep walking. I walk about halfway and another bus passes me and i'm midway between 2 stops each of which are 50 meters from me ... arrrghh. Anyway my friend is still with me, we walk the same way. and then a another bus passes me and another. of course my friend eventually takes another course (see what I did there)*. I finally get home over an hour late and a friend calls me that takes the bus and asks me why I left before the bus came and I find out that the bus arrived no more than a minute after I left. And oh did I mention that I had a crap load of homework and a test the next day... patience truly is a virtue. one minute caused over an hours worth of time wasted and a bad grade and my parents do NOT I repeat DO NOT accept anything below 95%. so no time for a job aka no time to get money aka I cant afford anything.

[Jerakl]

Ok I have a story about a dream I had while in high school.

One time I went somewhere in the mountains with my 3 friends and a couple of the characters from Frozen. Then the North Korea mercenary group took over wherever we were. So we went and hid in a facility that had the layout of my church basement. Then Anna got kidnapped because she did something stupid. So they took Anna to execute her in this snowwy valley. So one of my friends, kristoff and elsa went to rescue her. For some reason elsa was using a sniper rifle despite her having ice powers. Me and my other friends spent our time making dynamite when a giant armoured tank, much like the ones in the metro games, bashed through the front of the structure built into the mountain and thundered through the main hallway, destroying all the walls in the process. Now you may ask, what happened to Elsa, Kristoff and my friend? Well they rescued Anna killing most of guards in the process.

Once they got back and walked through the wreckage of our building they walked over to the secret room under the stairs where they knew we would've hid. However, we still had all the bombs we made. So we decided to take the fight to the enemy. Once night fell we stealthily crawled up the hill by their base, which they seized from the community. Not to mention they held everyone else hostage in the front yard. So we took the bombs we made and sated the crap out of their base (Except where the hostages were). And then everyone lived happily ever after.

I typed this on an iPod. The pain, it took my like 20 minutes.

100% real, this was an actual dream I had.

[helping]

Relatively tame story about laundering work loads, but very long, sorry no sex or violence here. I could post something a bit more exciting if anybody wanted, but you'll probably be tired of reading my posts after this. Too long, didn't proofread for grammar, deal with it.

In 11th grade I was in AP US history, we had this project for our mid-term and final where we would basically come up with approximately 500 terms (more or less depending on quality and importance) which we personally thought were important. We would come up with 500 terms (dates, events, people etc.) which would define and give their historical importance. Mind you some of these projects could come up to nearly 40 pages,

I dicked around too much and tried to pull it off in like two or three days and ended up with somewhere in the 300's for my midterm, ended up getting a D, but I had enough grade cushion so that it wasn't the end of the world.

That definitely taught me my lesson, for the second (final) 500 term version at the end of the year, I schemed with two other friends and we decided to share the work, starting a month in advance rather than a few days.

I can still remember clearly how we planned this out, the planning was beautiful, the execution was terribad. Since we had to meet approximately 500, we cut our first corner at term count and dropped it to approximately 450. I came out to 423 terms, but dropped 3 at the end for 420blazeit terms, I legit had my last one numbered 420blazeit and broke the rules (2nd 500 term set was supposed to be approx. post 1st Industrial revolution) by making 420th term Washington by some roundabout explanation because our hombre Washington is ALWAYS relevant.

He gave me an extra point for that.

Anyway, with ~450 terms decided, because this was a major project we had to guard our asses.

 

We did three separate pools where we kept 250 of the more common terms and kept those as completely communal and borrowed terms from other people and let others borrow those (the idea behind this is all three of us were in different periods of the same class, so we could disseminate some of the same information to lower suspicion and keep the focus elsewhere. This basically counts on the fact that our friends and friends of friends are lazy, so when a lot of kids have very similar looking terms it make us look less suspicious by virtue of making everyone else look bad. It's also very difficult to trace back a source of effective "telephoned" terms, also hard to give any punitive measures to 3 out of 6 classes, assuming it didn't spread (lel, it did). It also incurred a benefit here by allowing us to game the system since our teacher required us to submit a digital and physical copy to check for plagiarism. It was a pretty advanced system, so that led to a much wilder variance in plagiarized % work (a certain threshold is acceptable, because it's not possible to do this project without any being detected) and raised the threshold for acceptable plagiarism throughout the entire participating body and letting us stand out a bit less (i.e. 5% vs 15% and 10% vs 20%)

 

Yes, it was somewhat backhanded and cunty, but I didn't tell either of my friends anything from the previous paragraph, I just suggested that we borrow some terms and that it's fine if other people use them. I was pretty proud because we could be lazy and I thought it through enough to keep us safe (albeit in a pretty destructive way)

 

Out of that ~250 common pool, we decided to take 100 each and rephrase them slightly. We each pitched in a bit more than 50 and borrowed the rest. That brought us to 450-100 = 350 required once common pool was added. From there we did 150 unique terms each, that gave each one of us a grand total of 100+150 = 250, so 200 terms left to do, and a pool of 300 (unique terms were still shared, you keep your original 150 unique and take from the other's 150*2 unique to rephrase). The way this part worked is we took each others' unique terms (picked 200 each from a pool of 300 for redundancy/safety) and completely (unique sentence structure and word choice) rephrased it because rephrasing 200 terms is much, much easier than doing 200 complete terms.

 

That's it. 200 terms of "true" work, 50 free communal terms, and 200 terms to rephrase. Overall I would consider that a big success from 500 unique laborious terms. I consider this my greatest charade, though it was literal HELL to organize, and we still ended up coming down to the wire.

 

We finished everything except the rehashing part two days before the deadline, this part isn't particularly hard but it is very time consuming.

I got both to come over and we did a rephrase party. We had another friend who decided to third wheel and derail everything. So that was practically an entire afternoon down the toilet. If you care to know what day it was, check what Asa fucking Akira's (one of my friends has yellow fever) birthday was in 2011. Yes, we got that far off topic Asa Akira came up and it just happened to be her birthday. To make matters worse, we ordered pizza. Bad idea. Greasy heavy food is terrible for staying awake and getting work done, lesson learned.

 

Last day with time running very short, I finished all my work at about 10 AM, my class was at 1 PM, so I took a nap until 12 and yolo'd my way to class just shy of 1 PM (In U.S. [FL] school system, if you're 5 minutes late, you might as well be 5 hours late amirite? Late goes down as late because there is only Tardy/Absent/Present, no "wtf really late" option.) Feeling pretty good.

 

We met up after school, I knew one of my friends got all his work done so there was no problem there but the other one is a complete fucking dingus and fell asleep after being incredibly lazy about his work. Basically never got around to rephrasing the 200 other terms (he didn't even finish the initial 100 communal terms) so he has 200+ terms completely plagarized. That's going to completely SHAFT me and my non-lazy yellow fever friend. To make matters worse he tried to hide it like an idiot and changed all possible interchangeable letters to omicrons (didn't work, software converted to Latin)

 

The only silver lining here was that me and the other guy submitted it and had our work processed earlier, I came out under 20% as did the other guy, most were ballparking 5~15% so not really that suspicious. His was an incredible high 50's plagiarism rate and if he was investigated it would definitely come back to us, and we're talking dead serious levels of academic misconduct here.

 

Name calling, a few profanities, and an existential crisis later it worked out to fictional levels of irony. I kid you not if this was a movie I would give it a really shitty review. I got a high C, one friend got a low C, and the dork that ripped the work got a 90. Yea. Literally half of his work is ours and his unique terms were of identical quality. I don't even..

 

He's not dumb at all, but does some of the dumbest things of anyone I know. The teacher also knows his record (as not dumb) and was cool with him. I understand that the teacher can't look through all of these and I hold nothing against him (still cool with him), but seriously now. I'm not complaining, but I still have no idea how that high of a plagiarism rate raised no flags, but I'm not complaining since that would have raped me.

 

 

Moral of story/TL;DR cheating definitely works and is worth it, but you'll never be able to contest your grade.

I'll put a spoiler cause it's quite a long story.

So, last day I went to a very close family friend and I stood there(parents were away at a party).We went out,had a drink and looked at the Roland Gaross women finale(damn,Simona lost ;_; ).Anyway,he also brought another good friend of his with us.

After the tennis match had ended, they remember they forgot to do something : they had to write by hand all the courses at uni (they wrote them on their laptops, you know, in Word) because they have a really weird teacher who fails all students who don't do that.So,they now had to re-write all the things they wrote this year,but by hand, in a short amount of time.

However,these guys aren't that type who work hard,they're lazy,but they know how to get out of tight situations.

So,we went back home,got a few pens and a notebook and then, the unexpectable : we went to a brothel(the place where you hire prostitutes).You might be wondering, what the hell were we doing there?I was questioning the same thing.Also, I'm under 18 so what the hell would I be doing there!?

Finally, we got there.Quite a lot of women I must say,I didn't know there were so many prostitutes in my town.My friend gathers 8 girls and gives them a "test".He made them write something on the notebook and,depending on how beautiful was their writing, he picked 2.Then,we drove back home.

On the way, the girls, which were sitting on the backseat along with me, were looking quite strangely at me.Who the hell gets a 14 year old prostitutes?!

We arrive at my friend's house,the girls go and sit on a couch and my friend's friend goes to get some beer.My friend went to the 2 girls and explained what he wanted them to do : He would pay them for writing all the stuff they have to write for uni.The prostitutes were very surprised,but also happy they didn't have to just fuck somebody,they could actually do something useful!In the meanwhile,the other guy returned with whisky,not beer.My friend went to the kitchen to open the whisky bottle and he told me to lead the girls into his bedroom where they were supposed to be writing all those uni lessons.

After that, we sat on the couch and watched TV,played poker,etc.We had fun for a little while.It got to 3 AM pretty quick,my friends got kinda drunk and we decided it was time to go to sleep.My friend went in his bedroom and told the prostitutes to keep on writing in the living room where I was supposed to be sleeping ( on the sofa ).

We had a little chat ( me and the 2 girls) and I explained to them the situation.We talked some more about their life,how I was doing at school,etc. and I fall asleep(without even realizing).

I woke up in the morning when everyone else was having coffee(including the prostitutes).My mates were thanking them for what they did,we all talked some more and after some time they left.Then, my friend started laughing at the other dude of what he had done last night.Being drunk,he did quite a lot of stupid stuff(like talking to a vase to ask for a blow and thinking one of the prostitutes was his mother).

So... if you say tl;dr let me explain this shortly :

I was staying at a friend over night with another friend of his.These guys had to re-write all their uni lessons,but by hand.So, to solve this problem, they hired 2 hookers to do the writing for them!

Ingenuity at its best.

Original thread : http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/163741-heres-a-little-funny-story/

that's genius IMO. I'll keep that in my bag of unethical tricks.

 

Ok I have a story about a dream I had while in high school.

I dressed as a solider for Latin club on Halloween.

Interestingly enough I had a dream the other day too where I was a legionnaire in training being shouted at by my instructor

He was busting my chops because I wasn't spearing a practice dummy hard enough, and then he called me a faggot, and I was like

"wait, why do you even know that word"

...

"wtf you're speaking English, you're not supposed to speak English I'm not even sure the English speak Engli-- oh I must be dreaming eh"

~lemme try and let the lucidity last

> begin trying to fly, start to levitate in dream, commencing liftoff

Immediately wake up. Goddammit.

[Tech_Dreamer]

[Fred Castellum]

I dressed as a solider for Latin club on Halloween.

Interestingly enough I had a dream the other day too where I was a legionnaire in training being shouted at by my instructor

He was busting my chops because I wasn't spearing a practice dummy hard enough, and then he called me a faggot, and I was like

"wait, why do you even know that word"

...

"wtf you're speaking English, you're not supposed to speak English I'm not even sure the English speak Engli-- oh I must be dreaming eh"

~lemme try and let the lucidity last

> begin trying to fly, start to levitate in dream, commencing liftoff

Immediately wake up. Goddammit.

I laughed

[Jack.EXE]

A long, drawn out ‘good morning’! wakes Jeffrey, only to find Jessy, his second in command, sitting on his waist.
"Aren't you excited? Today's the 802's first mission! Time to prove ourselves!" she shouts.
"More like terrified. Sure, we've posted high marks in training, but that's training. The clones that came back from Geonosis, it was like a living hell." Jeffrey replies grimly.
Hex, overhearing the conversation, gumbles, "Terrified or not, you've got a job to do, just like us."

"You guys filmin' a pornography over there or something? I want in!" Lexi, the bunk's flirt, crackles, sarcasm dripping from her tone.
Jeffrey and Jessy suddenly realize their positioning, and hastily got off each other.

After a few minutes of taunting, Bin, the lieutenant under Lexi, walks in with a bundle of rations.
"You all missed breakfast, you're lucky I've got such a kind heart as to bring some of... whatever this stuff is, back." he says.
"Thanks for the grub, but where's Bash? Aren't you together wherever you go?" Lexi inquires as she takes a bread roll and devours it.
"The idiot got his foot stuck in the trash, after I dared him to kick it. Well, more like ordered him to. Some poor chap from the 501st is helping him" Bin smirked.

That moment, Bash stumbled in, fuming. After a few moments of nasty glares, he growled "Ha ha, very funny. Now, any idea we’re we are going?"
"Intel picked up a distress call on a distant ice planet called Hoth, in the Anoath sector." Jessy responded.
"That's uncharted territory, or so we thought. We're going in blind either way." Jeffrey added.
"Great, now, how many are they sending?" Lexi asked doubtfully.
"Unfortunately, We don’t have the same option that our brothers had on geonosis, the legion is getting split up over the whole system, us six are searching a 100 kilometer squared area towards the south of the planet." Jeffrey said.
Everyone cringed at the thought of it.
"Anyway, relax, prepare, shower, whatever you do to get ready, just be in the hangar in 5 hours."

...

 

Nothing ever goes right the first time.
As the ship approached it’s target, it lurch violently, causing Jessy to slip, knock over Jeffrey, and fall out along with him, hitting the ground quite hard.
The ship carried on for another 20 Kilometers before finally, and literally, crashing to a stop, sending Hex flying.

 

Lexi, Bin and Bash got out of the crashed ship, salvaged whatever supplies they could, and attempted to contact the others, but to no avail. No reply from Hex, and Jeffrey's signal was cut off from one of the powerful ice storms of Hoth.

Jeffrey tried to re-establish contact, but the ice storm was not a good place for wireless signals to travel.
"This is unit B-32-192 and B-33-192, critical emergency. Our ship has crashed, and we have been separated from the rest of the legion. Come in, anyone? Our armour is compromised, we're going to freeze!" Jeffrey frustratingly yelled at the communications device.
“Lexi, Hex, Bin, Bash, come in? Jessy's with me. Anyone?"
"Looks like we're on our own. We better find shelter.” Jessy commented, noting his attempt at making contact.

While their armour was shot, they were uninjured; The armour took the blow of landing, preventing any major injuries.
They trudged on, with no idea what direction they were heading or where they were going. All they cared about was finding shelter and getting of the cold.
After walking half a mile or so, Jeffery sunk to the ground and began to dig.
"The snow here's deep enough to dig a small cave, to get the wind off our backs." Jeffrey explained as Jessy looked at him quizzically. She joined in to help after she realized she was colder than she thought.

Soon they were under the packed snow, with just enough room to sit up.
Still cold, Jeffrey began looking through what was left of his pack. A single ration brick. Dammit.
"We're doomed, nothing for heat here. Lost the sleeping pack in the crash." Jeffrey noted grimly.
Their training was useless here, there was nothing for warmth in knowledge, Jessy thought. It was time for a crazy idea, something that just might work.
Jessy's gears began to turn, and she had just that, a crazy idea. She took off the top half of her undersuit, exposing her torso, to which Jeffrey shouted, "What the hell are you doing! That won’t-oh"
She slipped the top on over Jeffrey, and slipped in with him.
"Always said these things could stretch to fit a whole bed, see? Make-shift sleeping bag." she replied.
She wrapped her arms around him, and he did the same, huddling like penguini.
Breathing as one, It felt like days passing through those hours. Time in that cave felt timeless to them, and just as they blacked out, the cave collapsed.

….

 

Hex, landed so hard, he was sure he broke his leg. He didn't care, however, he had to find the others, broken leg or not.

Lexi, Bin, and Bash looked over the ship after contact was lost.
"Unflyable, it won’t even start. Wings have been warped and onboard computers are broken to bits" Bash said.
"Well duh, did you see what hit the ship?" Lexi replied like that was the most obvious thing in the world.
"It wasn't a missile, and definitely not droids" Bin commented, as he discovered what had pierced the metal hull of the gunship
"It's quite a large rock. We're definitely not alone out here." Bash stated.
"I'm going to look for the others, stay here and keep your beacons live." Lexi said, as she walked off in Hex's direction, carrying a gun at her hip.

A few hours later, she found him-beaten, bruised, and limping, with possibly even more scars than before.
"What have you gotten into?" Lexi asked, observing his condition.
"There's beasts here, they are incredibly strong, I swear I saw one pick up a boulder like it was paper." Hex replied.
"There's one hunk of rock in the ship, those beasts must have knocked us down." She commented.
"Come on, we gotta go find our favourite couple."
"They're not a couple, you and I both know that." he replied calmly.
"You know what I saw, too. They even shower together, I've got it on camera!" Lexi argued, drawn in by her favorite topic.
"You forget, she was clothed, and he was covered in sludge. YOU pushed him in it in the first place!" Hex laughed.
"Fine, one day though, they'll be togeth--" She said as she sunk into the deep snow.
Lexi's foot fell a bit deeper than she thought it would, and Hex’s scanning device picked up something.
"Two life forms, though faint." he noted.
"Beasts?" She asked, drawing her gun.
"No, dig below you." he replied.

They began to dig, and uncovered their commanding officers, practically cuddling.
"See? I told you they're a couple!" Lexi exclaimed.
"Clever, they used the fabric from their tops as a make-shift sleeping bag, probably saving their lives." Hex observed, ignoring Lexi.
"Oh dear, they're freezing though, we gotta get them back. Don't separate them, you got a blanket or something?" Lexi asked, trying to get them out of the small layer of ice that covered them while they were in the cave.
Hex looked through his pack, discovering a body-bag.
"They're not dead, but this should work just fine." he said, as he slipped the bag over them, and picking up." he said.

Jeffrey woke up shortly after Jessy, to have bin and bash staring at them, and Lexi started probing them with questions of the sexual nature, claiming she caught them sleeping together.
"Will you cut it out? What help does that do?" Jessy snapped.
"Fine." Lexi sighed, and she sat down.

...

 

A few more hours passed, not much was said. Hex got ahold of the mothership, and told them of their coordinates.
Ten hours after the start of the mission on the planet Hoth, a rescue ship arrived


“Glad we're finally out of that hellpit! Damn, this is a volcano in comparison to Hoth." Bash exclaimed.
"Did the legion find the source of the call on Hoth?" Jeffrey asked.
"Yes, we did." a voice said dully, as a clone in a wheelchair entered.
It was 43-099, Skyballs, a nickname earned by working with weather and his defect.
Lexi, leaning on the wall, previously letting her mind wander, looked him up and down. After a new seconds, she introduced him.
"Head of intelligence" she explained.
"A pleasure to meet you," Jeffrey said, lifting his hand to shake. "Who was the call from?"
"A lost bounty hunter's ship. However, the pilot was nowhere to be found." Skyballs said.
Jessy got up. "I'm going to check on Hex. It took a lot of persuasion to get him to check in to the infirmary, despite the broken femur and all."
As she was walking out the door, she tossed her head back and said "Send for me when we're within 20 minutes of Kamino."
Lexi, looking at the remains of Jessy's armor, commented "I'm sure you enjoy her new look."
"Enough, Lexi" Jeffrey growled "It was only a couple hours and we were cold, you said we were covered in ice when you found us. First thing I'm doing back at Kamino is getting our armor replacements" Jeffrey said as he made his way to the door
"Remember to cover her breasts!" Lexi teased as Jeffrey opened the door, causing him to throw the hunk of plastoid armor that he was holding at her.
"I tripped a nerve, didn’t I?" Lexi mused, staring at the hunk of plastoid thrown so hard it dug into the wall behind her.
"Guys generally don’t like it when you say they have a crush on someone." Bin commented.

...

Jessy was looking over Hex's leg when a clone wearing fire gear walked in.
"Jeffrey sent you?" Jessy asked, looking up from Hex.
"No, Bash. He said Jeff's steaming right now." The clone replied.
"Emma, right?" Jessy questioned.
"Correct. By the way, we're approximately 15 minutes from eyeshot of Kamino."
"Great, now I can finally get out of this infirmary." Hex said from his bed.
"And back into another. You broke your leg, and the doctor droid suspects a few ribs too. This will take at least a week to heal" Jessy smirked.

...

Jessy couldn’t sleep. Her mind was racing. She looked at her clock - it read 1:24. She'd been lying awake for at least three hours. She had practically stripped back on hoth. Sure, she only ditched the top, and it saved their lives, but she would never forget the feeling of lying with someone, breathing in tandem, heartbeats in their arms. She turned over, giving up trying to sleep, and leaned over her bunk, tapping Jeffrey's shoulder, waking him.
"I'm cold." she whispered, inviting him onto her bed.
"What?" he asked.
"It wasn’t like me, to do that." she answered vaguely.
"Oh, the cave? Think nothing of it, you saved our lives." He said, attempting to comfort her. "You had to, or else you'd be dead."
"I'm trying to, but I still can't sleep. It's bothering the crap out of me." she complained.
"Well, change the subject." Jeffrey said, for his or her sake, he didn’t know. "I wonder what it would be like to be a farmer..."

…

Lexi woke up to find Jeffrey's bed empty, and upon further inspection, she found Jessy's bed deserted as well, though it was evident that the latter had more use in her devious tactics. She found them in the Mess hall, partaking in early breakfast, which Jeffrey normally avoids.
"So, how was Jessy's Bed?" she jabbed, as she sat down next to Jessy and Jeffrey.
"Amazing!" Jeffrey laughed, shocking Lexi.
"I'm kidding" he added, noting her reaction. "How was Hex's?"
"You saw?" Lexi said, continuing the gag. Everyone knew Hex was still in the infirmary, so no one really paid attention. Plus, this was Lexi talking.

…

Jeffrey and Jessy found Lexi on the water training deck, swimming. Who knows how long they have back home? She had a habit of wearing that modified undersuit in there, but it showed quite a bit of skin.
"Lexi, we got another mission." Jeffrey shouted.
She pulled herself up out of the pool and took the towel Jessy tossed to her, slipping off the wet suit under it.
"Where?" she asked.
"Be somewhere warm, please." she added.

...

Back at the bunk, Lexi flopped her naked, sopping body onto Bin and threw her equally wet towel onto Bash, soaking them both to wake them.
"I take it we've got another mission" they said in unison.


Lexi was bouncing up and down on bin, yelling at him to get up, when the Jedi Padawan, Trel Astine, walked in.
"I'm looking for the command-" she stops, noticing Lexi's antics. She turns around, noticing the Jedi's presence, and quickly covers her breasts and grins sheepishly.
"I'm looking for the commander." Trel finished, casting a questioning stare at Lexi.
"That would be me." Jeffrey said "My name is Jeffery, B-32-192. I see you've already met Lexi." he smirked as he glanced at the team's captain.
Lexi got up and put on a long tank top resembling a dress that Jessy had tossed her.
"And this is Jessy, my second in command" he added, gesturing to her with his hand.
"I see," Trel said. "And the two soaked by - Lexi, are...?"
"Bin and Bash. They do everything together, practically liked twins." Jeffrey replied.
"Now that that's over with, I take it you have a squad ready for covert ops?” she asked.
"Yessir, right this way" Jeffrey said, turning attentive as he walked out the door, motioning for Lexi and Trel to come along.
They walked in a locker room, where twelve female clones were preparing their armor suits. There were all wearing white tank tops with black undersuit bottoms, showing off their '802' tattoo and serial numbers. They belonged to batches 42, 48, and 72.
They snapped to attention when the clones and Jedi walked in.
"Very nice" Trel mused "How's their stealth?"
"Top notch" Jeffrey boasted, waving towards the clones. "Hand picked by elite analyzers."
"Female clones, I've noticed. Care to explain how that came about?" Trel asked, her eyebrows raised. "We're the experimental units for weapons, materials, gear, and even DNA." Lexi explained.
"In short, we get all the goodies, including the extra goodies." she smirked, gesturing to her chest.
"I see. Anyhow, you got the mission packet, correct?" Trel asked, frowning.
"Of course. I'm leading a diversion, while you take this squad and sneak in." Jeffrey said.
"Good. We meet in half an hour on the loading bay. Prepare suit up, we're going to Dantooine" she said.

 

Hex woke up to the sound of clone's boots thumping on the ground as they ran by the infirmary. With some effort, he got up and looked out the window. 802 troops. “They must be heading to the loading bay,” he thought. Luckily, the medical droid wasn't there, so he slipped out and grabbed his gear from the bunkers.
He was walking down the hall with a group of clones when Lexi, coming the other direction, bumped in to him. She immediately grabbed his chestplate and began dragging him back towards the infirmary
"Nope." She growled, pushing him back into the facility. Hex was tough, but Lexi was strong, more than average. It was likely the swimming, there was no keeping her out of the water. No matter, he'd just try again once she leaves.
"I was coming to say bye, and here you are trying to leave." she said, shaking her head. "Well, now you're not getting that kiss I was going to give you." she added sarcastically as she left the room and headed back to the bay. Hex knew couldn't be so messy in his escape next time. He slipped out again, this time staying out of sight. If he got found this time, and he'd probably never get on the ship. When he got down to the loading bay, he stayed out of sight for a while, and then snuck onto the ship while the crew was loading supplies.

It was not until halfway to Dantooine when he was found.
"You just don't take a no to these things, do you?" Trel sighed, hoping an injured soldier wouldn't slow them down.
"He's stubborn." Lexi said as she grabbed him and tied him to a wheelchair. "You can come with us, but you're not going into any of the action." she scolded. All the while, Jeffery was shaking his head and laughing at Hex's everlasting resilience.

...

They managed to land uneventfully, and Jeffrey gave the command to set up camp. Tents and fold-able mobile stations were pitched and set up, with 12 clones to a facility. Jeffrey, Jessy, and Hex had their own tent, but the Medical Droids deemed it a better decision to have Hex sleep in the infirmary.
"You can't be serious, it's just a broken leg." He complained. Lexi smiled deviously, knowing it would be just Jeffrey and Jessy in their tent.

...

The next morning, Trel set off with her squad, in their charcoal grey, digital camouflage gear.
"They only have around 35 minutes to sneak in and open the gates before the camo suits run out of juice" Jeffrey said grimly.
"It's time to create a diversion. You stay safe, I don't want to lose the finest soldiers in GAR."
Lexi ignored the warning. They were on crunch time, they had to be ready at the gate when Trel opened it. She ordered her unit to push forward.
The battle had begun. Lexi charged forward, carried by the heat of battle, unaware that the droids pushed her unit back.

Too late, she realized the full extent of the droid's numbers.
Lexi was surrounded, dual DC-15s blasters in her hands.
"Stand Down, Jedi" a droid ordered
Jedi? She realized they've never seen a female clone before now. She could use this to her advantage.

She dropped her blasters.

"This is 1080, come in command, we have captured a Jedi."
She could hear droid voices saying "Is it a Jedi? It looks like a Jedi. It's wearing clone armor though. Well, clones aren't female, it must be a Jedi."
Grievous himself answers, and a large B2 holds Lexi's arms behind her back, and kicks her knees to the ground, forcing her to kneel, and removes her helmet
"Ah, very clever, Jedi scum, posing as a clone to fool our droids. Shame it didn't work." Grievous said in his raspy voice.
"Ah, you must be Grievous, the cyborg. Shame you lost your balls." Lexi mocked
This insult enraged Grievous, it wasn't like anything he'd heard from a captured Jedi before.
"Trade offs were made, yes.” he snarled. “But now I'm a force that even Jedi fear!"
"Oh, I bet. And tell me, which of us is losing their cool right now?" Lexi mused.
"She does have a point" a droid says. It's head is off in seconds.
"I bet you miss being able to reproduce, are you jealous?" She said. Immediately she realizing that she'd slipped up, for Jedi don't reproduce.
Ignoring the insult, Grievous asked, "Tell me, where is your light saber, Jedi?"
“Crap” Lexi thought
"I, erm, dropped it." She replied hastily.
She could hear an explosion coming from behind Grievous. Must be Trel's doing.
"This is no Jedi! Dispose of her!” Grievous order, muttering, “What a waste of time” as he turned away.
“Double Crap” she thought, sweat forming on her brow. The B-2 knocked her over, face down.
Lexi was spewing curses. She screwed up, big time. Now she was going to die a humiliating death to pay for it. A droid took aim at Lexi. Suddenly, it slipped, shooting the B2 that was holding lexi down, freeing her.
"Thanks" she muttered, relieved and shaken. She quickly got up, capitalizing on the surprise.
Droids fired everywhere, trying to shoot her in the chaos, hitting each other instead. Still, the numbers were overwhelming, and she couldn't count on a second fluke.
So she booked it, and ran harder than she ever had before, pushing her legs, body and mind to the absolute limit.

...

“They know" Lexi gasped, panting. Her face looked like a like had decided to dump itself on her, and she looked exhausted.
"Know what?" Jeffrey asked urgently.
"They didn't know I was a clone, thought I was a Jedi. They intended to capture me, keep me hostage or something like that, till Grievous stepped in, and I, uhh, slipped up." She replied sheepishly.
Seeing the confused expression Jeffrey had, she reiterated. "They know about 802"

 

Is this cheating? I'm already writing a book...

[ANUPLUCIFERGAMER]

Nothing Much

 

It saw a fine day in our school and it was the day for a swimming competition. All of use were getting ready in our room. When a boy was caught red handed taking pics of some girls half naked from his camera. He was then just like a year old in the school. So then, he went to the restroom and changed his clothes. Some students bet him if he could sit on wet painted chair. He accepted and sat.

 

Apparently, they had some super glue on it. Which he didn't notice. He sat on it with no problem. The fun was when he tried to get up

His pant tore and we could see his ass. Red like a hot tomato, with a birth mark near his asshole

 

Then, some guys put a cover on him, and pushed him inside the pool. He struggled like a bitch....

 

Hope I get this. I already own this game. This one will be for my bro, who's birthday is coming next month.

 

It'd be good if I can save 40-50$ for a game to gift him. I can use that money for my build

 

He has played BF3. And loved it. He'd be very happy to be able to get BF4. @Vitalius

 

Here's another one as a back-up

 

This was me back in 2005

It was a good fine day. I was in my school

I used to come by school bus those days.

So one day, My dad said he will come and pick me up after school. I was quite happy then. After the school was over, I went to the driver and said my dad would come and pick me up so I will not be coming in your bus today. He just smiled and said OK. So then I waited in the busstop for quite a time. There was no sigh of my dad arriving. After about half an hour. The Clark saw me sitting on the bench and asked me what was wrong? She asked me if I missed the bus.

 

I just said her that my dad was going to pick me up but he hasn't yet arrived. She just asked if I wanted to call my dad. I just yes and she called home. My Mom picked the phone up and talked something and then I think she said, I will come. But then, again. Even after 15 minutes of the call. There was no sign of my mom too. What the fuck was going on on that day?

 

I just said the Clark to send me home. She called a bus driver, and said me to drop me out. He just said okay without hesitating.

But then, I just went to the top floor of the school and just stood there watching the scenery. I never knew the bus had come to pick me up. After about 15 minutes. A lkady comes and says: Go quick. The bus is for you".

 I just ran down the stairs and sat in the bus. The driver then dropped me off at the road opposite to my house. Now, I had to cross the road. And yes it was about noon. I couldn't see a single person that could help me out there. I just crossed the road. By the time I was crossing it, my mom just went to the school lookinf for me. Not knowing I was already there. I just went to the door and knocked for about ten times. My aunt who lives beside us, has always a duplicate key for our house. She just opened the dorr of our house and let me in in my own house. My mom came to know about me being dropped here by the bus so she came quickly . That was a horrible experience..... 

 

Again, as said. Hope I get this

[Jack.EXE]

So i re-read the rules, and my star wars book doesn't count. so here I go with something that really happened.

 

So a while ago, I was at a waterpark and I started up a convo with this boy, couldn't be more than 12, and this girl who was my age. We've been waiting in line for around 15 mins at this point. We were waiting on a water coaster type thing. I don't remember what all we talked about, but one topic were stories where we lost our suits on slides, and the little kid was like EWW when the girl brought up losing her top, and at first I agreed, but I thought for a moment and decided it wasn't so gross (I had done previous research that states that both men and women possess mammary glands, yada yada yada) anyway, so the convo continued for a while, and I found out a few things about the two. the kid was a PS2 fan (Yes!) and the girl was a PC gamer (like for real, not just the girls who love the taste of those cords...) anyway, we got to the top of the stairs, after another 20 or so mins. and we were leaning on the rail, the girl was next for the slide. so we were watching the crowd, and I spotted a parked car that began to move.

at first I thought that a guy was pulling out to leave, but no, the car kept going, accelerating in reverse, right into the chain link fence surrounding the park. Thankfully, no one got hurt, cause just after the fence was a ledge, and the car got high-centered.

 

So of course everyone stopped what they were doing (35 minutes spent in line, and we didn't even get to ride!) and the park closed for about an hour while some dudes broke in the car, turned it off, and pushed it out of the park. Still have no idea who the car belonged to. Sadly didn't see the two again.

 

Anyway, I'd love to get BF4 cause I simply don't have the money to spend, and I never pirate anything. I'll make some eyefinity vids for you guys, If I can get afterburner running again. I've been playing Battlefield 2142 to this day.

[ANUPLUCIFERGAMER]

Note: This is a story from my Blog on the forums.

 

So, I have been talking to a girl. We have but a single class together, Photoshop. She's perfect for me. She likes technology, listens to the same music and likes cars as I do. She is funny and fun to be around. But I am afraid. Afraid I will ruin a good friendship, destruct what we already have in the pursuit of more. She's pretty good with Photoshop. She is in a beginner class, while I am in advanced. She is taking advanced next year as I take portfolio, which makes the chances of us seeing each other high, so if I screw it up and the relationship goes sour, I will end up dealing with the guilt and looks for my senior year. I am a junior in high school, she is a sophmore. It shouldn't surprise you then, when I tell you that I have been in this situation before.

It all started in the 8th grade. I went to a Catholic school (I know) and I met a girl. Now, I don't know what I saw in her. She was a rebel, a bitch per se. She always had an attitude and she didn't like many people. But my kind and outgoing self was attracted to her anyways. We actually had a decent friendship. Video chatting and texting each other here and there, generally having fun. But, once I brought up the idea that I may have liked her, she closed up. She stopped answering my texts, removed me from social media, etc. I had asked her to the 8th grade prom (lol) and she was pressured to say yes since I made the mistake of asking in public. And that is the start of the issues.

So, freshman in high school now. Excited, and the girls think I am cute (in the manner of which people think Russell from Up is cute.) There is a girl in my Italian class. She is a pretty brunette, seems to be a decent person. I get to know her better. I have two other friends in my Living Environment class, who turn out to be friends of hers as well. I tell them about it, not knowing that they were going to tell her. Tsssss, burn. A few months later then, news gets out that I like her. So, one day in mid-October, my parents pick me up from school. We arrive home to an unfamiliar vehicle, which I will forever call "LaTundra", because of the entry GIF.

Back on topic. So, we are headed up to my dad's workplace in a white LaTundra. I had my iPod plugged into the radio listening to music as I recieve a text on my fawsome BlackBerry. Guess who it is? The brunette. She texts me, asking if I liked her. I foolishly lied and replied "No, who told you that?" I recieve the liberation-laying "I am not ready for a relationship." Meanwhile, that proves to be a load of bullshit when my sister spots her with a male friend of hers, who abandoned being friends with my sister for some poon'. The next month, my sister celebrates her 16th birthday. At her Sweet 16, the guy in question was on her dais. He never showed, and we all (the rest of the dais, our cousins and her friends) flamed him as if he were a chestnut over an open fire. The girl started spreading bullshit lies and rumors about my sister too. She would always give my sister dirty looks and snicker when she saw her.

 

So, I chose this because it really tells about my most prominent issue in life, yes, a girl out of all things. 

 

http://linustechtips.com/main/blog/36/entry-172-women/

 

I'm sorry. I forgot to mention that I already own the game. If I do by chance win it, it will go to @nsyedhasan.

Why nsyedhasan?

[Inkz]

I am in possession of another BF4 key and I already own it. I don't care about selling it or trading it, so a giveaway is in order. :3

However, I don't like just "giving it away" to whoever gets here first. So, what we are going to do is simple.

Write me a decent 1-2 paragraph story about an event in your life. Yes, it's high school English all over again. Obviously don't put specifics (i.e. names and such), but just something interesting, funny, epic, or what have you. 

I'll go through and put all the people who told me a story (that I consider legit) in a big pool and roll a die until only 1 person is left in the list by my rules. That person will win. 

Good luck and have fun.

Note: Please only Safe For Work. Cringe is fine, but nothing extreme. NSFW or otherwise unnecessarily disturbing or vulgar entries will be ignored/invalidated.

 

Edit: oops. The giveaway ends in 3 days. That's Saturday 6PM CST.

Can I pm you it?

[SkilledRebuilds]

This one time, right about now actually.. I was going to write a story.

Got compelled to read everyone else's and stopped.

 

Thats my story.

[TheSLSAMG]

Why nsyedhasan?

He's a good friend, he is just getting around to complete his first build and I felt he deserves it because for every time that I and a few others have played it while sitting in the Teamspeak, nsyed has been sitting on the sidelines.

[Vitalius]

For those invalid but wanting to still try and win, you can try again.

 

@TheSLSAMG - Valid

@phillrulz - Invalid (I'm assuming twas a joke and you aren't interested in the giveaway.)

@angrylemon - Hue^3, no.

@Gr8White_Bear - Valid

@NeatSquidYT - Invalid (Same as phillrulz.)

@Nineshadow - Valid

@Johners - ... Valid.

@ONOTech - Valid

@megadarkwood - Valid

@Jud4s - Valid

@mr.squishy - Valid

@MyInnerFred - Valid

@RainbowPee - Invalid. Sorry, needs to be about your life. I'm sure you can come up with something.

@APrettyCoolWalrus - Valid.

@thekeemo - Valid.

@Jerakl - Valid.

@helping - Valid.

@ - Invalid for the first one (the book), Valid for the second one.

@ANUPLUCIFERGAMER - Valid. However, I'd appreciate it if you'd edit out that poem thing in your post. I asked for Safe For Work only.

@Inkz - Yes. Go for it.

@SkilledRebuilds - Valid.

 

As for the rest, awesome stories. Thanks .

 

Just so it's clear, I didn't mean they had to be High School related stories. That was a joke about how this is like High School English. The story can be about anything as long as it's about you and your life. 

[PhantomChevron]

One day, I went to a shop and bought BF4, the end.

 

 

 

 

 

I just posted this for lolz, Don't count this, I have the game

[angrylemon]

 

For those invalid but wanting to still try and win, you can try again.

 

@TheSLSAMG - Valid

@phillrulz - Invalid (I'm assuming twas a joke and you aren't interested in the giveaway.)

@angrylemon - Hue^3, no.

@Gr8White_Bear - Valid

@NeatSquidYT - Invalid (Same as phillrulz.)

@Nineshadow - Valid

@Johners - ... Valid.

@ONOTech - Valid

@megadarkwood - Valid

@Jud4s - Valid

@mr.squishy - Valid

@MyInnerFred - Valid

@RainbowPee - Invalid. Sorry, needs to be about your life. I'm sure you can come up with something.

@APrettyCoolWalrus - Valid.

@thekeemo - Valid.

@Jerakl - Valid.

@helping - Valid.

@ - Invalid for the first one (the book), Valid for the second one.

@ANUPLUCIFERGAMER - Valid. However, I'd appreciate it if you'd edit out that poem thing in your post. I asked for Safe For Work only.

@Inkz - Yes. Go for it.

@SkilledRebuilds - Valid.

 

As for the rest, awesome stories. Thanks .

 

Just so it's clear, I didn't mean they had to be High School related stories. That was a joke about how this is like High School English. The story can be about anything as long as it's about you and your life. 

 

hey!! mine was an epic story about a homeless man. y u do dis?

[ShadowCaptain]

I do not have a good story to tell today

 

But

 

I do want to convert my friend that thinks FPS on console is better and I want to show him that Battlefield 4 on PC is the way to be!

 

Help me convert somebody to the glorious race

[Askew]

For those invalid

 

lol you didn't even speak of the abomination that one member posted. :lol:

[phillrulz]

 

For those invalid but wanting to still try and win, you can try again.

 

 

@phillrulz - Invalid (I'm assuming twas a joke and you aren't interested in the giveaway.)

Yes was a joke i already have the game.  can i get a 10/10 for most likes ?

[DIV1D3]

I'm tired, so I might write something up tomorrow lol. Probably take me 2 hours to remember something kewl (been about 5 months since I've had fun), also I'd like to know what "sleeping" means, supposedly people do it, and I wanna be apart of the kool kids group