Dealing with Depression

[dalekphalm]

7 hours ago, cluelessgenius said:

1. no meds here. i dont rust pharma companies to fuck with my brain chemistry. also i feel that doesnt help to find purpose in life just makes you feel OK about the way it is. 

Why don't you trust "Pharma"? Medication is the reason why we crawled out of caves and became the most powerful civilization ever to exist (that we know of).

 

7 hours ago, cluelessgenius said:

i really dont trust doctors in general but psychologists even less. i have problems letting people in already and im supposed to let someone in whos literal job it is to reprogram people. back in the day i tried to talk to guidance counselor (for lack of a better word) in college but i kept being skeptical about every sentence she spoke. it sounded to nice. i felt talked down to. like how you would talk to a child to calm it down from a tantrum. so either shes manipulating me or her so called guidance is literally useless. if you have a conversation with someone either you are intellectually superior to them or they are to you. in case of #1 their tipps about life are useless. in case of the latter i cant trust them to not have a hidden agenda behind their words. i know sounds stupid 

This actually tells me that you most definitely need to go see a doctor and a psychologist or specialist of some kind. The trick is going to be finding one that you can trust.

 

You obviously have some trust issues in general with "experts" - and forget about your guidance counselor, she's nothing like a qualified and properly trained psychologist.

 

You need help, and because depression isn't just "feeling sad", getting help from a medical professional (A real one, not a quack like a naturopath or a homeopath) is in your best interests. It'll be difficult, but I imagine you're already familiar with life being difficult (people suffering from depression go through far more than your average person does).

 

Please, for your own sake, at least go to a doctor once and talk to them about your depression. You can even tell them that you'd like to try other remedies besides medication first, if that'll make you feel more comfortable.

 

[Andreas Lilja]

Wow distrust of pills is still a thing. 

[aezakmi]

22 hours ago, Yoinkerman said:

Didn't read beyond the first post but it sounds like you need some hobbies outside of the house.

 

Take a painting class, go golfing, join a Facebook group, etc.

how joining a facebook group is an outside activity?

[Andreas Lilja]

Why not all three. 

 

Taking a painting class on a golf course with people from Facebook. 

[airENOwevEr778]

First of all, I think that admitting you're having a problem is already the first step towards getting better. So good job there, buddy. 

 

Second, it's good that you've found this community worthy of your trust to share this private info about your life.

 

Third, I suggest you find a friend/family member you can confide too as well. And then maybe seek a professional's help. Of course if you're not comfortable doing that right now, you can take it one step at a time.

 

Hope these small things help. I would also suggest you give yourself credit for everything you have achieved so far. 

[Panic637]

11 hours ago, cluelessgenius said:

 

well im trying that right now but running for example only helps while i run. 

Sounds like we found ourselves an ultra marathoner

[dizmo]

Why not set new life goals? There are literally millions of things you can set yourself to. Learn something new, pick up a new hobby (or hell, even finding a new hobby can be a goal), travel to different countries, get a better job, perfect your career, etc etc.

 

Do you make your bed in the morning?

 

After school, you set forth on life. Live. Do aforementioned things. Find love. Start a family. Start a business. As you stated, no one is there to tell you what to do with your life, because it's up to you to decide that. You don't have to start a family of have kids. Loads of people don't.

 

As for the lack of a social life, well, that's really only on you. Find people with similar interests, and take part. Paintball? Go to a LAN party? Take advanced first aid courses? Take up target shooting? There's lots of ways to meet people.

 

Others have mentioned going to a doctor, and I'd also advise that. It's likely free where you live, and honestly, you don't have anything to lose by simply going there and talking to someone. It's not like they'll force drugs down your throat if you don't want them, and really, with enough research I'm positive you'd be able to find a homeopathic/alternative medicine doctor. Again, however, it all comes down to you, and whether you've enough drive to pursue that.

[Tristerin]

On ‎2‎/‎13‎/‎2019 at 8:44 AM, cluelessgenius said:

-snip-

You have to find something that you love and is therapeutic.  For me, and I will also suggest this - is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.  One of the best communities of people you can be around, and a mentally engaging fighting style that is amazing to boot (for physical fitness as well, when you look good you feel good!).  I train 5 days a week.  During that 1.5 hours training session nothing else matters A great stress reliever.  

 

9-10 years ago when I walked into the dojo I was 340 lbs and depressed.  Never looked, felt, been better in my life.  Its my center, so I suggest you at least give it a try  

[dalekphalm]

1 hour ago, dizmo said:

and really, with enough research I'm positive you'd be able to find a homeopathic/alternative medicine doctor.

I was with you up until there. The rest of your post, 100% agreement. Homeopathy is 100% actually a scam though. It's placebo at best. It's literally impossible for homeopathy to work.

 

Alternative medicine on the other hand can indeed have effective remedies. But as we know, there's really no such thing as alternative medicine - there's evidence based medicine. If an "alternative treatment" works, then it's just "a treatment backed by evidence". And there are loads of em.

 

I'm not personally aware of any evidence based alternative treatment for depression, but that could totally exist, if the OP wants to go down that route. The problem is filtering out the scam/pseudoscience bullshit, which is very difficult.

[dizmo]

26 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

I was with you up until there. The rest of your post, 100% agreement. Homeopathy is 100% actually a scam though. It's placebo at best. It's literally impossible for homeopathy to work.

 

Alternative medicine on the other hand can indeed have effective remedies. But as we know, there's really no such thing as alternative medicine - there's evidence based medicine. If an "alternative treatment" works, then it's just "a treatment backed by evidence". And there are loads of em.

 

I'm not personally aware of any evidence based alternative treatment for depression, but that could totally exist, if the OP wants to go down that route. The problem is filtering out the scam/pseudoscience bullshit, which is very difficult.

Depends how you look at it. Exercise, for example, has been shown to have a pretty decent success rate at combating depression. Placebos, as they are, can also be effective to a certain degree. Now, it does all depend on how depressed the person is, and what's causing it. If he absolutely refuses to go to a regular doctor, at least seeing someone is better than seeing no one at all.

[dalekphalm]

3 minutes ago, dizmo said:

Depends how you look at it. Exercise, for example, has been shown to have a pretty decent success rate at combating depression. Placebos, as they are, can also be effective to a certain degree. Now, it does all depend on how depressed the person is, and what's causing it. If he absolutely refuses to go to a regular doctor, at least seeing someone is better than seeing no one at all.

Exercise has real health benefits, that have been known for many years - that's not the same as the placebo effect (though exercising, like literally anything, can also trigger the placebo effect, in addition to it's real measurable benefits).

 

But here's my problem with homeopathy - yes, placebo can sometimes be enough. But you can get placebo without being scammed by a multi-billion dollar scam industry. I can in good conscience never be okay with recommending homeopathy. Naturopathy? Some parts I can get behind - but not homeopathy.

 

Especially since it'll just reinforce his distrust of science and medicine, which is frankly, not good.

[captain_to_fire]

1 hour ago, dalekphalm said:

never be okay with recommending homeopathy

But...but...but...potentization of St. John’s Wort and water at 200x can cure depression... 

 

Spoiler

/jk  

Yeah. of all the CAM, homeopathy is the most bogus of all of them together with magnetic therapy. 

 

[Yoinkerman]

9 hours ago, aezakmi said:

how joining a facebook group is an outside activity?

Our local cars and coffee meetups are run via FB, come on man put a little thought into it

[cluelessgenius]

17 hours ago, dalekphalm said:

Why don't you trust "Pharma"? Medication is the reason why we crawled out of caves and became the most powerful civilization ever to exist (that we know of).

 

This actually tells me that you most definitely need to go see a doctor and a psychologist or specialist of some kind. The trick is going to be finding one that you can trust.

 

You obviously have some trust issues in general with "experts" - and forget about your guidance counselor, she's nothing like a qualified and properly trained psychologist.

 

You need help, and because depression isn't just "feeling sad", getting help from a medical professional (A real one, not a quack like a naturopath or a homeopath) is in your best interests. It'll be difficult, but I imagine you're already familiar with life being difficult (people suffering from depression go through far more than your average person does).

 

Please, for your own sake, at least go to a doctor once and talk to them about your depression. You can even tell them that you'd like to try other remedies besides medication first, if that'll make you feel more comfortable.

 

you know how it is. actually going to one for the first time feels like admitting defeat. like im not strong enough to handle life on my own. whilst everybody else seems to be fine. or at least not in need of assistance. also i fear thats gonna make a even bigger deal out of this and through my life in a mixer.

15 hours ago, Raskolnikov said:

Wow distrust of pills is still a thing. 

well mostly the people making the pills but yeah if someone is trying to manipulate the way my brain works PERMANENTLY then excuse me for being a little cautice

 

[dalekphalm]

3 hours ago, cluelessgenius said:

you know how it is. actually going to one for the first time feels like admitting defeat. like im not strong enough to handle life on my own. whilst everybody else seems to be fine. or at least not in need of assistance. also i fear thats gonna make a even bigger deal out of this and through my life in a mixer.

Everyone else doesn't suffer from depression - if I broke my arm, I wouldn't think "Well no one else broke their arm, so I shouldn't visit the doctor".

 

It's the same thing. Depression is a medical concern. You're not weak or "not strong enough". That's not how depression works. Your mental will power has very little to do with how you feel while in depression.

3 hours ago, cluelessgenius said:

well mostly the people making the pills but yeah if someone is trying to manipulate the way my brain works PERMANENTLY then excuse me for being a little cautice

Well, if you're suffering from depression, then you kind of need to have your brain manipulated to fix the problem. Just the same that if I had diabetes, I would need to have my blood changed permanently through dialysis.

 

Caution is good. Believing "Pharma is evil" is not helpful to yourself.

 

Please, go make an appointment with your doctor. Talk about your condition with them. Talk about your concerns with medication and therapy, and how it's difficult for you to give that trust. Let your doctor know that this trust must be earned.

 

And understand for yourself that it may take time - a long time - to truly get better. But you have to start before you can finish, so it's really in your best interest to sit down with your doctor and - if nothing else - have a conversation with them. Legally they are bound to keep what you share private, as long as you don't tell him you're gonna murder someone lol (doctor patient confidentiality is legally binding in most countries).

 

He won't (and actually can't) force you to take any medication, so you're still in control. But you have to open yourself up to the possibility that you need to trust these people who are experts in the ailment you suffer from.

[cluelessgenius]

12 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Everyone else doesn't suffer from depression - if I broke my arm, I wouldn't think "Well no one else broke their arm, so I shouldn't visit the doctor".

 

It's the same thing. Depression is a medical concern. You're not weak or "not strong enough". That's not how depression works. Your mental will power has very little to do with how you feel while in depression.

Well, if you're suffering from depression, then you kind of need to have your brain manipulated to fix the problem. Just the same that if I had diabetes, I would need to have my blood changed permanently through dialysis.

 

Caution is good. Believing "Pharma is evil" is not helpful to yourself.

 

Please, go make an appointment with your doctor. Talk about your condition with them. Talk about your concerns with medication and therapy, and how it's difficult for you to give that trust. Let your doctor know that this trust must be earned.

 

And understand for yourself that it may take time - a long time - to truly get better. But you have to start before you can finish, so it's really in your best interest to sit down with your doctor and - if nothing else - have a conversation with them. Legally they are bound to keep what you share private, as long as you don't tell him you're gonna murder someone lol (doctor patient confidentiality is legally binding in most countries).

 

He won't (and actually can't) force you to take any medication, so you're still in control. But you have to open yourself up to the possibility that you need to trust these people who are experts in the ailment you suffer from.

youre really making some good points here. i will definitly think about talking to my doctor.

but actually i was thinking about this and i think the whole concept would work better with something like a help group. you know how ex-alcoholics or drug users have sponsors tohelp them. i think i could trust that person more than an "expert". i just think psychologist learned this shit in school and books but talking with actual people that have dealt with the shit makes more sense to me. anyway ill try to give them a chance i guess.

[Ralphred]

There have been some good points in here OP, and I want to add a couple of thoughts for you.

When you go to your doctor, I guarantee it will not be the first time they have had people describe similar situations to them. You can see it in their body language and they way they respond to what you tell them. This can be a great comfort to you at the time because it gives you confidence in your decision to meet with them, use this to tell them everything, they are the gatekeeper between you and all the services your country offers to help people like you.

 

I completely understand your hesitance to use medication and have two things to say, I've yet to come across any that has a permanent effect, there are some medical intervention therapies that are semi-permanent, but you shouldn't allow the fear of permanence discourage you. Secondly, if you have no desire to become dependant make this clear to your doctor, it's perfectly acceptable to just want to use them as a jumping off point, a short term solution to helping you do the things you need to to not need them anymore.

If at any point you find that the effect (intended or otherwise) certain medications have on you unacceptable, express your concerns straight away with your doctor and don't take no for an answer.

 

Overcoming depression is like climbing a hill, the sooner you start the sooner you reach the top and get to freewheel down the other side, it gets easier...