Dealing with Depression

[cluelessgenius]

so i thought i write this down here since you guys are pretty much the only community i feel close enough to to talk about this,

 

for years now i have been dealing with depression.

 

sometimes more sometimes less depending on what i can distract myself with (pc building and gaming being part of that)

i just ran out of goals in life i guess.

here is what i mean.

 

from a very young age you get your goals dictated to you beginning with "do your homework" and then "achieve good grades on your exams" so you can "get good grades on your annual report card" so you can "get a good degree" and "go to a better college/university" so you can "get a good job" 

 

but what then?

 

i now have a good job. so now what? nobody can tell you what to do with your life. and apparently i dont know on my own.

 

so i work away day after day and nothing changes. no goals. nothing to work towards. nothing to achieve. 

 

people my age getting married, buying houses, having kids and filling their life with that but i dont really see that happening for me. no social life to speak of and not enough friends to make new ones from.

people tell me "get out their", "meet new people" but i have yet to understand what they mean by that. i cant just start asking people on the street if the wanna be friends.

 

so thats it. thats where im at. im not really sure why i posted this here anymore but it felt nice writing it down and maybe some of you have input on this or maybe get what i mean a bit and can relate. maybe discussing this might shed some new light for me and others.

[RuffRuffmcgruff]

Writing down your thoughts can defintely have a therapeutic effect.

 

I'd ask yourself the question, do you want to change? Do you want to get married, buy a house, have kids? Some people don't.

 

I'm 25, i've only had 1 real girlfriend and that ended when i was 20. For me I don't need a relationship to be happy, same way you might not need all the other stuff to be happy.

 

A job is a good thing to have but it isn't the be all end all. What most people mean when telling you to get out there and meet new people tends to be, go down your local pub or bar and just have a couple of drinks. You'll end up naturally talking to people and you never know what'll happen from that.

 

If you can't think of anything that you want to strive for that's fine, it only took me until last month to finally decide on a major part of moving foward in life, buying a house. From the word go life is a rush that adults push onto you, at least it was like that for me. I didn't want to rush and that might be the same with you. Take your time, we live in a mad, crazy, wonderful universe filled with ups and downs. Take each day as it comes and do you.

 

I'm always a PM away hope i could help in some small way.

[cluelessgenius]

2 minutes ago, RuffRuffmcgruff said:

Writing down your thoughts can defintely have a therapeutic effect.

 

I'd ask yourself the question, do you want to change? Do you want to get married, buy a house, have kids? Some people don't.

 

I'm 25, i've only had 1 real girlfriend and that ended when i was 20. For me I don't need a relationship to be happy, same way you might not need all the other stuff to be happy.

well thats all good and fine but if not that then what. truth is im not sure what i want. it does look fun but then again i feel helpless even if i wanted all that.

Quote

A job is a good thing to have but it isn't the be all end all. What most people mean when telling you to get out there and meet new people tends to be, go down your local pub or bar and just have a couple of drinks. You'll end up naturally talking to people and you never know what'll happen from that.

i know i know but it is one life goal i took as an example thats pushed onto you as you phrased it. also the bar makes me feel uncomfortable. like any gathering of people i dont know. probably the fear of non-acceptance.

Quote

From the word go life is a rush that adults push onto you, at least it was like that for me. I didn't want to rush and neither do you. Take your time, we live in a mad, crazy, wonderful universe filled with ups and downs. Take each day as it comes and do you.

 

I'm always a PM away hope i could help in some small way.

ok now it just sounds like im suicidal or something . but thanks for the offer though.

[Peskanova]

went through same , but It seems that my job that took me 12 hours (8 working the rest traveling + eating) is making forget about my depresion , And when that bitch comes in I just shut up with tons of consumism (aka corsair k95 rgb plat, 400$ on headphones + dac/amp , 165hz 1440p monitor, there are tons of things to spend!) XDD nah just joking but take a dog ( I have a parrot + a dog) that would force you to care about doing things in your free time , and I have a gf but never intend to have kids or settle a family there are tons of people that dont priorize those things ( I had a bad time on my 16 to 20's  because of that but thats normal at that age I think)  now I'm 28 I drive my own life do what I want that is enjoying a good afternoon with my friends , playing a game online or just walking my dog every sunday morning to the bakery  

[Guest]

 

1 hour ago, cluelessgenius said:

for years now i have been dealing with depression.

Everyone has. You can be an emo annoyance or just be happy with your life. Don’t kill yourself because that’s being emo & selfish. Just stop being sad & realize what’s good in your life. Don’t find excuses to be sad. You told me you GET to have an education, you GET to go to college & you GET to have a job, you GET to have friends having kids & getting married, you GET to play PC games because you GET to own your own PC. 

1 hour ago, cluelessgenius said:

Something something job that was snipped... 

but what then?

Then you have kids! 

1 hour ago, cluelessgenius said:

i now have a good job. so now what?

Now you GET to go to work. The thing you strived to get to do to pay bills instead of a job you didn’t want. 

1 hour ago, cluelessgenius said:

i cant just start asking people on the street if the wanna be friends.

Why not? 

1 hour ago, cluelessgenius said:

so thats it. thats where im at

Just start having fun. Join a community gaming group, record some cool moments & put them on YouTube. Life is less depressing with friends. 

 

[cluelessgenius]

3 minutes ago, Peskanova said:

went through same , but It seems that my job that took me 12 hours (8 working the rest traveling + eating) is making forget about my depresion , And when that bitch comes in I just shut up with tons of consumism (aka corsair k95 rgb plat, 400$ on headphones + dac/amp , 165hz 1440p monitor, there are tons of things to spend!) XDD

pretty much yeah. my whole rig mostly unneccessary for the 2 hours of gaming i do a week.

Quote

nah just joking but take a dog ( I have a parrot + a dog) that would force you to care about doing things in your free time , and I have a gf but never intend to have kids or settle a family there are tons of people that dont priorize those things ( I had a bad time on my 16 to 20's  because of that but thats normal at that age I think)  now I'm 28 I drive my own life do what I want that is enjoying a good afternoon with my friends , playing a game online or just walking my dog every sunday morning to the bakery  

sounds nice. sadly i dont think getting a pet would be fair to the animal. honestly i have wanted a dog for so long but i live in a rather smallish apartment and spent like 10ish hours at work every day i fear i would have enough time for the animal. and im not really sure how so many people do it. 

[cluelessgenius]

5 minutes ago, fpo said:

snip

i feel like you dont really get it and you sound really agressive with all that.

thanks for your input but i think you just dont get it

7 minutes ago, fpo said:

Don’t kill yourself because that’s being emo & selfish.

never said anything about that. also calling people names for sharing their feelings is exactly why so many people feel like they cant share at all. 

8 minutes ago, fpo said:

Just stop being sad 

thats one of my favorites. if one is lazy = "just stop being lazy, get up and ..." if one is sad "just stop feeling sad..." if one is doesnt understand something "just stop being dumb..." ...ignorance

11 minutes ago, fpo said:

Just start having fun.

is another great example of whats not helpful to say to someone with depression

 

but thanks for participating

 

[Peskanova]

33 minutes ago, cluelessgenius said:

sadly i dont think getting a pet would be fair to the animal. honestly i have wanted a dog for so long but i live in a rather smallish apartment and spent like 10ish hours at work every day i fear i would have enough time for the animal. and im not really sure how so many people do it. 

My family runs a dog hotel and I live my entire life around dogs and I can say that If you take a small dog those 10 hours at first will be a pain for you and your dog but that could be the first week , then you will have hurry everyday to look for your doggo  

PHOTOSSSSS TO CHEER YOU!

when my dog came (2 months old) -> this is my phone wallpaper

and last 2 where taken this year!
 

[Techicolors]

1 hour ago, cluelessgenius said:

so i thought i write this down here since you guys are pretty much the only community i feel close enough to to talk about this,

i think i know where you're coming from. i deal with depression for a while 

 

you are right that no one can tell what you want to do in life. for me i'm not sure either. but there must be some interests you can expand on. you say PCs and gaming, both perfectly valid. tho it seems you want something more? those things serves as distractions, so to you not really things you can work on further

 

working day after day. i mean, we all need money somehow. we pay our dues i think. perhaps budget so you can go on vacation, see the world. 

 

do you want to get married, buy a house? not everyone wants that. i think keyword is 'want', serves as a goals in life

 

the social life aspect i can see tho. i think when people say to 'get out there', it's to put themselves out there. be enthusiastic, confident, nice to know. get to know the person/people. if it works out, just tell them you want to hang out more. but you can't befriend everyone. be aware that you are who you hang out with, cut ties with toxic people

 

fear of non-acceptance is hard to get over. i think just trying will go a long way. that is all there is, try. put yourself in uncomfortable situations, maybe you can learn to deal with it and come out better. of course don't go overboard, it is also exploring limits 

 

honestly it's good that you are sharing. for me i find it relieving to share my thoughts even if it's on the internet. keeping it inside tears anyone apart, it's not healthy 

[WereCatf]

2 hours ago, cluelessgenius said:

so i work away day after day and nothing changes. no goals. nothing to work towards. nothing to achieve. 

People are always taught from little kids that you need to always be achieving something, but....have you actually thought whether you want to achieve anything? I came to the conclusion myself years ago that I have no need to ever achieve anything worth mentioning, I'm perfectly happy just spending my days doing whatever I just happen to feel like doing at the moment. It's not what the society teaches you, it's not what everyone is always telling you, but, well, I just don't care -- my life is mine and I decide what I want.

[LinusOnLine]

Do you get any medical help for your depression? It has really helped me with my depression. Also a great way to meet new people is to sign up for an evening class in something you are interested in. That way you already have that interest in common.

[ApusDot]

Sometimes what you eat causes depression, especially a vitamin/protein/mineral, etc, deficiency. 

Not enough sunlight or vitamin D as well. 

 

Exercise is the best "solution" for depression. If it doesn't make it go away, it will at least lessen it.

[Yoinkerman]

Didn't read beyond the first post but it sounds like you need some hobbies outside of the house.

 

Take a painting class, go golfing, join a Facebook group, etc.

[IAmAndre]

I also think that life's too short to limit yours to work. Have you considered travelling, going to a different country/continent to find out what life has to offer. Maybe your happiness isn't where you are currently.

[jones177]

I dealt with depression buy creating something every day. The things I created were not that good at first since I have no real talent but I persevered and eventually got good.  

I did 2D game creation at first. Then 3D art, 3D animation, 3D content for video games and later 3D design. All the types of things you can do on your computer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

[dalekphalm]

8 hours ago, cluelessgenius said:

so i thought i write this down here since you guys are pretty much the only community i feel close enough to to talk about this,

 

for years now i have been dealing with depression.

 

sometimes more sometimes less depending on what i can distract myself with (pc building and gaming being part of that)

i just ran out of goals in life i guess.

here is what i mean.

 

from a very young age you get your goals dictated to you beginning with "do your homework" and then "achieve good grades on your exams" so you can "get good grades on your annual report card" so you can "get a good degree" and "go to a better college/university" so you can "get a good job" 

 

but what then?

 

i now have a good job. so now what? nobody can tell you what to do with your life. and apparently i dont know on my own.

 

so i work away day after day and nothing changes. no goals. nothing to work towards. nothing to achieve. 

 

people my age getting married, buying houses, having kids and filling their life with that but i dont really see that happening for me. no social life to speak of and not enough friends to make new ones from.

people tell me "get out their", "meet new people" but i have yet to understand what they mean by that. i cant just start asking people on the street if the wanna be friends.

 

so thats it. thats where im at. im not really sure why i posted this here anymore but it felt nice writing it down and maybe some of you have input on this or maybe get what i mean a bit and can relate. maybe discussing this might shed some new light for me and others.

Have you seen a doctor about this?
 

Depression is serious and is indeed a medical condition that can be managed and treated.

 

Starting with your family doctor/GP is the best place to start, usually, and you can get referrals to specialists, therapists, etc.

 

Treatment doesn't necessarily involve drugs, but if your brain has a chemical imbalance, you might have to come to terms that medication is the way to treatment.

 

In my experience, most people I know that suffer from depression fall into the problem where once they feel "better" (aka "cured") they stop taking their medication, which just makes the whole thing start all over again. Now, should you be taking medication? Fuck if I know. I'm not a doctor.

 

Anyway, stay positive, but seek treatment immediately.

[dalekphalm]

7 hours ago, fpo said:

 

Everyone has. You can be an emo annoyance or just be happy with your life. Don’t kill yourself because that’s being emo & selfish. Just stop being sad & realize what’s good in your life. Don’t find excuses to be sad. You told me you GET to have an education, you GET to go to college & you GET to have a job, you GET to have friends having kids & getting married, you GET to play PC games because you GET to own your own PC. 

Then you have kids! 

Now you GET to go to work. The thing you strived to get to do to pay bills instead of a job you didn’t want. 

Why not? 

Just start having fun. Join a community gaming group, record some cool moments & put them on YouTube. Life is less depressing with friends. 

 

Basically everything you just said is wrong.

 

First, "just stop being sad" is the most horseshit and worthless piece of advice you could give to some with Depression.

 

Remember, Depression isn't feeling sad. Feeling sad is just feeling sad. Depression is a potentially serious issue and is often caused by a chemical imbalance. When you're in the "down" phase, you can't just "stop being sad".

 

I'm not trying to be insulting or aggressive to you, but yeah... I'm sorry to say that most of what you said is unlikely to be helpful to anyone who has depression.

[ApusDot]

3 hours ago, IAmAndre said:

I also think that life's too short to limit yours to work. Have you considered travelling, going to a different country/continent to find out what life has to offer. Maybe your happiness isn't where you are currently.

I've always had that feeling or desire. But I think people who feel like that are just wanting to run away from themselves thinking that a new place will make them feel differently. But maybe it's just me.

[Panic637]

Diet is super important, as well as fitness.  My mental state did not improve until I cut out processed foods and started exercising vigorously everyday.  Hobbies outside of computers help, especially if you work in the tech industry.

[cluelessgenius]

16 hours ago, WereCatf said:

People are always taught from little kids that you need to always be achieving something, but....have you actually thought whether you want to achieve anything? I came to the conclusion myself years ago that I have no need to ever achieve anything worth mentioning, I'm perfectly happy just spending my days doing whatever I just happen to feel like doing at the moment. It's not what the society teaches you, it's not what everyone is always telling you, but, well, I just don't care -- my life is mine and I decide what I want.

i cant handle that. with nothing left to achieve. no goals left to reach. i mean whats the point if youre not striving towards something. i guess i determine my value by the things i accomplish like most people do. 

13 hours ago, LinusOnLine said:

Do you get any medical help for your depression? It has really helped me with my depression. Also a great way to meet new people is to sign up for an evening class in something you are interested in. That way you already have that interest in common.

1. no meds here. i dont rust pharma companies to fuck with my brain chemistry. also i feel that doesnt help to find purpose in life just makes you feel OK about the way it is. 

2. thats exactly my problem i literally have no interests what so ever. real awkward any time iget asked about my hobbies. i just find everything either sounds boring as fuck or is like mega expensive.

12 hours ago, ApusDot said:

Sometimes what you eat causes depression, especially a vitamin/protein/mineral, etc, deficiency. 

Not enough sunlight or vitamin D as well. 

 

Exercise is the best "solution" for depression. If it doesn't make it go away, it will at least lessen it.

trying that right now. have been going on runs in the evening. works as a distraction  but only as long as im running.

12 hours ago, Yoinkerman said:

Didn't read beyond the first post but it sounds like you need some hobbies outside of the house.

 

Take a painting class, go golfing, join a Facebook group, etc.

the problem is that those all sound horrible to me. to quote southpark "i might have a very rare disease where everthing looks and sounds like shit - its called being a cynical asshole". no but really i just fail to get excited over any of the activities other people do

12 hours ago, IAmAndre said:

I also think that life's too short to limit yours to work. Have you considered travelling, going to a different country/continent to find out what life has to offer. Maybe your happiness isn't where you are currently.

sounds expensive and also the only things i would like to see is like really expensive. but you right i could use of time somewhere cool. i guess ill research what place sounds the most interesting

10 hours ago, jones177 said:

I dealt with depression buy creating something every day. The things I created were not that good at first since I have no real talent but I persevered and eventually got good.  

I did 2D game creation at first. Then 3D art, 3D animation, 3D content for video games and later 3D design. All the types of things you can do on your computer.

the thing is i have to many started projects that i need to finally finish lying around already anyway. 

10 hours ago, dalekphalm said:

Have you seen a doctor about this?
 

Depression is serious and is indeed a medical condition that can be managed and treated.

 

Starting with your family doctor/GP is the best place to start, usually, and you can get referrals to specialists, therapists, etc.

 

Treatment doesn't necessarily involve drugs, but if your brain has a chemical imbalance, you might have to come to terms that medication is the way to treatment.

 

In my experience, most people I know that suffer from depression fall into the problem where once they feel "better" (aka "cured") they stop taking their medication, which just makes the whole thing start all over again. Now, should you be taking medication? Fuck if I know. I'm not a doctor.

 

Anyway, stay positive, but seek treatment immediately.

i really dont trust doctors in general but psychologists even less. i have problems letting people in already and im supposed to let someone in whos literal job it is to reprogram people. back in the day i tried to talk to guidance counselor (for lack of a better word) in college but i kept being skeptical about every sentence she spoke. it sounded to nice. i felt talked down to. like how you would talk to a child to calm it down from a tantrum. so either shes manipulating me or her so called guidance is literally useless. if you have a conversation with someone either you are intellectually superior to them or they are to you. in case of #1 their tipps about life are useless. in case of the latter i cant trust them to not have a hidden agenda behind their words. i know sounds stupid 

 

9 hours ago, ApusDot said:

I've always had that feeling or desire. But I think people who feel like that are just wanting to run away from themselves thinking that a new place will make them feel differently. But maybe it's just me.

yeah i also fear that going away for a couple of days might feel fun but coming back into the same mess you were in before might ...idk

8 hours ago, Panic637 said:

Diet is super important, as well as fitness.  My mental state did not improve until I cut out processed foods and started exercising vigorously everyday.  Hobbies outside of computers help, especially if you work in the tech industry.

well im trying that right now but running for example only helps while i run. 

[IAmAndre]

20 minutes ago, cluelessgenius said:

sounds expensive and also the only things i would like to see is like really expensive

Nope, it doesn't have to be expensive. Anyone can travel, regardless of your budget. If you can't afford to visit another continent, you can't visit a country nearby. If you can't visit a country nearby, you can visit a town nearby. If you can visit a town nearby, you can visit a neighborhood nearby. I don't know, the point is there's always something to discover.

Wherever you go, you don't have to do the most expensive things.

[RuffRuffmcgruff]

18 hours ago, cluelessgenius said:

well thats all good and fine but if not that then what. truth is im not sure what i want. it does look fun but then again i feel helpless even if i wanted all that.

Then that's fine if you don't want that, you are you, not what society deems you to be. How do you find your job? Do you enjoy it? I mean a large portion of people tolerate a job but if you enjoy it, it definitely helps. To me it sounds like a holiday would be perfect for you, go somewhere you've never been before. I can highly recommend Amsterdam as a paradise of total relaxation.

18 hours ago, cluelessgenius said:

i know i know but it is one life goal i took as an example thats pushed onto you as you phrased it. also the bar makes me feel uncomfortable. like any gathering of people i dont know. probably the fear of non-acceptance.

Ok so think of somewhere else that you would feel comfortable in, whether that's in a forum, in a game, going fishing, shopping, even just going for a 5 minute walk a day just to get out of the norm. Obviously we're different people, so things that helped me through rough times aren't going to be as helpful for you. FInd what you totally 100% enjoy and run with it, if you can't think of anything then don't worry you're still not ready to lift yourself out of a depression. Everyone needs time to be sad and that's ok.

18 hours ago, cluelessgenius said:

ok now it just sounds like im suicidal or something . but thanks for the offer though.

I've been there and know how lonely a place it is, just remember you'll never walk alone.

[cluelessgenius]

14 hours ago, IAmAndre said:

Nope, it doesn't have to be expensive. Anyone can travel, regardless of your budget. If you can't afford to visit another continent, you can't visit a country nearby. If you can't visit a country nearby, you can visit a town nearby. If you can visit a town nearby, you can visit a neighborhood nearby. I don't know, the point is there's always something to discover.

Wherever you go, you don't have to do the most expensive things.

well everything but the expensive stuff sound boring...kinda. maybe i just dont know whats around here to discover but Tokyo or Australia for example just sounds way more interesting than seeing pretty much the same towns and cities i have here. i was thinking of going to LTX but the flight and hotel around that time would run me like 2k alone 

 

14 hours ago, RuffRuffmcgruff said:

Then that's fine if you don't want that, you are you, not what society deems you to be. How do you find your job? Do you enjoy it? I mean a large portion of people tolerate a job but if you enjoy it, it definitely helps. To me it sounds like a holiday would be perfect for you, go somewhere you've never been before. I can highly recommend Amsterdam as a paradise of total relaxation.

well i did like the field but obviously the actual job isnt always what you imagined. programming is really fun for me but as part of a huge company you usually just do your tiny part towards the greater software and it doesnt feel as reqarding as writing something from start to finish maybe using bleeding edge technologies like i used to do i college. im not excited about my job anymore but at the same time i cant imagine id be happier anywhere else.

Quote

Ok so think of somewhere else that you would feel comfortable in, whether that's in a forum, in a game, going fishing, shopping, even just going for a 5 minute walk a day just to get out of the norm. Obviously we're different people, so things that helped me through rough times aren't going to be as helpful for you. FInd what you totally 100% enjoy and run with it, if you can't think of anything then don't worry you're still not ready to lift yourself out of a depression. Everyone needs time to be sad and that's ok.

i have always been tinkering. engineering, programming allows me to create pretty much what i want at this point. my rig is half done, all the lights are smart but not controlled smartly yet, my android auto project for the car isnt done, i just started making a smart mirror but its not done. i have a lot of ideas. tinkering makes me happy BUT i loose interest quickly or get demotivated by some more complex piece of work. i guess i just lack the will to power trough and finish the projects i start.

Quote

..., just remember you'll never walk alone.

not sure what you mean. it sure feels like it. i have in the past thought about how many people would come to my funeral one day and that thought sure didnt help. also everyone got their own problems and from past experiences ive been lead to the conclusion nobody is gonna help you. because nobody cares. no one always wants to have to lift up the killjoys mood. 

if you have real world problems no one cares cause they got their own and if you have psych issues no one can relate so you phrases like "chin up" "its gonna be better" - but it isnt and after a while people get tired of hearing about it. understandably if selfish

[Guest]

I'm in this train too since 7 or 8 years
 

I could just say half of the time the problem was also me, but just because the majority of "normal" people just do not care about how you feel, what kind of shit you have, this is how life is, if you appear costantly "sad" with the others or whining more than they can handle, they will just start to isolate you even if you are the kindest guy ever or never did something wrong, they will start treating you like shit, only talk to you when you are needed to do something for them, (Specific case, if you are a woman is common they will still talk to you just because you got the hole down there) in my case I was not always and costantly whining, i was just alone and never had a true friendship, I consider myself a good person to be friends with but there is no rule in life that a nice and kind person has a better life than the others, obviously with "better life" since this is my reason I'm primarly depressed, I mean friends that actually are interested about you and the possibility even a girl would even consider liking you, I'm being too harsh but if you don't find some intelligent people that actually care about others and know we cannot be all the same "generic behaving random dudes that only do care about sex in their life" and pretending to be happy everyday because you just do not have depression you are out of luck.
In my case in my life I only ever had true friends and girlfriennds who are far from me, because I'm not living in the best place ever (people understimate this) and my parents too do not have friends in there since we moved, which is another unlucky situation I also got
 

And there is this other fact, some people really believe being sad is the same as depression, seriously what the actual fuck? This is the thing a depressed person should never hear because he will eventualy going into some mindfucking state in his brain even more, with that said there are also some kind of different depression out there, an example is one you can have when a person you loved dies, how the fuck you can tell a people to "deal with it, stop whining"?
Depression is a complicate mental state illness caused by a matter and intricate couple of situations and things we really can't get done, or can't deal with it, we can either be lucky they are easy to solve or stupid things which in that case if you are being told to move yourself to solve they are partially true, even if this is not the wrong method to exit from that situation, I'm in the opinion most of the times is just something we have to care by ourselves, because we are the only one who really know what we want.

There is no "comparing problems to the others" and if you start comparing things, sorry but you are stupid.
 

This is just how life is, if you are unlucky or you have no possibility to improve your situation there is no thing you can do about it excepion for "medicines", no one will treat or help you if you got some problems unless you pay some doctor or have some good friends, just your decision up there

In my situation I just ended up getting over it about all and started behaving like the "others", with that I specifically mean do not really care about someone you just met or some friends you can not completely trust because you are kind (the worst thing a person could be imo) and just starting taking advantage on the others because the important thing in your life is YOU, not the other people, you can just return favors but always demand something back or they will start just taking advantage on you, this is not friendship, it's just how the others see "being your friend", I also started being really really less emotive at the point I'm half catatonic everyday and barely interested in caring about people at all, again with exceptions made (how it should be imo)
Also, since it's obvious people do not care about you, I stopped talking about my problems or expressing depression in public, exception for some really good friends obviously, I mean, I'm also pissed from some people who are costantly whining without doing something in their life and I barely know them. Or some kind of attention whoring which is NOT depression
But I do not consider myself not depressed anymore after all, I still have to get a job and no one is going to gift me one, and I still do not have IRL friends or a girlfriend, in this period I jalso just watch interesting youtube videos which keeps my mind occupied, or do some guides to help others (I said I do not care about the others but that's different, I just want to spread my knowledge)
I will still be depressed but I could handle that if only I had a job or money, so I could start going out with my friends on other cities.
The also main fact I'm depressed is the fact there are not many people like me who like to have true friendship, so I'm just stuck in there, I'm just aware of this.
"non depressed people" may not even be aware of something because they spent no time alone for example, we can talk about this everyday.

Anyway, it's just my opinion but, I don't think this should be the place to talk about those things, I mean there are just lot of too many people out there and it just happened that someone do not know absolutely anything on how to talk with people with those kind of issues and will just be in the wrong place, pretending the fact they were never been depressed will justify their statements, which is the most stupid thing.

Can you tell me how the fuck you are supposed to make friends just entering a random bar and asking someone to be their friend?
Excuse me? That's now how it works, and people will just make fun of you, there is no specific rule to make friends, you just make one depending on the specific situation, and randomly going to a bar IS NOT the best place to start. Unless you do not care about what others think (which is something a depressed people sometimes does)
I would start making fun of you unless you are interesting and do not seem an ass*ole, why should I start talking to you if I do not know you? How a depressed people with no friend should make one in this situation? He will just end up getting more depressed again. It's an half-paradox and there is no solution to that, you can just be lucky or not.
The reality is: YOU COULD make some friends entering a bar, like you can when going to school, or make other friends of a friend you actually have, etc. you just do not know.

Edited February 14, 2019 by Guest

[Yoinkerman]

Most of being an adult is doing things you really don't care to do and do it anyway.

 

Going out and doing things doesn't have to be different