tips for self confidence and asking a girl out

[glitchmaster0001]

Hi, so I know that what I am going to say is off topic and if you guys think that this shouldn't be on this forum then feel free to remove it. So the tech world has really changed my life and that is why I’m asking you guys out there about it. A little background about me is that I’m a junior in high school and I’m 16 almost 17. When I was in middle school up till I was a sophomore in high school I was generally a bad person in middle school. I was an asshole to my friends and people around me. in 8th grade I found out that a girl liked me and I liked her too. I then asked her out and when we were dating I had no confidence in dating her and worried that after 8th grade we'd go to different high schools. So I then rudely dumped her and I now understand why she hates me till this day. I look back at what happened in middle school and still regret it.

Then when I was a freshman in high school I met a nice girl that I managed to make friends with. we hung out together and with her friends, in the summer of my freshman year me and her got into this big argument that later led to our friendship being broken and that was due to me being immature and dishonest from the start to her and her friends. Sophomore year flies by with her and her friends hating me (no big surprise) and possibly holding a grudge against me. During all those years I also got in trouble and suspended a lot from school.

Then came the summer of my sophomore year and one day when me and my dad went to Best Buy I met a guy that worked at intel that was at best buy representing the release of windows 10. I told him that I liked to do PC gaming and he told me that there are lots of opportunities for PC gamers than you think. then at the end of that summer I built my first computer.

Now here I am almost done with junior year, I turned myself around from being a 1.7 GPA slacker student to a 3.8 GPA student, even though I turned myself around I still can’t regain my self-confidence after what happened in my middle school and early high school years. all of my immature mistakes still haunt me today, and I don’t know how to put them behind me and regain my self-confidence.

I will admit that back then in middle school and early high school I tried to be a "cool kid" and pretended to be someone that I am not. Now those days are behind me and I am tired of running from who I am. I now consider myself to be a dork/nerd/geek/loser. I always was one but just refused to accept in and tried to run away from it. the reason why I wrote this post was to ask for advice for helping me regain my self-confidence and hopefully enough to ask a girl out or something. hopefully someone in the same or similar boat as me reads this post. I’m sorry for my long story and also for how off topic this post is. I just don’t know who else I can talk to about this. thank you for taking your time reading this. I know that time is a precious commodity but thanks again for reading this.

[Vivilacqua1]

Don't?

[glitchmaster0001]

6 minutes ago, Vivilacqua1 said:

Don't?

??? what do you mean?

[terrytek]

dude, just make some friends who are popular. make good friendships too. it wouldn't make sense to be friends with a douchy jock who loves bullying kids for lunch money. then until you have the balls to ask a girl out, wait on asking someone out.

[glitchmaster0001]

11 minutes ago, terrytek said:

dude, just make some friends who are popular. make good friendships too. it wouldn't make sense to be friends with a douchy jock who loves bullying kids for lunch money. then until you have the balls to ask a girl out, wait on asking someone out.

if your saying to wait until im out of high school then i would agree with you. i honestly cannont see anything good about high school other than getting your high school diploma and learning basic skills for life. believe me i want to get my diploma, then ill do community college then transfer to a 4 year college

[Vivilacqua1]

12 hours ago, glitchmaster0001 said:

??? what do you mean?

Grills just aren't worth the trouble. Best to spend your time and money on things more important to you; Your friends and your hobbies.

 

as for self confidence, It's the other way. I'm not the one to tell you to "make new friends", but I can say that meeting new people and wearing clothes that you like more (I went from v-necks to light flannels) can make you feel loads better. Also give compliments to people, weather you know them or not. It forces them to compliment you back. Lol, ignore that last part. But telling other people the things you like about them will make everyone feel good.

[Blucyrik]

13 hours ago, glitchmaster0001 said:

all of my immature mistakes still haunt me today, and i dont know how to put them behind me and regain my self confidence.

Here's how: Don't bring yourself down from those mistakes, learn from them.

 

As a Computer Science major in College (basically the definition of a nerd) I remember in high school I was the exact same way. I just moved on. Shit happens.

 

Trust me when I say this: you're not the only person who goes through this stuff. Everyone has had their share of awkward or bad experiences with someone. Don't let the past haunt you, let it educate you. What would you have done differently? Is there anything you could have done differently? Think of these decisions and apply them to the future.

 

And P.S: High school relationships are stupid. Wait till college

[glitchmaster0001]

2 hours ago, Blucyrik said:

Here's how: Don't bring yourself down from those mistakes, learn from them.

 

As a Computer Science major in College (basically the definition of a nerd) I remember in high school I was the exact same way. I just moved on. Shit happens.

 

Trust me when I say this: you're not the only person who goes through this stuff. Everyone has had their share of awkward or bad experiences with someone. Don't let the past haunt you, let it educate you. What would you have done differently? Is there anything you could have done differently? Think of these decisions and apply them to the future.

 

And P.S: High school relationships are stupid. Wait till college

thanks i though that i had to go back and make the past right again but moving on and forgetting about the past is a good idea. after all its just high school, not like you ever see your classmates ever again after it and if you do its maybe just a glance or a sup at the least and maybe a 5 min talk at the most.  

[Blucyrik]

1 minute ago, glitchmaster0001 said:

thanks i though that i had to go back and make the past right again but moving on and forgetting about the past is a good idea. after all its just high school, not like you ever see your classmates ever again after it and if you do its maybe just a glance or a sup at the least and maybe a 5 min talk at the most.  

YES. EXACTLY. That's exactly how you should handle it. Glad you understand that mindset!

 

Don't bother with the past, look towards the future. It's best that way.

[dalekphalm]

Before I even bother reading that MASSIVE WALL OF TEXT...

 

Dude..

Bro...

Guy...

 

Make some fucking sentences and paragraphs in that monster. Put some line spaces here and there. C'mon.

 

(Now on to try and read the wall of text)

[glitchmaster0001]

1 hour ago, dalekphalm said:

Before I even bother reading that MASSIVE WALL OF TEXT...

 

Dude..

Bro...

Guy...

 

Make some fucking sentences and paragraphs in that monster. Put some line spaces here and there. C'mon.

 

(Now on to try and read the wall of text)

lol you want an MLA format essay? i can edit it that way if you want.

done

[BuckGup]

Everyday now I see more posts about grills. I will say three things. 

1) You are in High School. You are a boy and a part of growing up is hormones. You will not marry this person and they will cause more trouble then intended.

2) You are going to break up which will cause you to be sad blah blah and then you don't want to do anything, your grades suffer, you get in a car crash, and bam you are disabled in a wheel chair because you didn't listen to a person you thought was crazy on a tech forum.

3) Finally the costs involved. You have to buy chocolates, and roses, and yuck. Save yourself some time, being disabled, and money and please buy this instead and wait until you have a career to date someone.

 

[glitchmaster0001]

4 hours ago, SamStrecker said:

Everyday now I see more posts about grills. I will say three things. 

1) You are in High School. You are a boy and a part of growing up is hormones. You will not marry this person and they will cause more trouble then intended.

2) You are going to break up which will cause you to be sad blah blah and then you don't want to do anything, your grades suffer, you get in a car crash, and bam you are disabled in a wheel chair because you didn't listen to a person you thought was crazy on a tech forum.

3) Finally the costs involved. You have to buy chocolates, and roses, and yuck. Save yourself some time, being disabled, and money and please buy this instead and wait until you have a career to date someone.

 

lol but you do bring up a valid point. i barely have enough money to get myself lunch everyday so there is no reason to bother with trying to get a girl at this age. plus the young and hormones are a valid point as well

[Tocsin_786]

On 3/19/2016 at 11:00 PM, glitchmaster0001 said:

-Story-

 

I mostly skimmed the post since its getting late. But i had to reply because i felt that it pertains to my current situation (or at least i hope it does). So in my college English class there is this girl that i was gonna ask out last Thursday. Everything literally fell into place. It didn't rain that night, we were the first ones to get out the class (it literally felt like a movie where we mirrored each other to the exit, taking the same steps and opposite sides of stairs to the exit) I had every chance to ask her out and i blew it. I didn't ask her out because i thought there was someone walking behind me and so i got nervous. Then i looked behind me and no one was there. Then all i see is her walking away and cant see her for 2 weeks (spring break). I completely blew it. you need to go for it with all you can. If you get rejected then it is not the end of the world. But you will never know till you try. 

[AlTech]

19 hours ago, Vivilacqua1 said:

Grills just aren't worth the trouble. Best to spend your time and money on things more important to you; Your friends and your hobbies.

 

as for self confidence, It's the other way. I'm not the one to tell you to "make new friends", but I can say that meeting new people and wearing clothes that you like more (I went from v-necks to light flannels) can make you feel loads better. Also give compliments to people, weather you know them or not. It forces them to compliment you back. Lol, ignore that last part. But telling other people the things you like about them will make everyone feel good.

Yeah grills just aren't. I mean you need Charcoal, some food to cook and a lot of time on your hands.

 

LMAO . Girls on the other hand can be worth your time. If they genuinely like you and absolutely unconditionally love you. At OP's age that just won't happen so that's a bummer.

[glitchmaster0001]

5 hours ago, AluminiumTech said:

Yeah grills just aren't. I mean you need Charcoal, some food to cook and a lot of time on your hands.

 

LMAO . Girls on the other hand can be worth your time. If they genuinely like you and absolutely unconditionally love you. At OP's age that just won't happen so that's a bummer.

maybe later on i think high school isn't worth it now

[Viking Kong]

As for getting over mistakes in the past....The past is irrelevant, learn from it and move on. What we really only have is the present, so make use of it. 

[glitchmaster0001]

On March 20, 2016 at 9:48 PM, Tocsin_786 said:

I mostly skimmed the post since its getting late. But i had to reply because i felt that it pertains to my current situation (or at least i hope it does). So in my college English class there is this girl that i was gonna ask out last Thursday. Everything literally fell into place. It didn't rain that night, we were the first ones to get out the class (it literally felt like a movie where we mirrored each other to the exit, taking the same steps and opposite sides of stairs to the exit) I had every chance to ask her out and i blew it. I didn't ask her out because i thought there was someone walking behind me and so i got nervous. Then i looked behind me and no one was there. Then all i see is her walking away and cant see her for 2 weeks (spring break). I completely blew it. you need to go for it with all you can. If you get rejected then it is not the end of the world. But you will never know till you try. 

Sorry for the late response, I didn't see you post until I reread this thread. The downside is that I have the fear of taking that kind of rejection. I don't know it probably was due to what I said earlier above in the post that made me lose my confidence. And plus I don't know how to ask a girl out even. Is it like I ask her if she wants to get coffee or something? 

[maulemall]

As a Father of a "grill" in High school please take this the way it's intended... Stay the fuck away from my daughter. She has enough crap in her life to do other than to deal with some kid who spends his days on a computer asking guys what he should do.

You're not FUN.

 BE FUN.

HAVE FUN.

 

[SparkyRain]

On 19.3.2016 at 5:04 AM, glitchmaster0001 said:

lol but you do bring up a valid point. i barely have enough money to get myself lunch everyday so there is no reason to bother with trying to get a girl at this age. plus the young and hormones are a valid point as well

Aside you don't have to buy stuff unless you want a goldigger. Neither one of these "ladies" are looking for a stable relationship at this age. They aren't worth it, yet  Such thoughtfull things will come later to their head. 

 

None of my past boyfriends had fancy stuff, one not even a car. Or fancy dates. That's shit only cheap girls care about. Nah never dated them for what they have, instead for who they are. 

 

And you overthinking everything way way too much. Nothing of this drama will ever matter with asking someone out. They like you, or not, just let it happen. But don't change yourself for someone else. Self aware = self confident. You might wanna sit down for a moment, and make it clear for yourself who you are representing or if these goals are even realistic.

[D4RK]

On 3/19/2016 at 7:00 AM, glitchmaster0001 said:

snip

if u are still in the same place and didnt move, then go and apologize to the first girl and explain why u left her, u will make both u and her feel better, then depending on if u think u were at fault with the second girl then apologize to her as well, once you have done that you will feel better.

about dating girls, just dont waste your time over thinking about it, it will happen when it happen.

[Omon_Ra]

TL:DR, but my thoughts: Don't worry about it, it's high school. Yeah, it seems like a big deal now, but it's only 4 years of your life (hopefully). Think of everyone you know as 'in beta' and in need of serious work (yourself included). I would like to say that people change, but plenty of people stay stuck in the 'high school' mentality; being caught up in thinking that popularity and all that crap matter. Don't be one of them. Just do your thing, you're the only one who can decide your happiness.

[Tocsin_786]

3 hours ago, glitchmaster0001 said:

Sorry for the late response, I didn't see you post until I reread this thread. The downside is that I have the fear of taking that kind of rejection. I don't know it probably was due to what I said earlier above in the post that made me lose my confidence. And plus I don't know how to ask a girl out even. Is it like I ask her if she wants to get coffee or something? 

yea. you need to give her choices when asking her out. I was gonna ask the girl "hey i was wondering if you would like to go to the aquarium (later a museum) in the city with me, and maybe later we can go have some lunch at this wonderful italian restaurant?" And if she rejected me then i had a piece of paper with my name and phone number and i would have said "well, if things ever change. give me a call".

[Citadelen]

I generally am quite a shy person, but, I managed to overcome that anxiety and shyness recently, by coming out to mu best friend, I was extremely worried, (even though he's an uber supportive person of gay people) I just took the plunge, and felt so much better afterwards. So my advice to you is if YOU feel as though she likes you, then you should ask, if you don't you'll regret it for a long time afterwards. In short no one here can give you your confidence, you have to find it, the worst thing you can do is give up. Remember that.

[Misanthrope]

Tip #1: Don't ask people for tips, have confidence in what you have to say and in your own approach. Fuck tactics and pep talks just talk to her if you feel like it and take your time.