Is My Roommate Cheating?

[MrImnotMLG]

So a little poll for you guys to ask if what my roommate is doing is wrong or not.

 

Background:

 

I go to college in Vermont and my roommate is from D.C. He has a "girlfriend" whom he has not broken up with but has expressed that he wishes to do so. He doesn't want to call it off until he has another girlfriend. He goes onto tinder(I mean really? He thinks he's going to find someone on there?) to try and find girls. Luckily the three dates in the past month he has attempted to go on have catfished him in different ways.

 

Because he has tried to go on dates with other girls, do you think he's cheating?

 

Edit: I know my comments seem to tell other wise but, I do NOT plan on confronting him again. This poll was more to see if I was wrong on what was going on.

[SlipperyPete]

absolute scumbag

he is stringing along this poor girl simply so he doesnt have to be "single" 

if you looked up douche-bag in the dictionary his picture would be next to it

[MrImnotMLG]

1 minute ago, SlipperyPete said:

absolute scumbag

he is stringing along this poor girl simply so he doesnt have to be "single" 

if you looked up douche-bag in the dictionary his picture would be next to it

Pretty sure that's why. I confronted him about it and also another one of his friends ans he fervently denies it. He even claims it was his mom's idea.

[dalekphalm]

Yes he is unoquivocally cheating on her. 

 

He might not have physically cheated on her (yet) but actively trying to go on a date with another person is close enough. 

 

Not wanting to be single is fucking stupid. Dump the gf, otherwise he’s just being a douche to her. 

[dalekphalm]

Just now, MrImnotMLG said:

Pretty sure that's why. I confronted him about it and also another one of his friends ans he fervently denies it. He even claims it was his mom's idea.

Okay... so that just means his mom is a douche too...

[Monte_Carlo]

So man isn't cheating because he hasn't successfully hasn't found a new person to string along?  

 

I'll say this.  Even if you fail a test you cheated on... you still cheated.  

[MrImnotMLG]

2 minutes ago, Monte_Carlo said:

So man isn't cheating because he hasn't successfully hasn't found a new person to string along?  

 

I'll say this.  Even if you fail a test you cheated on... you still cheated.  

A.) Yup. That's his mentality.

B.) I'll use that analogy the next time it comes up.

[Monte_Carlo]

1 minute ago, MrImnotMLG said:

A.) Yup. That's his mentality.

B.) I'll use that analogy the next time it comes up.

 

Why get involved in the drama at all?  You've said your part on this matter.  Your best bet will be to try and avoid the fallout when it comes around. 

[MrImnotMLG]

Just now, Monte_Carlo said:

 

Why get involved in the drama at all?  You've said your part on this matter.  Your best bet will be to try and avoid the fallout when it comes around. 

I won't get in his face about it. Just the next time he brings it up.

[Princess Luna]

Quite frankly I do not suppose you have any saying on your roomate's life style, even if what he is doing is very jerk-ass worthy you're indeed better off minding your own business.

[Prox1ma]

That is cheating yes. But you are better off staying away from all the drama.

[Clockwork_princess]

Don’t get into other peoples problems 

[Totallycasual]

I've always been of the opinion that you're kinda cheating if you do or say anything that you wouldn't be willing to do if your partner were sat in the same room with you. Sure its strict but its not a bad way to conduct yourself  

[TetraSky]

Why not tell his current GF about his cheating behavior? Or does she know and not care?

That way at least she can dump him, possibly publicly in front of everyone and feel slightly better about it.

[AshleyAshes]

12 hours ago, MrImnotMLG said:

A.) Yup. That's his mentality.

B.) I'll use that analogy the next time it comes up.

Are you stupid or something?  Don't discuss it with him at all.  He's half your rent and so unless you can afford a place on your own and associated moving costs, the only right move is to stay out of his shit entirely.  When co-habitating with other individuals it's always the smartest move to not take steps that produce unnecessary conflict.

[dalekphalm]

1 hour ago, AshleyAshes said:

Are you stupid or something?  Don't discuss it with him at all.  He's half your rent and so unless you can afford a place on your own and associated moving costs, the only right move is to stay out of his shit entirely.  When co-habitating with other individuals it's always the smartest move to not take steps that produce unnecessary conflict.

There’s definitely merit in that. Especially if this is a college roommate whom the OP otherwise has no attachment to (eg: it would be different if they were good friends that chose to room together long term). 

[Mug]

1. It's none of your business really, you can express that it's a little bang on to the person at home but that's all. You don't know about his relationship from home so you can't assume.
2. Is he shagging them, kissing etc? Can't be sure if it's cheating, you can go on dates with the pretense of just friends.

 

Unless it's of paramount importance to you then stay out of it lad. No good losing a friendship over things like this.

[dalekphalm]

17 minutes ago, Mug said:

you can go on dates with the pretense of just friends.

I'm gonna disagree with you on this. If you're just friends, you're not going on a date, you're hanging out with your friend.

 

The other points you made, I won't disagree with.

[Mug]

7 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

I'm gonna disagree with you on this. If you're just friends, you're not going on a date, you're hanging out with your friend.

 

The other points you made, I won't disagree with.

True, but Tinder can be far more nuanced than you'd expect. I have no personal 'just friends' dating experience but I've known it to happen with certain types of people.

[MrImnotMLG]

3 hours ago, AshleyAshes said:

Are you stupid or something?  Don't discuss it with him at all.  He's half your rent and so unless you can afford a place on your own and associated moving costs, the only right move is to stay out of his shit entirely.  When co-habitating with other individuals it's always the smartest move to not take steps that produce unnecessary conflict.

A.) You obviously didn't read the entirety of my post: "Edit: I know my comments seem to tell other wise but, I do NOT plan on confronting him again. This poll was more to see if I was wrong on what was going on. "

 

B.) Just for clarification: The apartment we live is in is rented out by the college and we pay for the semester up front(utilities included). I also pay for and cook all of my food.

[dalekphalm]

26 minutes ago, Mug said:

True, but Tinder can be far more nuanced than you'd expect. I have no personal 'just friends' dating experience but I've known it to happen with certain types of people.

My personal definition of "date" would preclude "just friends" from dating - it would simply not fit the definition.

 

The word itself has many definitions, some of which could imply non-romantic, but it also implies non-social too (Eg: An appointment with your accountant).

 

The definition to which we adhere (going out to an event with someone), implies romantic connotations.

 

But I do recognize that other people apply the word "date" to non-romantic social gatherings - I just don't share that definition.

[RyomaSJibenG]

definitely cheating

 

i don't understand the need to cheat behind someone's back, if you don't feel like things don't work out, have a talk, then break up in a good way. No hate, no bullshit. Hurt, yes, but not as painful and obnoxious as found out cheating or straight dump the partner after you found another person

[chiller15]

Is he cheating? No.

Is what he is doing socially acceptable? No...but that is subjective.

Should he end the current relationship before pursuing another? Yes.

Is he prepared if the situation backfires and she finds out and/or he is no relationship at all? Probably not.

[Anjelllo]

On 10/29/2017 at 8:41 AM, L.Lawliet said:

Kids nowadays doesnt know how to respect women..  

A Scumbag like him wont find a Good Girl cause he didnt deserve it..although finding one is tough nowadays  

R/niceguys.......

@MrImnotMLG he is cheating, but best not to get involved, as he is your roommate and the bro code still applies.

[Praesi]

Pathetic Behaviour. He is an Asshole.