Dating & Religion, I never thought...

[EthanTheFrogMan]

So ill start this off by saying I am less than 16 years old, and I identify myself as a Jewish Atheist, who is a realist. (just my personal feelings, not looking for a debate here). A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook "it seems impossible to find a guy who loves God as much as I do." This got me thinking, two of my other friends broke up because the guy "needed to focus more on God", taking this in context, he is a Christian, who plays video games a good chunk of his free time, and this was a girl he really liked, he does always say "The first thing I look for in a girl is if she believes in God."

 

I never thought believing in God would be such a limiting factor in finding a relationship, is this just a smokescreen for an excuse not to date somebody? Does this occur later in life, or is this a purely High School thing?

 

I would like to see what you guys think about this, and please, no arguments, just a civilized conversation.

[werto165]

Seems like you're limiting yourself if you only look for people with the same views as you, sure it would be nice to have similiar views but looking for someone who believes in god first seems a little excessive. In my experience anyway, I think there is quite a high proportion of agnostic/atheist people when it comes to later life, perhaps that just depends on the area in which you live in. 

[Mug]

I understand, it's because you want someone that you can go to church with or can share your religious experience with rather than someone who will make you drift apart from God over time.

 

It's one of the things the church encourages you to do: get a Christian spouse and you can indoctrinate each other and give your money to them.

[AlTech]

it isn't. I couldn't give a toss what religion you are. I don't judge people based on religion. That would be very stupid imho. It just isn't right, natural and normal.

[Kobathor]

When I'm looking for a girl, I look for a Christian one. I'm Christian, so it makes sense. Because (from experience) dating somebody in a different religion/no religion doesn't work out very well.

It's mostly if you believe in something, you want to date somebody that believes the same. If I were Buddhist, I'd probably want to marry somebody Buddhist. It's not just for Christianity where this applies.

 

 

It's one of the things the church encourages you to do: get a Christian spouse and you can indoctrinate each other and give your money to them.

 

^^^ ignorance in a nutshell, that's really not why. It's a preference thing, and it happens with every religion. Humans usually want to date somebody with the same interests as themselves.

[spartaman64]

religion is a big part of us and for some people its important that the person they share their life with has the same religion 

[Samfisher]

So ill start this off by saying I am 15, and I identify myself as a Jewish Atheist, who is a realist. (just my personal feelings, not looking for a debate here). A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook "it seems impossible to find a guy who loves God as much as I do." This got me thinking, two of my other friends broke up because the guy "needed to focus more on God", taking this in context, he is a Christian, who plays video games a good chunk of his free time, and this was a girl he really liked, he does always say "The first thing I look for in a girl is if she believes in God."

 

I never thought believing in God would be such a limiting factor in finding a relationship, is this just a smokescreen for an excuse not to date somebody? Does this occur later in life, or is this a purely High School thing?

 

I would like to see what you guys think about this, and please, no arguments, just a civilized conversation.

They just want someone who cares about the same things they do, to have the same values and beliefs.  Nothing wrong with that.  Especially when it comes with abusive spouses, whether it's the husband or wife.  I've lived through it as a kid.

[EthanTheFrogMan]

I understand, it's because you want someone that you can go to church with or can share your religious experience with rather than someone who will make you drift apart from God over time.

 

It's one of the things the church encourages you to do: get a Christian spouse and you can indoctrinate each other and give your money to them.

yeah

[Mug]

Seems like you're limiting yourself if you only look for people with the same views as you, sure it would be nice to have similiar views but looking for someone who believes in god first seems a little excessive. In my experience anyway, I think there is quite a high proportion of agnostic/atheist people when it comes to later life, perhaps that just depends on the area in which you live in. 

Considering the fact that we live in the sixth least godly country in the world, I thing that agnosticism is pretty much universal.

[brownninja97]

In all honestly at the age of 15 you dont think in a mature way, we all make silly decisions, once he has matured he will have a better perspective of everything, one thing i think all religious people should do though is educate themselves on the major religions out there, once they see how similar they are or come across Hinduism aka the loop hole religion then their judgement(if rational) will change. 

[EthanTheFrogMan]

They just want someone who cares about the same things they do, to have the same values and beliefs.  Nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, true, but at the same time would you turn down someone who was great for you in every other aspect, but just not the same beliefs?

[EarthboundHero]

I'm an Agnostic Atheist, I've dated plenty of Christian girls.

[Godlygamer23]

Some touchy stuff here. Keep it peaceful people.

[Samfisher]

Yeah, true, but at the same time would you turn down someone who was great for you in every other aspect, but just not the same beliefs?

Yes, cos as my updated post says, I've lived through what a different faith/no faith/atheist parent is capable of when they do not believe nor fear or respect a higher power.

 

 

I think the issue is, though, that she broke up with him because he wasn't a strong enough Christian. He was a Christian, so it's safe to assume their beliefs matched up; but I guess he was too liberal in his faith

 

I'm pretty liberal in my faith, but there are limits I respect as a Christian and if I truly believe that my partner will eventually come to my side, I will proceed.  I do believe in Heaven and Hell, so the though of not seeing my gf/wife in the afterlife pushes me to look for a more suitable partner, or at least one open to the idea.

[EthanTheFrogMan]

I'm an Agnostic Atheist, I've dated plenty of Christian girls.

How has it worked out, have their been issues? I guess in certain religions it is easier to only date people who have the same beliefs you do, but for example, in my school of three hundred students, there is not one Jewish Atheist that I know of, although I do not look at that as a necessary factor.

[_ASSASSIN_]

I'm an Agnostic Atheist, I've dated plenty of Christian girls.

that's literally the most contradictory thing I've ever read. You are either agnostic or you are atheist. You can never be both

[Mug]

I think the issue is, though, that she broke up with him because he wasn't a strong enough Christian. He was a Christian, so it's safe to assume their beliefs matched up; but I guess he was too liberal in his faith

Just saying, being liberal does not mean one is not a Christian. There is no link between conservatism and faith.

[spartaman64]

How has it worked out, have their been issues? I guess in certain religions it is easier to only date people who have the same beliefs you do, but for example, in my school of three hundred students, there is not one Jewish Atheist that I know of, although I do not look at that as a necessary factor.

i would suppose it depends on the person rather than the religion and someone can be easily be ethically jewish but not religiously 

[brownninja97]

I'm an Agnostic Atheist, I've dated plenty of Christian girls.

Same coming from a Hindu, the issue is going further then that generally, its more of a fear factor and particularly in Hinduism is a sheer density of disinformation. I think thats down to people not wanting to ruin their image whether thats for the people around them or for a higher being. 

 

Some touchy stuff here. Keep it peaceful people.

well this is what happens every time. normally i just report a thread like this because it turns into a warzone, seems a little more calm today though. 

[EthanTheFrogMan]

i would suppose it depends on the person rather than the religion 

I definitely agree with this statement, not that there is anything wrong with looking closely at a persons religion, Since I guess if you think about it, people look for common interests all the time, although I would not rank that as #1 for me.

[EthanTheFrogMan]

Same coming from a Hindu, the issue is going further then that generally, its more of a fear factor and particularly in Hinduism is a sheer density of disinformation. I think thats down to people not wanting to ruin their image whether thats for the people around them or for a higher being. 

 

well this is what happens every time. normally i just report a thread like this because it turns into a warzone, seems a little more calm today though. 

yes, I just think it is an interesting topic, especially from people who don't regularly frequent forums dedicated to this.

[spartaman64]

also even though they are both christians they can have pretty drastic differences in their beliefs for example jehovah's witnesses believe that only 144,000 people will go to heaven and satan is on earth controlling governments and the FLDS church believes that what level of heaven you will go to depends on how many wives you have but the LDS church got rid of that

[LokiFire]

Religion should never be a wall to your woman and vice versa. If it is, this is that person being a bad person. Closed minded.

[spartaman64]

Religion should never be a wall to your woman and vice versa. If it is, this is that person being a bad person. Closed minded.

im not quite sure about this. if you treat people who are not part of your religion badly then i would agree that is being closed minded but if you just want the person you marry to share your beliefs then i think its fine

[Samfisher]

Religion should never be a wall to your woman and vice versa. If it is, this is that person being a bad person. Closed minded.

And calling their life choices making them a bad person is also close minded.