LGBT community

[Nowak]

[Lady Fitzgerald]

15 hours ago, Dark_wizzie said:

Here's me... I don't like my smile and I don't want yet another picture where I look totally serious, so here goes nothing:

 

Why don't you let us decide how you look with a smile? 

[AshleyAshes]

18 minutes ago, NowakVulpix said:

WTF left that bite mark?  ...Are there animals made of K'nex!?

[Nowak]

8 minutes ago, AshleyAshes said:

WTF left that bite mark?  ...Are there animals made of K'nex!?

Surgical scars.

[AshleyAshes]

Just now, NowakVulpix said:

Surgical scars.

...Seems like a cover up for a K'Nexasaurus attack...

[Nowak]

1 minute ago, AshleyAshes said:

...Seems like a cover up for a K'Nexasaurus attack...

Do you remember why I had my wrist in a cast?

[AshleyAshes]

Just now, NowakVulpix said:

Do you remember why I had my wrist in a cast?

Don't you think this sounds exactly like what someone would say if the government threatened them if they revealed the NSA's generically engineered mountain lion / K'Nex hybrid!?

[Nowak]

Just now, AshleyAshes said:

Don't you think this sounds exactly like what someone would say if the government threatened them if they revealed the NSA's generically engineered mountain lion / K'Nex hybrid!?

What the fuck.

[BoredErica]

12 hours ago, Lady Fitzgerald said:

Lesbian transwoman.

Oh wow, I had no idea! 

4 hours ago, Zodiark1593 said:

Tbh, you look as good as many women.

4 hours ago, Lady Fitzgerald said:

If not better. 

Aww thanks. 

4 hours ago, Lady Fitzgerald said:

Why don't you let us decide how you look with a smile? 

I'll work on a smile that doesn't look fake as heck or really awkward, and use it for my next picture.

[iamdarkyoshi]

Fascinating. After two years and almost a month on dating sites, I actually sorta managed to start a conversation with a human of the opposite gender...

[8uhbbhu8]

2 minutes ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

Fascinating. After two years and almost a month on dating sites, I actually sorta managed to start a conversation with a human of the opposite gender...

WOW

[Bhav]

23 hours ago, Dark_wizzie said:

Yeah... I don't really know how to use OCN anymore.  I have been on LTT for quite a while now... originally railing against placebo in audio. But I'm retired from that life. Not on LTT very often now.

Are you part of LGBT/community, or just browsin'?

Here's me... I don't like my smile and I don't want yet another picture where I look totally serious, so here goes nothing:

 

 

inb4uglyaf nevergoingtopass.jpg 

HOW DO I ALSO BECOME SUCH A GLORIOUS PRINCESS?

 

Meh, I'd have to wax my entire body. I'd rather cover everything but the face up.

[Bhav]

3 hours ago, iamdarkyoshi said:

Fascinating. After two years and almost a month on dating sites, I actually sorta managed to start a conversation with a human of the opposite gender...

After 12 years of dating sites, what even is a date? I've still not had one.

[Lady Fitzgerald]

7 minutes ago, Bhav said:

HOW DO I ALSO BECOME SUCH A GLORIOUS PRINCESS?

 

Meh, I'd have to wax my entire body. I'd rather cover everything but the face up.

Hormone therapy. Estrogen plus an anti-androgen will get rid of most of the body hair (except for the face, darn it). Before I started my hormones, I had "fun" shaving my back.

[Bhav]

33 minutes ago, Lady Fitzgerald said:

Hormone therapy. Estrogen plus an anti-androgen will get rid of most of the body hair (except for the face, darn it). Before I started my hormones, I had "fun" shaving my back.

Yea, I'm not trans enough for that, I'd only do drag if I knew how.

[Lady Fitzgerald]

4 hours ago, Bhav said:

Yea, I'm not trans enough for that, I'd only do drag if I knew how.

Waxing would probably be your best option, then. It gives longer results and is far more affordable than electrolysis.

[Ultraviolence]

bisexual.

[BoredErica]

7 hours ago, Bhav said:

HOW DO I ALSO BECOME SUCH A GLORIOUS PRINCESS?

 

Meh, I'd have to wax my entire body. I'd rather cover everything but the face up.

 

I'm lucky that I don't have much hair to begin with. I don't have a very masculine frame either. Obviously there are things I can't really fix (rib cage, shoulder broadness, hand and feet size, Adam's Apple, pelvic bones), but all things considered it's pretty good. I do think the dress picture is one of my better pictures though. I think I face less discrimination partly due to where I live, but also because even if I don't pass, I can blend in well enough.

 

The 'not trans enough' comment kind of reminds me of myself a while back. Obviously I don't know your situation. There were multiple questions and doubts I had that I was trans... I wish I seriously dealt with them earlier so I could've started earlier, but it is what it is. What I would say is being trans isn't about having enough dysphoria or will to transition. There's a difference between liking ice cream and feeling terrible you don't have ice cream, for example.

 

I do have a cis girl as a friend who's feet are identical in size to mine. Skin softening is really quite nice, and I went from having to shave my legs every other day to every 3 or maybe weekly now. Fat redistribution goes slowly. It's harder for me to gain muscle while running, and I feel like my emotions have changed. Breast and hip fat redistribution are important. The former is coming along satisfactorily all things considered, but the latter hasn't really occurred for me yet. I'm 5 months in.

 

My mom thinks I'm going to get cancer and die or regret it, and my dad has probably accepted it by now. They live half the world away though. I've never had a girlfriend... My brother doesn't care at all. I've asked somebody out once and had one person ask me out, but never have attractions matched each other. At this point I have to find lesbians that are okay with dating a trans person, and I think dating sites are my best bet now. Not yet though... I want to give it another good 1.5-2 years before I start trying to date.

 

Are you the same Bhav I ran into on OCN years ago?

[Lady Fitzgerald]

1 hour ago, Dark_wizzie said:

I think I face less discrimination partly due to where I live, but also because even if I don't pass, I can blend in well enough.

While it's true some places have less discrimination than others, what matters far more is your attitude. I pass like a four dollar bill (without change, even) yet I rarely have problems. People can sense fear and discomfort in others and tend to react accordingly. While I would kill to look as good as you or any other cisgendered woman looks, I don't and I have accepted that. I am who and what I am and if someone has a problem with that, they can just build a bridge and get over it; i don't let it ruin my life. I'm comfortable around others which goes a long ways toward them being more comfortable with me. I'm aware that there are people who would want to hurt me for being me but, other than taking reasonable precautions any other woman should take to stay safe, I don't let that rule my life. We are our own worst critics and enemies.

[BoredErica]

11 hours ago, Lady Fitzgerald said:

While it's true some places have less discrimination than others, what matters far more is your attitude. I pass like a four dollar bill (without change, even) yet I rarely have problems. People can sense fear and discomfort in others and tend to react accordingly. While I would kill to look as good as you or any other cisgendered woman looks, I don't and I have accepted that. I am who and what I am and if someone has a problem with that, they can just build a bridge and get over it; i don't let it ruin my life. I'm comfortable around others which goes a long ways toward them being more comfortable with me. I'm aware that there are people who would want to hurt me for being me but, other than taking reasonable precautions any other woman should take to stay safe, I don't let that rule my life. We are our own worst critics and enemies.

At least from the picture you sent last time, you passed to me... That's why I said I was surprised to find out you were trans. Adam's Apple (assuming it is what I am seeing now) looks kind of like normal body fat. It doesn't stick out as sharply like mine, it's more rounded. Then again it might be more obvious depending on camera angle, and I don't know your voice.

 

I rarely have problems too. Actually one of the times was on OCN, where I posted what I was buying, and somebody said 'thought of you in those makes me ill' or stuff about how they'd laugh at me if they saw me, etc etc. It really annoyed me how the mods just let it happen.

 

I think confidence and dysphoria, at least for me, do in some way track to reality. So if I really did look good instead of bad, confidence would go up and dysphoria down. Obviously it's not perfect 1:1 relationship.

 

By now I think I am pretty comfortable presenting as female. Once I took meds and came out of the closet, I guess I didn't see the point in hiding anymore. Was I coming out of the closet or not? So I had to directly deal with the remaining anxiety with being outside. I still remember the first day I crossdressed in college though, long before I realized I was trans. I was so scared, lol. But the I realized people didn't care. People were too busy thinking about how they look or living their life to think about me more often than not.

 

Well, passing actually deals with what other people think about me, but whether I pass or not is an indicator for whether my opinions of my own looks stack up with other people's. Sometimes one can lose perspective. Maybe I should've mentioned both passing and 'looking cis' because they mean slightly different things. Trans people were people you read about in the newspaper or heard about on TV, the prospect of me being trans was just... crazy. I had a lot of shame underneath the surface... I suppose it was easier to accept myself if I liked what I saw in the mirror. Felt less like a fraud that way. My friends had a far easier time accepting me than I did for myself.

 

Most people that have seen my picture had positive things to say about it, but I keep downplaying it in my head, almost as if I'm subconsciously searching for somebody to tell me 'the harsh truth' about how I really look or something. But I know my close friends wouldn't lie when I ask for the truth. It's weird, because if that picture wasn't me but instead a trans friend of mine, I would tell them that honestly they look pretty good to me. But everything is different when it's me.

[Lady Fitzgerald]

3 hours ago, Dark_wizzie said:

At least from the picture you sent last time, you passed to me... That's why I said I was surprised to find out you were trans. Adam's Apple (assuming it is what I am seeing now) looks kind of like normal body fat. It doesn't stick out as sharply like mine, it's more rounded. Then again it might be more obvious depending on camera angle, and I don't know your voice.

 

I rarely have problems too. Actually one of the times was on OCN, where I posted what I was buying, and somebody said 'thought of you in those makes me ill' or stuff about how they'd laugh at me if they saw me, etc etc. It really annoyed me how the mods just let it happen.

 

I think confidence and dysphoria, at least for me, do in some way track to reality. So if I really did look good instead of bad, confidence would go up and dysphoria down. Obviously it's not perfect 1:1 relationship.

 

By now I think I am pretty comfortable presenting as female. Once I took meds and came out of the closet, I guess I didn't see the point in hiding anymore. Was I coming out of the closet or not? So I had to directly deal with the remaining anxiety with being outside. I still remember the first day I crossdressed in college though, long before I realized I was trans. I was so scared, lol. But the I realized people didn't care. People were too busy thinking about how they look or living their life to think about me more often than not.

 

Well, passing actually deals with what other people think about me, but whether I pass or not is an indicator for whether my opinions of my own looks stack up with other people's. Sometimes one can lose perspective. Maybe I should've mentioned both passing and 'looking cis' because they mean slightly different things. Trans people were people you read about in the newspaper or heard about on TV, the prospect of me being trans was just... crazy. I had a lot of shame underneath the surface... I suppose it was easier to accept myself if I liked what I saw in the mirror. Felt less like a fraud that way. My friends had a far easier time accepting me than I did for myself.

 

Most people that have seen my picture had positive things to say about it, but I keep downplaying it in my head, almost as if I'm subconsciously searching for somebody to tell me 'the harsh truth' about how I really look or something. But I know my close friends wouldn't lie when I ask for the truth. It's weird, because if that picture wasn't me but instead a trans friend of mine, I would tell them that honestly they look pretty good to me. But everything is different when it's me.

Thanks for the compliment!

 

I had to learn to accept myself for who and what I am. I started far later in life than you are so that may have helped me. I also have a B.S. in Psychology (that I never used vocationally; long story) which probably help with my coming out to myself. Working against me was being raised in a Fundamentalist Christian home, going to a Christian college, then getting married in effort to be "normal". Add children to the mix and you get the delayed coming out.

 

Your last two sentences reinforce what I said about us being our own worst enemies and critics.

 

Coming out is both easier and harder for LGBTs now. Easier because more people are better educated and more opened minded and harder because more people are aware that we exist. One quickie tip that will help you; smile more. A "joke" that was going around when I was coming out was if you saw two women walking toward you and one was a convincing transwoman, how would you tell difference? Answer: the cisgendered woman would smile when you made eye contact.

[AshleyAshes]

Meanwhile, this is what I looked like before transition, as a boy, so I can't relate to most of this current conversation.

[Selah]

52 minutes ago, AshleyAshes said:

Meanwhile, this is what I looked like before transition, as a boy, so I can't relate to most of this current conversation.

luckyyyyyyyyyyy. I looked like mince-meat before and holy shit did the amount of money and exercising it took to look decent. And all I wanna do is eat cheeseburgers and pizza but I can't :'c

[Nowak]

Nowak grew to level 25!

[AshleyAshes]

15 minutes ago, Selah said:

luckyyyyyyyyyyy. I looked like mince-meat before and holy shit did the amount of money and exercising it took to look decent. And all I wanna do is eat cheeseburgers and pizza but I can't :'c

Eh, ever since high school when I got into the 'geek clique' and made friends with the yaoi fangirls and been deep in media images where this is what a same sex relationship looks like:

 

 

I've been pretty much 'Do whatever makes you happy' since.  Boy, girl, the only real difference is a bra, but it's easier to date boys as a girl so there's that.