Would you date a drug user?

[Noyu]

I think she's not interested in me anymore. Not sure why.

From replying to my messages every hour, now it's once a day.

We had 3 dates in 2 weeks, then she went on vacay for the weekend.

When she came back it changed from replying to my msgs every hour, to replying a single msg a day.

 

Anyways my point is, now that she's backing away, I've had some time to think.

What would have happened if we leveled up?

 

She uses drugs (coke, LSD, you name it). Mostly on parties or get-togethers.

I haven't. And I won't. She knew that from our 2nd date.

 

I am only open to try weed. But I'm too lazy to buy some (or even look where to buy).

 

MOVING ON, I think I was blinded by the fact that she's the first girl I've ever dated, so basically I'm more accepting of her flaws.

 

Now that I've had a chance to think about it, I'm not sure anymore.

 

Thoughts?

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

1. I am fairly sure she is NOT AN ADDICT. So please keep your opinion limited to just "recreational users".
2. I am not dating for the sex. I've lasted 23 years without it, and can last a couple more. Call me naive, IDC.

[MaxBunny]

Be friends, go find yourself a nice girl, get hitched, make babies, grow old, be happy.

[Noyu]

1 minute ago, MaxBunny said:

Be friends, go find yourself a nice girl, get hitched, make babies, grow old, be happy.

So that's a no on the drug user then? hmmm

[EarthboundHero]

I mean, I dated a girl who smoked weed daily, and took ecstasy and acid whenever she went to a rave (Probably about monthly) I didn't really have an issue with it. I don't do any drugs by the way. But if I found out she was doing harder stuff, then we wouldn't have been together very long.

 

Though I do get mad when my current girlfriend drinks, so I guess it really depends on the person I'm dating. 

[Noyu]

1 minute ago, EarthboundHero said:

I mean, I dated a girl who smoked weed daily, and took ecstasy and acid whenever she went to a rave (Probably about monthly) I didn't really have an issue with it. I don't do any drugs by the way. But if I found out she was doing harder stuff, then we wouldn't have been together very long.

define harder stuff: cocaine?

aaand why?

[EarthboundHero]

1 minute ago, Noyu said:

define harder stuff: cocaine?

aaand why?

Stuff that I think is more dangerous. Weed, ecstasy and acid aren't actively dangerous, at least not as far as I know.  I would've left because I don't want someone I care about to be hurting themselves. And if they don't listen to me when I tell them I don't like it, then I care more than they do and that's not a healthy relationship to be in.

[Tech_Dreamer]

depends , would you want to get her healthy by being close & guiding her , then sure , probably would try to do that as a friend as well overtime

[Noyu]

1 minute ago, EarthboundHero said:

Stuff that I think is more dangerous. Weed, ecstasy and acid aren't actively dangerous, at least not as far as I know.  I would've left because I don't want someone I care about to be hurting themselves. And if they don't listen to me when I tell them I don't like it, then I care more than they do and that's not a healthy relationship to be in.

When we were still dating (like a week ago).

I just thought, as long as she knows when to stop, I'm good.

From what I've gathered she's not exactly an addict. She's "just having fun".

BTW, she stays sober when we go out.

 

We don't even drink (because the last 2 dates, I brought a car).

But yea, drugs are always a topic of discussion during our dates.

Like how she did this, how she did that, acid trip here, weed high there. etc.

[Noyu]

6 minutes ago, Tech_Dreamer said:

depends , would you want to get her healthy by being close & guiding her , then sure , probably would try to do that as a friend as well overtime

The only time I'll force her to get healthy, would be if we're married and want to have kids. But other than that, naah.

4 minutes ago, huilun02 said:

Let her go

I am. But not for the drugs.

I have anxiety.

She parties.

I can't handle all the thoughts that comes into my head when she parties.

And I'm pretty sure she's "having fun" with other guys.

Not me though huhu /wrist

[ttoks]

21 minutes ago, MaxBunny said:

Be friends, go find yourself a nice girl, get hitched, make babies, grow old, be happy.

That's a pipe dream and a half, you left out the get divorced, she takes everything you've ever worked for and the kids and you end up a bitter old man.

[Noyu]

3 minutes ago, ttoks said:

That's a pipe dream and a half, you left out the get divorced, she takes everything you've ever worked for and the kids and you end up a bitter old man.

i sense salt

[ttoks]

1 minute ago, Noyu said:

i sense salt

You'd be correct, give it a few year's and i'll get some sugar back in me though.

[Noyu]

3 minutes ago, ttoks said:

You'd be correct, give it a few year's and i'll get some sugar back in me though.

goodluck m8.

hahahahaha

[MaxBunny]

7 minutes ago, ttoks said:

That's a pipe dream and a half, you left out the get divorced, she takes everything you've ever worked for and the kids and you end up a bitter old man.

Your fault for not making a prenup first.

[Volbet]

I would say it depends on how she consumes the drugs she's on. 

A person that casually consumes narcotics isn't necessarily a bad person to date. That is unless they radically change their personality when they are under the influence.

If the person is an addict, however, the story is a lot different. I would argue that an addict wouldn't be capable of reciprocating your love for them. 

An addict love their drug(s) first and formost and the people around them is usually just a means to an end. 

[Noyu]

2 minutes ago, Volbet said:

I would say it depends on how she consumes the drugs she's on. 

A person that casually consumes narcotics isn't necessarily a bad person to date. That is unless they radically change their personality when they are under the influence.

If the person is an addict, however, the story is a lot different. I would argue that an addict wouldn't be capable of reciprocating your love for them. 

An addict love their drug(s) first an formost and the people around them is usually just a means to an end. 

hence why I said "user".

addiction is like another side of the coin.

[Volbet]

14 minutes ago, Noyu said:

hence why I said "user".

addiction is like another side of the coin.

Some people tend to use the two as synonymous with one another, so I just wanted to cover all bases. 

 

In that case I would say it's entirely up to you and whether or not she radically changes her personality when she is under the influence. 

It's not fun dating a girl who get violent/agressive after she has consumed a drug.  

 

If it evolves into a long term relationship then there is also the question about whether or not you want to sponsor drug dealers. 

Drugs usually aren't sold by the most outstanding individuals, and a lot of crime usually follow the sale of drugs, so you would have to answer yourself if you want to sponsor that.

[ttoks]

33 minutes ago, MaxBunny said:

Your fault for not making a prenup first.

HA, no such thing as a prenup in my country, and when we met we were both dirt poor anyway.

[Noyu]

1 minute ago, Volbet said:

Some people tend to use the two as synonymous with one another, so I just wanted to cover all bases. 

 

In that case I would say it's entirely up to you and whether or not she radically changes her personality when she is under the influence. 

It's not fun dating a girl who get violent/agressive after she has consumed a drug.  

 

If it evolves into a long term relationship then there is also the question about whether or not you want to sponsor drug dealers. 

Drugs usually aren't sold by the most outstanding individuals, and a lot of crime usually follow the sale of drugs, so you would have to answer yourself if you want to sponsor that.

I'm actually abit concerned for her.

If you've heard, we have a new sheriff in town (new President).

He's been supporting extra-judicial killings of all who are involved in drugs.

Even the ones that only possess/use.

 

Hell, her last ex (the one she says would probably be her "greatest love"),

got caught buying 10+kg of <insert drug> (not sure if it was weed or cocaine).

He went to jail. She put up with their LDR for a while, then she cheated and dumped him.

(Yes I know, it is so weird that she would tell me this, on a the FIRST DATE)

[ttoks]

If I were you, i'd be running really far away from this girl, she seems like trouble, IMHO.

[Noyu]

5 minutes ago, ttoks said:

If I were you, i'd be running really far away from this girl, she seems like trouble, IMHO.

she is trouble. but I think that's what I like about her.

 

ANYWAYS I am not optimistic as to where we're going.

pretty sure I'm gonna end up in the friendzone.

we won't meet for another week and even then I'm not sure if we'll really meet.

I'm gonna make a move then, if she reciprocates, all my plans/morals/ethics/who-i-am are thrown out the window.

[MilkJugg24]

47 minutes ago, Noyu said:

she is trouble. but I think that's what I like about her.

we won't meet for another week and even then I'm not sure if we'll really meet.

She sounds like dead weight. Just stay distant friends, and try to make her remember you in some way.

 

She knows you'll never be involved in the use of drugs, so if she needs you, she'll know where to find you.

[Clonzoo]

So, exstacy, cocain, acids and LSD aren't hardcore drugs? All 4 is extremely dangerous for you for many reasons. Saying they're not is ignorant and fucking idiotic. First of all, you will have damage done to your body, even only after trying it once. Will that be something you'd notice after trying it once? probably not, but still damage is done, weather that will heal with time or not I am not sure. Its addictive, EXTREMELY addictive. If you are addicted and can't get your hands on it through "normal means" things can escalate rather quickly. Hell, when I was under 18 and couldn't go to the store for my tobacco addiction I'd turn bat shit crazy. I'd stand outside a store and ask pretty much anyone if I didn't find anyone that could buy for me. There normally always was someone I knew though that would buy it for me, If I never found anyone though I'm not sure what lengths I could have gone to. I do however had a friend who asked a police officer, he wasn't on duty but I'm sure you can imagine it caused some trouble.

 

Now I might be the wrong person here because I am very much against drugs, even pot or whatever else you'd call it, because first of all, atleast here in Norway its still illegal. And whichever way you look at it, its addictive and it gives you a high unlike tobacco or alcohol can. And even if you don't get addicted to the pot itself, you can get addicted to the high is gives it. Now, pot isn't dangerous for you, sure its more dangerous than water... but people say alcohol and tobacco is more dangerous, which I can understand, however looking at the big picture I'd say its wrong, because its an entry level drug and after a while of using it you might start to think about trying other stuff, and many people stop thinking about it and actually do it. No matter how you flip the coin, drugs, in any shape or form is dangerous for you, your wallet and ultimately your family and your own well being.

 

I myself don't use anything but legal stuff meaning tobacco and alcohol. The tobacco I use is a Swedish form of chewing tobacco that's called snus directly translated its called Snuff. And yes, it is bad for you, having that said cigarettes are alot worse, but that's not something I wish to get into. Point is, I drink alcohol and I use tobacco but for me that's where it ends. Drugs are illegal and dangerous, whatever you do with it. That's just me, perhaps you'd wanna call me ignorant for that, and feel free, I have my opinion, you have yours. Now if my girlfriend used any kind of drugs, it would be over and I love my girlfriend, but I do not wish to see her fall down into an addiction, I'm addicted to tobacco and I will do anything to keep her away from that and I do everything to keep her intake of alcohol to a minimum. But with any kinds of drugs it would be over as soon as I heard and confirmed it. I don't wanna fight to keep my girlfriend out of that kind of shit, its a fight I'm simply not willing to face. There are no good sides, she'd end up getting addicted, spending her money on it, her addiction would probably end up her trying to manipulate me into helping her getting her hands on it, or pay for it. I chose my girlfriend because I like her and that she is someone I would like to spend my time with, she not some kind of free whore I found someplace and only keep around for sex, I enjoy her company and eventually, who knows a family, house and everything that is portrayed as the meaning of life. But drugs would ruin that, whatever drugs it is, starting with money issues, fights, child services if we got a kid and so much more. Eventually it might would have escalated from pot into something worse, where I start to see the effects on her, her addiction would get worse, money problems worsen. Just no. There is nothing positive about drugs, not alcohol or tobacco either, but there's a big line between the two in my opinion. Would I date a drug user or a drug addict, not a chance in hell.

[VAkena]

Wow, that previous response...

[straight_stewie]

Depends what drugs. Does she smoke a little weed or is she shooting up heroin? Those are two completely different things.

IMO if you're not into that D-life then get away bro. Best case scenario, she doesn't hang out with you for days on end while she's getting high or trippin. Worst case scenario, she drags you into it.