My mom hit my car while backing out, should I ask her to pay for the damages?

[Zodiark1593]

In the eyes of the law, since the car is under your name, she would absolutely be responsible for the damages. Last I checked, the law doesn't provide such leeway for living under someone's roof rent-free. (IE, No free pass to damage property) Calling up your insurance co would be a start if you want to go down this (admittedly blunt) route. 

 

That said, as I don't know your mom, at best, I can gather that she's close to the airhead sort, the morality aspect falls to you. 

[Misanthrope]

No need for insurance fraud: call your insurance company and tell them SHE hit you. They actually will charge her regardless of what she thinks. There is no fraud if you're in the right.

[EthanTheFrogMan]

1 hour ago, Arty said:

how did she get license if she is constinatly like this? 

I ask myself that every day....

[dalekphalm]

48 minutes ago, maulemall said:

because being a whiney dick is always respected and fixing things on your own and being mature is soo yesterday.

 

 

 

Being a whiney dick and being mature have nothing to do with an irresponsible mother who damaged her sons car (twice, I might add) and just said "Oh" when he casually mentions it.

 

You call just ignoring that mature? Being a whiney dick really depends on how he actually confronts her about it and deals with the situation. They don't necessarily have to go hand in hand.

[EthanTheFrogMan]

1 hour ago, BOT Edward said:

I would mention it to your mother and just say that this is the second time she has damaged your car and to be more careful. 

Have you got a picture of your driveway? there could be things you can do to make it less likely for it to happen again.

 

After mentioning it to your mum just say that you are looking at options for the repair but don't say prices. Have a chat with your dad and tell him you feel uncomfortable asking your mum to pay for it and chances are he will have a talk with her and she will offer to reimburse you for the damages.

 

Maybe for mothers day/xmas/her birthday you can get her a reverse parking camera? they are very cheap from ebay and very simple to install (about $50 AUD and wires just tap onto existing reverse light wires) you can also get the cameras separate and can hook onto the mirrors, make it turn on when the appropriate indicator is turned on. It will be beneficial for you to prevent things like this from happening at all and she will also love it for the fact that general driving will be easier for her and will add value to her car.

(Look at the honda HR-V for example, they have this type of thing stock but they call it "lane watch" and "reverse parking assist") 

 

 

 

This is a good idea, its just the fact is, it is unlikely it will happen again if I have enough space to park in the garage....

[maulemall]

1 minute ago, dalekphalm said:

Being a whiney dick and being mature have nothing to do with an irresponsible mother who damaged her sons car (twice, I might add) and just said "Oh" when he casually mentions it.

 

You call just ignoring that mature? Being a whiney dick really depends on how he actually confronts her about it and deals with the situation. They don't necessarily have to go hand in hand.

It's her house and thank God the kid  realizes that. Some people are whiney little punks. The fact that they can't see it is Normal.

[EthanTheFrogMan]

3 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Being a whiney dick and being mature have nothing to do with an irresponsible mother who damaged her sons car (twice, I might add) and just said "Oh" when he casually mentions it.

 

You call just ignoring that mature? Being a whiney dick really depends on how he actually confronts her about it and deals with the situation. They don't necessarily have to go hand in hand.

I have to agree with this. I am going to again confront her, explaining that I am looking into the repair of the bumper, as the crunch barrier has started to go in, and it may eventually need to be replaced, in which time I AM NOT going to pay for it.

[EthanTheFrogMan]

2 minutes ago, maulemall said:

It's her house and thank God the kid  realizes that. Some people are whiney little punks. The fact that they can't see it is Normal.

This does not address the fact that she has been rather ignorant in her driving. I might add, someone very lightly rear ended her car (BMW 3 series) and drove off, and she will need a new bumper ($1500+) and her bumper was also damaged slightly by hitting my car, but this does not matter as HER bumper is being replaced regardless.

[dalekphalm]

1 minute ago, maulemall said:

It's her house and thank God the kid  realizes that. Some people are whiney little punks. The fact that they can't see it is Normal.

Certainly, it is true that some kids are whiney bastards. But we cannot assume that for every one of them. And from what we've seen here in this thread, I see no indication of him being whiney or immature.

 

It might be her house, but that doesn't mean she can damage his property - and even if she could, she shouldn't. I assume it happened out of carelessness, not malice, but never the less, that doesn't make it okay. If I was his age and my mom or dad hit my car, I would talk to them about it. Screaming at them and demanding they pay probably won't help, but I would definitely still talk to them about it. Have a calm, rational discussion. Note that it has happened a few times, and that he would appreciate if she helped pay for the repairs - something like that.

[maulemall]

1 minute ago, EthanTheFrogMan said:

This does not address the fact that she has been rather ignorant in her driving. I might add, someone very lightly rear ended her car (BMW 3 series) and drove off, and she will need a new bumper ($1500+) and her bumper was also damaged slightly by hitting my car, but this does not matter as HER bumper is being replaced regardless.

I'll tell you like I tell my daughter who is your age, You can whine or you can fix. Your choice but the fix thing is going to happen regardless, And whining is only going to piss me off.

She doesn't whine,We get things done and we do whatever she wants in our free time.

NObody likes a whiner

[dalekphalm]

1 minute ago, maulemall said:

I'll tell you like I tell my daughter who is your age, You can whine or you can fix. Your choice but the fix thing is going to happen regardless, And whining is only going to piss me off.

She doesn't whine,We get things done and we do whatever she wants in our free time.

NObody likes a whiner

Okay so let's look at a hypothetical situation.

 

Let's say YOU hit your daughters car, and didn't say anything (Maybe you didn't notice it happened). Would you call her a little whiner if she confronted you about it, or talked to you or approached you?

 

Or would you just expect her to pay out of her own pocket to fix your own mistake?

[maulemall]

1 minute ago, dalekphalm said:

Okay so let's look at a hypothetical situation.

 

Let's say YOU hit your daughters car, and didn't say anything (Maybe you didn't notice it happened). Would you call her a little whiner if she confronted you about it, or talked to you or approached you?

 

Or would you just expect her to pay out of her own pocket to fix your own mistake?

My daughter wouldn't say a word she would go to work.

 

[EthanTheFrogMan]

1 minute ago, maulemall said:

My daughter wouldn't say a word she would go to work.

 

well than THATS a problem with YOUR parenting, there is no reason for someone to pay to fix someone elses mistake if it is not their responsibility to do so

[dalekphalm]

4 minutes ago, maulemall said:

My daughter wouldn't say a word she would go to work.

 

She would go to work.. meaning what? She would just fix it? Or she would literally ignore the damage and drive to her place of employment?

 

Either way, not a good way to deal with such a situation. How would you learn from your mistake if she just fixed it. If you didn't notice the damage, you may never even know you did it. Furthermore, your daughter is now financially responsible for your mistake - also a bad way to deal with the situation.

[maulemall]

1 minute ago, EthanTheFrogMan said:

well than THATS a problem with YOUR parenting, there is no reason for someone to pay to fix someone elses mistake if it is not their responsibility to do so

And that's the problem with your upbringing.

My daughter is a brown belt Brazilian Jujitsu . Shoots Proficiently pistol and Rifle.

Honor student and would think not to highly of someone who would think as you do.

So lets let it drop.

You would never understand

[WolfDeville]

Personally I would just tell her that you don't have the money to be paying for someone elses mistakes, even if that someone else is your mother. She caused easily avoidable damage, I think she should pay for it and also strongly consider some driving lessons.

[dalekphalm]

18 minutes ago, maulemall said:

And that's the problem with your upbringing.

My daughter is a brown belt Brazilian Jujitsu . Shoots Proficiently pistol and Rifle.

Honor student and would think not to highly of someone who would think as you do.

So lets let it drop.

You would never understand

You're ignoring the issue. Your daughter might be a model student, but she should not have to pay for and fix something that was your mistake. Or at best, she should trust that you'll reimburse her for the cost of repairs, so she gets it fixed knowing that you'll do the right thing.

 

Honestly, talking about how she does Jujitsu and is a proficient pistol and rifle shot? What in god's name does that have to do with anything? So she has some hobbies that she's very good at. That's great. I'm sure you're very proud. But I fail to see the relevance of them.

 

I suppose we should drop it, since you failed to explain to any reasonable degree why you think that the teenage child should pay (without reimbursement) to fix for something that the working parent damaged, acknowledged with an "Oh", and then went on as if nothing happened.

[BOT Edward]

50 minutes ago, EthanTheFrogMan said:

This is a good idea, its just the fact is, it is unlikely it will happen again if I have enough space to park in the garage....

It's future preventative measures for when she parks in an obscure manner  

[Zodiark1593]

1 hour ago, maulemall said:

And that's the problem with your upbringing.

My daughter is a brown belt Brazilian Jujitsu . Shoots Proficiently pistol and Rifle.

Honor student and would think not to highly of someone who would think as you do.

So lets let it drop.

You would never understand

As it would seem, you hold your daughter to a higher standard than you do for yourself, or at least, judging by your comments here. Seems quite the double standard for you to expect your daughter to own up to her responsibilities, but not own up to them yourself.

 

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, however, I'd like this clarified for everyone's sake.

[byalexandr]

3 hours ago, EthanTheFrogMan said:

The car is in my name, cause I bought it from my dad. When he gets home he is going to look at the damage

As in the title is in your name and you pay the insurance or you just paid your dad to have the car while it's under his name?

[k2711000]

4 hours ago, Arty said:

how did she get license if she is constinatly like this? 

Money makes the world go around

[ShadowCaptain]

4 hours ago, maulemall said:

I'll tell you like I tell my daughter who is your age, You can whine or you can fix. Your choice but the fix thing is going to happen regardless, And whining is only going to piss me off.

She doesn't whine,We get things done and we do whatever she wants in our free time.

NObody likes a whiner

 

OK

 

So, you smash into her car, damaging it.... you expect her to get to work fixing it

and you take zero responsibility for your actions? you dont help financially for the repair? or even give her a hand fixing it? and if she complains that will "piss you off"

 

Oh but its ok because she is a good rifle shooter and has a martial arts hobby... because that is relevant to everything

 

Whining? Nobody likes a narcissist either

[comicsansms]

1st tell your mom that she damaged your car, she should take responsibility for her actions.

Then call up the insurance agency and tell them what happened, give them your mom's details and let them deal with it.

 

Just because you are 16 and live with your mum doesn't mean you don't have rights. It also might be a good idea to stay at your dads for a week or so as well.

[Quinnbeast]

5 hours ago, maulemall said:

I'll tell you like I tell my daughter who is your age, You can whine or you can fix. Your choice but the fix thing is going to happen regardless, And whining is only going to piss me off.

She doesn't whine,We get things done and we do whatever she wants in our free time.

NObody likes a whiner

So rather than admit to your mistakes as a driver (causing damage to another vehicle), you're just going to make further mistakes as a parent by simply playing the "respect your elders" card and calling it a day? That attitude can be easily summed up by the old time-worn phrase; "don't do as I do, do as I say". Wonderful.

 

I'm not fond of whiners, but I really don't like parents who treat their children as insubordinate employees. Being a parent does not magically make you impervious to making poor decisions: on the contrary in fact - how you deal with your mistakes can be a life lesson for your kids - or perhaps you don't believe in leading by example?

[stconquest]

Damn you guys are laying into him.

 

On Topic:  Does your mom wear glasses?  My eyesight got slowly worse as I got older, I did not realize it as it was gradual.  One day at my niece's soccer game I put on my brother's glasses and, low and behold, I could see distances much clearer.