My mom hit my car while backing out, should I ask her to pay for the damages?

[ShadowCaptain]

At OP

Speak to your mum regarding reimbursement, she SHOULD take responsibility and pay for repairs, its only fair

if my dad broke something of mine he would happily pay for replacement if it was his fault

if she is being unreasonable, ask for her insurance details and claim that way - you could always say you will go through insurance, and she might pay up as its likely cheaper than the insurance company chasing it

 

 

[MilkJugg24]

If it actually hurts the car performance wise, then she should pay up.

 

You should probably put more emphasis on the fact that she can't fucking park in her own garage and driveway correctly. That's really not ok...

[No]

6 hours ago, maulemall said:

And that's the problem with your upbringing.

My daughter is a brown belt Brazilian Jujitsu . Shoots Proficiently pistol and Rifle.

Honor student and would think not to highly of someone who would think as you do.

So lets let it drop.

You would never understand

what does that have to do with you crashing into your daughters car

[Guest]

I once got hit by a car, as in the car hit my body. 

 

 

Fucked my shit up pretty bad, didn't break any bones. 

 

 

Guy sued me for damaging his car, he hit me.

I was 13,

MFW I'm 6 figures in debt before I'm 18. 

 

 

[RingoCassanova]

10 hours ago, EthanTheFrogMan said:

So my mom and dad are separated, and my dad pays for insurance on my 2010 Corolla. My mom lets me park in the garage, and often huts my car with her door(another story), and she also parks very close to the center of the driveway, over the middle, making it hard for me to pull in, and this is partly due to her not thinking and being aware of herself as she backs out. I came home from work last night, opened the driveway to see that she parked so close there was no space for my car, and i did not feel like moving her car, so I parked in the driveway, assuming that if she needed to move my car in the morning, my keys would be on the counter, and I would probably be up by then anyway. So I come outside this morning and my car has a large scrape on the front bumper, so she must have scraped it. Should I ask her for money for the damages? Btw I own my car

 

She is generally not very careful, as she left a mark on my door from her car, which I then asked her to pay for supplies for me to remove.

 

Thanks for your guys's help.
 

You shouldn't

[rm -rf]

10 hours ago, EthanTheFrogMan said:

So my mom and dad are separated, and my dad pays for insurance on my 2010 Corolla. My mom lets me park in the garage, and often huts my car with her door(another story), and she also parks very close to the center of the driveway, over the middle, making it hard for me to pull in, and this is partly due to her not thinking and being aware of herself as she backs out. I came home from work last night, opened the driveway to see that she parked so close there was no space for my car, and i did not feel like moving her car, so I parked in the driveway, assuming that if she needed to move my car in the morning, my keys would be on the counter, and I would probably be up by then anyway. So I come outside this morning and my car has a large scrape on the front bumper, so she must have scraped it. Should I ask her for money for the damages? Btw I own my car

 

She is generally not very careful, as she left a mark on my door from her car, which I then asked her to pay for supplies for me to remove.

 

Thanks for your guys's help.
 

Yes you should ask her.

[Godlygamer23]

1 hour ago, Noire said:

Guy sued me for damaging his car, he hit me.

I was 13,

MFW I'm 6 figures in debt before I'm 18. 

If that's true, that's completely idiotic. If the guy didn't hit you, he wouldn't have damages. And that probably involves being a more aware driver, and perhaps having decent reaction timings. 

[deWaardt]

9 hours ago, maulemall said:

because being a whiney dick is always respected and fixing things on your own and being mature is soo yesterday.

 

 

 

 

7 hours ago, maulemall said:

My daughter wouldn't say a word she would go to work.

 

So you're telling me, you crash into your daughter's car and she has to be fine with it, otherwise she's a whiny bitch?

 

Geez, you're a terrible parent.

1 hour ago, Noire said:

I once got hit by a car, as in the car hit my body. 

 

 

Fucked my shit up pretty bad, didn't break any bones. 

 

 

Guy sued me for damaging his car, he hit me.

I was 13,

MFW I'm 6 figures in debt before I'm 18. 

 

 

Damn. He can't win that lawsuit can he?

As far as I know, if you hit someone you are responsible, except if it can be proven that YOU (as the pedestrian) caused the accident.

[Guest]

20 minutes ago, deWaardt said:

 

The magic that is West Virginia. 

[Tosa]

I'd show her the damage and ask if she can pay for the repair, since it's most likely that she caused it. I wouldn't consider "can you pay for the repair?" to be unreasonable or straining the relationship, considering it's her fault (just don't phrase it that way, since it will likely cause her to act defensively, potentialy straining the relationship and/or making her unwilling to pay).

 

In my case, I'd likely only have to bring up the damage, and my mom would probably start discussing the repair cost.

[Clonzoo]

If my mom would have fucked up my car she would have apologized and offered to pay for the repair cost outright. Depending on the amount I would either just say I can handle it myself or I'd let her help me pay som of it. If your mom can't be honest with you about fucking up your car I'm sorry to say but there might be bigger issues at hand. If she should pay for it though, if its her fault sure, then again, she's your mom and you have to take a few things into account. For instance, if she doesn't have too much money, I wouldn't ask if anything I'd discuss it with her and throw the balls to her so she can offer a solution to it. If you live at home and pay little to no rent I would ask her very politely if she wanna cover some of it atleast. If you absolutely hate your moms face, take it to court. Its always hard what to do in situations like this, I generally find that talking about it and coming to a mutual agreement is the best for the relationship. Try to make it simple as possible and try not to make it into a proper argument because mom's are girls too and they suck up everything during an argument and will use it against you in the court of law or the livingroom the next time you argue, which you inevitably will, because its human nature pretty much. It really depends and you have to make the call for what would be the best option in the situation you are in and the situation your mom is in. For instance, if your mom is stressed, don't even think about it, just pay the cost and perhaps talk about it later. Like, I don't know all the details around it, I don't know you, or your mom or how long it was since they split up or how hard it was either. And I've heard about cases where parents tend to use their kids as a cannonball to hurt their ex, could be that. Asking other for input is all good, but don't choose the solution with the most likes, choose a solution you feel its best, its your car, your mom and you life.

[ShadowCaptain]

3 hours ago, No said:

what does that have to do with you crashing into your daughters car

She could beat him up i guess

[maulemall]

3 hours ago, Quinnbeast said:

So rather than admit to your mistakes as a driver (causing damage to another vehicle), you're just going to make further mistakes as a parent by simply playing the "respect your elders" card and calling it a day? That attitude can be easily summed up by the old time-worn phrase; "don't do as I do, do as I say". Wonderful.

 

I'm not fond of whiners, but I really don't like parents who treat their children as insubordinate employees. Being a parent does not magically make you impervious to making poor decisions: on the contrary in fact - how you deal with your mistakes can be a life lesson for your kids - or perhaps you don't believe in leading by example?

assigning blame is an excuse for you to feel superior. It is an empty exercise and holds no value where as attacking a solution will be nothing but win for you. I have been and done things that None of you can and will do not because you don't want to but because you don't have the intestinal fortitude or self discipline to get there.

My raising of my daughter is giving her everything she needs to be self reliant and self dependent.

The people I introduce her to are people who have attained things in their personal lives that none of you will ever accomplish and she understands that.

I don't consider your opinion of me or my family relevant or even worth a seconds attention not because I hold you in any disdain but more that you haven't met the standard that I set for myself or her as to whom we associate with. You don't have the skill set to be of use.

[Quinnbeast]

 

9 minutes ago, maulemall said:

assigning blame is an excuse for you to feel superior. It is an empty exercise and holds no value where as attacking a solution will be nothing but win for you. I have been and done things that None of you can and will do not because you don't want to but because you don't have the intestinal fortitude or self discipline to get there.

My raising of my daughter is giving her everything she needs to be self reliant and self dependent.

The people I introduce her to are people who have attained things in their personal lives that none of you will ever accomplish and she understands that.

I don't consider your opinion of me or my family relevant or even worth a seconds attention not because I hold you in any disdain but more that you haven't met the standard that I set for myself or her as to whom we associate with. You don't have the skill set to be of use.

 

So you roll out a post like that, and yet I'm the one with the superiority complex? Very cute. I'm perfectly happy to let you believe whatever you want mate; not for one second am I going to take any of this personally. I'm happy to deal with a simple discussion at face value without the need for it to descend in to some bizarre attempt at a character assassination. Okay, so I'll admit I was laying it on a bit thick to begin with - my apologies for that. However, I was genuinely trying to highlight the fact that your approach ultimately appears as if you'd be (hypothetically) sides-stepping your responsibility simply because you're dealing with your own child. Is that because you don't wish to admit an error or weakness that might undermine your authority? If you replace your daughter with your next-door neighbour, would it not be correct and decent to admit to your mistake and offer to pay for the damage / exchange insurance details etc? And yet, your own flesh and blood is reduced to "being a whiney dick" for even broaching the subject. It's a confusing scenario, unless of course you'd happily call your neigbour a whiney dick too. In which case, I applaud your consistency.

 

And just as an observation: I made a reference to children sometimes being treated as if they were employees. You replied with talk of skill sets / accomplishments / standards / associations. Thanks for confirming that I wasn't far off the mark.

 

If you're going to bring your opinion to a public forum, don't go getting all shitty when someone disagrees with you. I have every faith that you're a genuinely capable parent - but categorically nobody get things right all the time. Even me, with my highly limited skill set, life experience and street smarts, knows that. By the way, if we're all so very unworthy, why do you continue to waste your time with such undesireable characters? To boost your sense of superiority perhaps by swimming among the pond-scum? 

 

#runsforthehills

[dalomo]

12 hours ago, AdamIsaacLang said:

Last time I checked that why you pay monthly for car insurance. 

 

Eh, just say you were in a parking lot and you came back to the damage.

You'd still have a deductible that's likely to be more than the $250 required to get a new bumper cover. My car got hit in a parking garage while I wasn't there, and I still had to pay my deductible to get my car fixed.

[dalomo]

11 hours ago, maulemall said:

I'll tell you like I tell my daughter who is your age, You can whine or you can fix. Your choice but the fix thing is going to happen regardless, And whining is only going to piss me off.

She doesn't whine,We get things done and we do whatever she wants in our free time.

NObody likes a whiner

So if someone damaged your property and didn't say anything about it, you'd just go about your life and take the financial hit instead of just talking to them about it, even though they're clearly responsible for it? That makes no sense. She didn't buy the car for him, she damaged it, she's liable to fix it, pretty simple. Now it's his choice how far he wants to take it, but he's in the right if he decided to ask for reimbursement.

[stconquest]

Some serious mental gymnastics going on in here, wow.

 

I am afraid some people view the social world as a set of ultimatums.  A place where the "strong" eat the "weak".  Some people embrace this idea seeing themselves as the strong.  If you are strong, you don't have to answer to no one.  If you do something wrong to someone, by the will of Darwin, they must overpower you or take a knee to your dominance.

 

That would be one fucked up society indeed... ...

 

A load of horseshit in my book.  This is an ideology a child under 10 could process out by gathering proper evidence from their surroundings.

[dalekphalm]

6 hours ago, Noire said:

I once got hit by a car, as in the car hit my body. 

 

 

Fucked my shit up pretty bad, didn't break any bones. 

 

 

Guy sued me for damaging his car, he hit me.

I was 13,

MFW I'm 6 figures in debt before I'm 18. 

 

 

Dude... you need a better lawyer

[LAwLz]

4 hours ago, maulemall said:

assigning blame is an excuse for you to feel superior. It is an empty exercise and holds no value where as attacking a solution will be nothing but win for you. I have been and done things that None of you can and will do not because you don't want to but because you don't have the intestinal fortitude or self discipline to get there.

My raising of my daughter is giving her everything she needs to be self reliant and self dependent.

The people I introduce her to are people who have attained things in their personal lives that none of you will ever accomplish and she understands that.

I don't consider your opinion of me or my family relevant or even worth a seconds attention not because I hold you in any disdain but more that you haven't met the standard that I set for myself or her as to whom we associate with. You don't have the skill set to be of use.

Someone hits her in the face? Well it will heal. Nobody likes a whiny child that complains about it. Someone smashes her car? Same thing there, she should just pay for it. Her house got robbed? Well, she can just get another job to make enough money to pay for the things that were stolen. Don't come running to the police and whine about it.

 

You did not raise your daughter to be strong and independent. You raised her to be a doormat that anyone can step on.

[Colonel_Gerdauf]

7 hours ago, maulemall said:

assigning blame is an excuse for you to feel superior. It is an empty exercise and holds no value where as attacking a solution will be nothing but win for you. I have been and done things that None of you can and will do not because you don't want to but because you don't have the intestinal fortitude or self discipline to get there.

My raising of my daughter is giving her everything she needs to be self reliant and self dependent.

The people I introduce her to are people who have attained things in their personal lives that none of you will ever accomplish and she understands that.

I don't consider your opinion of me or my family relevant or even worth a seconds attention not because I hold you in any disdain but more that you haven't met the standard that I set for myself or her as to whom we associate with. You don't have the skill set to be of use.

Look, people have different styles of parenting; we get that. The issue we have is the borderline-draconian methods you are using. Yes, independence is an important virtue of learning, but it is something that can only be self-taught. People learn through their errors in relation to the world around them, not artificial ones created by the family. By not allowing your child to make "serious" mistakes, then the child has not learned much of anything in terms of society and morality.

 

I don't like to speak in this manner, but frankly, this approach of strong-arming your children is going to backfire on you pretty hard. The methods you are suggesting is little better than placing your daughter in a metal box, locking the door, and leaving her there. You will find her doing things that you personally disapprove of, for example, and by the time there such thing happens is very little you can do without massive legal repercussions. It is often the people with the "high standards" that suffer the most from this dilemma in particular. You seem proud to display your child as a prodigy so let me ask; is she happy about that?

[EthanTheFrogMan]

2 hours ago, LAwLz said:

Someone hits her in the face? Well it will heal. Nobody likes a whiny child that complains about it. Someone smashes her car? Same thing there, she should just pay for it. Her house got robbed? Well, she can just get another job to make enough money to pay for the things that were stolen. Don't come running to the police and whine about it.

 

You did not raise your daughter to be strong and independent. You raised her to be a doormat that anyone can step on.

^

[Nexxus]

17 hours ago, maulemall said:

because being a whiney dick is always respected and fixing things on your own and being mature is soo yesterday.

 

 

 

Are you fucking serious? why the hell should he be out of pocket for something he had ZERO responsibility for causing?

I dont care if its his mother or hes a devout catholic and the pope did it after claiming god told him to. Why the the frigging hell should ANYONE have to pay out of pocket to fix damaged caused by another party. 

[DevilishBooster]

17 hours ago, maulemall said:

because being a whiney dick is always respected and fixing things on your own and being mature is soo yesterday.

You're missing the point. She clearly caused the damage so she should act like a responsible adult, own up to it, and help cover the cost of repairs. It is not the responsibility of a 16yo minor to pay for her repeated screw-ups.

[Gale]

7 minutes ago, DevilishBooster said:

You're missing the point. She clearly caused the damage so she should act like a responsible adult, own up to it, and help cover the cost of repairs. It is not the responsibility of a 16yo minor to pay for her repeated screw-ups.

Chill out, dude. You don't want to mess with him. He graduated top of his class in the Navy Seals. He has over 300 confirmed kills. Also, his daughter is a brown belt Brazilian Jujitsu.

[DevilishBooster]

6 minutes ago, Gale said:

Chill out, dude. You don't want to mess with him. He graduated top of his class in the Navy Seals. He has over 300 confirmed kills. Also, his daughter is a brown belt Brazilian Jujitsu.

That's cute. 

I have USAF and US Army combatives training and trained in MMA with BJJ, Muay Thai, and kick boxing, and qualified expert on both the M16 and small arms. If he's getting all bent out of shape because people disagree with him over how the OP should proceed with the situation, then I think Mr SEAL needs to chill. He's not down range.

And his profile says USMC, so he ain't a SEAL.