My Parents Don't Like Gaming

[otherworldlynob]

14 hours ago, GreatnessRD said:

Have you asked your parents why they won't allow you to game? Have you tried to talk to them and say...

 

 "Hey, I'm doing well in school and do my chores. I'd like to upgrade my computer so I can do some recreational things like graphic design and casual gaming when you guys allow me an hour or two."

 

Like the others said, you gotta finesse it a bit. If that doesn't work, then you'll have to wait till you're older. Just keep being respectful with your inquiry when you ask them.

I don't know, I asked my dad and he didn't answer.

[Tristerin]

On 2/16/2020 at 3:30 PM, ShrimpBrime said:

Took wrong approach. Blew your cover early.

It was supposed to be a build for schooling and education. 

Can't change a parents mind, you gotta go with what they Will agree with.

 

Try again, leave out all the fancy LED stuff, it's for school. Not gaming. Gotta have the looks of an office PC to pull it off

 

Good Luck

 

 

 

This guy gets it

[Bombastinator]

Speaking as an old fart, there are reasonable reasons why a parent wouldn’t like games.  

Remember the thing your parents want literally more than anything else in the world is for you to have a good life.  If they don’t like gaming it’s because they think gaming gets between you and that.
 

Games do 2 things:

 

1: they suck up time.  Sometimes a lot of it.  You think you have infinite amounts of it but you really really don’t.

 

2: they usually don’t really teach anything useful.  Goes to the not having nearly as much time as you think you do.  You need NEED to learn as many useful and often seemingly not useful things as possible.  This spare time your life is full of will soon be flat out gone.  Never to be seen again.  Adults treasure a mere 15 minutes of spare time.  They often don’t get even that.

 

To get your parents to not dislike gaming you’ve got to 

 

A: make it useful time spent. (This is the point behind educational games). Maybe play up the social aspect.

B: figure out an non avoidable way to keep it from being a time suck.  There are people who destroy their lives by spending too much of them in fantasy worlds.  This is what your parents are afraid of.

[Sauron]

On 2/16/2020 at 10:16 PM, otherworldlynob said:

i7-8550U @ 2GHz
Intel UHD Graphics 620
8GB DDR4-2666MHz RAM

You can play a lot of games with that...

[Sauron]

1 hour ago, Bombastinator said:

1: they suck up time.  Sometimes a lot of it.  You think you have infinite amounts of it but you really really don’t.

While that's true, so do all hobbies - if that's the issue then it's logically incoherent not to prohibit TV, reading, sports, going out with friends etc. I spent a lot of time playing videogames in my life and yet I'm about to get my master's degree and I've already signed a work contract, all perfectly "in time"... so I can't really take people seriously when they say videogames impact their studies negatively unless they have an addiction. Usually if you're failing in school and spending a lot of time on games there are bigger problems under the surface... with games being more of a coping mechanism than the actual issue.

1 hour ago, Bombastinator said:

2: they usually don’t really teach anything useful.

That's actually not true. Most games train your reflexes and your ability for quick reasoning and puzzle games can train your logic skills in general (think Baba Is You or Human Resource Machine). Some even teach you some history or other useful things. And of course there are more than a few games that are intended to be educational as you mentioned.

 

But when I hear about parents being completely against videogames they generally don't care if or how they can be educational - they have already decided that they can't be and won't be persuaded of the contrary no matter what you say. They think they know better - which is sometimes true, but refusing to even listen to their kid or look for a compromise seems like a mistake to me.

 

I think the fundamental issue here is that OP's laptop is fine - he'll never be able to convince his parents that it's slow or unusable for anything other than games and he'll never be able to convince them that games are just a hobby like any other.

1 hour ago, Bombastinator said:

There are people who destroy their lives by spending too much of them in fantasy worlds.  This is what your parents are afraid of.

Couldn't they act on that if it ever became a problem?

[Bombastinator]

1 minute ago, Sauron said:

While that's true, so do all hobbies - if that's the issue then it's logically incoherent not to prohibit TV, reading, sports, going out with friends etc. I spent a lot of time playing videogames in my life and yet I'm about to get my master's degree and I've already signed a work contract, all perfectly "in time"... so I can't really take people seriously when they say videogames impact their studies negatively unless they have an addiction. Usually if you're failing in school and spending a lot of time on games there are bigger problems under the surface... with games being more of a coping mechanism than the actual issue.

That's actually not true. Most games train your reflexes and your ability for quick reasoning and puzzle games can train your logic skills in general (think Baba Is You or Human Resource Machine). Some even teach you some history or other useful things. And of course there are more than a few games that are intended to be educational as you mentioned.

 

But when I hear about parents being completely against videogames they generally don't care if or how they can be educational - they have already decided that they can't be and won't be persuaded of the contrary no matter what you say. They think they know better - which is sometimes true, but refusing to even listen to their kid or look for a compromise seems like a mistake to me.

 

I think the fundamental issue here is that OP's laptop is fine - he'll never be able to convince his parents that it's slow or unusable for anything other than games and he'll never be able to convince them that games are just a hobby like any other.

Couldn't they act on that if it ever became a problem?

Reasonable and correct are not the same thing

[greenmax]

2 hours ago, Bombastinator said:

why a parent wouldn’t like games.

Well my post earlier about the parents being strict religious folk is a valid point. 

Also the age of the parents themselves may be relevant.

If either is not mentioned, then there is the angle of Hippie parents, because I've seen some startling news of late, parents giving honey and herbs to a dying child that ends up in murder charges. Extreme I know, but the hippie angle is relevant as it would be giving a glimpse into their mentality and line of thinking. Say for example if computer gaming is bad, then are board games bad too. Do the parents allow for play with others or is it prohibited. I heard a story on Youtuber Joe Rogans cast about a fella being brought up a certain religious way, mormon or lds where he wasnt allowed to stand at class for anthem, play with kids, have new clothing.

I guess what I am getting at is there is a wide variety of parenting types out there, would need to know what else is prohibited in the family unit. As far as gaming goes, its a logical concern for parents, while the kid wants something thats forbidden/on the other side of the fence.

[FakeCIA]

I'm probably not the best person to offer advice, but here goes. First off, old people who refuse to get up to speed with the times, suck. It's 2020, quit calling smartphones satanic. Now, for OP, I'm not saying that you should tell your parents to F off like I did, I legally disowned my parents, but show them what you can do with a game like Minecraft. Show the artistry and creativity side of things. Given the specs you offered, I'd say you could get something pretty nice going, relatively. By making these builds, you could create servers to host with any friends you make online. Some of my closest friends, I made through Halo, Minecraft, and Call of Duty. There's a YouTube channel called Elysium Fire. They make timelapses of some of the most complex builds I've ever seen. Here is just one of their "small" builds. Course, I am not an expert by any means on how to talk to your parents. I think you are lucky that the only thing you're in conflict about is that they don't like gaming.

 

[greenmax]

2 minutes ago, FakeCIA said:

they don't like gaming.

Its a tough life these days isn't it.

[FakeCIA]

3 minutes ago, greenmax said:

Its a tough life these days isn't it.

Life is tough. It doesn't exactly come with instructions. So, if OP wants to game and enjoy life as is, let them. It would not be the end of the world if they did. Sure, a job and money are important, but making friends and meeting people around you that share the same interests keep you happy. Money should never be the center of your existence. You will be far more miserable if you think that way. You can always make money in some way. Friends and interacting with other humans is far more important.

[otherworldlynob]

This is quite an interesting argument going on.

I understand that there seems to be multiple sides. I'm going to try and respond to each.

 

16 hours ago, Sauron said:

You can play a lot of games with that...

It's not like they get me games anyway, I have Xbox Game Pass, games with that are usually kinda performance-hungry and are also big. I have a 466GB SSD, I can't fit many of those games on here.  Also, people keep saying this is enough, but can I please get a few examples? Other than 30FPS Minecraft, please.

 

 

17 hours ago, Tristerin said:

This guy gets it

As I said, I can't ask for some big thing for school. This laptop is just fine for everything school-related. 

 

15 hours ago, Sauron said:

While that's true, so do all hobbies - if that's the issue then it's logically incoherent not to prohibit TV, reading, sports, going out with friends etc. I spent a lot of time playing videogames in my life and yet I'm about to get my master's degree and I've already signed a work contract, all perfectly "in time"... so I can't really take people seriously when they say videogames impact their studies negatively unless they have an addiction. Usually if you're failing in school and spending a lot of time on games there are bigger problems under the surface... with games being more of a coping mechanism than the actual issue.

That's actually not true. Most games train your reflexes and your ability for quick reasoning and puzzle games can train your logic skills in general (think Baba Is You or Human Resource Machine). Some even teach you some history or other useful things. And of course there are more than a few games that are intended to be educational as you mentioned.

 

But when I hear about parents being completely against videogames they generally don't care if or how they can be educational - they have already decided that they can't be and won't be persuaded of the contrary no matter what you say. They think they know better - which is sometimes true, but refusing to even listen to their kid or look for a compromise seems like a mistake to me.

 

I think the fundamental issue here is that OP's laptop is fine - he'll never be able to convince his parents that it's slow or unusable for anything other than games and he'll never be able to convince them that games are just a hobby like any other.

Couldn't they act on that if it ever became a problem?

Gotta say, I agree with you the most here. I mean it may just be my bias as OP, but basically my thoughts. I suppose the entire issue here is that they've already accepted a way of thinking and it'll be hard to change it now. My dad is a smart guy but he seems to be a bit stubborn regarding his view on video games.

 

14 hours ago, greenmax said:

Well my post earlier about the parents being strict religious folk is a valid point. 

Also the age of the parents themselves may be relevant.

If either is not mentioned, then there is the angle of Hippie parents, because I've seen some startling news of late, parents giving honey and herbs to a dying child that ends up in murder charges. Extreme I know, but the hippie angle is relevant as it would be giving a glimpse into their mentality and line of thinking. Say for example if computer gaming is bad, then are board games bad too. Do the parents allow for play with others or is it prohibited. I heard a story on Youtuber Joe Rogans cast about a fella being brought up a certain religious way, mormon or lds where he wasnt allowed to stand at class for anthem, play with kids, have new clothing.

I guess what I am getting at is there is a wide variety of parenting types out there, would need to know what else is prohibited in the family unit. As far as gaming goes, its a logical concern for parents, while the kid wants something thats forbidden/on the other side of the fence.

They're not hippies, we're not an American family and weren't exposed to that stuff at all. As for religion, it's not like our religion is strictly against it or anything, but I don't think the more inappropriate/extremely violent games would be allowed.

 

14 hours ago, FakeCIA said:

I'm probably not the best person to offer advice, but here goes. First off, old people who refuse to get up to speed with the times, suck. It's 2020, quit calling smartphones satanic. Now, for OP, I'm not saying that you should tell your parents to F off like I did, I legally disowned my parents, but show them what you can do with a game like Minecraft. Show the artistry and creativity side of things. Given the specs you offered, I'd say you could get something pretty nice going, relatively. By making these builds, you could create servers to host with any friends you make online. Some of my closest friends, I made through Halo, Minecraft, and Call of Duty. There's a YouTube channel called Elysium Fire. They make timelapses of some of the most complex builds I've ever seen. Here is just one of their "small" builds. Course, I am not an expert by any means on how to talk to your parents. I think you are lucky that the only thing you're in conflict about is that they don't like gaming.

 

Yeah, I suppose that doesn't really appeal to them. I'm not really the type to build giant builds in Minecraft, I'm more of a Hypixel player tbh. I can't run shaders like the ones Elysium uses very well on this laptop but I choose to anyway because I don't like it without them.


Well, sure, my specs may be fine, but the issue still remains that laptops are completely unsteady. This laptop has broken on the side and the frame surrounding the screen is barely attached. Also, you can never rely on laptops for best performance. So what looks like okay specs actually doesn't work out well. My laptop runs at over 120 degrees while on Google Chrome, also my RAM is always in high use.

I've tried Forza Horizon 4. Game simply crashed after a bit. I've been inspired to try and run something else now, although my network is hardly reliable. WiFi speed is great, but it just stops for like 10 seconds and disconnects me sometimes. I think my wifi adapter has issues too. This is also part of laptops being unsteady. I mean they're generally unreliable unless you pay thousands for them or get a Mac, which would not be good for gaming anyways.

I may be wrong in all this, but it's not like I've been exposed to much other than the generic $600 laptops I've had. (I mean you can get a nice gaming laptop for $650 last I checked, but I wasn't quite as knowledgeable last time we were laptop-shopping)

Thanks for contributing to this, guys, I really appreciate it.

[GDRRiley]

16 minutes ago, otherworldlynob said:

Well, sure, my specs may be fine, but the issue still remains that laptops are completely unsteady. This laptop has broken on the side and the frame surrounding the screen is barely attached. Also, you can never rely on laptops for best performance. So what looks like okay specs actually doesn't work out well. My laptop runs at over 120 degrees while on Google Chrome, also my RAM is always in high use.

120F is fine. even if it was 200F that'd be okay.its 90-100C is bad

lookup your model and see if you can add ram. 16gb of ram will help with chrome and 0 reason you couldn't do that. Something is using ram so figure out what it is.

There is tons of free games you can play on that laptop from CS GO, War thunder.

 

You could also trying NVIDIA game streaming. The free version would work well.

 

I'd say keep an eye out for an older workstation and just toss in a used GPU off some used site.

 

 

As for making them like it, no way to. You could try and hide it around video or photo editing or 3d modding.

[otherworldlynob]

7 minutes ago, GDRRiley said:

120F is fine. even if it was 200F that'd be okay.its 90-100C is bad

lookup your model and see if you can add ram. 16gb of ram will help with chrome and 0 reason you couldn't do that. Something is using ram so figure out what it is.

There is tons of free games you can play on that laptop from CS GO, War thunder.

 

You could also trying NVIDIA game streaming. The free version would work well.

 

I'd say keep an eye out for an older workstation and just toss in a used GPU off some used site.

 

 

As for making them like it, no way to. You could try and hide it around video or photo editing or 3d modding.

Yeah but where would I buy that RAM? Parents don't let me buy stuff for gaming. Alright yes, thank you for actually giving me suggestions for games and not just saying "you can still run games!"

Yeah, but most of the games I have aren't on Geforce Now.

No, parents won't let me buy anything for gaming.

[dalekphalm]

32 minutes ago, otherworldlynob said:

-snip-

FYI, 130F is around 54.4C - for a laptop CPU, that's literally normal. Especially one without beefy cooling.

 

As stated by @GDRRiley, you need to get into the 80-90C+ territory to start worrying.

 

Also for future reference, please list CPU temps in Celsius - basically nobody (including Americans) list it in Fahrenheit. If you tell someone your CPU is running at "120 degrees", they will assume you mean Celsius, and they will assume you've already literally caught on fire, burned your house down, and died.

 

Edit: also why do you have Game Pass? I hope you're not paying for it... you said you don't have a Console (no Xbox therefore), and your PC isn't really suited to most of the games on Game Pass.

 

If you are paying for it... just... uh... cancel it and save some money.

 

As for the original question?

 

We can't help you. You need to convince your parents to allow you to game, or you need to game outside of your home at your friends place or whatever.

 

Talk to your parents. If your dad doesn't listen, talk to your mom. Let them explain why they feel the way they do. Try and find common ground. And above all, don't be the little piss-ant shit who whines and says he "has to game". Your parent's won't care, and it won't help. Be mature - be reasonable - and be calm.

[Bombastinator]

2 minutes ago, comander said:

Play older games. 

You have thousands that'll work. 

The only real issue you face right now is that you can't play "the latest and greatest". 

This is true.  I was looking at merely phone games recently and holy crud!  It’s a whole new world!  There’s stuff there better than Desktop games from 5-10 years ago.

 

The big question is do these games serve another purpose?  Being able to talk to friends about them etc..?  My parents were terribly unimpressed with fashion for example.  Their attitude is reasonable.  Fashion is BS that changes randomly and has almost nothing to do with reality.  It wound up really messing with me though because I was the kid in the weirdo clothes and it got me socially ostracized.  Messed with my life.  Much bigger problem than what they thought they were fixing.

[GDRRiley]

1 minute ago, otherworldlynob said:

Yeah but where would I buy that RAM? Parents don't let me buy stuff for gaming. Alright yes, thank you for actually giving me suggestions for games and not just saying "you can still run games!"

RAM isn't for gaming its used by everything.

open TTD, Startcraft, fist full of frags, steams got thousands of free games. here is 30K+ older flash games https://bluemaxima.org/flashpoint/

 

[Sauron]

1 hour ago, otherworldlynob said:

It's not like they get me games anyway, I have Xbox Game Pass, games with that are usually kinda performance-hungry and are also big. I have a 466GB SSD, I can't fit many of those games on here.  Also, people keep saying this is enough, but can I please get a few examples? Other than 30FPS Minecraft, please.

Here are some examples of games that will run just fine:

SC2

Bioshock (any of them)

DOTA/LoL/Heroes of the Storm

Fortnite

CSGO

DOOM 2016 (should get you about 30 fps, still playable) - or any other Doom or Quake game, they're all a blast

Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy

...and generally anything from 2010 or earlier, which includes thousands of great games. Many are free.

 

Not to mention that there are plenty of 2D or otherwise non graphically intensive games that you can play and have a blast with. Shovel Knight is amazing. Emulators should also greatly expand your library of playable games.

 

I had a Pentium 4 with 1GB of RAM and integrated graphics back in 2010 - that didn't stop me from playing... at least you have something that isn't a decade old.

[Archer20]

You can always start playing League of Legends on that. Doesn't require much. Very fun game once you get the hang of it.

[SpookyCitrus]

Honestly until you turn 16, 17, or even 18 years old and they start letting you make decisions for yourself or when you're legally an adult, there's not really much you can do. They more than likely want you to focus on school, only reason I can think of for any parent buying a nice 8th gen i7 laptop for schoolwork for a less than 16 year old. I didn't really have a problem with my parents limiting what I could buy or do, basically if I worked hard and earned the money myself I could really buy anything I wanted, within reason for my age of course. Some parents aren't like that, especially ones that have never played a video game in their life and just see it as a waste of time, or buy into the media spiel about it being a bad influence. But until you have some sort of free range or you're old enough to move out, your parents are still going to have the say in everything you do or buy especially if you're still as young as I've gathered from the post. Gaming computers are expensive, a better bet for you would be to go for a console, they're selling for pretty cheap on Facebook Marketplace an you can also check in your local classifieds. If it's cheap and can be regulated by your parents with time limits and other factors then they may be more keen to the idea of letting you start playing video games. Since they really wont even let you buy computer parts like ram because they think it's for gaming it may just not be the right time, wait a few more months or years depending on your age and try again, wait for a birthday or Christmas and ask for one then. Sometimes there are things you want to do or buy when you're young that your parents just can't get you whether they want to and can't afford it or don't want to and can, in those instances it's something you put on the back burner until you can get it for yourself or they have some sort of change in either their finances or their mindset.

[otherworldlynob]

4 hours ago, dalekphalm said:

FYI, 130F is around 54.4C - for a laptop CPU, that's literally normal. Especially one without beefy cooling.

 

As stated by @GDRRiley, you need to get into the 80-90C+ territory to start worrying.

 

Also for future reference, please list CPU temps in Celsius - basically nobody (including Americans) list it in Fahrenheit. If you tell someone your CPU is running at "120 degrees", they will assume you mean Celsius, and they will assume you've already literally caught on fire, burned your house down, and died.

 

Edit: also why do you have Game Pass? I hope you're not paying for it... you said you don't have a Console (no Xbox therefore), and your PC isn't really suited to most of the games on Game Pass.

 

If you are paying for it... just... uh... cancel it and save some money.

 

As for the original question?

 

We can't help you. You need to convince your parents to allow you to game, or you need to game outside of your home at your friends place or whatever.

 

Talk to your parents. If your dad doesn't listen, talk to your mom. Let them explain why they feel the way they do. Try and find common ground. And above all, don't be the little piss-ant shit who whines and says he "has to game". Your parent's won't care, and it won't help. Be mature - be reasonable - and be calm.

My Game Pass is from various codes I got for free. Anyway my mom has the same idea as my dad. My dad didn't tell me when I asked why he feels that way. Also yes, I am not an ant with rampant urine. I explained to my dad in a 5 page essay why he should let me game. It was "the dumbest thing he's ever read"

[otherworldlynob]

4 hours ago, Bombastinator said:

This is true.  I was looking at merely phone games recently and holy crud!  It’s a whole new world!  There’s stuff there better than Desktop games from 5-10 years ago.

 

The big question is do these games serve another purpose?  Being able to talk to friends about them etc..?  My parents were terribly unimpressed with fashion for example.  Their attitude is reasonable.  Fashion is BS that changes randomly and has almost nothing to do with reality.  It wound up really messing with me though because I was the kid in the weirdo clothes and it got me socially ostracized.  Messed with my life.  Much bigger problem than what they thought they were fixing.

I mean I don't have a phone ("Why would a 12 year old need a phone??" - my parents) As for my iPad, it's an old iPad and is pretty slow and storage is full at most times because 16GB can't fit much

[otherworldlynob]

4 hours ago, GDRRiley said:

RAM isn't for gaming its used by everything.

open TTD, Startcraft, fist full of frags, steams got thousands of free games. here is 30K+ older flash games https://bluemaxima.org/flashpoint/

 

Same thing, basically anything I want related for computers falls under gaming to them.

[otherworldlynob]

3 hours ago, Sauron said:

Here are some examples of games that will run just fine:

SC2

Bioshock (any of them)

DOTA/LoL/Heroes of the Storm

Fortnite

CSGO

DOOM 2016 (should get you about 30 fps, still playable) - or any other Doom or Quake game, they're all a blast

Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy

...and generally anything from 2010 or earlier, which includes thousands of great games. Many are free.

 

Not to mention that there are plenty of 2D or otherwise non graphically intensive games that you can play and have a blast with. Shovel Knight is amazing. Emulators should also greatly expand your library of playable games.

 

I had a Pentium 4 with 1GB of RAM and integrated graphics back in 2010 - that didn't stop me from playing... at least you have something that isn't a decade old.

Well thank you for an actual list of games. Never did like Fortnite because of the cringe dancing, but I like a few of those games.

[dalekphalm]

2 minutes ago, otherworldlynob said:

My Game Pass is from various codes I got for free. Anyway my mom has the same idea as my dad. My dad didn't tell me when I asked why he feels that way. Also yes, I am not an ant with rampant urine. I explained to my dad in a 5 page essay why he should let me game. It was "the dumbest thing he's ever read"

*Shrugs*

 

If your parents won't listen, and your dad called your essay dumb, I guess you're kind of screwed.

 

I gave you some advice - try to think about it, take a step back, and try a different tactic. If that's insufficient, or that doesn't work, you'll either have to try something else or accept the situation as-is.

[otherworldlynob]

3 hours ago, Archer20 said:

You can always start playing League of Legends on that. Doesn't require much. Very fun game once you get the hang of it.

Yeah I like it, one of the choices I do have is LoL. I play it every once in a while.