My Parents Don't Like Gaming

[otherworldlynob]

On 2/17/2020 at 7:59 PM, Sauron said:

While that's true, so do all hobbies - if that's the issue then it's logically incoherent not to prohibit TV, reading, sports, going out with friends etc. I spent a lot of time playing videogames in my life and yet I'm about to get my master's degree and I've already signed a work contract, all perfectly "in time"... so I can't really take people seriously when they say videogames impact their studies negatively unless they have an addiction. Usually if you're failing in school and spending a lot of time on games there are bigger problems under the surface... with games being more of a coping mechanism than the actual issue.

That's actually not true. Most games train your reflexes and your ability for quick reasoning and puzzle games can train your logic skills in general (think Baba Is You or Human Resource Machine). Some even teach you some history or other useful things. And of course there are more than a few games that are intended to be educational as you mentioned.

 

But when I hear about parents being completely against videogames they generally don't care if or how they can be educational - they have already decided that they can't be and won't be persuaded of the contrary no matter what you say. They think they know better - which is sometimes true, but refusing to even listen to their kid or look for a compromise seems like a mistake to me.

 

I think the fundamental issue here is that OP's laptop is fine - he'll never be able to convince his parents that it's slow or unusable for anything other than games and he'll never be able to convince them that games are just a hobby like any other.

Couldn't they act on that if it ever became a problem?

All of you guys, I'm wondering if each of you could possibly write a quote which I could collect to base my explanations on. Preferably make them addressed as if you were talking to my dad himself and convincing him. Thank you.

[otherworldlynob]

On 2/17/2020 at 8:58 PM, FakeCIA said:

I'm probably not the best person to offer advice, but here goes. First off, old people who refuse to get up to speed with the times, suck. It's 2020, quit calling smartphones satanic. Now, for OP, I'm not saying that you should tell your parents to F off like I did, I legally disowned my parents, but show them what you can do with a game like Minecraft. Show the artistry and creativity side of things. Given the specs you offered, I'd say you could get something pretty nice going, relatively. By making these builds, you could create servers to host with any friends you make online. Some of my closest friends, I made through Halo, Minecraft, and Call of Duty. There's a YouTube channel called Elysium Fire. They make timelapses of some of the most complex builds I've ever seen. Here is just one of their "small" builds. Course, I am not an expert by any means on how to talk to your parents. I think you are lucky that the only thing you're in conflict about is that they don't like gaming.

 

All of you guys, I'm wondering if each of you could possibly write a quote which I could collect to base my explanations on. Preferably make them addressed as if you were talking to my dad himself and convincing him. Thank you.

[otherworldlynob]

On 2/17/2020 at 9:14 PM, FakeCIA said:

Life is tough. It doesn't exactly come with instructions. So, if OP wants to game and enjoy life as is, let them. It would not be the end of the world if they did. Sure, a job and money are important, but making friends and meeting people around you that share the same interests keep you happy. Money should never be the center of your existence. You will be far more miserable if you think that way. You can always make money in some way. Friends and interacting with other humans is far more important.

All of you guys, I'm wondering if each of you could possibly write a quote which I could collect to base my explanations on. Preferably make them addressed as if you were talking to my dad himself and convincing him. Thank you.

[otherworldlynob]

On 2/18/2020 at 1:58 PM, SpookyCitrus said:

Honestly until you turn 16, 17, or even 18 years old and they start letting you make decisions for yourself or when you're legally an adult, there's not really much you can do. They more than likely want you to focus on school, only reason I can think of for any parent buying a nice 8th gen i7 laptop for schoolwork for a less than 16 year old. I didn't really have a problem with my parents limiting what I could buy or do, basically if I worked hard and earned the money myself I could really buy anything I wanted, within reason for my age of course. Some parents aren't like that, especially ones that have never played a video game in their life and just see it as a waste of time, or buy into the media spiel about it being a bad influence. But until you have some sort of free range or you're old enough to move out, your parents are still going to have the say in everything you do or buy especially if you're still as young as I've gathered from the post. Gaming computers are expensive, a better bet for you would be to go for a console, they're selling for pretty cheap on Facebook Marketplace an you can also check in your local classifieds. If it's cheap and can be regulated by your parents with time limits and other factors then they may be more keen to the idea of letting you start playing video games. Since they really wont even let you buy computer parts like ram because they think it's for gaming it may just not be the right time, wait a few more months or years depending on your age and try again, wait for a birthday or Christmas and ask for one then. Sometimes there are things you want to do or buy when you're young that your parents just can't get you whether they want to and can't afford it or don't want to and can, in those instances it's something you put on the back burner until you can get it for yourself or they have some sort of change in either their finances or their mindset.

All of you guys, I'm wondering if each of you could possibly write a quote which I could collect to base my explanations on. Preferably make them addressed as if you were talking to my dad himself and convincing him. Thank you.

[otherworldlynob]

On 2/18/2020 at 6:18 PM, mr moose said:

You are looking for a solution to an environmental problem.  People are stubborn by nature (all people), and the one inescapable fact of life is that when you are young you are not considered to be experienced enough know what is good for you, the biggest trap younger generations fall into is demanding and making the "it's not fair" argument.  These two things only compound the problem and never fix anything.    It doesn't matter what you think, the issue is what your parents think and why.   

 

As you grow you will be able to start to apply some leverage, but you have to be smart about it,  many people respond to maturity long before they respond intellectual arguments.    5 pages essays say you are trying to convince them they are wrong rather than show them you are deserving.   It is likely your father didn't even read it, after all his job is to raise you, not be taught by you.   I know some of this makes life hard and futile for now, but the reality is that all life is hard and futile, it does not change as you grow, you simply trade off some oppression for other forms of oppression.   What is important is how you approach it and that in turn determines how soon you get what you want.

All of you guys, I'm wondering if each of you could possibly write a quote which I could collect to base my explanations on. Preferably make them addressed as if you were talking to my dad himself and convincing him. Thank you.

[otherworldlynob]

22 hours ago, ShrimpBrime said:

Well, sounds like getting gaming for you is next to impossible. 

 

I thought it was pretty neat that you made that letter. Not a bad idea to educate them, but if they aren't willing to learn, then you're at a loss. That's what they fear for you. Parents job, make kids succeed. All costs. Even children unhappy.

 

My approach with my kids, all 5 years apart is quite simple. Positive reinforcement. 

They are allowed to game, that's not an issue. They loose the privilege if the grades are no good. 

My 13 year old daughter has a 4.1 GPA. She's free to do as she pleases. Gonna succeed that one will for sure.

Got my oldest in college already. Time flies. Youngest still in grade school. He's doing very well in class, also rewarded.

 

They do something wrong, which is seldom, they don't get treated like animals. I talk with them to be sure they understand what's what. We go about our business. I do not generally take things away from them. It generates hatred. Not a good approach.

 

Had an issue with my youngest. last year hitting people. I cured this with only talk and at home wrestling. It helps him release aggravation and energy. No need to take games away from him, that never works. 

 

Parenting ain't easy, they are just doing what they think is best.

All of you guys, I'm wondering if each of you could possibly write a quote which I could collect to base my explanations on. Preferably make them addressed as if you were talking to my dad himself and convincing him. Thank you.

[otherworldlynob]

22 hours ago, greenmax said:

Yeah that means they are co-dependent and enablers, very unhealthy but what can a child do, not much if anything.

 

Therapy helps

Counselling helps

All of you guys, I'm wondering if each of you could possibly write a quote which I could collect to base my explanations on. Preferably make them addressed as if you were talking to my dad himself and convincing him. Thank you.

[mr moose]

10 minutes ago, otherworldlynob said:

All of you guys, I'm wondering if each of you could possibly write a quote which I could collect to base my explanations on. Preferably make them addressed as if you were talking to my dad himself and convincing him. Thank you.

I could try, but ultimately I think I would be trying to address problems I don't understand.  I don't know your parents, who they are, what they do, their philosophical beliefs.

 

You have my sympathy, that really is an awful position to be in.    Parental child dynamics are a very loaded dynamic and surprising different in every situation, even when we can characterize interpersonal traits and conditions and apply them almost universally. 

[FakeCIA]

46 minutes ago, otherworldlynob said:

All of you guys, I'm wondering if each of you could possibly write a quote which I could collect to base my explanations on. Preferably make them addressed as if you were talking to my dad himself and convincing him. Thank you.

I am not the best person to offer a quote that you can use outside of what I've already said. I offer you the best of luck though.

[Mister Woof]

Mine either. But I'm 38 and I do what I want.

[FakeCIA]

25 minutes ago, FakeCIA said:

I am not the best person to offer a quote that you can use outside of what I've already said. I offer you the best of luck though.

I do want to add a note. While I can't help with a minor civil dispute like this, I can help if there is a domestic criminal dispute that needs law enforcement involvement. If your parents are harming you in a physical/mental capacity that extends into violence or is causing damages in any capacity that is deemed unacceptable by law, if you believe this to be true, I can send a private message that will contain a list of agencies, hotlines, and individuals you can contact. Be aware that there are legal consequences to pursuing this route, both good and bad. Given my experience, parents that restrict their children are more prone to violent domestic disputes. Given your recent comments, this has me concerned for your wellbeing and safety. Be aware that I am not a law enforcement officer, I just have a degree for it and friends in the industry.

[Mister Woof]

I'd like to say that you write very well for a middle school student.

 

I read inmate writing all day and it's refreshing to see young people with writing skills.

 

That said, you're at the mercy of your parents' decisions.

 

Your best bet is it try to get one of your parents to come around to the idea of gaming as a positive thing. Perhaps involve them in a session somehow and see if they will come around.

 

Otherwise..... You'll be a grown up one day and make your own rules.

[Mister Woof]

5 hours ago, otherworldlynob said:

All of you guys, I'm wondering if each of you could possibly write a quote which I could collect to base my explanations on. Preferably make them addressed as if you were talking to my dad himself and convincing him. Thank you.

 

He'd spend the same amount of time reading these surveys as he did your essay.

 

Get him in front of a PC and allow him the pleasure of experiencing it himself.

Maybe then he'll understand.

[Mister Woof]

I do find it odd why he won't tell you why video games are prohibited.

 

Whenever I deny my kids things, I always explain why. I usually offer an acceptable alternative as well.

 

99% of the time they understand and generally agree with me, and are happy with an alternative.

 

Example, I won't let my son play Fortnite because I believe it makes kids a bit insane, but I do allow him to play FFXIV and I pay his account. He gets to experience a story, and express himself through his character, without going around shooting other people.

[FakeCIA]

Just now, Mister Woof said:

I do find it odd why he won't tell you why video games are prohibited.

 

Whenever I deny my kids things, I always explain why. I usually offer an acceptable alternative as well.

 

99% of the time they understand and generally agree with me, and are happy with an alternative.

All ya gotta do is talk. There is no need to be violent or be authoritative without reason. I like your point.

[otherworldlynob]

5 hours ago, mr moose said:

I could try, but ultimately I think I would be trying to address problems I don't understand.  I don't know your parents, who they are, what they do, their philosophical beliefs.

 

You have my sympathy, that really is an awful position to be in.    Parental child dynamics are a very loaded dynamic and surprising different in every situation, even when we can characterize interpersonal traits and conditions and apply them almost universally. 

I understand you completely here; these situations can be so complex.

[otherworldlynob]

4 hours ago, FakeCIA said:

I do want to add a note. While I can't help with a minor civil dispute like this, I can help if there is a domestic criminal dispute that needs law enforcement involvement. If your parents are harming you in a physical/mental capacity that extends into violence or is causing damages in any capacity that is deemed unacceptable by law, if you believe this to be true, I can send a private message that will contain a list of agencies, hotlines, and individuals you can contact. Be aware that there are legal consequences to pursuing this route, both good and bad. Given my experience, parents that restrict their children are more prone to violent domestic disputes. Given your recent comments, this has me concerned for your wellbeing and safety. Be aware that I am not a law enforcement officer, I just have a degree for it and friends in the industry.

No, this isn't violence or anything, just that I suppose they don't understand how modern kids are completely different.

[otherworldlynob]

34 minutes ago, Mister Woof said:

I'd like to say that you write very well for a middle school student.

 

I read inmate writing all day and it's refreshing to see young people with writing skills.

 

That said, you're at the mercy of your parents' decisions.

 

Your best bet is it try to get one of your parents to come around to the idea of gaming as a positive thing. Perhaps involve them in a session somehow and see if they will come around.

 

Otherwise..... You'll be a grown up one day and make your own rules.

I expect it'll be slightly difficult to convince one of them to try gaming, but suppose it's one of the few routes left. I mean it's not like they were ever introduced to gaming like a lot of Americans were, they moved to America in the 2000s.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, otherworldlynob said:

All of you guys, I'm wondering if each of you could possibly write a quote which I could collect to base my explanations on. Preferably make them addressed as if you were talking to my dad himself and convincing him. Thank you.

Well all those quotes are not necessary, Likely nothing I can say will convince your Dad of anything. 

Him and I are very two different people. We come from different places, backgrounds and ideology.

He cannot convince me there is actually a god any more than I can convince him there may be many gods (In example)

 

 But I will offer one last story.

 

About 20 years ago, the old timer at the shop I apprenticed at was Anti-Video gaming. Hard core, "It's for little kids yada yada" 

I set up a PC in my hutch at the shop. Socket 939 actually. Anyhow, this guy was raised on a farm, hunting was in the mans blood.

Wait for it.......

So I load up this PC right. Got Window XP running smooth and solid. Fired up a game called Deer Avenger. 

From across the shop I hear him ask, "hey is that a hunting game??" I said yea, come check it out. 

The gripper, he was enthused that you where the deer, hunting the human hunter. Gotta kick out of that!!!

Now getting him to operate the keyboard and mouse took a couple of tried. Was easy to give up at first..... Until his first kill.

Then hooked. Spent about 2000 dollars a week later with an entire setup including SLI and everything.

 

____

 

So an idea comes to mind. Instead of asking for a gaming rig, see if you can get the family off to an arcade. You really need your parents to experience the gaming to actually have some kind of appreciation for the entertainment value of it.

[otherworldlynob]

19 minutes ago, Mister Woof said:

I do find it odd why he won't tell you why video games are prohibited.

 

Whenever I deny my kids things, I always explain why. I usually offer an acceptable alternative as well.

 

99% of the time they understand and generally agree with me, and are happy with an alternative.

 

Example, I won't let my son play Fortnite because I believe it makes kids a bit insane, but I do allow him to play FFXIV and I pay his account. He gets to experience a story, and express himself through his character, without going around shooting other people.

I feel like I should wait for a while before asking again.

[Mister Woof]

Just now, otherworldlynob said:

I expect it'll be slightly difficult to convince one of them to try gaming, but suppose it's one of the few routes left. I mean it's not like they were ever introduced to gaming like a lot of Americans were, they moved to America in the 2000s.

Where did they originate?

 

My parents are Chinese and it took a lot of whining to get an NES in the late 80s.

[otherworldlynob]

Just now, ShrimpBrime said:

Well all those quotes are not necessary, Likely nothing I can say will convince your Dad of anything. 

Him and I are very two different people. We come from different places, backgrounds and ideology.

He cannot convince me there is actually a god any more than I can convince him there may be many gods (In example)

 

 But I will offer one last story.

 

About 2 years ago, the old timer at the shop I apprenticed at was Anti-Video gaming. Hard core, "It's for little kids yada yada" 

I set up a PC in my hutch at the shop. Socket 939 actually. Anyhow, this guy was raised on a farm, hunting was in the mans blood.

Wait for it.......

So I load up this PC right. Got Window XP running smooth and solid. Fired up a game called Deer Avenger. 

From across the shop I hear him ask, "hey is that a hunting game??" I said yea, come check it out. 

The gripper, he was enthused that you where the deer, hunting the human hunter. Gotta kick out of that!!!

Now getting him to operate the keyboard and mouse took a couple of tried. Was easy to give up at first..... Until his first kill.

Then hooked. Spent about 2000 dollars a week later with an entire setup including SLI and everything.

 

____

 

So an idea comes to mind. Instead of asking for a gaming rig, see if you can get the family off to an arcade. You really need your parents to experience the gaming to actually have some kind of appreciation for the entertainment value of it.

Interesting. I just found out about places called LAN Centers (why did I not here about this before?) that are essentially PC arcades and charge an hourly fee. Planning to go to one soon with friends, maybe I can get the rest of them to try it out.

[otherworldlynob]

Just now, Mister Woof said:

Where did they originate?

 

My parents are Chinese and it took a lot of whining to get an NES in the late 80s.

They came from Pakistan and Dubai

[Guest]

1 minute ago, otherworldlynob said:

Interesting. I just found out about places called LAN Centers (why did I not here about this before?) that are essentially PC arcades and charge an hourly fee. Planning to go to one soon with friends, maybe I can get the rest of them to try it out.

Yea, they just need to try and have fun and experience it. 

But I recommend old school arcade. Not just strictly PC arcade. You want to focus on gaming and atmosphere. 

 

Something like Dave and Busters (they have also PC gaming section) 

It's more family oriented, has a bar food drink tables and so forth.

your little sister will love it too. 

But I think the LAN party idea is just not the right focus for your approach.

 

I have a Family HTPC. Mom and I have our own PCs the kids share the one. 

You want to focus on family room entertainment setting and atmosphere. That's why my suggestion is as such.

 

 

 

[otherworldlynob]

1 minute ago, ShrimpBrime said:

Yea, they just need to try and have fun and experience it. 

But I recommend old school arcade. Not just strictly PC arcade. You want to focus on gaming and atmosphere. 

 

Something like Dave and Busters (they have also PC gaming section) 

It's more family oriented, has a bar food drink tables and so forth.

your little sister will love it too. 

But I think the LAN party idea is just not the right focus for your approach.

 

I have a Family HTPC. Mom and I have our own PCs the kids share the one. 

You want to focus on family room entertainment setting and atmosphere. That's why my suggestion is as such.

 

 

 

They have a PC gaming section at Dave and Busters? Wow. That's a surprise.

Anyway yeah, if we ever go to Dave and Busters I'll look at it. I doubted the LAN party idea anyways.