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Give me your best insults!

Owen
By Owen
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Posted

I'm getting into android development and thought a super easy and fun first project would be another insults/jokes app. I want to know the best insults and comebacks that you have so I can include them in the app!

 

Categories:

 

  • Everyday/random insults
  • Insults for stupid people
  • Insults for fat people
  • Insults for ugly people 
  • Yo mama jokes/insults
  • Comebacks

 

For the forums sake try to keep it 14A, if it's really bad then just PM me it :P

Me: Yeah I just really can't get my H220 working again, I've tried everything that was suggested in the forum.

Brian (Swiftech Support): Hmm, have you tried slapping it?

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Posted

This is gonna get bad real quick

<--- indeed
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You’re about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican

 

You bowl like your momma. Unless of course she bowls well, in which case you bowl nothing like her.

 

You are a fart factory, slug-slimed sack of rat guts in cat vomit. A cheesy scab picked pimple squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side.

 

I think… no, I am positive… that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. In the short time we’ve been together, you have demonstrated every loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you’re morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You’re not even interesting enough to make me sick.

 

Copernicus just called: You’re not the center of the universe.

 

________________________________

 

Just keep it relatively clean, no reason for getting warnings....

PC SYSTEM: Fractal Design Arc Midi R2 / i5 2500k @ 4.2ghz / CM Hyper 212 EVO / Gigabyte 670 OC SLI / MSI P67A-GD53 B3 / Kingston HyperX Blue 8Gb / 

WD 2tb Storage Drive / BenQ GW2750HM - ASUS VE248H - Panasonic TX-P42ST60B/ Corsair AX750 / Logitech K360 / Razer Naga / Plantronics Gamecom 380 /

Asus Xonar DGX / Samsung 830 256gb / MEDIA : eMachine ER1401 running OpenELEC XBMC with Seagate STBV3000200 3TB Hard Drive - Panasonic TX-P42ST60B

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Posted

your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

msi z97m gaming - i5 4690k @4.4ghz 1.2V - corsair h110 - powercolor r9 290x pcs+ - 8GB corsair vengeance dual channel @2133mhz - thermaltake smart power se 730watts - intel 530 series 240GB ssd - seagate 1tb 7200rpm - corsiar obsidian 350D - 2x enermax tb silence 140mm - logitech x-530 - sony mdr xb600 - medion 24'' 1080P - cm storm quickfire tk white edition with cherry mx red - cheap but awesome mouse #GloriousPaintMasterRace

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I have FAR too many warning points racked up. I could take this thread by storm, but I don't think I'd be around for you to reply to me.

"Say it, do it, preach it, shout it, but never, absolutely never, believe your own bullshit"   


Credited with the whole female avatar trend


Your thoughts here http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/67178-your-top-three/

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Posted

I don't have any new insults

I told all of them to your mom last night

AMD Athlon X4 750k; Gigabyte F2A88XM-DS2; 8Gb Corsair XMS 1600 Mhz; AMD Hd5670 1Gb DDR3; Bequiet E6-600W; W7 Ultimate x64

#KILLEDMYWIFE                                                                                                                                                                                                                         so miner; very doge; much value   

Dell Vostro 5470: i5 4200U Nvidia GT740m 2Gb 14" 1366x768 Kingston V300 120Gb                                                                                              

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You Smell ....

CPU - Intel 4670k  Motherboard - Gigabyte GA-Z87X-D3H  RAM - Kingston HyperX 8GB  GPU - EVGA 780  Case - Fractal Design Define R4    Storage - 2TB WD Black, Samsung 840 Evo 128GB     PSU - Corsair RM650  Display -  Benq XL2430T and Acer S235HL  Cooling - CM Hyper 212 Evo  Keyboard - Corsair K95  Mouse - Razer Deathadder  Sound - Sennheiser HD 558                                 Mic - Blue Snowball  Phone- OnePlus One  Tablet - Nvidia Shield

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Your face is birth Control. is one of my favourites

====>The car thread<====>Dark Souls thread<====>Placeholder<====
"Life is like a raging river, Its gonna get rough downstream. And people's gonna piss in it" 

"Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?"

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EA.

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Posted (edited)

Nm I think its a bit too much

Edited by nicehat

AMD FX-8350 @ 4.7Ghz when gaming | MSI 990FXA-GD80 v2 | Swiftech H220 | Sapphire Radeon HD 7950  +  XFX Radeon 7950 | 8 Gigs of Crucial Ballistix Tracers | 140 GB Raptor X | 1 TB WD Blue | 250 GB Samsung Pro SSD | 120 GB Samsung SSD | 750 Watt Antec HCG PSU | Corsair C70 Mil Green

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Posted

Your such a big turd that when your on the beach. A mob of cats come and burry you.

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I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit a better argument than that.

 

Some babies were dropped on their heads, but you were clearly thrown at the wall.

█ Motherboard: MSI Z97S Krait Edition █ CPU: Intel i7-4790K █ GPU: Nvidia Geforce GTX 780Ti █ RAM: 8GB AVEXIR DDR3 1600  █ Storage: 120GB Kingston HyperX SSD + 1TB Seagate Barracuda HDD █


█ Monitor: 21.5" 1080p 60Hz █ PSU: 700w █ Case: Fractal Define R4 █       ...LTT Dark Theme master race.


Project MiniConsole


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Posted

The only way your mom can lose 300 pounds is in a custody battle. 

 

 

 

Yep, just dissed two people at once. Get on my level.

"Say it, do it, preach it, shout it, but never, absolutely never, believe your own bullshit"   


Credited with the whole female avatar trend


Your thoughts here http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/67178-your-top-three/

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The only way your mom can lose 300 pounds is in a custody battle. 

 

 

 

Yep, just dissed two people at once. Get on my level.

Holy shit. Mind=Blown

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OP is a masochist...

<p>Eryi's Action Rule#2 - "Dont jump on the green mushroom"

Ministry of StopIt!

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You’re about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican

You bowl like your momma. Unless of course she bowls well, in which case you bowl nothing like her.

You are a fart factory, slug-slimed sack of rat guts in cat vomit. A cheesy scab picked pimple squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side.

I think… no, I am positive… that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. In the short time we’ve been together, you have demonstrated every loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you’re morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You’re not even interesting enough to make me sick.

Copernicus just called: You’re not the center of the universe.

________________________________

Just keep it relatively clean, no reason for getting warnings....

Lol that's from a vid on YT called,"Top 100 movie insults".

Codename: N1GHTRAV3N [BOTW 19 July'13]

Codename: Scarlet SkyTerror

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