Experiences with non-techies

[BOT Edward]

Friend of mine asked me if I could install a new GPU on his laptop. We're not friends now.

Not knowing about MXM... GG non-techie

[awsomecp173 (Senpai)]

At school, I was talking to my nerdy friend about quantum computing. Suddenly he said, 

 

"Does JW Computers (computer store in Australia) sell quantum computers. Does BenQ make quantum computers? How much do they cost?"

 

I was like

[TheMechEngineer]

At school, I was talking to my nerdy friend about quantum computing. Suddenly he said, 

 

"Does JW Computers (computer store in Australia) sell quantum computers. Does BenQ make quantum computers? How much do they cost?"

 

I was like

 

Yeah they probably don't sell quantum computers yet, but you can buy quantum batteries at most stores now:

 

[burnttoastnice]

You could have asked. It's always best to assume the person on 'the other end' is a complete moron when giving any form of tech help/support.

The 'net is full of the story/joke where there is no power in the building yet the person still wonders why their computer is not working.

This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words

Went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared'

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I

type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where

The power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

Plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that

there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just

one? '

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into

the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean

way over?'

Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's

because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark?'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not?'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

LOL that's absolutely hilarous

[XxTechdude37xX]

LMAO! that is awesome. never seen that before. I gotta send that to a couple ppl.

make sure they don't actually download it though its some serious Trojans.

[BlazingGunnerFTW]

I have this friend, which I of course like to rag on him. for you know, being a console peasant. Anyways, So he claims that if you don't game on a console, your not a real gamer. WOW. 

 

So I  told this factually incorrect person that he is a console peasant, and thats what Ive been calling this kid since the 1st day of school.

 

And then he points out of nowhere, that consoles are PC  and I should go f*ck myself, which is console peasant speak for "I want to become part of the PC masterrace, but I am to much of a console peasant to explicitly admit it. 

 

When gym started, I got picked on by a group of apple fanboys, which they said that they were deeply offended by saying apple sucks ass, and now they will convince me that I'm wrong. 

 

I had to scare them with FoxxConn and I am sorry people, but thats the only way I could get them off my ass. Anyways, then I see douchebags on the bleachers with the whole beats accessory around neck shit, and I WAS CALLED A MAJOR DOUCHE because I am wearing Over-Ear headphones they dont have the B's (quoted) (Superlux HD612 EVO's) BTW, (they are awesome at they're price bracket). THANKS APPLE AND BEATS FOR MAKING A LEGACY OF BEING A DOUCHE BY WEARING OVER EAR HEADPHONES THAT ARE NOT BEATS.

 

Then I got almost got in big trouble when I use Opera, so they want you to use chrome in the Class "all things google", which is based on chromium so up yours class, do reasearch. And last year, I got in trouble for defending Wikipedia, which there was a class where you have to detect legit websites and not legit websites, which is really just a 6 week period on bashing on wikipedia, which is an actual source, and also, They feed you false information on .orgs are goverment controlled and such. 

 

In my other class, I again got in trouble for using Opera Chromium, Because they are using drive a shit ton, so instead of typing in drive.google.com, you have to set to default on google chrome (WHY, IDK), then they make you go to google.com, and you have the "9 little squares". Which is completely unnecessary. And I get called an idiot, but I never ever use google drive EVER, so there you go.

 

This is my chunk of the week. If you want more school non techie stories, I got more. Just ask. 

[BOT Edward]

I have this friend, which I of course like to rag on him. for you know, being a console peasant. Anyways, So he claims that if you don't game on a console, your not a real gamer. WOW. 

 

So I  told this factually incorrect person that he is a console peasant, and thats what Ive been calling this kid since the 1st day of school.

 

And then he points out of nowhere, that consoles are PC  and I should go f*ck myself, which is console peasant speak for "I want to become part of the PC masterrace, but I am to much of a console peasant to explicitly admit it. 

 

When gym started, I got picked on by a group of apple fanboys, which they said that they were deeply offended by saying apple sucks ass, and now they will convince me that I'm wrong. 

 

I had to scare them with FoxxConn and I am sorry people, but thats the only way I could get them off my ass. Anyways, then I see douchebags on the bleachers with the whole beats accessory around neck shit, and I WAS CALLED A MAJOR DOUCHE because I am wearing Over-Ear headphones they dont have the B's (quoted) (Superlux HD612 EVO's) BTW, (they are awesome at they're price bracket). THANKS APPLE AND BEATS FOR MAKING A LEGACY OF BEING A DOUCHE BY WEARING OVER EAR HEADPHONES THAT ARE NOT BEATS.

 

Then I got almost got in big trouble when I use Opera, so they want you to use chrome in the Class "all things google", which is based on chromium so up yours class, do reasearch. And last year, I got in trouble for defending Wikipedia, which there was a class where you have to detect legit websites and not legit websites, which is really just a 6 week period on bashing on wikipedia, which is an actual source, and also, They feed you false information on .orgs are goverment controlled and such. 

 

In my other class, I again got in trouble for using Opera Chromium, Because they are using drive a shit ton, so instead of typing in drive.google.com, you have to set to default on google chrome (WHY, IDK), then they make you go to google.com, and you have the "9 little squares". Which is completely unnecessary. And I get called an idiot, but I never ever use google drive EVER, so there you go.

 

This is my chunk of the week. If you want more school non techie stories, I got more. Just ask. 

Your non techie stories are more so you claiming your preferences are better.

No wonder they called you a douche

[DimasRMDO]

I had a conversation with a friend (old friend).

"Dim, which one is the most secured? Windows, OS X or Linux?"

"None if you do sh*t to it."
"F*ck I'm f*cked, DAMNIT! Need to delete bunch of STUFF!"

 

I was like...

[roastduck]

I have this friend, which I of course like to rag on him. for you know, being a console peasant. Anyways, So he claims that if you don't game on a console, your not a real gamer. WOW. 

 

So I  told this factually incorrect person that he is a console peasant, and thats what Ive been calling this kid since the 1st day of school.

Spoiler alert: giving people shit for personal preferences makes you a douchebag

 

When gym started, I got picked on by a group of apple fanboys, which they said that they were deeply offended by saying apple sucks ass,

because Apple doesn't

 

I WAS CALLED A MAJOR DOUCHE because I am wearing Over-Ear headphones

I think that might just be because you act like a douche (basing that judgement off things you've said in this post)

 

And I get called an idiot, but I never ever use google drive EVER, so there you go.

Why not? Drive is actually pretty good. While some aspects of Google Drive are less powerful than, say, Microsoft Office, if you're in a position to NEED that extra funtionality, you're probably in a setting where you're using more powerful software, anyway

 

This is my chunk of the week. If you want more school non techie stories, I got more. Just ask.

please no

[Boink]

This year, my school is rolling out chromebooks to all the freshmen. To be fair, it is rather impressive that they managed to get everything set up for them in just 6 months. However, this is undermined by how terribly they did so. Every time the lid is closed the chromebook resets to its previous state, making the freshmen unable to even save bookmarks. Top that with the lack of reasonable instructions on how to run them and you have 200 confused freshmen who can't even use half of ChromeOS's already limited functions with only one person doing tech support.

I mean, come on. It's ChromeOS! How can anybody do anything malicious with it?

[NerdNinja]

I mean, come on. It's ChromeOS! How can anybody do anything malicious with it?

 

Hehhehehehhehehehehehehhehehehehhehe

 

 

I've done some fun things with Crome OS

 

[Boink]

Hehhehehehhehehehehehehhehehehehhehe

 

 

I've done some fun things with Crome OS

 

 

Okay, you can do SOME stuff, but not much compared to Windows or Linux. Considering they allow people to bring their own device the point they're making is moot.

Also It kind of pisses me off when they say that the freshmen should treat these like their own devices (and they will be come senior year) but then lock them down so they can't make it their own.

[roastduck]

Okay, you can do SOME stuff, but not much compared to Windows or Linux. Considering they allow people to bring their own device the point they're making is moot.

Also It kind of pisses me off when they say that the freshmen should treat these like their own devices (and they will be come senior year) but then lock them down so they can't make it their own.

are the security measures a client-side thing or a network thing?

[RedOwen1177]

I had a conversation with a friend (old friend).

"Dim, which one is the most secured? Windows, OS X or Linux?"

"None if you do sh*t to it."

"F*ck I'm f*cked, DAMNIT! Need to delete bunch of STUFF!"

 

I was like...

snip.tar.gz

I feel him a bit.

[TopWargamer]

This is relevant to this thread to an extent. 

 

My friend and I went to the MetroPCS store, because I wanted to ask one of the employees if I could use their data only plans on a smartphone. The employee acted very sassy towards me, so that definitely didn't help her complete ignorance. This is how the conversation went.

 

Me: I know MetroPCS has data only plans that are supposed to be used in a tablet, but am I able to use a data only plan on a smartphone?

Employee: We don't have data only plans. We have talk, text, and data plans though. Not data only plans.

Me: Okay, I saw it on the MetroPCS website though...

Employee: We don't have data only plans. 

(At this point she was looking at me like I was crazy or something.)

 

After we left, my friend said that he was laughing while we were in there (he was in the back while I talked to the employee). I asked why. He said because the data only plans were plastered on the walls.

Lastly, here are those data only plans that I'm talking about, just so I can show you all that I'm not going crazy: https://www.metropcs.com/tablet-plans.html

 

Like, freaking come on MetroPCS employee. How do you mess up that badly? How were you even hired in the first place?

[Venomz1337]

Earlier today at work,

Lady rings up that her setup isn't working. She says someone messed around with it and has broken it.

Walked over there and asked her, did you turn the laptop on?

"Yes"

*presses on*

 

much wow?

[TwisTed_PoLo]

Me: what os are you running 

Friend: microsoft office 

Me *face palm* thats not an os 

Friend: yes it is I can install it on 5 different computers 

Me: *continue to face palm*

:lol:

[NerdNinja]

are the security measures a client-side thing or a network thing?

 

In my school it's a mix of both. The restrictions to settings and user are client side. I was able to remove these via powerwashing but my school admins have since removed the keyboard shortcut disallowing future attempts. However mine and other's who powerwashed before this still have free reign over their chromebooks settings.

[BlazingGunnerFTW]

Your non techie stories are more so you claiming your preferences are better.

No wonder they called you a douche

 Think what you want. But meh. At least I am not the one thats bragging about my headphones to everyone that doesnt have them. And you know damn well why they are bad, so I just tried the whole post shorter, and not turning into a rant. God. Nobody ever gives me a break.

[Fgtfv567]

Okay, you can do SOME stuff, but not much compared to Windows or Linux. Considering they allow people to bring their own device the point they're making is moot.

Also It kind of pisses me off when they say that the freshmen should treat these like their own devices (and they will be come senior year) but then lock them down so they can't make it their own.

Actually you can install Linux on a chromebook.... Lots of stuff to do there

http://lifehacker.com/how-to-install-linux-on-a-chromebook-and-unlock-its-ful-509039343

[Norseman4]

First off, second post. Now then, on to the topic at hand:

 

On my first duty location in the Army I accidentally made it known that I like this computer stuff. The 80186 TACCS (Tactical Army Combat Computer System) was fairly new at the time, in fact it had only been in my detachment location for about 8 months prior to my being stationed there.

 

A couple weeks in somebody from the NEXT OFFICE DOWN gave me a call saying that he was having a problem with the printer, in that it wouldn’t print the reports that he had specified. This was a bit strange to me since these things were bulletproof … ok not actually since the huge cases were made from aluminum. (Screw you, you aluminium types, I’m American!)

 

So I ran through the gamut:
Power cable plugged in? Yes
Power indicator light? Yes
Cable connected from the computer to the printer? Yes
It's that big cable that clips in to the back of both the TACCS and the printer. (He got a bit huffy at that)

Hmm. “Hold on a sec. I’ll be right over.”

 

The huge honking Centronics 36 conductor printer cable was not plugged in to the printer!

 

That soldier had other lapses of cognitive logic later on in my 2 years there. (Great guy, but a box of rocks could give better technical, and mechanical, information)

[BOT Edward]

 Think what you want. But meh. At least I am not the one thats bragging about my headphones to everyone that doesnt have them. And you know damn well why they are bad, so I just tried the whole post shorter, and not turning into a rant. God. Nobody ever gives me a break.

 

Let them brag, they aren't "bad" at all actually... overpriced? sure but they are actually quite good headphones (just not for the price).

You are trying to shove your preferences down peoples throat and claiming them as facts.

This is why people will not like you and why they will call you names.

[NeatSquidYT]

Let them brag, they aren't "bad" at all actually... overpriced? sure but they are actually quite good headphones (just not for the price).

You are trying to shove your preferences down peoples throat and claiming them as facts.

This is why people will not like you and why they will call you names.

You talking about Beats? If so:

 

[Finn the Potato]

Confusing the people in tech stores, by listing out all the parts really quickly so they forget what I say when they search it on the computer.

[ThinkWithPortals]

Not strictly an experience, but I just found this article that keeps referring to onboard storage as "memory"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/advice/10064870/How-much-tablet-memory-is-enough.html