LGBT community

[handymanshandle]

3 hours ago, PlayStation 2 said:

Day 1's been alright. Took things rather slow, but dinner was pretty good lmao.

Yes :^>

[Kawaii Koneko]

Hehe. Met that girl yesterday evening. Definitely worth the 12 1/2 hour drive.

 

We really clicked. Like really clicked. It's one thing being able to keep a conversation going on the phone but in person is totally different thing but no problem here. We just talked and talked for hours. About all kinds of things. We totally geeked out over our various shared interests. We talked a lot about cars which we seem to talk about every time (I seriously could just listen to her go on and on about them. She is so knowledgeable and I find it incredibly cute when she gets excited and rambles on about them lol). She showed me her video game and anime collection and we probably talked anime for a good hour. We have very similar tastes in anime and seem to have similar tastes in humor and the characters we like. And hey, she is a huge Hyperdimension Neptunia fan, not really the anime but the video games. She thinks the fan service is hilarious haha. She has even played a couple of the Danganronpa games which I'm quite a fan of.

 

We also talked quite a bit about trans related things. I'm glad I didn't bring it up or anything early on but as we get to know each other I realize it is definitely something she is passionate about. Like she actually seems to really enjoy talking about it which I actually find to be nice because it's a good opportunity for me to learn more from an actual trans person, not just online articles or Reddit users. She seemed to really like hearing my perspective as someone who isn't trans but attracted to a trans person and it seems we actually share a lot of the same opinions. 

 

One thing that really bothered me though is when she told me that despite starting her transition eight years ago now, her parents still refuse to call her she/her or use her chosen name. They literally will refer to her as he right in front of her and address her by her birth name. It actually made me sad inside when she told me that. She said despite living in a small town, everyone has been very accepting and she hasn't had to deal with any kind of transphobia or bigotry but yet her parents still can't accept she is a girl. 

 

I can tell she loves her parents very much and just puts up with this and after all these years has shown an extreme and very impressive amount of patience with them on the subject. It's her call but I think she is being a bit too nice about it but I do find it reflects on her inner strength that she can put up with this.

 

When she told me all this, I just wanted to give her a huge hug but well, it was the first day we met so it probably wouldn't have been the best move lol. But bringing her a bouquet of flowers was definitely a good one. I was nervous the whole trip about giving them to her but she really liked them and it made me really happy inside when I saw how much she appreciated it.

 

We are going to hang out again a little later and I'm pumped again. Sounds like we are going to go for a drive in her new A35 AMG. I can tell she is excited to show me the performance and I'm super excited to go for a ride. Not sure if she is going to let me drive it but she did say she will let me drive her Skyline when it comes out of storage, I didn't even ask, she just said I could, hehe. Man, her car nerd side is so attractive. When I opened the door to my Lexus LS430, she noticed right away the wood was real. Idk. I just thought that was cool lol.

 

And wow. We talked politics quite a bit too. She definitely is political and actually pays attention to what is going on. We are incredibly like minded and I find it interesting to talk to someone personally who is part of the LGBT community and a huge Trump supporter. I knew they were out there but fact I managed to luck out and meet someone IRL who I can relate to politically seems like a real blessing. 

 

21 hours ago, Quackers101 said:

I think some communities got a different message, from different parts of the trans community. (also depends on the country and area's view on the topic)

Some parts of the trans community is not as clear as the rest, where you don't even know if they are a women or not and is trying to play a game.

While others is more clear about this is me going to "change my idenitity to who I want to be" even if there is issues around it, since tech is not as good to make a full change that some might want and the isssues around transitioning? But if getting the support and both can deal with things together in a way to move for a brighter future together? That sounds pretty fantastic?

 

Also if you are in an area with similar thoughts as back then, then I guess it means there might be times you have to push back, around the trans topic?

To religious or others that may target LGBT, for example at night etc, I guess it really depends on the area and a lot more factors.

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Speaking of which, we actually had a pretty awesome and deep conversation tonight. We both opened up about a lot of things. We are meeting in person tomorrow and I think we both felt a little uneasy that we hadn't talked about some more personal issues that neither of us wanted to directly ask because we were nervous about treading into sensitive territory. It's funny because she admitted how nervous she is about tomorrow and I admitted my nervousness and from there, personal conversation just took off.

Sounds good! Hope you guys are able to get along, still more bonding time needed and not rushing things?

Good if you guys are able to move on, and carry that friendship and relationship.

Yeah, fortunately, like I said, the locals seem to be pretty accepting of her. It's just her family. And it's going to be mine too if we stat dating. Although, as bad as I thought my parents are on the subject, I know they would never call her a he, not even in private to me so I guess that's something. 

 

And yeah, we aren't rushing. I mean, I'm in a hotel right now, didn't even stay at her place. I can tell, she is a smart girl. Despite how well we are connecting, she isn't the type of girl that would be comfortable with letting a guy she was meeting for the first time stay at her place which is why when I said I wanted to come down, I told her I would get a hotel. Honestly, she was so nervous about meeting, I don't think she would have said yes if I hadn't had offered. It kind of reassured her I wasn't just trying to get some action. 

[PlayStation 2]

@Kawaii KonekoA35 AMG, huh? She's got a dope ride!

Although, unless she's in Canada, sucks that it's not the hatchback. I'd rather get a GLA AMG just on that alone...

Not fronting, because those A35s aren't cheap, but yeah lol.

[Kawaii Koneko]

5 minutes ago, PlayStation 2 said:

@Kawaii KonekoA35 AMG, huh? She's got a dope ride!

Although, unless she's in Canada, sucks that it's not the hatchback. I'd rather get a GLA AMG just on that alone...

Not fronting, because those A35s aren't cheap, but yeah lol.

Yeah, US. It's the sedan. I believe she said it was GLA AMG she originally wanted but the dealer didn't have any in stock. She wasn't even really interested in the A35 but they had one on the lot and she figured she might as well test drive it since she was already there and it is a three hour drive to the Mercedes dealer form where she lives. I guess by the time she got back to the dealer she had already changed her mind that she wanted the A35, she liked it that much lol.

[Kawaii Koneko]

8 minutes ago, Benji said:

YAS, queen! I definitely like the actual AMG cars, but I also prefer the hatchback. Seeing the sedan in Germany is rare, even though the A class does exist as a sedan, but only as A35 and not as the A45 as well. She definitely has good taste in cars. Skyline, A35 AMG...

I'm glad to hear that your first meeting went great

How long will you be staying there after the obscenely long drive?

Thank you!

 

And yeah, she has great taste in cars. She loves JDM, especially older Nissans and is pretty into Euro cars. Actually, most of the cars we talk about are German and Japanese, very few domestic (US) cars come into the discussion so we have extremely similar taste. She keeps encouraging me to get my Peugeot 405 Mi16 on the road again. She didn't really know much about it until I told her about mine and now she seems to have taken a real liking to it so that's cool.

 

And yeah, just in case you are curious, her Skyline is actually an R30 sedan and she is currently restoring a '72 240z all original, although she does plan to do some light bolt-ons that can be easily removed. Right now it is all stripped down and in primer. She also has a little kei truck that she bought because she thought it was cool lol. 

 

I'm staying at least another night. We are hanging out when she gets back from her appointments in a couple hours and I think we'll probably hang out a portion of the day on Friday before I head back. I might stay a third night but we will see how things go. I took Saturday off from work but I go back Sunday. I have a 12 1/2 hour drive and then I work an 11 hour shift so I'd like to have a little time when I get home to chill but if things keep going this well, I'm willing to be a bit fried at work, haha.

[Nowak]

I just want to see my boyfriend again, but alas. I'm immunocompromised and there's that pandemic the feds fucked up (and are still fucking up) the handling of, and I'm partial to not staying in the hospital overnight again. And living.

[watacukrowa]

im pansexual and gender non conforming cause dysphoria sucks <333

i tried coming out as nonbinary to my mom around august of 2020 and she told me invalid it was because shes never felt that way to heard of it and then asked me if i had any parts she wasnt aware of but yeah it sucks and im gonna get out of here as soon as i can. im comfortable with they/them pronouns for now but yeah i am anything but female:)

[Flannelist]

1 hour ago, watacukrowa said:

im pansexual and gender non conforming cause dysphoria sucks <333

i tried coming out as nonbinary to my mom around august of 2020 and she told me invalid it was because shes never felt that way to heard of it and then asked me if i had any parts she wasnt aware of but yeah it sucks and im gonna get out of here as soon as i can. im comfortable with they/them pronouns for now but yeah i am anything but female:)

That's pretty garbage. Just because she's never felt something, or heard of something doesn't make it any less of a reality. Us gender non-conformists are out here just trying to live life. Why people always gotta say it's not real? 

[Nowak]

1 minute ago, Flannelist said:

That's pretty garbage. Just because she's never felt something, or heard of something doesn't make it any less of a reality. Us gender non-conformists are out here just trying to live life. Why people always gotta say it's not real? 

Probably because they want to cling onto scientific models that are over 20 years out of date because they don't want to admit they're wrong about something. It's pretty common.

 

Remember that a lot of non-white cultures like native Americans and Indians already recognized that gender isn't a binary thing but instead a spectrum. Germany was also pretty great for LGBTQ+ and NGC people before Zentrum gave the Nazis power, but that's a bit outta the scope of this thread and forum.

[Energycore]

2 minutes ago, Nowak said:

Remember that a lot of non-white cultures like native Americans and Indians already recognized that gender isn't a binary thing but instead a spectrum.

This so much!

 

In many indigenous Mexican cultures, trans people are given a status of high ritual importance, and they're treated like their own kind of priest. It's mostly men that do it in these cultures but women are not unheard of.

 

They're called "Muxes" and there's a lot of really cool interviews of them (with EN subtitles) on YouTube.

 

9 minutes ago, Flannelist said:

Why people always gotta say it's not real? 

We're all very real

[Flannelist]

5 minutes ago, Nowak said:

Probably because they want to cling onto scientific models that are over 20 years out of date because they don't want to admit they're wrong about something. It's pretty common.

 

Remember that a lot of non-white cultures like native Americans and Indians already recognized that gender isn't a binary thing but instead a spectrum. Germany was also pretty great for LGBTQ+ and NGC people before Zentrum gave the Nazis power, but that's a bit outta the scope of this thread and forum.

Oh absolutely. My question was rhetorical. My whole theory has always been that gender/ gender norms are total bull. It's a social standard that's taught by a culture. it's just easier to shove people in categories with neat definitions. Gender expectations don't even match for the same "gender" but different race.

[Nowak]

While we're on the subject, I've had the Gender Thoughts before. I'm not sure if I'm a guy or masc-presenting non-binary, or maybe just 56k dial-up noises.

 

Haha, gender is a fuck.

[Flannelist]

56k dial-up noises might be my new fave gender. That's basically how I feel. I used to just say I was gender-weird, or gender-something before I had words. I suppose Genderqueer isn't too far off from that.

 

My human sexuality professor in college had us all write a paper on our gender. Was supposed to be 3-5 pages. Mine was 8. Edited down from 12. That was 11 years ago now. I'm not sure I could limit myself to even 8 anymore.

[Energycore]

34 minutes ago, Nowak said:

56k dial-up noises.

I need this to be an option in the gender field of any government form.

[PlayStation 2]

I dunno if it's good or bad if I could write about why I'm male (and identify as such even in that case) in less than a page.

[Energycore]

1 minute ago, PlayStation 2 said:

I dunno if it's good or bad if I could write about why I'm male (and identify as such even in that case) in less than a page.

I think it's fine.

 

I self identify as male because I feel comfortable like this. If you don't, you can look for what does make you feel comfortable.

[Quackers101]

1 hour ago, Flannelist said:

That's pretty garbage. Just because she's never felt something, or heard of something doesn't make it any less of a reality. Us gender non-conformists are out here just trying to live life. Why people always gotta say it's not real? 

Just find the whole "gender non-conformists" and how it sounds to be a mess. Like how is some of it any different from other people?

And more so when that can be mixed with trans? As it sometimes happen in the US and UK. Not caring what you do, but the topic around some of it, just to me, seems like a mess.

59 minutes ago, Nowak said:

Probably because they want to cling onto scientific models that are over 20 years out of date because they don't want to admit they're wrong about something. It's pretty common.

 

Remember that a lot of non-white cultures like native Americans and Indians already recognized that gender isn't a binary thing but instead a spectrum. Germany was also pretty great for LGBTQ+ and NGC people before Zentrum gave the Nazis power, but that's a bit outta the scope of this thread and forum.

*that is some groups version of gender*

Some wants to mix the gender system with an identity system, which often bodes unwell, since people like simplicity and some of the areas that is being talked about identity is going to cause problems when people are going to see by their gender than 100s of identities you might have, unless it's very well shown. Like how is some any different from punk and goths, furries and so on? And some would state that gender is both binary and at a spectrum like identity, and a reason as to why you have some that transition from one to another.

[PlayStation 2]

3 minutes ago, Energycore said:

I think it's fine.

 

I self identify as male because I feel comfortable like this. If you don't, you can look for what does make you feel comfortable.

Yeah, I guess ultimately I've never had a reason to question if I felt that I wasn't male - even if I like crossdressing.

[Nowak]

16 minutes ago, Flannelist said:

56k dial-up noises might be my new fave gender. That's basically how I feel. I used to just say I was gender-weird, or gender-something before I had words. I suppose Genderqueer isn't too far off from that.

 

My human sexuality professor in college had us all write a paper on our gender. Was supposed to be 3-5 pages. Mine was 8. Edited down from 12. That was 11 years ago now. I'm not sure I could limit myself to even 8 anymore.

 

11 minutes ago, Energycore said:

I need this to be an option in the gender field of any government form.

I've had someone tell me their gender is best described by this video.

 

I feel them.

[Energycore]

5 minutes ago, PlayStation 2 said:

Yeah, I guess ultimately I've never had a reason to question if I felt that I wasn't male - even if I like crossdressing.

YOOOOO YOU CROSSDRESS

 

Yeah. Super fun. Can recommend.

 

Never at any point did I feel less male even when a friend couldn't recognize me in the pictures xD

[Flannelist]

8 minutes ago, PlayStation 2 said:

I dunno if it's good or bad if I could write about why I'm male (and identify as such even in that case) in less than a page.

I think that's perfectly fine. It's about how you feel and being comfortable in that. My gender is just a complicated knot of things.

[Nowak]

13 minutes ago, PlayStation 2 said:

Yeah, I guess ultimately I've never had a reason to question if I felt that I wasn't male - even if I like crossdressing.

And that's fine. As others have said, gender is what makes you feel most comfortable. It's complicated, but figuring yourself out is... liberating? From what I've heard from friends of mine who came out as non-binary or trans over the past couple years.

[Quackers101]

1 minute ago, Nowak said:

And that's fine. As others have said, gender is what makes you feel most comfortable. It's complicated, but figuring yourself out is... liberating? From what I've heard from friends of mine who came out as non-binary or trans over the past couple years.

I would say gender idenitity can be very complicated and changing with a person, however gender being different.

[Flannelist]

5 minutes ago, Nowak said:

And that's fine. As others have said, gender is what makes you feel most comfortable. It's complicated, but figuring yourself out is... liberating? From what I've heard from friends of mine who came out as non-binary or trans over the past couple years.

Extremely. I have sort of lived in non labelled gender grey space for a long time. I came out properly this last year to the more general public and started using they/them and it has totally changed the feelings I have had about myself. Even people I know who have experimented in more controlled spaces with just a few close friends have said it has been freeing in ways they didn't realize.

 

[captain_to_fire]

Not even a Covid-19 outbreak can stop me from going on a date next week.