Too good to be true?

[xARACHN1D]

So I now have a significant other. She legit seems WAYYYYY to good to be true. Like, she is legit everything I like about a girl. She is so perfect. Like has no flaws kind of person. Do you guys think its too good to be true?

[Skipple]

You will get to know her more, and there will be quirks you aren't a massive fan of. But hey, that's part of the experience and why you fall in love with someone. 

 

No, she isn't perfect. You just have rose colored glasses on right now and that's a great thing.

[xARACHN1D]

6 minutes ago, Skipple said:

You will get to know her more, and there will be quirks you aren't a massive fan of. But hey, that's part of the experience and why you fall in love with someone. 

 

No, she isn't perfect. You just have rose colored glasses on right now and that's a great thing.

Please explain rose colored glasses. I do not know of this term. But thank you for the insight.

[dizmo]

I think the problem is you're putting her on a pedestal, and that's never a healthy thing to do.

[Deli]

It's a trap. You're setting the expectation too unrealistic.

[xARACHN1D]

Just now, Deli said:

It's a trap.

This better have been a star wars reference. Oh shoot. I need to ask her if she likes star wars.

2 minutes ago, dizmo said:

I think the problem is you're putting her on a pedestal, and that's never a healthy thing to do.

You might be right. I will try to adopt a more healthy view.

[dalekphalm]

17 minutes ago, xARACHN1D said:

Please explain rose colored glasses. I do not know of this term. But thank you for the insight.

Rose coloured glasses (more commonly said “rose tinted glasses”) means that you’re looking at something without objectivity and are ignoring or overlooking flaws. 
 

Nobody is perfect. Period. She might be the perfect fit for you personally, but she’s not perfect. 
 

Everyone has flaws. It’s also very unhealthy to view her as “literally perfect” because you start to see her as a “thing” you’ve won, instead of a human being with flaws and feelings and likes and dislike, etc. 
 

Get to know her more. Find out what she likes, what she dislikes, what she’s like to be around when she’s mad or angry or sad or excited. 
 

Good luck though!

[xARACHN1D]

2 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Rose coloured glasses (more commonly said “rose tinted glasses”) means that you’re looking at something without objectivity and are ignoring or overlooking flaws. 
 

Nobody is perfect. Period. She might be the perfect fit for you personally, but she’s not perfect. 
 

Everyone has flaws. It’s also very unhealthy to view her as “literally perfect” because you start to see her as a “thing” you’ve won, instead of a human being with flaws and feelings and likes and dislike, etc. 
 

Get to know her more. Find out what she likes, what she dislikes, what she’s like to be around when she’s mad or angry or sad or excited. 
 

Good luck though!

I have figured out most of those things already. She expresses a lot to me. Etc. Dislikes, emotions, feelings. Stuff like that, I just don't see any flaws in her for me at least.

[Clarkius]

It really does sound like you're looking at the relationship through rose tinted glasses. Honestly it may be a good idea to take a step back a bit and think everything over a bit more. It's good to keep in mind that things that you don't consider flaws now could be considered as such at a later time (Small things the person does that over time begin to annoy you, etc). It's best to come to terms with that now so you can accept those flaws if you really do like this person. If not then it is what it is tbh. 

[xARACHN1D]

Just now, Clarkius said:

It really does sound like you're looking at the relationship through rose tinted glasses. Honestly it may be a good idea to take a step back a bit and think everything over a bit more. It's good to keep in mind that things that you don't consider flaws now could be considered as such at a later time (Small things the person does that over time begin to annoy you, etc). It's best to come to terms with that now so you can accept those flaws if you really do like this person. If not then it is what it is tbh. 

Thanks for the tip clarkius, you might be right.

[xARACHN1D]

Oh, I should also mention, she lives a city away and our relationship is online.

[Clarkius]

3 minutes ago, xARACHN1D said:

Oh, I should also mention, she lives a city away and our relationship is online.

Yeah that's another thing that could cause problems down the line.

 

Do a couple facetime chats or something then meet in person, if your interaction that way goes smooth then things could be promising. But it's hard to judge compatibility when you aren't able to spend much time in person, online vs physical interactions are very very different. 

[Teddy07]

1 hour ago, xARACHN1D said:

So I now have a significant other. She legit seems WAYYYYY to good to be true. Like, she is legit everything I like about a girl. She is so perfect. Like has no flaws kind of person. Do you guys think its too good to be true?

Remember: it is never your women, it is just your turn

 

15 minutes ago, xARACHN1D said:

Oh, I should also mention, she lives a city away and our relationship is online.

WOW, just wow!

[xARACHN1D]

16 minutes ago, Clarkius said:

Yeah that's another thing that could cause problems down the line.

 

Do a couple facetime chats or something then meet in person, if your interaction that way goes smooth then things could be promising. But it's hard to judge compatibility when you aren't able to spend much time in person, online vs physical interactions are very very different. 

Yea I know that. I am being careful however

 

7 minutes ago, Teddy07 said:

Remember: it is never your women, it is just your turn

 

WOW, just wow!

Also, That had to be the most retarded thing I have ever heard.

[Bacon soup]

1 hour ago, Deli said:

It's a trap

I think we found her flaw. You need to ask her if she has a penis. You need to do this right now without delay!

[Bacon soup]

I think you need to learn to meditate. Sam Harris does a good job of explaining this to athiests. If you are in a religion then you know what to do.

[Teddy07]

14 minutes ago, xARACHN1D said:

Also, That had to be the most retarded thing I have ever heard.

I don‘t blame you for this reaction because society teaches you to think this way. You seem to be young and inexperienced so give it a couple of years and you might begin to understand. Good luck!

[Praesi]

Everyone has flaws.

If you treat her like a Goddess, i can asure you, she will lose interesst at some point. Women are strange Creatures. Logic doesnt apply.

[spartaman64]

14 minutes ago, Teddy07 said:

I don‘t blame you for this reaction because society teaches you to think this way. You seem to be young and inexperienced so give it a couple of years and you might begin to understand. Good luck!

 

40 minutes ago, Teddy07 said:

Remember: it is never your women, it is just your turn

 

WOW, just wow!

just because you had a bad experience doesnt mean its that way for everyone. 

 

but OP shouldn't expect her to be perfect and doing so might harm the relationship and could put too much pressure on her. there are going to be things that you dont like about the person and you two are probably going to argue occasionally. imo love isnt about finding the person that is perfect for you and that you have no problems with but rather love is believing that the other person is worth it to work through those problems with

[wasab]

Does she worship you?

Or perhaps you are worshipping her. 

[xARACHN1D]

12 hours ago, wasab said:

Does she worship you?

Or perhaps you are worshipping her. 

I feel like its mutual, But I could be wrong.

12 hours ago, Caroline said:

Not all of us are whores you know.

Thank you, I told him this earlier.

[Drak3]

17 hours ago, Bacon soup said:

I think we found her flaw. You need to ask her if she has a penis. You need to do this right now without delay!

Joke in ‘99, important distinction in ‘19.

14 hours ago, Caroline said:

Not all of us are whores you know.

Yeah, some of us can’t make any money!

 

 

/s

[dalekphalm]

18 hours ago, Teddy07 said:

I don‘t blame you for this reaction because society teaches you to think this way. You seem to be young and inexperienced so give it a couple of years and you might begin to understand. Good luck!

Yeah no. Most people don't have this weird, unhealthy, and cynical worldview of romantic relationships that you hold.

[Teddy07]

@xARACHN1D@spartaman64@Caroline@Tegos@dalekphalm

I really regret that I answered here and maybe upset some of you. I should haven known that my opinion is only shared by a very small percentage of people. I am honestly sorry. I try to remember it for the future

[spartaman64]

6 minutes ago, Teddy07 said:

@xARACHN1D@spartaman64@Caroline@Tegos@dalekphalm

I really regret that I answered here and maybe upset some of you. I should haven known that my opinion is only shared by a very small percentage of people. I am honestly sorry. I try to remember it for the future

Its ok I wasn't offended. In fact I'm sympathetic as probably you had some horrible experience that made you feel that way. I hope you do find someone you love and that loves you if that is the case.