Loosing Friends

[limegorilla]

Ahh teenage drama.

Fucking sick.

Put it simply, I am loosing friends. Lots of them - and I do not have a lot. People betray me. People lie to me. People just want to annoy me. I have always been a loner -  I lack the skill set I need to connect with people. I have no trust in anyone - not even myself. My only friends are the ones I have online.

I'm not really looking for help - through any help is welcome - just an outlet. I already do Gym, but I need more, If anyone has anything challenging but fun to learn, I would love to know.

TIA

[AlwaysFSX]

Yeah that about sums up almost every single person on the planet.

[cluelessgenius]

dude drama is normal. fuck people. relationships dont really matter. you gonna meet a lot of people and then never see them again at some point. we are all alone. and eventually that doesnt matter either. do what you can to make yourself happy and hope for the best. 50-90 years will go by and then itll be someone elses problem. if you think of your impact on human history and then makinds impact on the history of the universe youll notice that it doesnt fucking matter. do whatever makes you happy with whoever makes you happy.

similar to you i have no point to make and just wanted to vent.

[Eduard the weeb]

Yeah I am currently trying to be friends with a kid named Luke I meet him through my best friend chad but it kinda hard and I already don't have too many friends but honestly don't care much because I am introverted, but Not trying to sound like a asshole but maybe you seem inapproachable maybe if you have a job with other people try being more friendly or offer to get lunch, if your in school join a few clubs, if you are outta school and don't have a job get one. maybe learn a few jokes and just throw yourself into conversation without seeming like a asshole.

[captain_to_fire]

Always remember that friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake. 

[cluelessgenius]

6 minutes ago, hey_yo_ said:

Always remember that friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake. 

and you can only find out which they are by touching them inappropriatly 

[captain_to_fire]

2 minutes ago, cluelessgenius said:

and you can only find out which they are by touching them inappropriatly 

Sometimes just by looking and listening to a friend you'll know which ones are real and fake, granted the person is a good judge of character. 

[dizmo]

1 hour ago, limegorilla said:

Ahh teenage drama.

Fucking sick.

Put it simply, I am loosing friends. Lots of them - and I do not have a lot. People betray me. People lie to me. People just want to annoy me. I have always been a loner -  I lack the skill set I need to connect with people. I have no trust in anyone - not even myself. My only friends are the ones I have online.

I'm not really looking for help - through any help is welcome - just an outlet. I already do Gym, but I need more, If anyone has anything challenging but fun to learn, I would love to know.

TIA

As long as you don't think that it's  a skill set that you simply lack entirely, all is not lost. It's not something you have or don't have, it's a skill that you must build upon and hone like any other. 

 

It's often said that to love another you must first love yourself, and it's the same for trust. If you find that truly all of your friends are leaving you perhaps you have to take some time and reflect on yourself, as it might be something you're doing that's the problem. For example, you say most of your friends are online. 

 

Have you tried going to internet cafes that are gaming focused? There you could meet like minded people. Or take a class. Something to learn something new, self defense, etc. Not only can you potentially make friends, but you'll prove yourself. 

 

Also, it's losing. Loosing would be like you're unleashing them on something. I was hoping for an amusing story of rage.

50 minutes ago, cluelessgenius said:

dude drama is normal. fuck people. relationships dont really matter. you gonna meet a lot of people and then never see them again at some point. we are all alone. and eventually that doesnt matter either. do what you can to make yourself happy and hope for the best. 50-90 years will go by and then itll be someone elses problem. if you think of your impact on human history and then makinds impact on the history of the universe youll notice that it doesnt fucking matter. do whatever makes you happy with whoever makes you happy.

similar to you i have no point to make and just wanted to vent.

Or, as Orson Welles put so eloquently "We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for a moment that we're not alone." 

[Misanthrope]

If you're a loner when you establish a bond you tend to place too much strain on the importance of a friendship: most people "betray" one another constantly because it's simply not a big deal to them: by having a wider circle of friends and support they can just easily ignore or distance from one particular friend or social situation and engage with some other person or group while still maintaining casual contact because their social needs are not compressed into a single individual or very tiny group.

 

As a loner you need to understand that most people simply won't place the same value on friendship you do and that for them a very strong friendship bonds takes years upon years to build upon. I'm not saying you should expand your social circles but I do suggest that you reflect more about the value you are putting on a person that might just be a friend more casually.

[Chaos_Sorcerer]

7 hours ago, limegorilla said:

Ahh teenage drama.

Fucking sick.

Put it simply, I am loosing friends. Lots of them - and I do not have a lot. People betray me. People lie to me. People just want to annoy me. I have always been a loner -  I lack the skill set I need to connect with people. I have no trust in anyone - not even myself. My only friends are the ones I have online.

I'm not really looking for help - through any help is welcome - just an outlet. I already do Gym, but I need more, If anyone has anything challenging but fun to learn, I would love to know.

TIA

Teenager? In high school?

 

Join a club. Easiest way to make friends.

 

If that doesn't help, don't worry. By the time you're in your last year...pretty much everyone will be friends with you. (Or at least that's what one guy in the 12th grade told me last year). 

 

If not, you still have college.

[SansVarnic]

This may help...

 

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/friends-come-and-go-its-okay

Quote

People change; they grow up and they grow apart. Every friend you make teaches you something about others and about yourself. They were meant to show you what to look for in others, what you can and can't live with. They were put in your lives for the memories you've shared and the experiences you've braved together. The duration of your friendship doesn't define its worth and definitely doesn't put on an expiration date. Just because you grew up together and have been friends for eight years, doesn't mean they won't hurt you or that you have to stay friends. And subsequently, just because you've clicked with someone instantly and became friends in a few short months 100% does NOT mean they are any less of a friend or that they can't be your best friend just because you haven't known them for that long. It boils down to who you can feel your most comfortable with, who will be there for you when the going gets tough, and who won't be. They have their ups and downs, but the good should always outweigh the bad and if it doesn't it's OK to end the friendship; it isn't binding. 

[pinksnowmanshandle]

I've lost a lot of friends, honestly a lot of it was me that caused it. But most of the people I've associated with in the past I would keep them at distance and they would be more of an acquaintance than anything.

[KingKeith55]

It's worth it though to cut off some fake mfs. I've even cut off one of my long time best friends ever since I was really young, because he was always acting like a douche. I have no problem if he changes in the future and wants to lose his ego, and that's pretty much it with most people I cut off. Unless you do some real fucked up shit like steal from me (but then it's not me cutting them off that they have to worry about).

 

Especially in high school some friends and people in general tend to develop tough guy/cool guy egos, where they think they're the shit when they're not. I've had these people with huge "cool guy who think's he's the shit" ego literally stop associating with me because I was "more popular" than them -- which is funny because I'm not really popular.

 

Personally coming from a school downtown it was a really different environment than normal schools. There's only two groups: Antisocial people and Social people. The clubs on the other hand consist mostly of people who are very passionate about it, so unless you're one of those there's no point going to them. Not super passionate? Easy way to piss those people off. It actually confused the fuck out of me whenever friends from different schools would explain how clubs are apparently popular and that sports and all that had a school-wide following (there's still a good number of people who follow it, but not like I've seen at other schools).

[RyomaSJibenG]

Life goes on, just remember that

[Hiya!]

Just remember don't change so people will love you.

Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't change your bad attitude or personality.

If your friends leave you for no reason then let them be.

Just don't be a D in real life and be nice to people whether they will respect you back or not that doesn't matter.

If they respect you back then welcome them to your life if they didn't then screw them they are not worth the trouble and you don't have to do anything about it because you deserve better.

And stop chasing people to like or love you or just to maintain a relationship cause there's a time when you willing to do anything for them and knowing that they won't to the same in the end, It hurts.

But you are here, You are important and you deserve better.

Try to love yourself before loving someone else.

And stop chasing people and let them chase you for once.

 

 

Since you already go to the Gym why not learn how to box instead?

Its a nice diversion i think to help u focus more in life.

I always want to learn how to box to defend myself from you know urban violence

But my parents disagreed.

[IAR117]

Go places. Seriously, you'll meet people at parties or wherever and just try and regularly meet them. If all else fails, do what I do, just find a girl and play the game "avoid the friend zone and reach the end goal." Honestly tho, in school right now, most guys are just assholes and the girls in my school are actually nice to hang out with. I dunno your situation tho lol. Well, thought I'd tell you how I deal with the same issue you have. Oh yeah, and another idea, if it's not too much of an issue, move around. Join different communities at wherever you are, school, work etc. It'll be a good idea for making a fresh start. As for hobbies, I go to the Garage thread or just read up on cars and new audio stuff. Both of these have huge communities and loads of things to get into, you're bound to make friends in hobbies. If all else fails, well just remember, life's too short not to spend time with who you want to. Throw all issues of trust out of the window; believe me it's not worth living a life of hiding away form people because you don't truly know who they are; just try and live a happy life and speak to as many people as you can. I was once introverted and some would say I still am, but I get on with people around me and easily make friends

[PhantomDragon]

I've been in the same situation many times. I thought the drama would end after high school. Naive thought. It's much worse now, especially in the workplace. I used to be a major introvert, but I slowly left my room and have made many friends this year. Some come and go. 

[Princess Luna]

Remember less is more.

 

Better alone than in bad company?

 

For real though I don't see much the appeal of many friends, I have two thats it... one of them is my boyfriend actually, secret is not be picky and only give reciprocity to who gives it back, nothing more draining than meh friendships as you get older.

[WindirBear]

has friends but is a loner at the same time...

[BuckGup]

On 11/28/2017 at 8:51 AM, cluelessgenius said:

dude drama is normal. fuck people. relationships dont really matter. you gonna meet a lot of people and then never see them again at some point. we are all alone. and eventually that doesnt matter either. do what you can to make yourself happy and hope for the best. 50-90 years will go by and then itll be someone elses problem. if you think of your impact on human history and then makinds impact on the history of the universe youll notice that it doesnt fucking matter. do whatever makes you happy with whoever makes you happy.

similar to you i have no point to make and just wanted to vent.

Complete opposite IMO. Drama is a part of life you NEED to learn to deal with in a healthy way. Relationships not only make you happier but can lead to an overall better life. What you are saying sounds like someone with social problems which can easily be addressed.