What is Bad Parenting?

[Tmt97]

12 minutes ago, royalcrown said:

So you turned out to be an asshole then, what with the "No rules apply to me", Just asking  ? 

 

What would you do with your kid then, if you let them do whatever they want that's not good either.

Well I've been described as many things, "asshole" being one of them. Other names have been more more colorful and creative. It really depends on the rule wether or not I'll follow it. If its a reasonable and just rule like laws against theft and murder, then of course. But sure I stand up to authority when they are being dicks or are high on power. As far as "my own kid" I don't have one, nor do I ever intend to. If I did have a kid, I would for the most part let them do whatever they wanted as long as it wasn't hurting anyone else. I'd just help them to understand the consequences of what comes from whatever it is they do(although those consequences won't be from me), and I'd just try to be there for them when they need help. You might disagree with that method of parenting and that's fine, you can just call me the "asshole" as you put it.

[royalcrown]

1 minute ago, Tmt97 said:

Well I've been described as many things, "asshole" being one of them. Other names have been more more colorful and creative. It really depends on the rule wether or not I'll follow it. If its a reasonable and just rule like laws against theft and murder, then of course. But sure I stand up to authority when they are being dicks or are high on power. As far as "my own kid" I don't have one, nor do I ever intend to. If I did have a kid, I would for the most part let them do whatever they wanted as long as it wasn't hurting anyone else. I'd just help them to understand the consequences of what comes from whatever it is they do(although those consequences won't be from me), and I'd just try to be there for them when they need help. You might disagree with that method of parenting and that's fine, you can just call me the "asshole" as you put it.

No, I was just asking. Some people don't follow the rules just because they don't feel the need for anything but self serving anarchy. That's different from injustice being propagated.

[Tmt97]

12 minutes ago, royalcrown said:

No, I was just asking. Some people don't follow the rules just because they don't feel the need for anything but self serving anarchy. That's different from injustice being propagated.

Well I'm not gonna lie. I've been known to enjoy a bit of self serving anarchy from time to time. I just know when to stop before someone gets police involved.

[royalcrown]

Okay, but if rules are for chumps, then it's okay for someone to knock you out and steal your shit. If it's not, then there has to be at least some rules for you to reap the benefits of society. See where I am going, it's a tradeoff between no rules and living in dirt huts, and caves, and too many rules and all this. Everyone needs to decide where on the scale they are I guess.

 

 

[Swndlr]

To me, bad parenting is not doing what you can to make sure that youre kid is the best he or she can be.

Also, dont be a helicopter parent, in other words, give them freedom because thats the only way to let them grow.

[AlTech]

40 minutes ago, Kobathor said:

Hey! Guess what kids/teens are?
Irresponsible.

Are you trolling me?

Not at all.

 

I am responsible, somewhat kind but I have other problems. I'm a bit too insensitive of others feelings.

[AlTech]

38 minutes ago, Tmt97 said:

Well I've been described as many things, "asshole" being one of them. Other names have been more more colorful and creative. It really depends on the rule wether or not I'll follow it. If its a reasonable and just rule like laws against theft and murder, then of course. But sure I stand up to authority when they are being dicks or are high on power. As far as "my own kid" I don't have one, nor do I ever intend to. If I did have a kid, I would for the most part let them do whatever they wanted as long as it wasn't hurting anyone else. I'd just help them to understand the consequences of what comes from whatever it is they do(although those consequences won't be from me), and I'd just try to be there for them when they need help. You might disagree with that method of parenting and that's fine, you can just call me the "asshole" as you put it.

Same. Some people are eager to call me an asshole. And people have found more offensive and creative names to call me.

 

and same, Depends ont he rule for me too.

[Tmt97]

13 minutes ago, AluminiumTech said:

Same. Some people are eager to call me an asshole. And people have found more offensive and creative names to call me.

 

and same, Depends ont he rule for me too.

We seem to be kindred spirits regarding this.

[Tmt97]

Btw since were talking bad parenting, here's a great example:

[minimoose]

5 hours ago, SeriouslyMikey said:

 

Confiscating isn't stealing though. Taking something without consent is stealing. Confiscating is consensual. Even if a parent had to somewhat force consent out of their child(especially when the child is throwing a hissy fit), they've still given consent, it's the same in schools. A good parent would explain what they're going to do, then take whatever it is away from a kid, a bad parent would just take it away without any discussion. Thankfully, my mum didn't fall into the latter. And parental rules aren't made by officials, no, but they're rules set by parents to try and bring their child up into the world, a child that is respectful and follows actual laws. 

 

Honestly, when I consistently stated that it was confiscating, I think that should really ring a few bells. It's two completely different things. 

So you're telling me every child says "ok mom/dad it's ok for you to take my thing"? Where is the consent? 

[Lily]

Parents who don't let their child enjoy the life they have with their parents. 

[bob345]

17 hours ago, AluminiumTech said:

Recently ,with the parent taking phone scam starting this trend, parenting is coming into questioning as to what is right or wrong.

 

 

So what is considered bad parenting to you?

 

For me: If the child is 15 or over, then taking anything is grand theft

 

Under 15 and then taking anything is sort of ok.

If they are under 18 it should be perfectly fine for a parent to punish their kid by taking something away. I would not consider it theft at all especially if the money to buy said item came from the parents. A parent simply taking something away IS NOT bad parenting by any stretch. Material things can always be replaced. There are far worse things that can happen to a kid because of bad parents than a phone being taken away. It really should be a non issue, but people are far too over sensitive nowadays.

[LargestGnome]

17 hours ago, AluminiumTech said:

Yeah well if you're a slow learner then I must be a fucking snail.

 

Taking things away from me never taught me anything. I was just really pissed off with a vendetta afterwards.

My Mother once made me kneel on rice in the corner for 3 hours as I had thrown a chair at a teacher. I was kind of an odd one, I started to eat the dry rice and throw it towards her asking for more and water as the rice was dry.

[iamdarkyoshi]

My friend's parents let their freaking 7 year old play mature rated games as long as he stays offline. 

 

WTF.

[Volbet]

8 hours ago, Kobathor said:

Maybe organizing bullying? Remember that case in Texas? The father took the daughter's phone away because she was organizing the bullying of another student at school. That's what the father says at least.

Another example- maybe looking up porn? Real talk here, whether you're for or against the concept of pornography, I think it's wrong for kids to go around on 18+ websites watching things they don't need to see.

Maybe talking to strangers? Talking as in maybe arranging meetings (how kids can be raped/killed.) I think that would warrant taking away the phone.

Sending nudes? If they're under-age, it's already illegal for somebody to own the pictures, but they'll probably be distributed among their friends, then maybe the whole school. It happens.

 

There's lots of reasons you'd confiscate a phone.

I guess the case in Texas didn't make international news, becuase I haven't heard about it.

 

I can't really see how organizing something like bullying would warrant taking away a phone, since the crime would be the bullying itself not the organizing of said bullying.

 

I can't even see a problem with looking up porn. If she's old enough to look it up she's old enough to deal with it. I would much rather have her come to me if she has any qestions about porn or sex in general, tnan have her feel ashamed of what she's doing.

If the porn is illegal (CP, beastliality etc.), then that is not a case for me. That's a case for the police.

 

The chances of being abducted, raped and killed are abysmally small. I'm sure as hell not going to live my life in fear of that. Again, I would much rather have her ask questions  about talking, and potentially meeting, strangers than her being affraid of what I'm going to do if she comes to me. 

 

A minor sending nude photos of themself is not illegal where I live (it's not legal either, but I digress). Having the photo isn't illegal either. It only becomes illegal when you distribute it without the concent of the model or if the model distributes the photo to people that don't want it. Atleast, that is what is the dominant theory in current legal theory where I live.

If my daughter were to send nude photos of herself, I think having that photo shared among all her peers is punishment enough. Taking away her phone would not mean anything to her at that point. 

If she just send it a potential boyfriend or girlfriend, and that person keeps it to themself, then I can't really see a problem. Sexting is just the newest iteration of lovers communicating. 

[iamdarkyoshi]

Here is an example of GOOD parenting:

 

[Bhav]

6 hours ago, Tmt97 said:

Btw since were talking bad parenting, here's a great example:

Actually from watching their show on YouTube (don't judge me), other than the junk she fed her kids, she raises them well. She pulled honey boo boo out of paegents whe she didn't want to do them any more, and got her dance lessons cos she wanted to do that.

 

At least they support their kids to the fullest.

[Albatross]

23 hours ago, AluminiumTech said:

Recently ,with the parent taking phone scam starting this trend, parenting is coming into questioning as to what is right or wrong.

 

 

So what is considered bad parenting to you?

 

For me: If the child is 15 or over, then taking anything is grand theft

 

Under 15 and then taking anything is sort of ok.

 

You are under their roof, underage and their child. They feed you, cloth you, give you a roof to sleep under, a show to take, food to eat and a life to live. You fuck up? No phone/toys/games/texting/movies/whatever other crap. What kind of punishment would it be if they aren't giving you the full incentive not to fuck up again? Tell me, what would you learn if they didn't take your things away? That they are pushovers and you can do whatever the hell you want without any real reason to listen to them? Well guess what...in reality when you fuck up, you might not only lose your precious things, but even end up in prison, on the streets or worse...dead. Learning to respect your parents, their rules and their punishments, will make you succeed in society more than it will learning that your parents spoiled you and taught you that your actions have no consequences and that you can have whatever the hell you want.

 

If you go by the complete opposite of this:

 

• Do not spoil your child.
• Punish them whenever they do something wrong, repeat with double harshness if they repeat.
• Teach them about responsibility. Make them do chores for allowance. If a parent can't afford that, still make them do chores.
• Teach them early on that strangers = pain or death. No babying it up, as that doesn't do anything until it is too late.*
• Testing their education (private or public)
• Giving them breathing room for opinions/beliefs/etc and encourage debate
• Family time; could be gaming together, watching tv together, eating together, talking, reading, debating—anything.*
• Forcing them to play outside
• Forcing them to READ
   

you are most likely a bad parent. Things marked with * are mandatory but can help. When I was a kid I lived in a huge neighborhood and let me tell you...all of the kids there were spoiled turds. There was one boy who never got spanked or punished, EVER, and he was a total dick to everyone around him, even his parents. He was the worst of the bunch, of course, but still a product of terrible parenting.

 

Don't be their friend, be their parent. If they aren't screaming that they hate you for "ruining their life" or slamming their doors because you said no to a new phone, you are doing the job wrong.

 

 

 

(Of course, if you bought that phone (whatever it is really) with your own money and paid for it with your own money, that is a bit different. Just don't expect to make your rules when your parents still provide for you.)

[Ridska]

For me , Parenting is a moral and continence thing. Parenting will differ from culture to culture. And that does effect disciplining. 

[AlTech]

1 hour ago, Albatross said:

 

You are under their roof, underage and their child. They feed you, cloth you, give you a roof to sleep under, a show to take, food to eat and a life to live. You fuck up? No phone/toys/games/texting/movies/whatever other crap. What kind of punishment would it be if they aren't giving you the full incentive not to fuck up again? Tell me, what would you learn if they didn't take your things away? That they are pushovers and you can do whatever the hell you want without any real reason to listen to them? Well guess what...in reality when you fuck up, you might not only lose your precious things, but even end up in prison, on the streets or worse...dead. Learning to respect your parents, their rules and their punishments, will make you succeed in society more than it will learning that your parents spoiled you and taught you that your actions have no consequences and that you can have whatever the hell you want.

 

If you go by the complete opposite of this:

 

• Do not spoil your child.
• Punish them whenever they do something wrong, repeat with double harshness if they repeat.
• Teach them about responsibility. Make them do chores for allowance. If a parent can't afford that, still make them do chores.
• Teach them early on that strangers = pain or death. No babying it up, as that doesn't do anything until it is too late.*
• Testing their education (private or public)
• Giving them breathing room for opinions/beliefs/etc and encourage debate
• Family time; could be gaming together, watching tv together, eating together, talking, reading, debating—anything.*
• Forcing them to play outside
• Forcing them to READ
   

you are most likely a bad parent. Things marked with * are mandatory but can help. When I was a kid I lived in a huge neighborhood and let me tell you...all of the kids there were spoiled turds. There was one boy who never got spanked or punished, EVER, and he was a total dick to everyone around him, even his parents. He was the worst of the bunch, of course, but still a product of terrible parenting.

 

Don't be their friend, be their parent. If they aren't screaming that they hate you for "ruining their life" or slamming their doors because you said no to a new phone, you are doing the job wrong.

 

 

 

(Of course, if you bought that phone (whatever it is really) with your own money and paid for it with your own money, that is a bit different. Just don't expect to make your rules when your parents still provide for you.)

Well I decided recently that I wouldn't tolerate ANYBODY taking ANYTHING from me.

 

Because if I do anything "wrong" then immediately my PC and My phone can be taken away from me. That is unacceptable. I need to find a lawyer or if I catch my dad trying to take away an object that belongs to me then I will call the police.

 

I have no mercy with this sort of thing. If parents take away things from children, they are condoning stealing.

[Albatross]

3 hours ago, AluminiumTech said:

Well I decided recently that I wouldn't tolerate ANYBODY taking ANYTHING from me.

 

Because if I do anything "wrong" then immediately my PC and My phone can be taken away from me. That is unacceptable. I need to find a lawyer or if I catch my dad trying to take away an object that belongs to me then I will call the police.

 

I have no mercy with this sort of thing. If parents take away things from children, they are condoning stealing.

You decided?  I'd love to see the expression on your parents' faces if they read your posts. You probably wouldn't see your stuff until you were kicked out of the house at eighteen (or is the new standard twenty-three?). Only then would you understand the lessons they are trying to teach you when you have lost all  your possessions or screwed up majorly in society...or you would continue on like some people—completely oblivious to how the world functions around you.

 

And it isn't stealing nor condoning theft. Did you pay for any of it, hmm? Or did mommy and daddy buy it for you and maintain your ability to use such things?

[AlTech]

8 minutes ago, Albatross said:

You decided?  I'd love to see the expression on your parents' faces if they read your posts. You probably wouldn't see your stuff until you were kicked out of the house at eighteen (or is the new standard twenty-three?). Only then would you understand the lessons they are trying to teach you when you have lost all  your possessions or screwed up majorly in society...or you would continue on like some people—completely oblivious to how the world functions around you.

 

And it isn't stealing nor condoning theft. Did you pay for any of it, hmm? Or did mommy and daddy buy it for you and maintain your ability to use such things?

Well guess what? MY dad gave me an ultimatum last week after I did something supposedly "wrong" (despite not being a bad thingl).

 

The Ultimatum was: Give my desktop to him For an undisclosed amount of time (To stop me from using it) OR Pack a bag and get out.

If my mom hadn't told my dad what an egg head he was and how stupid it was, Then I would have left and likely not continue education and be forced to live on my own.

 

[diapersarefullofshit]

Kids gotta eat!

[Volbet]

Just now, AluminiumTech said:

Well guess what? MY dad gave me an ultimatum last week after I did something supposedly "wrong" (despite not being a bad thingl).

 

The Ultimatum was: Give my desktop to him For an undisclosed amount of time (To stop me from using it) OR Pack a bag and get out.

If my mom hadn't told my dad what an egg head he was and how stupid it was, Then I would have left and likely not continue education and be forced to live on my own.

Please don't do that. That's what I did when I was 15, and it's not a fun experience. The streets can be a hard place to live and finding affordable housing is hard everywhere. 

And depending on the laws where you live, then social services won't let you live on an address that doesn't belong to your legal guardian if you're under 18. 

[Albatross]

3 hours ago, AluminiumTech said:

Well guess what? MY dad gave me an ultimatum last week after I did something supposedly "wrong" (despite not being a bad thingl).

 

The Ultimatum was: Give my desktop to him For an undisclosed amount of time (To stop me from using it) OR Pack a bag and get out.

If my mom hadn't told my dad what an egg head he was and how stupid it was, Then I would have left and likely not continue education and be forced to live on my own.

 

And what did you do that you think wasn't wrong? And If you don't like his rules and disrespect them both by refusing to abide by them and then accepting the punishment for it, then your only alternative is to get out, now isn't it? But if you knew how tough it is to live on your own, to be without a house and your precious phone/PC, you wouldn't even consider considering it, especially if keeping those things just means listening to your parents. So stay; listen to your parents, behave, get an education, and be a responsible person who can learn that actions have consequences. Because the fact that you even think about running away because your parents punish you means you are still a child.

 

You didn't answer my question by the way.