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LTT Jokes Thread

Assassin
By Assassin
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Posted

PreNote: This is the Humor thread, so set your mind as such before reading below.

 

I was going to start a similar thread along the same lines but poking fun at LTT thread titles or create some to mock the typical threads that sink to the bottom of the forum in a day if not a few hours.

 

Storage Area:

 

My Drive is performing at optimal performance, can someone post in my thread on how great that is.

 

Forum Area

 

Can you add a feature to the forum that just list the posts I want to read and move the rest to some other section.

 

Troubleshooting Section

 

Can someone fix my problem that I will not list nor list any relevant info to the problem? HELP, EMERGENCY!!!

 

News Section

 

Company X introduced Product Y! Discuss!

and just one thread below

Product Y introduced by Company X! Discuss!

then right below that

Discuss Product Y from Company X!

 

Case and PS section

 

Recommend me a Case and PS, and I will provide no relevant info on what I want so I can shoot every post down with bits of info on what I need.

 

Graphics Card Sections

 

Brand X of GPU's are better than everything else because I bought it! So there.

 

Console Gaming Section

 

What is the best GPU for PC Gaming and do you eat chips while Gaming? I know, wrong section but I'm here already and I am too lazy to click to the top menu and scroll to the correct section because I do what I want and could care less and won't read any replies anyway.

I roll with sigs off so I have no idea what you're advertising.

 

This is NOT the signature you are looking for.

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Posted

A man is sitting at home and a police officer knocks on his door

The officer asks him if he is married and the man replies, "Yes I am."

He then asks him if he has a recent picture of his wife. "Sure hold on a second."

The officer looks at the picture, and in a sad voice says, "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train."

The man says, "I know, but she has a good personality and is an excellent cook."

Signatures are stupid.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

I suggest you follow this thread, im currently on a role and they seem to me funny, well i at least like them.

 

Ok we all know Linus has his moments of weirdness were he pulls out a pun and slick does his fake laugh so that he doesnt get fired.

 

Anyways ive come up with a few in the last hour and i wanna see if any of you guys can come up with some as well.

 

and yes they are meant to be stupid 

 

1. I want to tell you a DownloadMoreRAM joke, but it's a little DIMM.
2.id tell you a joke about fans, it will blow you away
3. I might become a comedian, but you would have to pay me in cache
4. God was creating the earth, sadly EA delayed mantle.
5. With all these posts im surprised no one has told me to Be quiet.
6. Look at my new case, its truly Nzxt gen.
7. My monitor cut me, it was Sharp.
8. Those graphics are amazing, they must be Voodoo magic.
9. You need ram in your computer, its Crucial to making it work.
10. If you join the army then make sure you dont use AMD, how will you get Intel.
 
Ill add more when i think them up, and wee of these were thought up just now, all i have companied are company names.
 
 
The white bs should be fixed now, hopefully, maybe, not sure.
 

cpu: intel i5 4670k @ 4.5ghz Ram: G skill ares 2x4gb 2166mhz cl10 Gpu: GTX 680 liquid cooled cpu cooler: Raijintek ereboss Mobo: gigabyte z87x ud5h psu: cm gx650 bronze Case: Zalman Z9 plus


Listen if you care.

Cpu: intel i7 4770k @ 4.2ghz Ram: G skill  ripjaws 2x4gb Gpu: nvidia gtx 970 cpu cooler: akasa venom voodoo Mobo: G1.Sniper Z6 Psu: XFX proseries 650w Case: Zalman H1

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Posted

OOO got another one.

 

A man walks into a shop asking for a usb stick, the shop keeper asked how do you like them, the customer says, anything as long as its not "flashy"

cpu: intel i5 4670k @ 4.5ghz Ram: G skill ares 2x4gb 2166mhz cl10 Gpu: GTX 680 liquid cooled cpu cooler: Raijintek ereboss Mobo: gigabyte z87x ud5h psu: cm gx650 bronze Case: Zalman Z9 plus


Listen if you care.

Cpu: intel i7 4770k @ 4.2ghz Ram: G skill  ripjaws 2x4gb Gpu: nvidia gtx 970 cpu cooler: akasa venom voodoo Mobo: G1.Sniper Z6 Psu: XFX proseries 650w Case: Zalman H1

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Posted

What is with the white highlighting on the jokes?

olhv.png

They were my statuses, im too lazy to write them again

cpu: intel i5 4670k @ 4.5ghz Ram: G skill ares 2x4gb 2166mhz cl10 Gpu: GTX 680 liquid cooled cpu cooler: Raijintek ereboss Mobo: gigabyte z87x ud5h psu: cm gx650 bronze Case: Zalman Z9 plus


Listen if you care.

Cpu: intel i7 4770k @ 4.2ghz Ram: G skill  ripjaws 2x4gb Gpu: nvidia gtx 970 cpu cooler: akasa venom voodoo Mobo: G1.Sniper Z6 Psu: XFX proseries 650w Case: Zalman H1

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Posted

What is with the white highlighting on the jokes?

 

You know my pain.

 

-snip-

 

When you copy/paste, either press Ctrl+Shift+V or right click and click "Paste as plain text". This will remove the highlighting and font color. It's due to the fact that when you copy/paste, you carry the font formatting with you, which is hard coded when you paste, so that other themes can't overwrite it. 

If you paste as plain text, whatever theme is being used alters the text to whatever formatting it's supposed to be. 

It's very unpleasant for alternate theme users.

† Christian Member †

For my pertinent links to guides, reviews, and anything similar, go here, and look under the spoiler labeled such. A brief history of Unix and it's relation to OS X by Builder.

 

 

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Posted

You know my pain.

 

 

When you copy/paste, either press Ctrl+Shift+V or right click and click "Paste as plain text". This will remove the highlighting and font color. It's due to the fact that when you copy/paste, you carry the font formatting with you, which is hard coded when you paste, so that other themes can't overwrite it. 

If you paste as plain text, whatever theme is being used alters the text to whatever formatting it's supposed to be. 

It's very unpleasant for alternate theme users.

sorry about that, the difference is very minor so i couldnt tell unless it was pointed out.

cpu: intel i5 4670k @ 4.5ghz Ram: G skill ares 2x4gb 2166mhz cl10 Gpu: GTX 680 liquid cooled cpu cooler: Raijintek ereboss Mobo: gigabyte z87x ud5h psu: cm gx650 bronze Case: Zalman Z9 plus


Listen if you care.

Cpu: intel i7 4770k @ 4.2ghz Ram: G skill  ripjaws 2x4gb Gpu: nvidia gtx 970 cpu cooler: akasa venom voodoo Mobo: G1.Sniper Z6 Psu: XFX proseries 650w Case: Zalman H1

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Posted

OOO got another one.

 

A man walks into a shop asking for a usb stick, the shop keeper asked how do you like them, the customer says, anything as long as its not "flashy"

you should do standup

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Posted

You need to shave, you have alot of cors(h)air on your face. 

 

Lol, I know, completely phoned that in. Keep working on this though, more innuendos please!!!!

8320 @ 4.3ghz l Gigabyte 970a Ud3 l Hyper 212 Evo l R9 290 l 8gb RAM 1866 Vengeance l 1tb WD Black l 120gb Samsung Evo SSD l HX750 Gold PSU l 500d Arctic Case l Windows 8 OS l K65 and Blackwidow Keyboard l M65 and DeathAdder 2013 l Qck Steelseries l 24in Vizio Monitor 1080p

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Posted

Haha, I really enjoyed these, number 8 especially but I fear most people wont get it. After all it's been a good while since we've had 3dfx GPU's.

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Posted

Another one,

 

My parents ask me why am i always on steam, i reply its to let off......ahh fuck it

 

My internet went out, my levels or Tera are rising

cpu: intel i5 4670k @ 4.5ghz Ram: G skill ares 2x4gb 2166mhz cl10 Gpu: GTX 680 liquid cooled cpu cooler: Raijintek ereboss Mobo: gigabyte z87x ud5h psu: cm gx650 bronze Case: Zalman Z9 plus


Listen if you care.

Cpu: intel i7 4770k @ 4.2ghz Ram: G skill  ripjaws 2x4gb Gpu: nvidia gtx 970 cpu cooler: akasa venom voodoo Mobo: G1.Sniper Z6 Psu: XFX proseries 650w Case: Zalman H1

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Posted

You know what they say about hoes, they are free2play but pay2win

cpu: intel i5 4670k @ 4.5ghz Ram: G skill ares 2x4gb 2166mhz cl10 Gpu: GTX 680 liquid cooled cpu cooler: Raijintek ereboss Mobo: gigabyte z87x ud5h psu: cm gx650 bronze Case: Zalman Z9 plus


Listen if you care.

Cpu: intel i7 4770k @ 4.2ghz Ram: G skill  ripjaws 2x4gb Gpu: nvidia gtx 970 cpu cooler: akasa venom voodoo Mobo: G1.Sniper Z6 Psu: XFX proseries 650w Case: Zalman H1

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Posted

I was once asked what is my rape face, it the same as my Warface

cpu: intel i5 4670k @ 4.5ghz Ram: G skill ares 2x4gb 2166mhz cl10 Gpu: GTX 680 liquid cooled cpu cooler: Raijintek ereboss Mobo: gigabyte z87x ud5h psu: cm gx650 bronze Case: Zalman Z9 plus


Listen if you care.

Cpu: intel i7 4770k @ 4.2ghz Ram: G skill  ripjaws 2x4gb Gpu: nvidia gtx 970 cpu cooler: akasa venom voodoo Mobo: G1.Sniper Z6 Psu: XFX proseries 650w Case: Zalman H1

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Posted

"Lets make a new mod icon and admin icon"... ¬_¬

 

Spoiler
Spoiler

"You know I was taught that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. You feeling me cocksucker?"

Spoiler

"Ethernet is internet juice. You have to press the internet really hard and you will get it."

Spoiler

"My quantum milk machine brings every boy to all the yards." non futuis et sursum

 

PC Specs! | I7-950 | 24GB RAM | 10TB Storage | GTX 970 Strix and a 560TI DCUII for Physx | 120GB 840 + 250GB 850 EVO | Asus xonar DGX

 

 

Please take a moment to look over the forum CoC here.

 

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Posted

We went to Africa, it was not long after that we were attacked by RaiderZ 

 

You should go to Dubai, its Neverwinter

 

If you play golf then you will need to know the "windspeed"(36)

cpu: intel i5 4670k @ 4.5ghz Ram: G skill ares 2x4gb 2166mhz cl10 Gpu: GTX 680 liquid cooled cpu cooler: Raijintek ereboss Mobo: gigabyte z87x ud5h psu: cm gx650 bronze Case: Zalman Z9 plus


Listen if you care.

Cpu: intel i7 4770k @ 4.2ghz Ram: G skill  ripjaws 2x4gb Gpu: nvidia gtx 970 cpu cooler: akasa venom voodoo Mobo: G1.Sniper Z6 Psu: XFX proseries 650w Case: Zalman H1

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Posted

my computer is so slow, it hertz...

msi z97m gaming - i5 4690k @4.4ghz 1.2V - corsair h110 - powercolor r9 290x pcs+ - 8GB corsair vengeance dual channel @2133mhz - thermaltake smart power se 730watts - intel 530 series 240GB ssd - seagate 1tb 7200rpm - corsiar obsidian 350D - 2x enermax tb silence 140mm - logitech x-530 - sony mdr xb600 - medion 24'' 1080P - cm storm quickfire tk white edition with cherry mx red - cheap but awesome mouse #GloriousPaintMasterRace

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Posted

my computer is so slow, it hertz...

Your cooling must be Toxic

cpu: intel i5 4670k @ 4.5ghz Ram: G skill ares 2x4gb 2166mhz cl10 Gpu: GTX 680 liquid cooled cpu cooler: Raijintek ereboss Mobo: gigabyte z87x ud5h psu: cm gx650 bronze Case: Zalman Z9 plus


Listen if you care.

Cpu: intel i7 4770k @ 4.2ghz Ram: G skill  ripjaws 2x4gb Gpu: nvidia gtx 970 cpu cooler: akasa venom voodoo Mobo: G1.Sniper Z6 Psu: XFX proseries 650w Case: Zalman H1

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Posted

did you hear about the man who got his finger stuck in his computer?

he was trying to insert his thumb drive...

msi z97m gaming - i5 4690k @4.4ghz 1.2V - corsair h110 - powercolor r9 290x pcs+ - 8GB corsair vengeance dual channel @2133mhz - thermaltake smart power se 730watts - intel 530 series 240GB ssd - seagate 1tb 7200rpm - corsiar obsidian 350D - 2x enermax tb silence 140mm - logitech x-530 - sony mdr xb600 - medion 24'' 1080P - cm storm quickfire tk white edition with cherry mx red - cheap but awesome mouse #GloriousPaintMasterRace

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Posted

did you hear about the man who got his finger stuck in his computer?

he was trying to insert his thumb drive...

Well thank god it was actually a floppy drive, what on earth would he do if it was a hard drive

cpu: intel i5 4670k @ 4.5ghz Ram: G skill ares 2x4gb 2166mhz cl10 Gpu: GTX 680 liquid cooled cpu cooler: Raijintek ereboss Mobo: gigabyte z87x ud5h psu: cm gx650 bronze Case: Zalman Z9 plus


Listen if you care.

Cpu: intel i7 4770k @ 4.2ghz Ram: G skill  ripjaws 2x4gb Gpu: nvidia gtx 970 cpu cooler: akasa venom voodoo Mobo: G1.Sniper Z6 Psu: XFX proseries 650w Case: Zalman H1

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Posted

Your cooling must be Toxic

i don't like computer jokes, not a single bit...

msi z97m gaming - i5 4690k @4.4ghz 1.2V - corsair h110 - powercolor r9 290x pcs+ - 8GB corsair vengeance dual channel @2133mhz - thermaltake smart power se 730watts - intel 530 series 240GB ssd - seagate 1tb 7200rpm - corsiar obsidian 350D - 2x enermax tb silence 140mm - logitech x-530 - sony mdr xb600 - medion 24'' 1080P - cm storm quickfire tk white edition with cherry mx red - cheap but awesome mouse #GloriousPaintMasterRace

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Posted

Well thank god it was actually a floppy drive, what on earth would he do if it was a hard drive

0_o that would hertz....

msi z97m gaming - i5 4690k @4.4ghz 1.2V - corsair h110 - powercolor r9 290x pcs+ - 8GB corsair vengeance dual channel @2133mhz - thermaltake smart power se 730watts - intel 530 series 240GB ssd - seagate 1tb 7200rpm - corsiar obsidian 350D - 2x enermax tb silence 140mm - logitech x-530 - sony mdr xb600 - medion 24'' 1080P - cm storm quickfire tk white edition with cherry mx red - cheap but awesome mouse #GloriousPaintMasterRace

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