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LTT Jokes Thread

Assassin
By Assassin
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So a Linus, Slick and Edzel walk into a bar... :ph34r:

 

...............

 

......and then Linus says NOT MICRO USB... :D

 

....I don't know what I am doing AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 

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So a Linus, Slick and Edzel walk into a bar... :ph34r:

 

...............

 

......and then Linus says NOT MICRO USB... :D

 

....I don't know what I am doing AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

+1 for trying haha

 

 

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Posted

Well here are some pretty bad computer related jokes.

 

First a few sexual innuendos:

She could swap my floppy anyday
I'd root into her system.
I'd penetrate her firewall
I'd overflow her buffer.
I'd plug my usb into her connector
I'd use the backdoor, with a trojan of course.
I'd google all over her facebook
I'd scan her for open ports
I'm  gonna RAM my hard drive into your motherboard.

 

 

I hope she like RAID, because I am going to make all other males in her life redundant. No one else will be able to controller like I can.

 

 

Why do Java developers wear glasses?
Because they can't C#.

 

 

Why would a stick of laptop RAM make a bad light bulb? ...Because it's SO-DIMM!

 

 

I spent $20 million making a band about radical point operations.
We went to our first show, and we sucked.
That was one of our biggest FLOPS.

 

 

People who plug their computer keyboards into hi-fi systems aren't idiots. That would be stereotyping.

 

 

A woman asks her husband, who is a computer programmer, to go to the store. She tells him, "Buy a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, buy six."
He goes to the store and comes back with six loaves of bread. She asks him why he bought the six loaves, and he replies, "They had eggs."

 

 

The problem with a UDP joke is that you have no idea if people got it.

I'd tell you a UDP joke but I'm not sure you'd get it

 

 

I started a band, it's called 999 megabytes, and guess what? We didn't even get a gig.

 

 

Q: What are your top 3 favorite bands?
A: 900, 1800 and 1900

 

 

So i heard the want to increase the size of a byte to 9.
If you ask me that's a bit too far

 

 

Why do programmers get Christmas confused with Halloween?... Because dec 25 = oct 31

 

 

Some bad pickup lines:

Hey baby, can I call you malloc? Cuz you just gave me a pointer!

You had me at "Hello World."

My 'up-time' is better than BSD.

Are you Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for.

Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?
You must be Windows 95 because you gots me so unstable.
I was hoping you wouldn't block my pop-up.
Want to see my Red Hat?
If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it.

You're the most realistic video game here. How do I switch your difficulty to very easy?

 

 

Here is a science joke that's related to the UDP jokes above:

The thing about quantum physics jokes is that you can never tell whether they're funny or not until you tell them.

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Oh god.. except for Lawlz' these were all terrible. And seriously? Giga-hurt you? And that's not even techie, giga is a prefix to denominate a billion.

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this is not techie ,and i dont know if its told right but...

hey girl ,whats your sine? it most be p\2 because your the 1

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I guess this could count as a joke.

 

My mum brought me her laptop over and asked me to fix it, she called the support line and they said it was an ID 10 T error, and that they said it would be an easy fix.

 

I couldnt help but laugh in her face, my mother couldnt understand why.

Case: Fractal Design Arc Mini / Motherboard:GigaByte G1-Sniper-M5 / CPU: Intel 4670k / Ram: 16GB Corsair Vengeance LP 1600mhz / GPU: Asus GTX770 Direct CU 2GB / PSU: OCZ ZT650 / SSD: 2xSamsung 840 240GB / HDD: Seagate Barracuda 1TB / Cooler: Corsair H100i / Fans: 3x Corsair AF120 + 2 Corsair SP120 / Mouse: Corsair M65 / Keyboard: Cheap Crap/ Headset: Razer Kraken / Misk: 3DConnexion mouse / Flight stick: Cyborg F.L.Y 5

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Posted

saw this earlier, figured I'd post

 

tumblr_mq04mzncSm1re04pso1_500.jpg

Stuff:  i7 7700k @ (dat nibba succ) | ASRock Z170M OC Formula | G.Skill TridentZ 3600 c16 | EKWB 1080 @ 2100 mhz  |  Acer X34 Predator | R4 | EVGA 1000 P2 | 1080mm Radiator Custom Loop | HD800 + Audio-GD NFB-11 | 850 Evo 1TB | 840 Pro 256GB | 3TB WD Blue | 2TB Barracuda

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LOL, I approve of the first one.

“The value of a college education is not the learning of many facts but the training of the mind to think”

 

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Loool

CPU: Intel Core i5 4670K | CPU Cooler: Coolermaster Hyper 212 Evo | Motherboard: Asus Z87 PRO | Ram: Corsair Vengence 8GB DDR3 | Graphics Card: Asus GTX 670 Direct CU II OC | SSD: 128GB Samsung 840 Evo  | HDD: 2TB Seagate Barracuda 


Case: CM Storm Scout 2 | Monitor: 2x LG 22EA53VQ IPS 


OS: Windows 8 Professional 64 Bit

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4MNSG.jpg

 

4MNTs.jpg

CPU: Ryzen 5 3600 @ Stock, CPU cooler: Dark Rock 4, Motherboard: MSI B450M PRO-M2 MAX, RAM: 2x8GB Crucial Ballistix DDR4 @ 3000Mhz, GPU: EVGA GTX 1080 ACX 3.0, SSD: Crucial P1 1TB M.2 + 2x120GB SSDs, Case: Corsair 110R, PSU: Corsair TX650M, OS: Windows 10 64-bit.

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Tech jokes? ok...

 

 

 

Consoles are better than PC

<p>Eryi's Action Rule#2 - "Dont jump on the green mushroom"

Ministry of StopIt!

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Jokes son, not battle cries

How can even call it a battle cry? Its more like cry for help that noone will give a single f*ck...

 

Anyways its still a good joke...

<p>Eryi's Action Rule#2 - "Dont jump on the green mushroom"

Ministry of StopIt!

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Them's fightin' words were I come from.

And joke in PC community...

<p>Eryi's Action Rule#2 - "Dont jump on the green mushroom"

Ministry of StopIt!

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And joke in PC community...

 

Actually, where I come from, "Ford or Chevy" are the real fighting words lol. But yeah, that's always a great way to troll people and get them arguing :P

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Actually, where I come from, "Ford or Chevy" are the real fighting words lol. But yeah, that's always a great way to troll people and get them arguing :P

Dude if someone mentions Chevy is better than ford me and my friend start arguing it never ends well lol

CPU AMD A10-5800k  GPU GTX 960 Gigabyte G1 Motherboard Asrock fm2a75m-dgs Ram G.skill 8gigs ddr3 PSU Corsair HX650 HDD Two 1TB Hitachi 7200 rpm Case Zalman z11

Keyboard CM Storm Quickfire TK with chery mx reds Mouse Logitech m500 Headset Logitech g430 Laptop Lenovo u310 touch Phone HTC one

 

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Take care of something, it will last. Unless it's an Apple product.

 

On a side note, I don't play LoL.

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Dude if someone mentions Chevy is better than ford me and my friend start arguing it never ends well lol

Ive heard Chevy is better than Ford...

<p>Eryi's Action Rule#2 - "Dont jump on the green mushroom"

Ministry of StopIt!

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Ive heard Chevy is better than Ford...

Oh no you didn't

CPU AMD A10-5800k  GPU GTX 960 Gigabyte G1 Motherboard Asrock fm2a75m-dgs Ram G.skill 8gigs ddr3 PSU Corsair HX650 HDD Two 1TB Hitachi 7200 rpm Case Zalman z11

Keyboard CM Storm Quickfire TK with chery mx reds Mouse Logitech m500 Headset Logitech g430 Laptop Lenovo u310 touch Phone HTC one

 

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4MNTs.jpg

Burn!

                                                                 ELEPHANT SEALS EVERYWHERE!

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Actually, where I come from, "Ford or Chevy" are the real fighting words lol. But yeah, that's always a great way to troll people and get them arguing :P

 

Yeah its pretty much the same here in 'stralia but here its "Ford vs. Holden". Holden for those who don't know is basically our version of GM

And then you realize your shoes are filled with peanut butter, what then?! >:L

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