Come up with a self contradicting statement (Paradox or Oxymoron)

[DarthSmartt]

Through some cool, funny, and preferably non inappropiate self contradicting statements at me. I need some. This is what this subforum is for right?

[Blasteque]

Everything I say is a lie.

[Arika]

Nobody goes to that restaurant. it's too crowded.

[Guest]

Change is the only constant

[CryptoMatt]

The turtle is fast (if this is for school you owe me $5 if you use it)

[Bhav]

I'm too dumb to be able to create such a statement.

[RyomaSJibenG]

i can't get a job because i don't have enough experience because i don't have a job because i don't have enough experience.......

[Unoffical-ChrisK]

Jumbo Shrimp = always wins.

[Bhav]

14 minutes ago, RyomaSJibenG said:

i can't get a job because i don't have enough experience because i don't have a job because i don't have enough experience.......

Gotta work voluntary for like 2 years to get a job any better than fast food restaurants or retail nowadays.

 

Even my degree doesnt count towards getting a desk job because all I have is retail work experience.

[RyomaSJibenG]

2 minutes ago, Bhav said:

Gotta work voluntary for like 2 years to get a job any better than fast food restaurants or retail nowadays.

 

Even my degree doesnt count towards getting a desk job because all I have is retail work experience.

well i did retail for 3 month while waiting to get a job.

i got lucky that the first company i work offer a training course before they absorb me in. so yea, i'm very thankful for that

[Bhav]

Just now, RyomaSJibenG said:

well i did retail for 3 month while waiting to get a job.

i got lucky that the first company i work offer a training course before they absorb me in. so yea, i'm very thankful for that

I advise anyone I can nowadays in the UK to go onto apprenticeships rather than degrees. You can always do a degree later, and apprenticeships get you the work experience that most employers would be looking for.

[RyomaSJibenG]

2 minutes ago, Bhav said:

I advise anyone I can nowadays in the UK to go onto apprenticeships rather than degrees. You can always do a degree later, and apprenticeships get you the work experience that most employers would be looking for.

with how the current situation is, yea that's probably the better option

[Volbet]

A married bachelor.

[captain_to_fire]

"The Sound of Silence"

 

Thanks Simon & Garfunkel

[Sickshooter0]

Why use big words when a diminutive one will work?

[Whiskers]

Only the sith deal in absolutes.

[Wauthar]

80% of the time it works all the time.

[Drak3]

Hurry up and wait.

[Urishima]

Oh, I've got a real treat for you. You'll love this:

 

Yes, that is the 'Happy Birthday Hitler' (or some nonsense along those lines. HITLER DINDU NUTHIN! HE WAS A GOOD GOY!) chick.

 

And the superior parody of it:

 

[Volbet]

25 minutes ago, Urishima said:

Oh, I've got a real treat for you. You'll love this:

Yes, that is the 'Happy Birthday Hitler' (or some nonsense along those lines. HITLER DINDU NUTHIN! HE WAS A GOOD GOY!) chick.

Oh, Stay Sane. Never change.

 

I'm not gonna lie. If that video had been worded just slightly different it would have made for a somewhat mediocre tampon commercial.

 

Also, this:

 

[Bhav]

2 hours ago, Urishima said:

Oh, I've got a real treat for you. You'll love this:

 

Yes, that is the 'Happy Birthday Hitler' (or some nonsense along those lines. HITLER DINDU NUTHIN! HE WAS A GOOD GOY!) chick.

 

And the superior parody of it:

 

So beautiful:

 

 

[Tcrumpen]

18 hours ago, DarthSmartt said:

Through some cool, funny, and preferably non inappropiate self contradicting statements at me. I need some. This is what this subforum is for right?

This sentence is false

 

Does a set of all sets contain itself?

 

Unexpected hanging paradox

 

The oldest paradox of them all the Time Traveler's paradox in which someone goes back in time to stop a horrible event from occurring; however in doing so they remove the events that would have caused them to go back in time in the first place therefore erasing themselves from existance

[Tcrumpen]

8 hours ago, RyomaSJibenG said:

i can't get a job because i don't have enough experience because i don't have a job because i don't have enough experience.......

That's known as a catch 22

[b3ar]

"Hard to be soft/Tough to be tender" - Metric

[Syntaxvgm]

"You shouldn't tell people what to do"