Need "girl" advice

[dizmo]

23 minutes ago, Erik Sieghart said:

Social skills also include reading comprehension.

Not sure where you were going with that.

22 minutes ago, Cinnabar Sonar said:

With some jobs, good social skills is basically a requirement.

Exactly. I'd say virtually every job.

21 minutes ago, techguy98 said:

You are right. I kinda wanted to ask my "own kind" per say as I just kinda feel at home here.

 

Also, we have know each other for a while now so when we were talking I just asked.  

Hurray! Congrats.

[Guest lilbman]

Ask her.  Just ask her.  If she says no, act like nothing happened.  It will show that you are secure enough with yourself that you won't get upset over someone rejecting you.

 

Be a man.

[dizmo]

1 minute ago, Erik Sieghart said:

Not only did I not mention anything about social ability, functions, or anything of the sort, I neither implied these things were mutually exclusive with getting good grades.

Further, awkward teenage dating can be hardly confused with real life "social skills" required in an office or professional setting.

Sure they can. How do you overcome the awkwardness? Talking to people. Going on dates. Then it becomes easier. That gets carried over to any other kind of social interaction, such as a lunch meeting or interview.

I've gotten jobs just because the interviewer thought I was cute. So. It's certainly relevant.

[SCHISCHKA]

On 25/09/2017 at 11:24 AM, techguy98 said:

So should I ask as just "friends"

do this and then when she is having a good time do what donald trump would do. if she is not laughing then you must stay friends.

[dalekphalm]

9 hours ago, lilbman said:

Be a man.

All I could think of was this after reading your post.

[System Error Message]

well it might be easier to become a girl, understand what its like to be one, then switch back to being a guy and talk to the girl.

[Legolessed]

On 9/24/2017 at 3:09 PM, Erik Sieghart said:

Ignore girls, acquire good grades.

You can’t exactly control crushes. Trust me that was my plan. Get good grades, focus on school.......

 

i mean love is literally huge amounts of chemicals in your brain getting released, a huge one being dopamine. The funny thing is the same chemicals get released whether you have a crush or you are on cocaine. So now you know what’s going on if your friends seems weirdly tired all the time.

[dalekphalm]

Just now, Legolessed said:

You can’t exactly control crushes. Trust me that was my plan. Get good grades, focus on school.......

Not to mention that anyone who intentionally avoids romantic relationships in high school (who isn't asexual) is, frankly, missing out.

 

Sure, not everyone gets the girl at that age. Many don't even get their first girlfriend or boyfriend until college or even later. But if you get the opportunity, it can be amazing.

 

Plus, once you get there, sex is... well... just great

[Bananasplit_00]

lemme see, what i did to hook GF was to exessivly compliment in a still pretty non creepy way untill she reaized. doubt thats going to work for you tbh. probably mostly worked because this is a pretty long distance relationship and i knew her and what she liked quite well

[Anghammarad]

6 minutes ago, Bananasplit_00 said:

lemme see, what i did to hook GF was to exessivly compliment in a still pretty non creepy way untill she reaized. doubt thats going to work for you tbh. probably mostly worked because this is a pretty long distance relationship and i knew her and what she liked quite well

complimenting can go the other way around as well... every time I told my wife that she looks stunning etc, she always said she didn't trust my judgement because I'm biased.

 

[AlTech]

I might be missing something here but what is this "homecoming"? Unless you mean something involving her coming home to "play games" or "netflix and chill" .

[AlTech]

15 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Not to mention that anyone who intentionally avoids romantic relationships in high school (who isn't asexual) is, frankly, missing out.

Some people don't avoid them so much as they don't look for them.

15 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Sure, not everyone gets the girl at that age. Many don't even get their first girlfriend or boyfriend until college or even later. But if you get the opportunity, it can be amazing.

Some people may not be able to have the opportunity for all kinds of reasons.....

15 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Plus, once you get there, sex is... well... just great

Teacher! He said the S Word!

 

/joke

[dalekphalm]

4 minutes ago, Anghammarad said:

complimenting can go the other way around as well... every time I told my wife that she looks stunning etc, she always said she didn't trust my judgement because I'm biased.

 

Your wife most likely has self-esteem/confidence issues.

 

If she doesn't trust your judgement, that's most likely because she sees herself as ugly (even if that's not true). These cases are difficult to deal with. It can sometimes be incredibly frustrating to look at an absolutely gorgeous and beautiful woman, tell her you find her beautiful, and for her to reply something along the lines of "You're wrong I'm <fat/ugly, etc>".

 

The best course of action in my experience is to subtlety keep reinforcing her confidence. When she says she doesn't trust your judgement because you're biased, tell her "I still believe it, I can see it with my own eyes", etc.

 

Also, if it's severe, she should consider counselling or therapy, but unless she comes up with the idea, suggesting it can easily backfire.

 

2 minutes ago, AluminiumTech said:

I might be missing something here but what is this "homecoming"? Unless you mean something involving her coming home to "play games" or "netflix and chill" .

"Homecoming" is a dance - often fall/winter themed, often around Christmas. If your country does "Prom", it's kind of like Prom.

 

Basically it's a school dance where people are expected to go as couples, wear fancy dresses and suits, and there's usually a mix of slow music for "couples" dancing, and fast/contemporary music (Eg: Top 40's/Pop, Country, club music, dubstep/EDM, Rock, Metal - depends on the local culture and music tastes of the school).

 

Often the dance will have a theme, but this is not strictly mandatory to meet the definition.

[dalekphalm]

1 minute ago, AluminiumTech said:

Some people don't avoid them so much as they don't look for them.

Some people may not be able to have the opportunity for all kinds of reasons.....

Teacher! He said the S Word!

 

/joke

All true - and if you aren't looking? That's totally fine. But if the girl of your dreams starts knocking on your door, you'd be a fool not to answer it.

 

And yes, some may not get those opportunities. But there are way too many people on this forum who seem soured by bad experiences - they think all women are gold digging greedy blood suckers, etc, even when that's obviously not the case for your average girl. So their advice is "LOL buy a GPU instead".

[Bananasplit_00]

12 minutes ago, Anghammarad said:

complimenting can go the other way around as well... every time I told my wife that she looks stunning etc, she always said she didn't trust my judgement because I'm biased.

 

definatly, but i started slow, and not with major things. knowing what she responded good to to begin with helped a lot, and online comunication made the whole thing possible

[handymanshandle]

35 minutes ago, dalekphalm said:

Not to mention that anyone who intentionally avoids romantic relationships in high school (who isn't asexual) is, frankly, missing out.

 

Sure, not everyone gets the girl at that age. Many don't even get their first girlfriend or boyfriend until college or even later. But if you get the opportunity, it can be amazing.

 

Plus, once you get there, sex is... well... just great

can confirm, I really didn't interest myself with finding a guy though that was a good thing because otherwise I probably wouldn't be with the guy that I'm with but honestly the gays in my school were not that evident and if they were they weren't the kind of guy I would be interested in. I guess when the local guys are shit, you outsource to a different state actually that's what I think the guy I'm with was kinda doing but I'm glad he did because he's pretty awesome. Also I've always been lukewarm on staying here in Minnesota. But now I have more reason and desire to want to leave. Minnesota is being invaded by Californians, Illinoisans and Somalis. (Not that I have anything against those groups of people but they do dilute some of the things that I think made Minnesota good which is the culture that we've got going on that the people from those areas don't really want to adopt in their new home here they tend to kinda bring the life they had back in their old home while trying to reap benefits of their new one such as better welfare programs and what not.)

 

But I'm derailing another thread again, so.

[WkdPaul]

Thread somewhat cleaned (there's limits to what can be done on mobile)

 

The Community Standards is pretty clear on what behavior to have, be respectful. 

 

Being condescending and rude isn't being respectful.