Need "girl" advice

[techguy98]

I know this is off topic, so dont tell me its a tech forum. I came here mostly becuase I view myself as a tech guy myself with no social experience at all looking for advice. Ok so...

 

Setting: High School

Grade: 11

Status: Friends

 

I know this girl that I have liked for about a year or so. We have worked on several projects together last year and had 3 classes together. I would say that we are friends at this point but nothing more. School just started and some of my friends are going to homecoming and I was thinking of asking her. The issue is we really dont hang out outside of school and we know almost nothing about each other. I don't know if its a good idea as my weekends are spent in front of a screen (I view myself as unsocial and kinda werid). And if its a good idea should I first ask her to the movies or something before homecoming?

 

I know this is a tech forum but, I have been thinking this over for a week or so now and well... now I am here. Any advice is appreciated. 

[Megah3rtz]

Just ask her, either it works or it doesn't. 

[g12601]

Holy actual crap. This is a basic description of my situation a couple of years ago. If I learned anything from that experience is that you should really take your chances and bet it all like other people have said. The worst that could happen is a "no" reply. Just do it and do what many guys are afraid to have happen to them (Like I did).

Really because its been "a year or so" your enemy here is time if you want something to actually happen.

 

Best of luck and what not.

[TheKDub]

23 minutes ago, techguy98 said:

I know this is off topic, so dont tell me its a tech forum. I came here mostly becuase I view myself as a tech guy myself with no social experience at all looking for advice. Ok so...

 

Setting: High School

Grade: 11

Status: Friends

 

I know this girl that I have liked for about a year or so. We have worked on several projects together last year and had 3 classes together. I would say that we are friends at this point but nothing more. School just started and some of my friends are going to homecoming and I was thinking of asking her. The issue is we really dont hang out outside of school and we know almost nothing about each other. I don't know if its a good idea as my weekends are spent in front of a screen (I view myself as unsocial and kinda werid). And if its a good idea should I first ask her to the movies or something before homecoming?

 

I know this is a tech forum but, I have been thinking this over for a week or so now and well... now I am here. Any advice is appreciated. 

 

Ask her to homecoming, don't worry about asking her out on a date before hand or anything.

 

When I was in high school, I took a girl to homecoming as friends, then that later turned into a relationship. The same could happen to you, you just have to ask her.

 

The worst that will happen is she says no, or already is going with someone else. Or she says yes, and then you go either as friends or as dates. If you don't ask, you're saying no to yourself for her.

 

I'd suggest just taking her as friends for now, leave relationships out of the question until you really start to get to know the person, that way you don't end up getting into a shitty situation if it doesn't end up working out. (At least not as often)

[AshleyAshes]

8 minutes ago, Megah3rtz said:

Just ask her, either it works or it doesn't. 

This.  Don't built into some big thing or 'wait for the perfect moment where you're sure she'll say yes'.  Just ask, if she says yes, good for you, if she says no, she's not interested for one reason or another and you can move on with life.  Cause that's all that asking someone else out should be.  What happens AFTER you start going out, that can be a lot more interesting and complicated, but just asking someone else that's easy.

[TheGeeker]

1 minute ago, Teddy07 said:

lol another one of these threads. Wtf is going on? This infestation just started recently.

That time of season maybe? Anyways I would do it as if you don't there is no chance of a yes.

[techguy98]

26 minutes ago, TheKDub said:

 

Ask her to homecoming, don't worry about asking her out on a date before hand or anything.

 

 

So should I ask as just "friends" as I think that would be fine but I don't want to stick myself in the friend zone (if its even a thing)

[techguy98]

29 minutes ago, AshleyAshes said:

This.  Don't built into some big thing or 'wait for the perfect moment where you're sure she'll say yes'.  Just ask, if she says yes, good for you, if she says no, she's not interested for one reason or another and you can move on with life.  Cause that's all that asking someone else out should be.  What happens AFTER you start going out, that can be a lot more interesting and complicated, but just asking someone else that's easy.

So should I ask as just friends? I dont even know if thats a thing and thats not reall what I want

[TheKDub]

2 minutes ago, techguy98 said:

So should I ask as just "friends" as I think that would be fine but I don't want to stick myself in the friend zone (if its even a thing)

The friend zone is a thing, however it can be escaped.

Considering your current 'relationship' status with her, I'd say go with asking her as friends for now, there's always the chance that it can change into more than that down the road.

[Alariel]

Ask her. Don't specify "as friends" unless she asks, or you might end up making it seem like you're not really interested but just want someone to go with, that'd be blocking yourself.

[Drak3]

39 minutes ago, TheKDub said:

The friend zone is a thing, however it can be escaped.

You make it sound like the friend zone is an alternative name for a pocket universe where you're constantly being hunted down by Pennywise, Freddy Fazbear + Foxy, a legion of necromorphs, Rick Sanchez of universe C-137, Mr. Diddlez, and Jerry all at the same time.

Ugh, Jerry.

 

When in reality, s/he either values having you in his/her life enough to not want to jeopardize it with a romantic and/or sexual relationship, s/he just isn't in to you, or you're an undateable asshole in his/her eyes but a friendable asshole.

 

The only 'escaping' the friendzone is either stop being their friend, or it was for the first reason and they bite the bullet.

1 hour ago, Teddy07 said:

lol another one of these threads. Wtf is going on? This infestation just started recently.

Somehow us losers somehow have good advice for dating. Whilst Done12Many2 and @ARikozuM are in happy relationships, something tells Drak3 that it isn't quite the storybook bullshit of love at first sight, but more like the story of Shrek.

[TheKDub]

1 minute ago, Drak3 said:

You make it sound like the friend zone is an alternative name for a pocket universe where you're constantly being hunted down by Pennywise, Freddy Fazbear + Foxy, a legion of necromorphs, Rick Sanchez of universe C-137, Mr. Diddlez, and Jerry all at the same time.

Ugh, Jerry.

 

When in reality, s/he either values having you in his/her life enough to not want to jeopardize it with a romantic and/or sexual relationship, s/he just isn't in to you, or you're an undateable asshole in his/her eyes but a friendable asshole.

 

The only 'escaping' the friendzone is either stop being their friend, or it was for the first reason and they bite the bullet.

Or the other possibility is that they don't know you well enough to be willing to commit to a relationship, and would prefer to just remain friends until they've gotten to know you more.

[Drak3]

Just now, TheKDub said:

Or the other possibility is that they don't know you well enough to be willing to commit to a relationship, and would prefer to just remain friends until they've gotten to know you more.

No, that's strangerzoned.

[BuckGup]

1 hour ago, Erik Sieghart said:

Ignore girls, acquire good grades.

Accept girls, learn to balance your life and develop vital social skills for your future life and not be an anti social hermit

[dalekphalm]

1 hour ago, techguy98 said:

So should I ask as just "friends" as I think that would be fine but I don't want to stick myself in the friend zone (if its even a thing)

No.

 

Ask her to "homecoming", and leave it at that. If she wants to "friendzone" you, she will. Specifying the date as "just as friends" is only going to handicap you.

 

You want her to know that you're into her.

 

If she likes you back or finds you interesting enough to accept, you and her can work on getting to know each other. If you start dating, you'll start to learn about each other.

[BlueChinchillaEatingDorito]

Don't listen to me. I guess bae and I are just weird.

[dalekphalm]

1 minute ago, BlueChinchillaEatingDorito said:

Make it just seem like you're hanging out and nothing more. 

I would find that bad advice.

 

Why? Because then she has no idea of what you want. Your desires or expectations.

 

She could 100% just misinterpret the OP's interest as just that of a friend, rather than someone who is romantically interested.

 

Sure you can transition from one to the other, but why be deceptive? Let the girl know that you're into her. Otherwise it's just mind games in the end.

[Guest]

Just ask. Life's too long to let these thing rattle in your brain.

[Monte_Carlo]

On 9/25/2017 at 6:54 AM, TheKDub said:

If you don't ask, you're saying no to yourself for her.

100% this.  Might as well try, it'll be a certain no if you don't ask her.  

[techguy98]

Update all: Asked and got a yes. 

[Drak3]

You know, for a guy with 0 posts, you do a good bit of talking.

[dizmo]

On 9/24/2017 at 6:09 PM, Erik Sieghart said:

Ignore girls, acquire good grades.

One should also focus on acquiring social skills. Can't all be accountants.

 

 

On 9/26/2017 at 10:27 PM, techguy98 said:

Update all: Asked and got a yes. 

How did you ask her? Just in case this thread pops up in a Google search, it's nice to have a little more information

Also, congrats! Girls like flowers. But don't overdue it. A rose in her favorite color always worked well for me in high school. Doesn't "mean" anything, girls that age really play up the whole "red is for love, pink is for friendship" etc jazz.

Edited September 30, 2017 by wkdpaul
Cleaned up

[Skanky Sylveon]

8 minutes ago, dizmo said:

One should also focus on acquiring social skills. Can't all be accountants.

With some jobs, good social skills is basically a requirement.

[techguy98]

7 minutes ago, dizmo said:

 

How did you ask her? Just in case this thread pops up in a Google search, it's nice to have a little more information

Also, congrats! Girls like flowers. But don't overdue it. A rose in her favorite color always worked well for me in high school. Doesn't "mean" anything, girls that age really play up the whole "red is for love, pink is for friendship" etc jazz.

You are right. I kinda wanted to ask my "own kind" per say as I just kinda feel at home here.

 

Also, we have know each other for a while now so when we were talking I just asked.  

[TheGeeker]

1 minute ago, Cinnabar Sonar said:

With some jobs, good social skills is basically a requirement.

Even to land jobs. You will not ever succeed without good social/ communication skills.