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Need to discreetly kill my wife's laptop

ELSknutson
By ELSknutson
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Drain the battery

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Find a way to throttle it way back so it's unbearably slow then claim the capacitors on the motherboard are blowing and caisibg that, it came from the over heating (hence high fan speed over the last 3 weeks)

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get an OBD-2 reader thing for the car, bring the laptop with you to *read the measurements*. when your outside *Accidentally* put the laptop under the wheel and back up. 

 

lol

 

 

What The best/easiest thing to do is to get the charging brick to short it. That would be the best way to legitimately kill the entire thing.

 

 

edit: if you dont want that 840 pro inside it, I could use one (See sig). PM me :P

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I never thought this would go this far people on this forum is destructive.

Apparently a lot of people simply missed the point and think you actually want to kill the laptop instead of only making her think it's dead. They can be inventive here when it comes to destroying stuff.

Linus Tech Tips : If it ain't broke, break it

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I never thought this would go this far people on this forum is destructive. 

 

I just clicked through literally to say I can't believe this thread's still going. lol  X0D

"I try to put good out into the world...that way I can believe it's out there." --CKN                  “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” --Wayne Dyer            

[Needs Updating] My PC: i5-10600K @TBD / 32GB DDR4 @4000MHz / Z490 AORUS Elite AC / Titan RTX / Samsung 1TB 960 Evo / EVGA SuperNova 850 T2

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Option Number One; Put gun powder on the thermal paste and wait.

Option Number Two; Use dban to completely wipe the hard drive, everything will be completely unrecoverable though so I suggest option one.

Option Number Three; Download from sketchy places until you get a virus, turn firewall and internet security off

Option Number Four; Find out her password and make the first letter of the work not work on the keyboard, easy to do with a keyboard rearranging program.

Option Number Five; Tell her you are fixing it and then slowly mess it up even more.

Option Number Six; Put coal coke on the thermal paste, supa hot fire.

Option Number Seven; Mess with the battery connectors. 

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I can vouch for this,

 

Delete a .DLL file, I did once, on my moms laptop that she was no longer using, and it bricked the damned thing. At least according to the people who worked on it afterwards. According to them, it needed a new HDD and OS after what I deleted, although I've been told that's not possible.

 

*shrug*

Ketchup is better than mustard.

GUI is better than Command Line Interface.

Dubs are better than subs

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I just clicked through literally to say I can't believe this thread's still going. lol  X0D

I am amazed myself but I guess people like to think about ways to distroy stuff. Who knew 

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It works , trust me .

You need to fill the motherboard with water and try to turn it on.

It will short and die.

Be careful not to get shocked tho.

I would have suggested the same thing. 

Although i would suggest why not talk to her upfront,how the techie inside you hates her using such a bad laptop and you want to get her a new powerful one only because you love her.I bet that would work.Say stuff like it makes me feel bad because i have  such a powerful pc but you use such a old and almost defunct laptop.use the emotion card.

When everything else Fails,Crowbar IT. - Half-life

 

Being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily removed the floor under your bed." - Unix for Dummies, 2nd Edition (Found in the .sig of Rob Riggs) 

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Shorting out the motherboard etc is all nice and well, but it proves that y'all haven't properly read the OP.
 

So my goal is to make it seem like the PC is not fixable (which no pc is un-fixable) and would cost more to repair then just getting a new laptop.

That's why I suggested clear tape on the contacts to stop it from getting any power.

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Pull a linus and leave it in the rain. 

ya and we all seen how that turned out. Fail!

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Option Number One; Put gun powder on the thermal paste and wait.

Option Number Two; Use dban to completely wipe the hard drive, everything will be completely unrecoverable though so I suggest option one.

Option Number Three; Download from sketchy places until you get a virus, turn firewall and internet security off

Option Number Four; Find out her password and make the first letter of the work not work on the keyboard, easy to do with a keyboard rearranging program.

Option Number Five; Tell her you are fixing it and then slowly mess it up even more.

Option Number Six; Put coal coke on the thermal paste, supa hot fire.

Option Number Seven; Mess with the battery connectors. 

 

option 1 seems dangerous and I dont feel like burning down my house

option 2 would work but she would just make me reinstall windows

option 3 same as 2

option 4 same as 3 and 2

option 5 is the whole thread on this subject

option 6 with is Coal Coke and who has that laying around

option 7 not a terrible idea .

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...

 

X0D

 

Dude, seriously, what have you done...this thread's going to run forever (it's rated "Hot")
 
This thread's going to get so big that you're wife is actually going to see it. X0D
 
Seriously...just this...this...
 

"I try to put good out into the world...that way I can believe it's out there." --CKN                  “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” --Wayne Dyer            

[Needs Updating] My PC: i5-10600K @TBD / 32GB DDR4 @4000MHz / Z490 AORUS Elite AC / Titan RTX / Samsung 1TB 960 Evo / EVGA SuperNova 850 T2

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X0D

 

Dude, seriously, what have you done...this thread's going to run forever (it's rated "Hot")
 
This thread's going to get so big that you're wife is actually going to see it. X0D
 
Seriously...just this...this...

 

I guess that breaking stuff is the way to go Lowis from Unboxed Therapy it seems to be working for him with the Bend Gate so why not =)

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I guess that breaking stuff is the way to go Lowis from Unboxed Therapy it seems to be working for him with the Bend Gate so why not =)

 

I was kind of joking? but seriously... 

 

You're asking why not?

 

How about...

 

Because it's not yours, it's hers and she's obviously attached to it. Why can't you just let her keep it? Why do you have to break it?  :(

"I try to put good out into the world...that way I can believe it's out there." --CKN                  “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” --Wayne Dyer            

[Needs Updating] My PC: i5-10600K @TBD / 32GB DDR4 @4000MHz / Z490 AORUS Elite AC / Titan RTX / Samsung 1TB 960 Evo / EVGA SuperNova 850 T2

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I was kind of joking? but seriously... 

 

You're asking why not?

 

How about...

 

Because it's not yours, it's hers and she's obviously attached to it. Why can't you just let her keep it? Why do you have to break it?

I could but It bugs the crap out of me. She uses it every day and its so bad  the wirless card is going out so i constantly have to keep restarting the pc to get it to work, The screen is blotchy, the num pad the 2 and 8 does not work, hdmi port doesnt work, and its not fast enough for what she uses it for. 

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I could but It bugs the crap out of me. She uses it every day and its so bad  the wirless card is going out so i constantly have to keep restarting the pc to get it to work, The screen is blotchy, the num pad the 2 and 8 does not work, hdmi port doesnt work, and its not fast enough for what she uses it for. 

 

Again...you make a good point.  :wacko:

 

Personally, if it were me I'd just replace the wireless card and let her keep using it, if that's what she wants.

 

But seriously, truly...just buy her a new one, and let her migrate at her own speed. :shrug:

"I try to put good out into the world...that way I can believe it's out there." --CKN                  “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” --Wayne Dyer            

[Needs Updating] My PC: i5-10600K @TBD / 32GB DDR4 @4000MHz / Z490 AORUS Elite AC / Titan RTX / Samsung 1TB 960 Evo / EVGA SuperNova 850 T2

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SSD, Core i3 and a decent amount of RAM. So long as it works I'd keep it.

 

If it is getting a little sluggish then maybe reinstall.

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SSD, Core i3 and a decent amount of RAM. So long as it works I'd keep it.

 

If it is getting a little sluggish then maybe reinstall.

you missed this 

, The screen is blotchy, the num pad the 2 and 8 does not work, hdmi port doesnt work, and its not fast enough for what she uses it for. 

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