Can you guys give me some advice about teen years?

[ManosMax13]

This isnt really meant for this forum but since its my favourite and I trust the people here I will say it anyway. I am mid-teens and I live in Greece,Europe and Im in the first grade of highschool.

My problem is that I cant make friends easily. I have like 5 friends that we are talking daily as a result of school and other lessons and 2 best friends that ive known the 1st close to 8 years and then second 4.

 

My 5 friends have each their best friends so we dont hang out together so I only  talk outside of school with my 2 best friends. I want to live a happy life so I would like to be able to do many things like trips with friends and such or late night bars(not drinking),gaming and lots of other activities. I have found out over the years that my 2 best friends are not enough for me and that I want to be in a big circle and be able to live nice teen years. I feel so different tho,for example,i dont like the character and the behavior of most of my peers and most of them arent really interesting to talk to.I have what I consider to be many hobbies such as technology and pc knowledge being a gamer,loving wildlife especially reptiles( I have a dog and a boa as pets and watch lots of documentaries) and loving music as well as playing the drums. 80-90% of my class dislikes me and doesnt want to spend time with me. Most of them just play or know a lot about sports and netflix of which I hate both. What I hate most is that girls tend to approach boys that I hate to talk to and would not like to be my friend and only approach my friends when they "change" their character to a point that if they were like that infront of me and not just girls I wouldnt want them to be my friends. What can I do to expant my friends circle and enjoy these years with friends as I have been feeling lonely for the past 2 years or so.

 

 

Thanks a lot,

Manos

Edited March 20, 2020 by LogicalDrm
Personal details removed

[Eschew]

I can give you my perspective and things that I think are good ideas, I'm not sure if it counts as "teen advice":

• Be confident, do not be arrogant.
• Think positively, act positively, and positivity will follow.
• The quality of friends matters more than the quantity of friends you make.
• Consider including your real-life group of friends in your hobbies/music interests.
• Ever watch Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood? Relationships are like equivalent exchange, if you expect something from someone, be prepared to give him or her something of equal value (effort, attention, sympathy, etc.).
• Remember that the world doesn't revolve around you. If something doesn't go your way, laugh and move on.
• If you're interested in going out with someone, get to know his or her friends as well. A stable friend group makes for a stable relationship.

[SansVarnic]

I had 1-5 friends growing up. I'm 38 now and still only have about 1-5 friends at any given time. I can tell you that how many you have changes nothing.

I lived a happy life and turned out pretty well, I now have a wife and 5 children.

 

How you chose to interact with people is pretty basic... its up to you and what you want want, not what others want of you.

[ManosMax13]

6 minutes ago, SansVarnic said:

I had 1-5 friends growing up. I'm 38 now and still only have about 1-5 friends at any given time. I can tell you that how many you have changes nothing.

I lived a happy life and turned out pretty well, I now have a wife and 5 children.

 

How you chose to interact with people is pretty basic... its up to you and what you want want, not what others want of you.

What if those friends are not enough for you and I dont have 5 friends to spend time with I have 2.

[PurplDrank]

On 3/17/2020 at 2:11 AM, ManosMax13 said:

 

High school is alot like socialism for beginners. Atleast here in the United States high school prepares you for expensive 4 year universities but does not prepare you for real life. I'd say take the time to teach yourself personal finance, budgeting, marketing if you want to own your own business one day, learn the basics of supply chain management...those are just a few. Even teach yourself how to make basic healthy meals. You can learn all this on youtube but developing those skills young will prepare you for real life. 

 

I would even try and find an apprenticeship for the trades while in high school. If you do not use the trades as a career it is useful to have if you ever need to fix something. 

Edited March 20, 2020 by LogicalDrm

[lewdicrous]

15 hours ago, ManosMax13 said:

What if those friends are not enough for you and I dont have 5 friends to spend time with I have 2.

The number of friends you have is not all that important, it's how you treat each other that's more important.

The number of people you call 'friends' will change over time, connections are formed and connections are lost.

15 hours ago, ManosMax13 said:

I want to live a happy life

Happiness does not come from the number of friends that you have; in my early teen years, I had 10-20 friends at a time, but I was very miserable, the number of people I call my friends now can be counted on one hand, but I'm happier than ever.

15 hours ago, ManosMax13 said:

I have found out over the years that my 2 best friends are not enough for me and that I want to be in a big circle and be able to live nice teen years.

A bigger circle doesn't give you a nicer life.

15 hours ago, ManosMax13 said:

What I hate most is that girls tend to approach boys that I hate to talk to and would not like to be my friend and only approach my friends when they "change" their character to a point that if they were like that infront of me and not just girls I wouldnt want them to be my friends.

This way of thinking is really toxic, imo.

 

 

Reading through your post, it seems that the lack of friends is not the real issue here; it looks to me like you're trying to fill a void, but you're going at it with the wrong mindset.

[SansVarnic]

On 3/16/2020 at 7:34 PM, ManosMax13 said:

What if those friends are not enough for you and I dont have 5 friends to spend time with I have 2.

That's a pretty loaded question. None of my friends live less than hour away from my location and they are what I need them to be for me.

 

As I said;

On 3/16/2020 at 7:27 PM, SansVarnic said:

How you chose to interact with people is pretty basic... its up to you and what you want want, not what others want of you.

 

[ManosMax13]

On 3/17/2020 at 5:45 PM, lewdicrous said:

The number of friends you have is not all that important, it's how you treat each other that's more important.

The number of people you call 'friends' will change over time, connections are formed and connections are lost.

Happiness does not come from the number of friends that you have; in my early teen years, I had 10-20 friends at a time, but I was very miserable, the number of people I call my friends now can be counted on one hand, but I'm happier than ever.

A bigger circle doesn't give you a nicer life.

This way of thinking is really toxic, imo.

 

 

Reading through your post, it seems that the lack of friends is not the real issue here; it looks to me like you're trying to fill a void, but you're going at it with the wrong mindset.

Well ive read and heard so many stories about partys and having fun going to trips or holidays together with friends and with the friends I have now I am not able to do these things. I dont want to grow and then be too late and miss my teen years. I already miss my child years. Thats what im trying to avoid. I dont want to be like some people who are miserable adults because they didnt have fun as teens. I want to do so much like go hunting fishing trips holidays have partys learn about new things from people that I meet. How can I do such things if I have only 2 friends which for the most part are unable to fill that need or void of mine?

[Eschew]

2 hours ago, ManosMax13 said:

I want to do so much like go hunting fishing trips holidays have partys learn about new things from people that I meet.

After-school activities are a good way to meet people with similar interests to your own, and to bond over learning experiences. If your school doesn't offer the activities you're interested in, perhaps talk to your parents/guardian(s) and see whether they would consider planning a family trip with friends and other relatives.

 

Also, what do you mean by "party"? I don't want to push irrelevant info on you if my assumptions are incorrect, and I hope your expectations of high school life aren't solely based on fiction, social media, and/or advertisements.

[Daniel-J]

In fact, no one can give you the right advice, we're all children, even old people over 60. We give advice based on our ethics and experience. So I'll tell you about my experience, and you draw conclusions.

 

I had few friends since childhood, some of their parents were friends with mine. At some point, we all changed for different reasons. Some of us thought of someone as our brother, and we even shared a wheelchair when we were little. The result is the same for everyone, we found other interests, companies, and ways to spend our leisure time. It separated us and we no longer see each other or communicate.

 

I was sad to think about it once, but eventually I realized it was normal. Even this planet where you and I live is changing. Communicate with those you like and do what you like, the main thing is not to hurt anyone

 

Finding friends is easier than you think, you can do it in forums or apps, in groups, in your hands the Internet, it is a strong thing, do not forget.

[ManosMax13]

11 hours ago, Eschew said:

After-school activities are a good way to meet people with similar interests to your own, and to bond over learning experiences. If your school doesn't offer the activities you're interested in, perhaps talk to your parents/guardian(s) and see whether they would consider planning a family trip with friends and other relatives.

 

Also, what do you mean by "party"? I don't want to push irrelevant info on you if my assumptions are incorrect, and I hope your expectations of high school life aren't solely based on fiction, social media, and/or advertisements.

Thats the problem my parents want to organise something like a fishing trip and such but my friends dont want to come. Also just normal parties,I havent been in a party with more than 5 people invited since 4 years ago.

[NineEyeRon]

Make memories

 

Stay alive (Dont take stupid risks)

 

Dont rush things, especially relationships in their early days.

 

don't be jealous

 

Never forget your teen years, they are some wonder memories when you look back at them when you are older.

[Mooshi]

Here's some reality from someone who is old as dust (like papa Linus) -- nothing in your teen years matters.

 

Majority of relationships from this age are practice runs. Friends move on, you'd be lucky to be in contact with all of them. People also physically move, it's life. Any embarrassing moment, depressed thought, anxiety over School drama etc etc. Literally none of that matters when you're into adulthood.

 

Best advice is do you. Focus on the fun stuff over anything that seems like a big deal right now.

 

[Guest]

Step 1:
Don't abandon your existing friends.

Step 2:

Meet new people at your school (if still running classes)

Step 3:
Create YouTube channel & don't do anything stupid online.

Step 4:
Don't stress. Live in the moment, but think of the future.

bing bang boom. Done.

[merco]

On 3/18/2020 at 11:45 PM, ManosMax13 said:

go hunting fishing trips holidays have partys learn about new things from people that I meet

You can do these things in your 20s, you will have much better opportunities then because you start to be independent, get your own money. Maybe get a summer job or something so you know what it is like. Meanwhile if you meet a girl that laughs at your jokes, try to date her. Like others said earlier, be honest be sincere, that way you might make meaningful connections. That's a lot better than hanging with the party crowd and drinking and smoking your life away.