How Do I Tell My Parent Why I Need To Upgrade

[dgsddfgdfhgs]

you simply "break something", by not fully plug in

[LAwLz]

Okay, so the situations is this:

 

• You're a 13 year old kid who has saved up money for some computer parts.
• You have now ordered a new CPU (and I assume motherboard and RAM) but you're worried that your stepdad is going to question you why you spent your money on it.
• The reason why you ordered these parts is because you want a faster computer, so now you want us to come up with arguments that you can use against your stepdad

 

Correct?

Here is what I think, and how I would address some points raised in this thread.

 

Quote

It's your money so you can spend it however you want.

No, that's not true. At least it wouldn't be true in my family. As long as you live at home, and your parents are your guardians and caregivers, you have to follow what they say, even if they say "you can't spend money on this". If they tell you "you are not allowed to buy this" then it doesn't matter where your money came from. Their words are the rules until the day you move out and no longer rely on them.

Same goes for computer time, drinking alcohol, etc. Just because it's "your computer" that you bought with "your money" doesn't mean you can do whatever you want with it, like ignore school to play games. Right? This is not directed at you @AntDeGamer by the way, it's directed at everyone going "it's your money so you can do whatever you want!".

 

 

Quote

Show him the benefits of games

Please don't. That's the cringiest thing ever. Yes, there are some positive things to playing video games. There are also some positive things to drinking alcohol, but we don't use that argument to encourage OP to start drinking beer right?

Focusing on the positive aspects of gaming and ignoring the negative aspects does not work. Any parent with a half functioning brain will see right through that crap, especially if it's coming from a 13 year old.

 

 

Quote

You stepdad sounds like an ass

Remember that this is just one side of the story and it's coming from a 13 year old who is mad. Ask any teenager and they will probably give you plenty of stories about how their parents are "the worst" and how mean they are. For crying out loud one of the "mean" things OP's stepdad has done is not liking parkour because it might be dangerous. That's not something a "mean" parent would do. A mean and bad parent would not give a shit.

 

 

 

Here is what I would have done:

1) Tell them what you're buying before ordering it. This builds trust, which means your parents won't question you as much in the future.

2) Learn to make some better arguments than:

On 12/22/2019 at 2:41 AM, AntDeGamer said:

improve the speed cuz rn it terrible and 2 get better performance on games

On 12/22/2019 at 3:24 AM, AntDeGamer said:

The reasons i need this upgrade is;

Better speed

Video recording

I code so need a fast machine to do that

Game

And do school projects next year.

Pretty sure your GT 710 has NVENC support. That should allow you to record without putting any extra stress on the CPU or GPU.

You don't need a fast machine to code on. In fact I'd say your core 2 duo is very overkill for basic python scripting.

What kind of school projects needs an 2600X?

 

I got through college with a Core 2 Duo laptop. Pretty sure you can get through middle school with it too.

[wasab]

3 hours ago, LAwLz said:

Snip

Also the fact that I wouldn't trust a 13,14,15 or whatever to build a computer. I would just get a prebuilt. 

[SpookyCitrus]

On 12/21/2019 at 6:56 PM, AntDeGamer said:

The 3 parts im getting are all bought by my christmas money which i get every year. Im not begging for money or anything else and no one is arguing about it. The Problem is that my step dad (not my mum or anyone else) doesnt like what im gettin for christmas and he doesnt understand a lot about tech and then he be questioning me "so how are you gonna connect every piece?" 

I don't know how old you are but if it's YOUR Christmas money and that's what YOU want to buy, who gives a crap what your step dad says, if your mom says it's ok and they didn't say no and just want to know why, tell them. If he pressures you about it, just tell him the truth that your PC can't do what you want it to so you're upgrading it and making run better, sounds like he's just interested in what you're doing. If he is really being a jerk about it or just trying to get under your skin ignore him. Or my favorite, play the you wouldn't get it card. Every time he asks about it just say "You wouldn't get it." or "It's to hard to explain.".

[Arika]

43 minutes ago, SpookyCitrus said:

I don't know how old you are but if it's YOUR Christmas money and that's what YOU want to buy, who gives a crap what your step dad says. If he pressures you about it, just tell him the truth that your PC can't do what you want it to so you're upgrading it and making run better, sounds like he's just interested in what you're doing. If he is really being a jerk about it or just trying to get under your skin ignore him. Or my favorite, play the you wouldn't get it card. Every time he asks about it just say "You wouldn't get it." or "It's to hard to explain.".

Sounds like a great way to get grounded and have the computer taken away.

 

If I had a child, I told them not to do something and they did anyway, my reaction would not be " oh well, its your money"

[SpookyCitrus]

Just now, Arika S said:

Sounds like a great way to get grounded and have the computer taken away.

 

If I had a child, I told them not to do something and they did anyway, my reaction would not be " oh well, its your money"

If you read what OP said, their stepdad did not say they can't do it, just that they don't see why they need to.

[wasab]

35 minutes ago, Arika S said:

Sounds like a great way to get grounded and have the computer taken away.

 

If I had a child, I told them not to do something and they did anyway, my reaction would not be " oh well, its your money"

My parents would just "ungive" me the Christmas money. 

[NumLock21]

According to OP's profile, this is his current PC specs

• Intel Core 2 Duo
• 4GB DDR2
• 500GB HDD
• GT710 GPU
• Case
• Unknown PSU
• Win10
• Peripherals and monitor

OP's original post

Quote

So Right, I Already Got Mine Amd Ryzen 5 2600x However I Know that my step dad will start questioning me why i need new parts and that it better to buy a new pc. He's Very Dumb about tech as he thinks runnin intel core 2 duo with 4gb ram is a good idea in 2019 and it hard to argue with him because he thinks he is right. so right how do i explain to him why i am wasting money for an upgrade?

OP has already purchased a AMD Ryzen 5 2600X and need to get rest of the parts for his upgrade.
His step dad, thinks why get new parts for upgrade when it's better off to just buy a whole new computer

OP states his step dad is very dumb and thinks Core 2 Duo is still relevant in 2019.

OP need a way to convince his step dad that it's better to upgrade rather than getting a brand new PC.

 

As I was typing that, I think I see why OP step dad suggested to buy a new PC. From his step dad's perspective, upgrading according to him means, it's still the same old computer, even thought the CPU is brand new and modern, it doesn't matter to him. To him new means everything including the case. That's why he sees upgrading as a total waste of money.

 

In conclusion, OP should have listen to his step dad and just went with a brand new PC.

 

[RonnieOP]

21 hours ago, AngryBeaver said:

If my kid did that they would have a nice long break between PCs. Coming to me about it is one thing, trying to manipulate it so you think I don't have a choice? Not sure you will like the outcome.

No shit.

 

If my kids tried pulling something like that I would let them spend their money on the new parts and when they arrived id locked them up for a good while.

 

 

[Bombastinator]

He apparently has memory and a mobo online too.  The big worries I have is he is planning to reuse some stuff.  Namely the PSU (eek) and the GPU.

[NumLock21]

1 minute ago, Bombastinator said:

He apparently has memory and a mobo online too.  The big worries I have is he is planning to reuse some stuff.  Namely the PSU (eek) and the GPU.

All I see OP saying is he already has the CPU, did said he has already ordered the memory and mobo

[LAwLz]

23 hours ago, AngryBeaver said:

If my kid did that they would have a nice long break between PCs. Coming to me about it is one thing, trying to manipulate it so you think I don't have a choice? Not sure you will like the outcome.

Yeah mine too. Especially since it's so obvious what they are trying to do.

"Oh your computer mysteriously broke? Damn... I guess that means you won't have a working computer from now on. You can borrow mine if you need it for school".

 

 

 

3 hours ago, wasab said:

My parents would just "ungive" me the Christmas money. 

Yeah I would probably do that too.

Buying something I told you not to buy with the money I gave you? Then I am taking that money back and lose trust in you. When you're 13 "your money" isn't really your money in the same sense that "your room" isn't actually a room you own. It is something I as a parent has given you slightly more control over but that I can take back whenever I want.

 

Wanna know why kids end up in situations like this where they have to explain to their parents what they are doing and why? Because their parents don't trust them. Wanna know how to make your parents trust you even less? Go behind their backs, do things they've told you not to do, and be a smug little prick that goes "you wouldn't get it" when asked questions.

[dalekphalm]

On 12/21/2019 at 8:21 PM, AntDeGamer said:

So Right, I Already Got Mine Amd Ryzen 5 2600x However I Know that my step dad will start questioning me why i need new parts and that it better to buy a new pc. He's Very Dumb about tech as he thinks runnin intel core 2 duo with 4gb ram is a good idea in 2019 and it hard to argue with him because he thinks he is right. so right how do i explain to him why i am wasting money for an upgrade?

1.

You're 13 years old? Please learn how to type a bit better. It's really difficult to follow what you're talking about - apologies if English is not your first language.

 

2.

What's your full parts/specs list for your current build?

 

3.

What parts do you wish to upgrade?

 

You've mentioned you already have a Ryzen 2600 and that you need to upgrade the CPU for coding, so that's already basically a waste of money to upgrade. We need to know more to help.

[Bombastinator]

I don’t think the OP has posted since Saturday evening.

[dalekphalm]

1 minute ago, Bombastinator said:

I don’t think the OP has posted since Saturday evening.

Might have had his computer taken away (jk... well... maybe anyway)

[Bombastinator]

Just now, dalekphalm said:

Might have had his computer taken away (jk... well... maybe anyway)

I think I went too far suggesting to him ideas on how to how to make friends with his stepdad.

 

I just feel bad I didn’t do it earlier with my stepmom.  Lot of wasted time and feelings.

[Mantabase]

On 12/21/2019 at 5:21 PM, AntDeGamer said:

So Right, I Already Got Mine Amd Ryzen 5 2600x However I Know that my step dad will start questioning me why i need new parts and that it better to buy a new pc. He's Very Dumb about tech as he thinks runnin intel core 2 duo with 4gb ram is a good idea in 2019 and it hard to argue with him because he thinks he is right. so right how do i explain to him why i am wasting money for an upgrade?

Actually, he sounds pretty smart about tech.  He knows core 2 duo with 4gb cost a heck of a lot less than your probable upgrades.  He knows you spend too much time indoors.  He knows (and cares) that parkour is dangerous.  He cares about you.  I also suspect some of your money originates from him maybe?

 

I'm a father.  Let me ask a few questions.  Have you ever built a PC before?  Sounds like you are ready, or almost ready.  But have you done it?  If so, are you using your own build?  Will others use this computer?  Is it a family computer you are upgrading?  Answer a few questions and I might be able to tell you how to convince a father.  Maybe even your step-father.

 

 

[biggieweeb]

On 12/22/2019 at 5:02 AM, AntDeGamer said:

Im gettin new cpu which i already have that why i said 1 but im ordering 8gb ram and motherboard. It because my priority is to speed up my pc and i only play csgo so 30fps is ok for me.so no gpu.

 

Also me having a stepdad is like emm hating each other sometimes

Ok why tf did you not get an r5 2400g then, it is cheaper and performs better without a gpu.

And let me tell you this. The r5 2600x does not have integrated graphics, so when you fire up your brand new rig its going to tell you it has no gpu in it and then your dad is going to get mad and think you wasted your money

[Bombastinator]

5 minutes ago, biggieweeb said:

Ok why tf did you not get an r5 2400g then, it is cheaper and performs better without a gpu.

And let me tell you this. The r5 2600x does not have integrated graphics, so when you fire up your brand new rig its going to tell you it has no gpu in it and then your dad is going to get mad and think you wasted your money

He’s got some 730 or something from the old rig to put in it that is ridiculously old but will still toast a 2400g.  I thought about making this argument.  The OP is long gone though I think.

[biggieweeb]

1 minute ago, Bombastinator said:

He’s got some 730 or something from the old rig to put in it that is ridiculously old but will still toast a 2400g.  I thought about making this argument.  The OP is long gone though I think.

If it is a gt730, that is terrible. It will not toast the 2400g and also the 730 is known to be worse than even intel hd 630 graphics, let alone the vega 11 of the r5 2400g, but it is still going to be a ridiculous pairing with an r5 2600x and a gt730.

[LAwLz]

6 hours ago, Bombastinator said:

He’s got some 730 or something from the old rig to put in it that is ridiculously old but will still toast a 2400g.  I thought about making this argument.  The OP is long gone though I think.

6 hours ago, biggieweeb said:

If it is a gt730, that is terrible. It will not toast the 2400g and also the 730 is known to be worse than even intel hd 630 graphics, let alone the vega 11 of the r5 2400g, but it is still going to be a ridiculous pairing with an r5 2600x and a gt730.

It's hard to find direct comparisons so I've had to extrapolate some data which might make this inaccurate, but...

From what I can tell the Vega 11 in the 2400G sits somewhere between a GT 1030 and RX 550 in terms of performance. That would make it slightly slower than a GTX 750 Ti.

 

The GTX 750 Ti is about 4 times as fast as a GT 730.

So conservatively, I'd say a 2400G would have somewhere between 2-3 times as high performance as his current GT 730.

[trevb0t]

On 12/21/2019 at 6:41 PM, AntDeGamer said:

The upgrade is to improve the speed cuz rn it terrible and 2 get better performance on games. I already tried to explain to him about why i need thjs upgrade but sometimes he just doesnt listen or doubts. For example tommorow hes gonna see what arrived and then question me why i got it.

What kind of upgrades are we even talking about? A 2600X is pretty solid in gaming. Are you talking about replacing it, or getting other parts?

[NumLock21]

On 12/25/2019 at 10:07 AM, trevb0t said:

What kind of upgrades are we even talking about? A 2600X is pretty solid in gaming. Are you talking about replacing it, or getting other parts?

OP has a potato PC. He went out and got a AMD 2600X, now he just needs a way to convince his step dad, that he is not wasting money on getting the rest of the parts, like the motherboard and ram. His step dad said it's better just to buy a whole new computer rather than upgrade, but OP think his step dad is dumb, and doesn't get it.

 

OP's current PC is

Intel Core 2 Duo, with 4GB DDR2, regular HDD, GT 710 GPU, case w/unknown PSU, and Win10.

[Bombastinator]

1 minute ago, Erik Sieghart said:

This is the only part we really need to know. This isn't about your PC being slow; it's really about acceptable boundaries between two people. The moment you begin speaking about the specifics about what you're going to spend your money on, the moment you've already lost and conceded to unreasonable demands.

 

What you spend your money is is your business and not your parents, regardless of how entitled they may feel to controlling your decisions. This is how property works. If someone gives you something then it then becomes your property to do with as you wish. This is especially true of money and some people have a hard time accepting that just because they gave someone else something means they also gave up any say in what happens to it.

 

"Here's some money to make you happy Merry Christmas! But uhhh, don't use it to make yourself happy." is the dialog that is currently going on. Why give you money to enjoy and then attempt prevent you from spending it on something to enjoy? This is a pretty serious contradiction that illuminates some pretty serious problems. If he wanted you to invest the money into stocks and let it grow then why not just do that on your behalf and simply tell you on Christmas.

 

You need to correct your relationship boundaries. The first step of this is having the agency to do what you wish with your property. It's not like they can stop you. If this escalates the issue then it just goes to show how bad your dad's problem is and how badly it needs to be corrected.

Goes to OP age and all sorts of other things.  
 

Mother and father are apparently not involved at least in this issue.  Parent in question is a stepdad which makes things yet more vague.  In any case the discussion seems to be entirely theoretical at this point as the OP has not commented in a long time.

[trevb0t]

16 minutes ago, NumLock21 said:

OP has a potato PC. He went out and got a AMD 2600X, now he just needs a way to convince his step dad, that he is not wasting money on getting the rest of the parts, like the motherboard and ram. His step dad said it's better just to buy a whole new computer rather than upgrade, but OP think his step dad is dumb, and doesn't get it.

 

OP's current PC is

Intel Core 2 Duo, with 4GB DDR2, regular HDD, GT 710 GPU, case w/unknown PSU, and Win10.

That's a tough situation.

As a parent (and a step parent) I understand questioning what my child is spending money on in large amounts. I would go over the purchase with them and do research to help them find the best way to do so. 

I also plan to build a PC with my daughter soon, so obviously the interests are different here.

 

If the OP could sit down and show him the plan, the budget, the performance one could expect within the parameters, etc. then perhaps step-dad will be more understanding about the spending. Also showing him where the current PC is struggling could help. I think that it is important in this way to come prepared with research and argue a reasonable, clear headed case.

OP could point out rather than saying it's "easy" to build a PC nowadays (which it is.) That the OP has done his research and has well made guides in place. That building the PC himself will be a challenging project which will allow him to learn how his PC works as he uses it. He could even invite the step-dad to build with him as a bonding type project.

 

If the step-father is convinced that a prebuilt is the only way to go, there are a number of companies that build using most of the same parts you'd like to see in a gaming PC. You don't have to buy an HP or Dell necessarily. Obviously I'm a big supporter of building yourself, but if needed something like ibuypower it might not be a bad option.