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[Mini-News] Nintendo new VP of Sales: Bowser (really)

GoodBytes
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dougBowser.0.0.jpg

Doug Bowser is his name, and yes, that's real, and no he didn't change his name.

He worked for 7 years for Electronic Arts before joining Nintendo.

Nintendo says:

Bowser is an outstanding addition to our Nintendo team, as he brings a deep blend of both consumer package goods and video game sales experience. I know he will work tirelessly with our internal and external partners to ensure the broad Nintendo product lineup of hardware, software and accessories are strongly represented throughout U.S. retail points of distribution.

So, if you want a job at Nintendo, you need to have a Nintendo character name, it looks like.

Source: http://www.polygon.com/2015/5/20/8629387/nintendo-makes-the-perfect-hire

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There's a Pokemon villain named Giovanni. My name is Giovanni.

I think I know my destiny

"We're all in this together, might as well be friends" Tom, Toonami.

 

mini eLiXiVy: my open source 65% mechanical PCB, a build log, PCB anatomy and discussing open source licenses: https://linustechtips.com/topic/1366493-elixivy-a-65-mechanical-keyboard-build-log-pcb-anatomy-and-how-i-open-sourced-this-project/

 

mini_cardboard: a 4% keyboard build log and how keyboards work: https://linustechtips.com/topic/1328547-mini_cardboard-a-4-keyboard-build-log-and-how-keyboards-work/

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Why is everyone ignoring the fact that he's from EA?! This could mean him suggesting Nintendo to sell more DLC, leading Nintendo's games being a nightmare in this respect.

MSI GT70 2OC- CPU: Intel i7 4700MQ @2.40GHz, Memory: 16GB DDR3, GPU: Nvidia GTX 770m, SSD: Adata SP600 256GB, HDD: HGST Travelstar 7k1000 1TB

[spoiler=The Story of Lord Gaben(Warning:Lots of reading or use the audio link)]"Once upon a time there was a young man called ancient Lord Gaben Newell. The young man saw that the gamers of this world were in need of protection, and so he begun a quest to better the PC gaming world for all of us. On his first day, Gabe created the half life, a wonderful game made by a wonderful lord. The peasants cried. "Why do you cry, little peasant?" the lord bequeathed. "The nearest store to my house is too far Gaben, please find us a way to get the games without the trek." said the peasant. And so on his second day, Gabe created the steam, at first the peasants hated this shit, but at least the games could downloaded rather than venturing into the cold world, and purchased. Gabe was happy, but when he looked at the peasants, they cried. "Why do you cry little peasant?" the lord bequeathed. "We need more games Prince Gaben, please convince the other knights of gaming to join your cause." said the peasant. And so on his third say, Gabe invented more games, dozens, hundreds, thousands of publishers. More games than a person could play in a lifetime. But the peasants still cried. "Why do you cry little peasant?" The lord bequeathed. "There are too many games and we are too poor, Baron Von Gaben, we need more affordable options for gaming." said the peasant. And so on the fourth day, Gabe invented sales, a wondrous new invention, never done anywhere, in which you buy something for like five bucks. In fact, sometimes, it's like two bucks or three bucks, it's pretty crazy. But oh how the peasants did cry. "Why do you cry little peasant? The lord bequeathed."We are still so poor, Count Gaben, we need games that are free. Games that can let anyone into their world, without costing them a penny." said the peasant. And so on his fifth Gabe invented Free to Play, a dangerous yet monumental idea, that he saw some Koreans do, and figured "Eh What the hell, fuckin eh, we're America, ain't nobody gonna have the best free games, but us." That would allow gamers to play for free. This time Gabe was sure the peasants were happy. He not only created a form DRM peasants wouldn't give a shit about, but also a service, that no other knight in the land could stand against. But when Gabe looked at the peasants, when Gabe looked at the peasants, they were no longer poor, they were fat and greedy. They called themselves glorious, and made fun of all the other peasant gamers of this world because their lord had treated them so well. Gabe met with these people to see if they were in fact happy, but they weren't. "Where is Half Life 3? It's been too long. What have you been doing? Taking mods and turning them into games? Pushing sales for money? FUUUCKK YOOUU GABE!!" Gabe cried a single tear. "I can't give you games that are no finished peasants." said the Lord. "WHY NOT?" yelled the peasants. "Give us the Games that are not finished. MORE. MORE. MORE." yelled the peasants. A thunderbolt struck, and Gabe went home to sleep. Gabe new that tomorrow, would not just be the sixth day, it would be the last day. And so on his sixth and final day, Gabe invented EARLY ACESSSSS!! I FUCKING HATE EARLY ACESS!!!!" 

-Bruce Willakers Source and Audio Version

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Why is everyone ignoring the fact that he's from EA?! This could mean him suggesting Nintendo to sell more DLC, leading Nintendo's games being a nightmare in this respect.

 Because regardless of what you and other conspiracy theorists might believe, working at EA doesn't make someone inherently evil.

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Because regardless of what you and other conspiracy theorists might believe, working at EA doesn't make someone inherently evil.

Ya, but he was the VP of Global Business planning which means he was probably involved in EA's business choices of selling lots of DLC and micro-transactions.

MSI GT70 2OC- CPU: Intel i7 4700MQ @2.40GHz, Memory: 16GB DDR3, GPU: Nvidia GTX 770m, SSD: Adata SP600 256GB, HDD: HGST Travelstar 7k1000 1TB

[spoiler=The Story of Lord Gaben(Warning:Lots of reading or use the audio link)]"Once upon a time there was a young man called ancient Lord Gaben Newell. The young man saw that the gamers of this world were in need of protection, and so he begun a quest to better the PC gaming world for all of us. On his first day, Gabe created the half life, a wonderful game made by a wonderful lord. The peasants cried. "Why do you cry, little peasant?" the lord bequeathed. "The nearest store to my house is too far Gaben, please find us a way to get the games without the trek." said the peasant. And so on his second day, Gabe created the steam, at first the peasants hated this shit, but at least the games could downloaded rather than venturing into the cold world, and purchased. Gabe was happy, but when he looked at the peasants, they cried. "Why do you cry little peasant?" the lord bequeathed. "We need more games Prince Gaben, please convince the other knights of gaming to join your cause." said the peasant. And so on his third say, Gabe invented more games, dozens, hundreds, thousands of publishers. More games than a person could play in a lifetime. But the peasants still cried. "Why do you cry little peasant?" The lord bequeathed. "There are too many games and we are too poor, Baron Von Gaben, we need more affordable options for gaming." said the peasant. And so on the fourth day, Gabe invented sales, a wondrous new invention, never done anywhere, in which you buy something for like five bucks. In fact, sometimes, it's like two bucks or three bucks, it's pretty crazy. But oh how the peasants did cry. "Why do you cry little peasant? The lord bequeathed."We are still so poor, Count Gaben, we need games that are free. Games that can let anyone into their world, without costing them a penny." said the peasant. And so on his fifth Gabe invented Free to Play, a dangerous yet monumental idea, that he saw some Koreans do, and figured "Eh What the hell, fuckin eh, we're America, ain't nobody gonna have the best free games, but us." That would allow gamers to play for free. This time Gabe was sure the peasants were happy. He not only created a form DRM peasants wouldn't give a shit about, but also a service, that no other knight in the land could stand against. But when Gabe looked at the peasants, when Gabe looked at the peasants, they were no longer poor, they were fat and greedy. They called themselves glorious, and made fun of all the other peasant gamers of this world because their lord had treated them so well. Gabe met with these people to see if they were in fact happy, but they weren't. "Where is Half Life 3? It's been too long. What have you been doing? Taking mods and turning them into games? Pushing sales for money? FUUUCKK YOOUU GABE!!" Gabe cried a single tear. "I can't give you games that are no finished peasants." said the Lord. "WHY NOT?" yelled the peasants. "Give us the Games that are not finished. MORE. MORE. MORE." yelled the peasants. A thunderbolt struck, and Gabe went home to sleep. Gabe new that tomorrow, would not just be the sixth day, it would be the last day. And so on his sixth and final day, Gabe invented EARLY ACESSSSS!! I FUCKING HATE EARLY ACESS!!!!" 

-Bruce Willakers Source and Audio Version

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They announced it on Twitter too, with a picture.

When you see it..

CFfHJJOWEAA8uv7.jpg

"We're all in this together, might as well be friends" Tom, Toonami.

 

mini eLiXiVy: my open source 65% mechanical PCB, a build log, PCB anatomy and discussing open source licenses: https://linustechtips.com/topic/1366493-elixivy-a-65-mechanical-keyboard-build-log-pcb-anatomy-and-how-i-open-sourced-this-project/

 

mini_cardboard: a 4% keyboard build log and how keyboards work: https://linustechtips.com/topic/1328547-mini_cardboard-a-4-keyboard-build-log-and-how-keyboards-work/

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Ya, but he was the VP of Global Business planning which means he was probably involved in EA's business choices of selling lots of DLC and micro-transactions.

 

He also left the company... if he was evil and making tons of money he probably wouldnt have left EA - so maybe he was sick of the bullshit

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They announced it on Twitter too, with a picture.

When you see it..

I laughed like an idiot. Good one!

The ability to google properly is a skill of its own. 

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He also left the company... if he was evil and making tons of money he probably wouldnt have left EA - so maybe he was sick of the bullshit

Good point, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens, and if there are any major changes to Nintendo in NA.

MSI GT70 2OC- CPU: Intel i7 4700MQ @2.40GHz, Memory: 16GB DDR3, GPU: Nvidia GTX 770m, SSD: Adata SP600 256GB, HDD: HGST Travelstar 7k1000 1TB

[spoiler=The Story of Lord Gaben(Warning:Lots of reading or use the audio link)]"Once upon a time there was a young man called ancient Lord Gaben Newell. The young man saw that the gamers of this world were in need of protection, and so he begun a quest to better the PC gaming world for all of us. On his first day, Gabe created the half life, a wonderful game made by a wonderful lord. The peasants cried. "Why do you cry, little peasant?" the lord bequeathed. "The nearest store to my house is too far Gaben, please find us a way to get the games without the trek." said the peasant. And so on his second day, Gabe created the steam, at first the peasants hated this shit, but at least the games could downloaded rather than venturing into the cold world, and purchased. Gabe was happy, but when he looked at the peasants, they cried. "Why do you cry little peasant?" the lord bequeathed. "We need more games Prince Gaben, please convince the other knights of gaming to join your cause." said the peasant. And so on his third say, Gabe invented more games, dozens, hundreds, thousands of publishers. More games than a person could play in a lifetime. But the peasants still cried. "Why do you cry little peasant?" The lord bequeathed. "There are too many games and we are too poor, Baron Von Gaben, we need more affordable options for gaming." said the peasant. And so on the fourth day, Gabe invented sales, a wondrous new invention, never done anywhere, in which you buy something for like five bucks. In fact, sometimes, it's like two bucks or three bucks, it's pretty crazy. But oh how the peasants did cry. "Why do you cry little peasant? The lord bequeathed."We are still so poor, Count Gaben, we need games that are free. Games that can let anyone into their world, without costing them a penny." said the peasant. And so on his fifth Gabe invented Free to Play, a dangerous yet monumental idea, that he saw some Koreans do, and figured "Eh What the hell, fuckin eh, we're America, ain't nobody gonna have the best free games, but us." That would allow gamers to play for free. This time Gabe was sure the peasants were happy. He not only created a form DRM peasants wouldn't give a shit about, but also a service, that no other knight in the land could stand against. But when Gabe looked at the peasants, when Gabe looked at the peasants, they were no longer poor, they were fat and greedy. They called themselves glorious, and made fun of all the other peasant gamers of this world because their lord had treated them so well. Gabe met with these people to see if they were in fact happy, but they weren't. "Where is Half Life 3? It's been too long. What have you been doing? Taking mods and turning them into games? Pushing sales for money? FUUUCKK YOOUU GABE!!" Gabe cried a single tear. "I can't give you games that are no finished peasants." said the Lord. "WHY NOT?" yelled the peasants. "Give us the Games that are not finished. MORE. MORE. MORE." yelled the peasants. A thunderbolt struck, and Gabe went home to sleep. Gabe new that tomorrow, would not just be the sixth day, it would be the last day. And so on his sixth and final day, Gabe invented EARLY ACESSSSS!! I FUCKING HATE EARLY ACESS!!!!" 

-Bruce Willakers Source and Audio Version

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With this logic, every italian etc with the first name Mario is working for Nintendo as well....

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