How can I deal with a coworker that sets me up to fail?

[12345678]

Since I've met him, he has been a pain in the ass. I can't say much to the boss since he's the son of one of his closest friends, so he would always have the last word vs mine, random dude who shows up from 6 months.

 

Like today, as well with several other days, he managed to fuck off the boss, without having repercussions, while at the same time blaming the issue at me.

 

Whereas the issue was created by him some days ago, but this time around I have proofs, where he instructed me to do x things. I can't either avoid to do some things, otherwise he gets in a power trip and extremely mad

 

For the time being I always have been pretty much passive, but after a while it's a pain in the ass.

I don't want dramas in my life 

[WildDagwood]

The drama will follow you and probably come about in a negative way if you keep being passive and brushing it off. Shit disturbers will inevitably stir up shit, and you're better to handle it on your own terms than wait for a situation your employment could be at risk.

 

You need to be diligent in documenting things, get things in writing whenever possible, and play your cards at the right time. If you think something you've been asked to do is sketchy, etc. then bring it up to your boss or supervisor before you do it, explaining that you wanted clarity because something seemed off (or however you want to spin it). Try to minimize/prevent situations that would otherwise turn into a "he said, she said" situation, and don't redact/compromise your stance for the sake of being non-confrontational (passive).

[wasab]

Sun Tzu once said, you can eliminate your enemies by becoming their friends. 

[Needfuldoer]

17 hours ago, 12345678 said:

but this time around I have proofs, where he instructed me to do x things.

Keep doing this. If he asks you to do something, get it in writing. Make up an excuse like "send me an email so I'll remember" if you have to.

 

Then if he tries to throw you under the bus, it's not just your word against his.

[Spindel]

On 12/14/2023 at 12:20 PM, Needfuldoer said:

Keep doing this. If he asks you to do something, get it in writing. Make up an excuse like "send me an email so I'll remember" if you have to.

 

Then if he tries to throw you under the bus, it's not just your word against his.

This is the solution and the only solution to a problem like this.

 

Do not engage in trying to set up people like this, it will only back fire.

 

Make sure there is a trail that shows you are following instructions.

[RokinAmerica]

He won't change, so if you want change, you need make it happen.

 

I had that guy as a boss once, way back in the 80's. He effed up and wanted me to take the heat because while he was married to the owner's daughter, he was the black sheep. I refused.

 

I quit and found another job. 

[Poinkachu]

On 12/14/2023 at 2:25 AM, wasab said:

Sun Tzu once said, you can eliminate your enemies by becoming their friends. 

You sure ?

[wasab]

10 hours ago, Poinkachu said:

You sure ?

yes because i know even psychopaths have friends.

[Poinkachu]

6 hours ago, wasab said:

yes because i know even psychopaths have friends.

I mean, you sure Sun Tzu said that ?

 

Also, even if psychopaths do have friends and not just connections... 
I'm really not sure it's a wise / good idea to befriend them.

To me that sounds like sleeping in front of an ever hungry lion.

[SimplyChunk]

11 hours ago, wasab said:

yes because i know even psychopaths have friends.

Some of us have girlfriends too  @Skyesgaming

[wanderingfool2]

On 12/13/2023 at 10:14 AM, WildDagwood said:

The drama will follow you and probably come about in a negative way if you keep being passive and brushing it off. Shit disturbers will inevitably stir up shit, and you're better to handle it on your own terms than wait for a situation your employment could be at risk.

 

You need to be diligent in documenting things, get things in writing whenever possible, and play your cards at the right time. If you think something you've been asked to do is sketchy, etc. then bring it up to your boss or supervisor before you do it, explaining that you wanted clarity because something seemed off (or however you want to spin it). Try to minimize/prevent situations that would otherwise turn into a "he said, she said" situation, and don't redact/compromise your stance for the sake of being non-confrontational (passive).

Yea, pretty much this.

 

Things like if you are given instructions that is uncommon/not standard practice in person/phone, you can do something like sending an email saying; "as per our conversation, I have completed xyz". 

 

Or internally, document using the companies email by emailing yourself (if you are worried about him thinking you are trying to document).  Like "Bob requested I do xyz, against my advise we do it like abc".  A quick email, but things like this can help if you need to ever go to a human rights tribunal etc...if you get in trouble for "work" you were instructed to do by a superior.

 

One thing though @12345678 does the boss have a supervisor?  Or a HR person?  If there is an HR person in the company, you could bring up the concerns with them

[12345678]

2 hours ago, wanderingfool2 said:

Yea, pretty much this.

 

Things like if you are given instructions that is uncommon/not standard practice in person/phone, you can do something like sending an email saying; "as per our conversation, I have completed xyz". 

 

Or internally, document using the companies email by emailing yourself (if you are worried about him thinking you are trying to document).  Like "Bob requested I do xyz, against my advise we do it like abc".  A quick email, but things like this can help if you need to ever go to a human rights tribunal etc...if you get in trouble for "work" you were instructed to do by a superior.

 

2 hours ago, wanderingfool2 said:

One thing though @12345678 does the boss have a supervisor?  Or a HR person?  If there is an HR person in the company, you could bring up the concerns with them

He sorta is the Hr

It's a small company, roles have no clear scale 

I can't really understand the relationship between the boss and him tbh, the other day, he managed to fuck off the boss without repercussions

[Donut417]

Easy way to solve this. Find a new job. If the boss isnt going to deal with this issue then the boss doesnt value you as an employee.

[wasab]

On 12/16/2023 at 10:01 PM, Poinkachu said:

To me that sounds like sleeping in front of an ever hungry lion.

Yes, this is a very good idea. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. 

[LAwLz]

On 12/16/2023 at 2:23 PM, Spindel said:

This is the solution and the only solution to a problem like this.

 

Do not engage in trying to set up people like this, it will only back fire.

 

Make sure there is a trail that shows you are following instructions.

I would also like to add that I think it's a very bad attitude to blame someone else if something bad happens, even if they were the ones who caused it.

So even if you have evidence that he instructed you to do something that ended up causing issues, your first priority should be to fix the issue and be solutions-oriented. Don't turn a bad situation into a pissing contest about who the blame is on. That just comes across as childish and irresponsible.

 

So if you followed instructions and something bad happened, your first priority should be to fix the issue. Then when the issue is dealt with, you can bring up the subject while talking about how to prevent it from happening again. So during the talk after the issue is solved you should not say:

Quote

Well, it wasn't my fault. X told me to do it so you should be mad at him.

 

You should instead say:

Quote

I am sorry for the trouble I caused. According to the directives sent to me by X, this was the correct thing to do. How do we avoid this situation in the future? <insert suggested solution like "maybe an action need the approval of two people?">

 

Your situation is not specific enough for me to give you concrete suggestions, but I hope you get the point.

[SimplyChunk]

9 hours ago, LAwLz said:

I would also like to add that I think it's a very bad attitude to blame someone else if something bad happens

To err is human...

 

...to blame someone else is even more human

[BrandonLatzig]

I can tell you, even if your boss doesn't seem bad, he probably is. At the end of the day, that worker who (may or may not be) doing a bad job is working at his business, potentially ruining the morale of his other workers. Friends are great, but that doesnt mean you get a free pass to ruin someone's workers

[wasab]

On 12/20/2023 at 5:32 PM, SimplyChunk said:

To err is human...

 

...to blame someone else is even more human

you should tread carefully if you are gonna do this. it is no different than challenging someone to a death combat to see who is right or wrong, guilty or innocent, just less extream 

[Donut417]

On 12/19/2023 at 11:28 PM, htimsenyawed said:

I want to reiterate though, find a new job before quitting this one. I’m going on 3 months without work after my contract ended and my strongest lead fleeced me. 

Some times you just have the YOLO it. Your heath / mental heath are more important than a job. Of course Im also in a position that if I lost my job Id be OK for many months because I have a decent amount of money saved.

[kpluck]

Getting things in writing is a good short term strategy however, don't be surprised if it doesn't solve the problem. The powers that be will probably use some questionable mental gymnastics to deflect blame from the problem worker no matter what "proof" you give them. It is time to find another job.

 

-kp

[wasab]

11 hours ago, htimsenyawed said:

I thought I’d be okay for a while money wise (I am not), but I’ve never really had a job I hated or even disliked so I guess I don’t understand the first aspect of it. 

thats what a 6 months to a year emergency fund is for. financial literacy 101 

[12345678]

Hm by overhearing:

 

Apparently the boss is aware of what the dude is doing, the dude apparently doesn't want me to be there, but yet they don't say anything to me directly 

 

As much I'd like to change workplace, that's not really an option (also because working full time, I have no time on doing other interviews), I guess I'll stick with it, till he decides to do something about the whole situation, as long they pay me, I shouldn't give a shit