How do you fix being racist?

[Guest]

I grew up with a racist father. He says racist things everyday. Even today when we were driving down the road he said "Hey Mike, look at that (N word) walking down the street. Back in the day you would never see them (N word) walk down the street like that." This has always bothered me and recently I've asked him to stop saying things like that, but over time I believe it has changed how I view black people.

 

I don't like black people and I don't really know why. I just don't view them the same as I view other people. I've tried so hard to not feel this way. I talk to many black people, but I always find myself not enjoying their company. How do I fix these feelings? 

 

Also I'm posting this on LTT because this is the best place for anything and this is in off topic so...

[Unhelpful]

The fact that you know it's an issue means you are doing much better than most people.

[spwath]

Yeah what Joey said, but just know

[Rorgash]

you will probably never get rid of it at this point, but knowing it will make sure you dont actively do stupid shit. but other than YEARS AND YEARS of therapy wont solve it and even then it might not, its been hard coded into you through your childhood. (Basic Psychology) but clearly you know its stupid so you should be fine

[MbV93]

Wow! Well, just know that these hate you have for a certain race of people is unfounded and was passed on to you by a relative. Open yourself up to being around different people, realize it's just a different skin color and that it doesn't define them. You'll quickly realize how wrong your general perception of black people was.

[Oshino Shinobu]

Here comes an unpopular opinion:

 

I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with not liking certain people, whether it's because of the colour of their skin or their sexual orientation, as long as you're not actively discriminating against them, insults them etc. I think that as long as you can be civil, there's no real reason to change what you think.

[Izaya Orihara]

I don't think that this is racist. You are not a racist. Your father sure is but if you don't walk around calling every african american a N then you are fine. 

[Fred Castellum]

If you hear it enough you'll start believing it. Think for yourself and develop opinions based on your own experiences. Do you have any black friends? Surely there are black people you could get along with no problem.  

How could you not like Astro Physicist Neil Degrasse Tyson? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_C7blMV9XEw

[Guest]

You have to realize the only difference is that black people have more pigment, if that's the only difference, why would you be uncomfortable?

[ohJey]

I don't think you're racist, maybe there's just something different beyond their skin color that makes you uncomfortable.  

[EricX2]

You have to stop looking at what is different about them and find out what is similar about them. Especially if you assume that every black person is like a stereotypical TV/movie black person, you will have trouble getting past that and learning how you really might be the same. There are lots of youtubers that are nearly identical to Linus but are black (or any race in the world) and I think that is awesome. All humans are the same deep down, we may have learned things that make us different and we don't have to like everybody else but we should try. I know, I'm just a little too optimistic on how people should act.

[Fred Castellum]

You have to realize the only difference is that black people have more pigment, if that's the only difference, why would you be uncomfortable?

Right everyone at the fundamental level is a human being, it doesn't matter if we look different because in the end we're all the same. 

 

I don't think you're racist, maybe there's just something different beyond their skin color that makes you uncomfortable.  

I feel like that's OPs issue at the moment, not necessarily the color but the personality.

 

Here OP take a look at these videos. The goal of this isn't to make you agree or accept something but to provoke thought, because where would the human race be without thinking? Look at things through different perspectives and never stop thinking!

 

 

[Fred Castellum]

You have to stop looking at what is different about them and find out what is similar about them. Especially if you assume that every black person is like a stereotypical TV/movie black person, you will have trouble getting past that and learning how you really might be the same. There are lots of youtubers that are nearly identical to Linus but are black (or any race in the world) and I think that is awesome. All humans are the same deep down, we may have learned things that make us different and we don't have to like everybody else but we should try. I know, I'm just a little too optimistic on how people should act.

Here's one: 

[Askew]

If what your dad says bothers you then I don't think you're a racist to be completely honest, otherwise you'd just say "ha yeah look at him" or something to that effect.

 

Black culture is as often vastly different from white as it is similar, so I'd need to ask some more questions to determine whether it's a culture association that for instance somebody white who lives in a predominantly black area could inherit, or simply colour.

 

I am not a racist, or much of a Chris Rock fan for that matter, but I agree with what is said in this video, black people are diverse in terms of the way they act just like any other race on earth. I join him in saying I like black people but I don't like 'niggers'. Some black people play into the stereotypes and this helps to perpetuate them. I dislike that kind of culture, and it doesn't matter what colour the people involved in it are, I will dislike them.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tkZuLixZOk

[Askew]

Here's one:

 

Yes, he is a top example of a genuinely decent person, the only reason for hating on him would be because he is black.

Marques is a class act!

[JustTooDank]

If what your dad says bothers you then I don't think you're a racist to be completely honest, otherwise you'd just say "ha yeah look at him" or something to that effect.

 

Black culture is as often vastly different from white as it is similar, so I'd need to ask some more questions to determine whether it's a culture association that for instance somebody white who lives in a predominantly black area could inherit, or simply colour.

 

I am not a racist, or much of a Chris Rock fan for that matter, but I agree with what is said in this video, black people are diverse in terms of the way they act just like any other race on earth. I join him in saying I like black people but I don't like 'niggers'. Some black people play into the stereotypes and this helps to perpetuate them. I dislike that kind of culture, and it doesn't matter what colour the people involved in it are, I will dislike them.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tkZuLixZOk

 

I wanted to post that video but wasn't sure if it broke CoC.

[Askew]

I wanted to post that video but wasn't sure if it broke CoC.

 

I deemed it to be ok to post because it is not racist, it is about culture disparities within one race and the person speaking is black.

[Puppet]

It would seem that the racism has worn off on you a bit if you feel uncomfortable around someone purely based on their race, unless you got unlucky and the people you met were actually dicks.

 

From the sound of things you don't voice your opinions or act aggressively like your father, so that's a positive thing as you are probably not going to upset too many people.

 

You really want to try and fix the feeling uncomfortable thing though, there's no real reason to feel this way about someone because of their race, perhaps going to see a psychologist? (meant respectfully of course). 

[Stagea]

I don't like black people and I don't really know why. I just don't view them the same as I view other people. I've tried so hard to not feel this way. I talk to many black people, but I always find myself not enjoying their company. How do I fix these feelings?

Also I'm posting this on LTT because this is the best place for anything and this is in off topic so...

You're probably not racist. It's just natural for people to gravitate towards what is familiar. I presume you're still quite young. As you get more exposure with different cultures (especially in a work environment) and their diversity, you'd probably stop minding.

[thirdworldking]

you dont those are your personal views. however in this society it is frowned upon to be racist so if i were you i would just live like your not racist and keep your mouth shut. easier said then done of course

[techswede]

I grew up around a lot of casual racism. And it kinda get's hardwired into your system after a while

"Tell a lie enough times and it'll sound like the truth" basically 

Hard work, Self control, And dedication is how you subdue it. 

I'll be damned if my kids have to grow up in a racist environment..

[MrTomnus]

The only way we are going to get rid of racism is to stop making a big deal out of it. People go on about it all the time and it only worsens things. This is really hard for me to explain, so I don't know if anybody will understand what I'm saying. 

 

In all honesty, I see nothing wrong with anybody dressing up as a black person, for example. That is not, in my view, offensive in any way. Robert Downey Jr did it in Tropic Thunder, and did anyone say anything about it? No. Because it's not an issue - he was simply playing a role as an African American person. No harm done. He actually did a pretty good job of it to be honest. The film itself was god awful though...

 

People have proven time and time again that people of all races can be equally successful. 

 

OP, in response to your problem, your dislike of black people probably stems from the situations you have been in with your father concerning his racist comments. Maybe you felt awkward while you were with him because of the things he was saying. That makes you want to avoid the situation, and therefore you dislike it. Your mind has now made an association that you should avoid them after hearing those things all the time. Realising that (which you have already done) is the first step to trying to prevent it.

[cae]

Logic and understanding. You say you don't enjoy their company, but as long as you understand the reasons behind that you're fine. Your father has tailored your perceptions towards racism. You're questioning it already, so just continue on that path. They didn't choose their skin color, and it's nothing more than that - color; it's illogical to dismiss them for it. Is there more to the reasoning behind not enjoying their company? What virtues are they lacking? Keep asking questions. Maybe you'll find that the racist perceptions were the only thing keeping you from enjoying their company. Maybe you'll pinpoint your discomfort on part of their character, and get to choose how to handle the situation from there. 

[Real_PhillBert]

[Nineshadow]

Fo' shizzle ma nizzle!