Share your Apple jokes here:

[Ace McPlane]

I'd like to hear some funny Apple jokes (Keep it PG though)

 

Here's one to start:

 

What's a bottleneck on an apple called?

A turtleneck

 

That joke sucked.

Got anything better?

[kelvinhall05]

If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?

 

How do you milk sheep?

Bring out the new iPhone and charge $1,000 for it.

[mech]

Isn't the iPhone X top notch...

[handymanshandle]

"Long term support, what's that?" -- Samsung

 

 

Before you crucify me, I'll have you know I own an S8+. These kinds of threads are frankly stupid. Good day.

 

Oh, and I'll also have you know I own a Galaxy S6, which obviously preceded my S8+. 

[captain_to_fire]

"How do you fix signal issues with your iPhone?"

I know this is a very old one but still. Here's another one?

"I just hook up my Apple to my peach and I can download protection up to a thousand periods..." That Mad TV clip was uploaded three years before the first iPad was launched. 

[mr moose]

In order to make it 0.3mm smaller, Apple had to release the iphone with a flatter battery. 

[Bhav]

 

[Ddarlington36]

Iphone customer is = to a drug addict looking for their next fix they'll pay any amount if it says apple on it.   

[Drak3]

[Misanthrope]

Apple: Choose us, it will be the last real choice you'll make on your phone.

[Age of 9394]

i dont know

[TacoSenpai]

I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me. Not my fault they don't have Windows.
 

[lookpuppy]

[Egg-Roll]

When they built the first iProduct nearly 20 years ago they had this discussion on naming it:

 

Steve Jobs: We need a new name for our new computer coming out this year. 

Marketer: We know our products sound too much like a normal computer, people were buying Windows 95 instead of ours out of confusion.

Steve Jobs: We need something unique, yet simple for our clients.

Marketer: Did you just call our clients idiots?

*Marketer 2 walks by hearing the conversation*

Steve Jobs: Yes.

Marketer: I have a idea then, what if we took the i from idiot, capitalize it and put it in front of our new products name?

*Marketer 2 walks in*

Steve Jobs: So like this? *Writes "IMacMan"*

Marketer 2: That just sounds stupid.

Steve Jobs: Have a better idea?

Marketer 2: Yup, lowercase the i and keep your names simple. Let's call the new computer a iMac like this *writes iMac*

Steve Jobs: Won't someone figure that out?

Marketer 2: Our clientele are too ignorant to listen to anyone smart enough to figure it out. Plus we'll just say the i is for "internet", just get your coders to make it easy to connect to it.

Steve Jobs: That was done 6 weeks ago, we were going to make it a selling point.

Marketer 2: perfect alibi.

 

iWlecome you to the iDeot era