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The worst way to destroy a laptop

DocSwag
By DocSwag
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Posted

This is inspired by this thread which unfortunately got locked.

http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/533815-the-need-to-destroy-my-laptop-with-no-evidence/

Wanna hear your thoughts!

A few of mine:

Pee all over the CPU

Pee all over the motherboard

Pee all over the gpu

Cut the ram in half, pee on it, then put it back in

Pee on the keyboard and say your dog did it.

Poo on the motherboard and say your dog did it.

What are your ideas?

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Posted

That's pretty disgusting.

 

I'd just take the Jeremy Clarkson approach.

 

hammer_PNG3890.png

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Preheat the oven to 475 degrees.  Rub the laptop with oil and lightly season however you like.  Bake the laptop for 45 minutes or until the laptop forms a nice burned crust around the outside.

i5-4690k@4.5GHz || MSI GTX 970 || MSI z97 Gaming 5 || NZXT Kraken x61 || WD Black 1TB || Crucial MX100 || 8GB Corsair Vengeance Pro || Corsair RM750 || NZXT H440 || Corsair k70 RGB mx browns || Acer H236HL || ViewSonic VX2255wm-4

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Posted

Install OSX on it.

 

or windows vista and norton.

 

jk

 

 

industrial shredder?

Specs: CPU - Intel i7 8700K @ 5GHz | GPU - Gigabyte GTX 970 G1 Gaming | Motherboard - ASUS Strix Z370-G WIFI AC | RAM - XPG Gammix DDR4-3000MHz 32GB (2x16GB) | Main Drive - Samsung 850 Evo 500GB M.2 | Other Drives - 7TB/3 Drives | CPU Cooler - Corsair H100i Pro | Case - Fractal Design Define C Mini TG | Power Supply - EVGA G3 850W

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Installing Windows Vista (pre SP2) on it.

Intel I9-9900k (5Ghz) | Asus ROG Maximus XI Formula | Corsair Vengeance 16GB DDR4-4133mhz | ASUS ROG Strix 2080Ti | EVGA Supernova G2 1050w 80+Gold | Samsung 950 Pro M.2 (512GB) + (1TB) | Full EK custom water loop |IN-WIN S-Frame (No. 263/500)

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or windows vista and norton.

All the Norton hate man, so undeserved...

Project White Lightning (My ITX Gaming PC): Core i5-4690K | CRYORIG H5 Ultimate | ASUS Maximus VII Impact | HyperX Savage 2x8GB DDR3 | Samsung 850 EVO 250GB | WD Black 1TB | Sapphire RX 480 8GB NITRO+ OC | Phanteks Enthoo EVOLV ITX | Corsair AX760 | LG 29UM67 | CM Storm Quickfire Ultimate | Logitech G502 Proteus Spectrum | HyperX Cloud II | Logitech Z333

Benchmark Results: 3DMark Firestrike: 10,528 | SteamVR VR Ready (avg. quality 7.1) | VRMark 7,004 (VR Ready)

 

Other systems I've built:

Core i3-6100 | CM Hyper 212 EVO | MSI H110M ECO | Corsair Vengeance LPX 1x8GB DDR4  | ADATA SP550 120GB | Seagate 500GB | EVGA ACX 2.0 GTX 1050 Ti | Fractal Design Core 1500 | Corsair CX450M

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I am not a professional. I am not an expert. I am just a smartass. Don't try and blame me if you break something when acting upon my advice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...why are you still reading this?

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That's pretty disgusting.

 

I'd just take the Jeremy Clarkson approach.

 

 

What about strapping a V8 engine to a blender and putting in the laptop? Don't forget the brick.

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If I loved the laptop - throw it on a funeral pyre.

If I hated the laptop, throw it repeatedly onto my driveway until it breaks apart. It's soooooo satsifying.

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All the Norton hate man, so undeserved...

 

Nah, it's quite deserved.

 

Pretty damn heavy resource usage compared to other antivirus software, protection is meh, pain in the ass to uninstall too.

Specs: CPU - Intel i7 8700K @ 5GHz | GPU - Gigabyte GTX 970 G1 Gaming | Motherboard - ASUS Strix Z370-G WIFI AC | RAM - XPG Gammix DDR4-3000MHz 32GB (2x16GB) | Main Drive - Samsung 850 Evo 500GB M.2 | Other Drives - 7TB/3 Drives | CPU Cooler - Corsair H100i Pro | Case - Fractal Design Define C Mini TG | Power Supply - EVGA G3 850W

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Nah, it's quite deserved.

 

Pretty damn heavy resource usage compared to other antivirus software, protection is meh, pain in the ass to uninstall too.

And it keeps asking you for money.

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Install Windows XP (no SP) and click ALL the ads

Failed to load signature. Error 404 - Witty comment not found

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One of those really big magnets > rub the laptop all over (no innuendo intended) > set the laptop on fire > grind what is left of it > set that on fire > spread it across the world in 53 different locations (NOT MORE, NOT LESS, EXACTLY 53) > Grab a beverage of choice because you have just done it

"We're all in this together, might as well be friends" Tom, Toonami.

 

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Step 1. Laptop

Step 2. 10kV to power in

Step 3. Profit???

Failed to load signature. Error 404 - Witty comment not found

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Flash the gpu's bios with one from a different gpu. 100% impossible to fix or diagnose.

Don't ask to ask, just ask... please 🤨

sudo chmod -R 000 /*

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Nah, it's quite deserved.

 

Pretty damn heavy resource usage compared to other antivirus software, protection is meh, pain in the ass to uninstall too.

Nah, sorry. Used to be true, but not any more, using it right now, using no CPU and 8MB of my RAM. Simply not true.

 

Virus protection is really good as well. Look at some reviews for the 2014 or 2015 versions and you'll see that it's well acclaimed.

Project White Lightning (My ITX Gaming PC): Core i5-4690K | CRYORIG H5 Ultimate | ASUS Maximus VII Impact | HyperX Savage 2x8GB DDR3 | Samsung 850 EVO 250GB | WD Black 1TB | Sapphire RX 480 8GB NITRO+ OC | Phanteks Enthoo EVOLV ITX | Corsair AX760 | LG 29UM67 | CM Storm Quickfire Ultimate | Logitech G502 Proteus Spectrum | HyperX Cloud II | Logitech Z333

Benchmark Results: 3DMark Firestrike: 10,528 | SteamVR VR Ready (avg. quality 7.1) | VRMark 7,004 (VR Ready)

 

Other systems I've built:

Core i3-6100 | CM Hyper 212 EVO | MSI H110M ECO | Corsair Vengeance LPX 1x8GB DDR4  | ADATA SP550 120GB | Seagate 500GB | EVGA ACX 2.0 GTX 1050 Ti | Fractal Design Core 1500 | Corsair CX450M

Core i5-4590 | Intel Stock Cooler | Gigabyte GA-H97N-WIFI | HyperX Savage 2x4GB DDR3 | Seagate 500GB | Intel Integrated HD Graphics | Fractal Design Arc Mini R2 | be quiet! Pure Power L8 350W

 

I am not a professional. I am not an expert. I am just a smartass. Don't try and blame me if you break something when acting upon my advice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...why are you still reading this?

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carefully remove the parts that you can sell then download ram.

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Remove the battery, strip a power cable and touch the live and earth ends to the power contacts the battery would normally connect to. Poof

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Samsung 850 EVO 500Gb | Acer XB270HU 

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I would throw P95 + Furmark at it, and put it in my microwave for maximum temp testing.

CONSOLE KILLER: Pentium III 700mhz . 512MB RAM . 3DFX VOODOO 3 SLi

 

 

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Use this and I'll assure you that there wont be much evidence left.

 

Good option... However I suggest drop laptop into inferno and melt it.. :) or drop in lava(if one is near u ). :)

Getting old is wonderful, when you consider the alternative.

 

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I've seen a couple blackberry phones to their doom in a 4,000lb drop forging hammer.. I suppose the same could be done with a laptop  :D

my work in progress

i5 6600k  //  16gb g.skill ddr4 3000  //  evga gtx 980

custom water loop

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