How does one get friends?

[Ruostunut kokis]

Most of my friends I have known from first grade so 20 years or so I have picked up a few along the way from different schools after that but I still mainly hang out with people i have know since first grade.

 

So my suggestion is after you work on learning the alphabet and go out for recess just hang out with some of the people from your class and play on the swings... hmm this may not be so effective in your age group. 

 

Anyways life isn't myspace or facebook the number of friends you have doesn't really mean as much as the type of friends you have. Just find a club or a group of people that seem like they would be interested in the same things you are and get to know some people. Disregard people that are assholes and move on to the next people,

I think I explained it a bit weirdly or unintelligently. I mean: There's not many idiots in my age group, only my home municipality has assholish and rebellious teens. Then when talking about the high school I attend to... Different story. No-one is an asshole, they're nice to other people, but I just get ignored.

[Legion]

I joked with my friends that my switch has more ports than I have friends to fill it at a lan party .

 

Just need to find someone with a common hobby and go from there.

[therussianpotato]

haha dude chill out it can't be that bad

[_wky]

I'd say just try and do what you like to do, maybe you will find someone that likes the same things. That's generally how I met my best friends.

[Jogostar]

Purposely lock yourself in a room with whoever you want to be friends with and start a conversation.

I like your thinking.

We should be friends. *locks door*

[Lyons]

If you're not anti-social or overly shy, friends come naturally IMO, especially when you're around others and/or need to interact with them a lot.

[peaking duck]

be positive, express a positive persona and people will gravitate to you.

 

theres no do's and dont's with social interaction.

just be the best person you can and appreciate and respect the people around you, especially your family. your family are your true friends.. through thick and thin

 

looking through the people i know, the ones with large social circles on Facebook are the ones who haven't seemed to have moved on from their early 20's

 

not married, board with mates, no children, no major assets to cal their own.

[Rorgash]

use your time to learn stuff and have fun instead of wasting it on social crap Iv been doing that my entire life, some of us are socially awkward, or suffer from social skill issues either from differences in brain structure or just never having learned it growing up, i suffer from both which caused bullying while kids up to the 9th grade and ignoring after that, but really who needs those people anyhow, here on the internet everyone is awesome

[Almercenary]

Friends. Some people don't need them, some people need them.  Maybe your an introvert, maybe your weird, just like me. I still found friends. None of them listen to black metal say, but we all like tech and a good RPG.  Just look for people who have the same interests, you'll probably naturally combine. Also, you may have to be active. Standing around looking awkward doesn't get you friends. Rule No. 1 though. Don't make yourself to be someone you aren't. I'd rather have no friends and be myself than have shit tons of friends and have to be a bullshit artist everyday.

[GuruMeditationError]

The best I can figure out is to just hang out and look average. I have social anxiety and find socialising potentially extremely depressing so I'm not sure I can really help you, but hanging out and being average seems to be a sure-fire way; I just don't seem to be able to manage it because it leaves me feeling a bit empty (and sometimes depressed in the extreme), maybe because I just don't feel like I'm being myself.

 

People tell me I'm a surreal person and the term "otherworldly" has even been used to describe me. Just hanging out is kind of almost just unbearable for me.  :unsure:

[LOLPhilips]

Yar,

 

Yee take yee hearty mateys out to sea for booty and plunder.

drinking the grog and chasing the wenches is the matey life.

[Guest]

You don't need friends, you have us...

 

Stay on the dark side..

 

 

Don't worry though, you will make friends eventually, just be friend-ly (ha see what I did there) and you will make friends.

[Me1z]

i agree with this guy smelly people such. Plus meeting people online is a no-no.

 

I've met all of my closest friends online and through them met my current girlfriend. I don't understand why meeting people online is a "no-no". As long as your not an idiot, take some time getting to know each other, and don't meet anyone IRL that you have not at least skype called a few times, there is little to no danger. All you need is common sense.

[TheDotaGuy]

I've met all of my closest friends online and through them met my current girlfriend. I don't understand why meeting people online is a "no-no". As long as your not an idiot, take some time getting to know each other, and don't meet anyone IRL that you have not at least skype called a few times, there is little to no danger. All you need is common sense.

Ouch shots fired, i'm only kidding! I didn't mean to offend you and i am quite open to peoples opinions. Now to elaborate...

 

No-no most of the times (according too high school PD classes[Things have changed])... All though I agree with your Skype theory it seems pretty flawless.

[ofr057]

Let's start with what you'd classify a friend. What aspects make you consider a person as a friend?

A friend is just an enemy you just don't know it yet

[Ruostunut kokis]

I've met all of my closest friends online and through them met my current girlfriend. I don't understand why meeting people online is a "no-no". As long as your not an idiot, take some time getting to know each other, and don't meet anyone IRL that you have not at least skype called a few times, there is little to no danger. All you need is common sense.

Common sense... On the internet, not many people have it nowadays, or they have it twisted. I know it's better to meet people online and maybe sometime video calling them than to go meet them blindly IRL after a small chat on the internet, but I'm very skeptic when it comes to strangers on the internet, and even on people met IRL. For some reason I just feel like I can't trust anybody.  In fact, I trust no-one...

[TheGamingBarrel]

Common sense is not that common anymore.

[schrott]

start martial arts, try a few different clubs, where people are most respectful and which MA style suits you, you should stay (imho) ... the friendships that evolve from there have a different meaning (to me) than those which come from forced social interactions: xmas party, highschool, neighbor, bar fight ...

 

also start playing an instrument, if you get any good, people will want to jam with you ... go into psychotherapy talk about your loneliness, check a few therapists, stick with the one you feel most comfortable with (i prefer male ) ... dont try to use drugs or booze to fill the inner void,

 

my 2 ct

[DeViLzzz]

I truly believe that until one loves themselves you can't love another person. This also can be applied to friendship. I have one person I know in my community that called me a friend multiple times and I haven't let him into my life as a friend cuz I don't love myself and I don't like myself. I am not sure I want someone to accept me for the super anxious person that I am and until I feel comfortable with myself well I won't have friends. I think you need to look at yourself and find what makes you happy and do that and find what will make you love yourself and then go out and meet people and you will truly find some good friends. I think for me I also need to learn to love myself even with my faults and I will do better but it is really hard. I see all that I have lost due to mental illness and the way I act because of how trapped I feel by it and I just don't want anyone else to feel the pain of what I go through and so I keep them away. Anyway hope some of this helps you out and hopefully in the future I can figure it out too for me.

Oh one more thing lastly let me say humans do need contact with others and this idea that one can be alone and be happy is just not something normal. Yes we have to love ourselves but that does not mean we should be able to be happy alone every single minute. It is engrained in us as humans to want contact with others and be social even if we are not capable of it. I hate spending so many lonely days and nights by myself. I hate going out with nowhere to go. I hate not being able to tell people that like me what is wrong and why I can't have them in my life.

Again I hope anything I say here can be of help. Good luck in the future with things op and if you are honest with yourself and participate in things you dream of doing that are realistic and put yourself into things you like then you will find people with similar interests and you should be able to make friends that way.

[Ruostunut kokis]

start martial arts, try a few different clubs, where people are most respectful and which MA style suits you, you should stay (imho) ... the friendships that evolve from there have a different meaning (to me) than those which come from forced social interactions: xmas party, highschool, neighbor, bar fight ...

 

also start playing an instrument, if you get any good, people will want to jam with you ... go into psychotherapy talk about your loneliness, check a few therapists, stick with the one you feel most comfortable with (i prefer male ) ... dont try to use drugs or booze to fill the inner void,

 

my 2 ct

I would gladly start trying out some martial arts, but unfortunately since my home municipality isn't an actual town there is not a single place to do it, and a nearest town that has possibilities to do some martial arts, is over 60 kilometers away. Way too expensive (I actually have to pay everything from my wallet, and I have no ways to get stable and big enough income required for it).

 

When it comes to music: no chances. I suck at everything when it comes to playing instruments. Not joking. Even when having to sing I just lip-sync, so I even fail at singing.

 

I've used to be lonely all this time, but recently it has started to impact my mood a bit. Not enough to justify therapy (also I've been in way too many therapists for other reasons in these recent years). Don't worry though, I'm one of those teens who don't drink / smoke / use any other drugs. I accept everyone else's drug usage, but I'll stay as an absolutist to myself as long as possible.

[midrim]

Your friends don't exactly have to share the same interests as you have.

Most of the techies here are pretty much the only techies they have seen in real life. Their friends are complete idiots when it comes to hardware.

 

My best friends are complete opposites of me. Half of them are hipsters (mac-loving fedora-wearing "photographer" and part vegan bastards) and the other half are dubstep junkies ( I'm more of a metal guy). I still hangout with them because we all enjoy the same type of humour and are not total dicks to each other (well, most of the time). I guess opposite poles do attract. For me.

 

 

You don't "find" or "get" friends. Friendship is made when people share a good bond. Try to bond with people. See who enjoys your stories and your company. Not to mention your humour. Not in a rape-y kind of bond,though.

If noone still seems to enjoy your company, try to change a bit. Those "be yourself" are only half-truths. Darwinism Baby. Of course, I'm not saying you should evolve into a complete asshole. Maybe change your social skills, see what style works that makes you bond with people.

[schrott]

I would gladly start trying out some martial arts, but unfortunately since my home municipality isn't an actual town there is not a single place to do it, and a nearest town that has possibilities to do some martial arts, is over 60 kilometers away. Way too expensive (I actually have to pay everything from my wallet, and I have no ways to get stable and big enough income required for it).

 

When it comes to music: no chances. I suck at everything when it comes to playing instruments. Not joking. Even when having to sing I just lip-sync, so I even fail at singing.

 

I've used to be lonely all this time, but recently it has started to impact my mood a bit. Not enough to justify therapy (also I've been in way too many therapists for other reasons in these recent years). Don't worry though, I'm one of those teens who don't drink / smoke / use any other drugs. I accept everyone else's drug usage, but I'll stay as an absolutist to myself as long as possible.

start here :

 

audiosauna, not too complex, only few tutorials, still hard to get into ..

 

or better but more complex

 

Ableton  8 free (limited, but i put out a ton of songs) there are a ton of totorials on the web ... easier to get into, very deep ...

 

 

if you cant to melody focus on rhytm ... dont worry, it will come, less is more... i am a amateur audio producer, and I sing like a dying frog in a blender, none the less, my beats and tunes are (imho) halfway decent....

 

what are you good at? web design? fixing tech? cooking? math problems? offer barter for martial arts in your community, if you meet up 2x a month, 1time you offer your skill, in return (for like 2 hours) your have somebody to teach you self defense then in ONE YEAR FROM NOW you have evolved, 

 

same goes for audio production...

 

therapists who have failed you .... sorry to hear ... i ve been blessed with 2 very good ones, after eliminating more than 7 B A D B A D BAAAD ones ...

 

again ... dont do drugs!

 

follow my adivce and you see a change, also ... do NOW 10 push ups or more, repeat every day 3 times prox 20 push ups, go running 2 times a week (even if you only run for less than 10 min on the first few runs).... no discussion about this .... jeeeesus, am I coming across too bossy???

 

i am sure I am .... well...enough of it ... i managed to get myself out of your situation but it took years, only drugs is the apparent easy quick way out, but dont do that.

[The_Evenger]

I'm in the same boat...

[Ruostunut kokis]

start here :

 

audiosauna, not too complex, only few tutorials, still hard to get into ..

 

or better but more complex

 

Ableton  8 free (limited, but i put out a ton of songs) there are a ton of totorials on the web ... easier to get into, very deep ...

 

 

if you cant to melody focus on rhytm ... dont worry, it will come, less is more... i am a amateur audio producer, and I sing like a dying frog in a blender, none the less, my beats and tunes are (imho) halfway decent....

 

what are you good at? web design? fixing tech? cooking? math problems? offer barter for martial arts in your community, if you meet up 2x a month, 1time you offer your skill, in return (for like 2 hours) your have somebody to teach you self defense then in ONE YEAR FROM NOW you have evolved, 

 

same goes for audio production...

 

therapists who have failed you .... sorry to hear ... i ve been blessed with 2 very good ones, after eliminating more than 7 B A D B A D BAAAD ones ...

 

again ... dont do drugs!

 

follow my adivce and you see a change, also ... do NOW 10 push ups or more, repeat every day 3 times prox 20 push ups, go running 2 times a week (even if you only run for less than 10 min on the first few runs).... no discussion about this .... jeeeesus, am I coming across too bossy???

 

i am sure I am .... well...enough of it ... i managed to get myself out of your situation but it took years, only drugs is the apparent easy quick way out, but dont do that.

Not gonna focus on audio production, as I'm clearly not good at it nor enjoy it.

 

I'm pretty much only good at things that are done alone / not accepted by the community. For example, I enjoy photography, but it's done alone (mostly at least) and people around me are very skeptic when someone has a camera around, and come up with an excuse like "Photography is forbidden here", even if it's a public area and not purpousively including any person in the pictures. Another one, tech in general: I'm basically surrounded by rather tech illiterate people who are not willing to learn more about tech, other than how to use some devices. Need I say more?

 

I've had way too many therapists trying to solve issues that I don't actually have. Not wanting any more of that, as it's just a waste of time. Also didn't I say that I'll stay as an absolutist when it comes to drugs (in other words: avoid using them at all)?

 

And yes, you're coming to be a bit bossy, but I'll maybe consider some of the advices.

 

 

And about the bartering idea... It doesn't work that way in modern society. It's either money, or nothing. At least that is what is it like around here. Plus the distances for the nearest places to train martial arts... I already said that they're too far away, and can't afford a bus or anything.

[ManOfDisguise]

Just remember. Trust no one!