How can I get a girl to like me?

[FloRolf]

if you're known for more than few years, it gets nearly impossible

Thank you for ruining my day/life! ._.

[Fred Castellum]

-snip-

Oh please taking over OPs post happens on a daily basis. I'm pretty sure OP doesn't mine a tiny bit of derailing if the topic is still similar. 

 

Lol I love sarcasm, my avatar is a sarcastic character hehe... Lack of self confidence and problem with your self image? Only you can change yourself, no one else can do it for you. You gotta try your best in find methods to change your mindset mate. I use to have low self confidence, self image problems, and bad socially. One day I just thought to myself hey what if instead of feeling bad about myself, incrementally change myself to someone I'd like to be. It was not a easy process but I pushed myself to improve my social abilities. No point in being sad over something if being sad over it isn't going to help change.

You can do it! 

I however still can't do a proper smile

[Fred Castellum]

Thank you for ruining my day/life! ._.

You still have a chance mate! Its not over! 

[HerEscutcheon]

Here are the three things you should do in your pursuit.

 

1) Have Confidence.

At least a little. You want to be comfortable. I know this can be hard, especially for you younger kids (it never really gets a lot easier). Just be sure of yourself. Maybe practice talking to her using your reflection, or a pet. If you have someone you really REALLY trust, practice talking with them. You don't have to blurt out a sonnet when you approach her, just say simple things like "hi," "how are you," and then see if she wants to keep talking. If you sense it, the words will come. After you feel more comfortable, maybe mention "you look nice today." Smile, and if she smiles, tell her you like her smile. Simple compliments like this go a long way. Remember, at 13, EVERYBODY has insecurities about themselves. Including her. A compliment may make her day!

 

2) Smell Nice.

Seriously, if you groom yourself well on a daily basis, you will have an advantage 95% of all other teenage boys don't have. Deodorant is not a substitute for soap (but use it anyway). If you have a cologne, never use more than 1 (ONE) spray. Less is More. You want to be smelled up close, not 100 yards away. You want to smell of soap, fresh laundry, and maybe a tiny bit of whatever cologne you have. Never use Axe. Never use English Leather. They're terrible.

 

3) Be Yourself.

This is the best advice I can give. Don't hide who you are. Don't exaggerate, don't lie. Yeah, that's about it.

[Hidden Orange]

Oh please taking over OPs post happens on a daily basis. I'm pretty sure OP doesn't mine a tiny bit of derailing if the topic is still similar. 

 

Lol I love sarcasm, my avatar is a sarcastic character hehe... Lack of self confidence and problem with your self image? Only you can change yourself, no one else can do it for you. You gotta try your best in find methods to change your mindset mate. I use to have low self confidence, self image problems, and bad socially. One day I just thought to myself hey what if instead of feeling bad about myself, incrementally change myself to someone I'd like to be. It was not a easy process but I pushed myself to improve my social abilities. No point in being sad over something if being sad over it isn't going to help change.

You can do it! 

 

I however still can't do a proper smile

Yeah, Hyouka's great and Chitanda's eyes are so captivating...

 

It's not a lack of self-confidence, but just an intense negative view on myself. Presentations, talking to people, etc., that's fine, but my thoughts always reflect negatively towards me. It's just thinking of her and how wonderful she is and then looking back at myself and feeling completely worthless to her. I'm not saying she's the perfect person, but I don't feel I can make anyone truly happy. It doesn't help that I developed what seems to be anxiety apparently out of the blue recently. Yet I can still tolerate everything that's bringing me down and my grades are fine. Maybe having parents that survived wars can do that to you.

 

*Sigh* I feel like I'm living Welcome to the NHK except without a stalker-ish, manipulative woman, a perverted otaku friend, pyramid schemes, dropping out of college, and hallucinations. Oh, look, a talking purple cat.

[Fred Castellum]

Here are the three things you should do in your pursuit.

 

1) Have Confidence.

At least a little. You want to be comfortable. I know this can be hard, especially for you younger kids (it never really gets a lot easier). Just be sure of yourself. Maybe practice talking to her using your reflection, or a pet. If you have someone you really REALLY trust, practice talking with them. You don't have to blurt out a sonnet when you approach her, just say simple things like "hi," "how are you," and then see if she wants to keep talking. If you sense it, the words will come. After you feel more comfortable, maybe mention "you look nice today." Smile, and if she smiles, tell her you like her smile. Simple compliments like this go a long way. Remember, at 13, EVERYBODY has insecurities about themselves. Including her. A compliment may make her day!

 

2) Smell Nice.

Seriously, if you groom yourself well on a daily basis, you will have an advantage 95% of all other teenage boys don't have. Deodorant is not a substitute for soap (but use it anyway). If you have a cologne, never use more than 1 (ONE) spray. Less is More. You want to be smelled up close, not 100 yards away. You want to smell of soap, fresh laundry, and maybe a tiny bit of whatever cologne you have. Never use Axe. Never use English Leather. They're terrible.

 

3) Be Yourself.

This is the best advice I can give. Don't hide who you are. Don't exaggerate, don't lie. Yeah, that's about it.

^ This so MUCH...

 

Be yourself and get your personal hygiene down on a daily basis, or you'll be disgusted at even yourself.  

[Fred Castellum]

Good to see you've got your priorities right. Some advice for you, grow up. You clearly lack the maturity to handle a relationship. Kids......

Lol maybe OP's must have requirement is asian. Theirs this culture argument among asians themselves about marrying into foreign families.

And how foreign people are focusing and targeting asians because they find them more attractive and desirable than other races. 

 

But hey if you love each other do what you want and live happy. 

[FloRolf]

You still have a chance mate! Its not over!

Yeah well in my case its quite different. I've known her for around 9 years now but we are better friends for around one year now. I want to text her so bad but i dont know what to talk about then so i just wait for her to text me (which happens rarely)

[Fred Castellum]

Yeah, Hyouka's great and Chitanda's eyes are so captivating...

 

It's not a lack of self-confidence, but just an intense negative view on myself. Presentations, talking to people, etc., that's fine, but my thoughts always reflect negatively towards me. It's just thinking of her and how wonderful she is and then looking back at myself and feeling completely worthless to her. I'm not saying she's the perfect person, but I don't feel I can make anyone truly happy. It doesn't help that I developed what seems to be anxiety apparently out of the blue recently. Yet I can still tolerate everything that's bringing me down and my grades are fine. Maybe having parents that survived wars can do that to you.

 

*Sigh* I feel like I'm living Welcome to the NHK except without a stalker-ish, manipulative woman, a perverted otaku friend, pyramid schemes, dropping out of college, and hallucinations. Oh, look, a talking purple cat.

How about instead of thinking about how you are worthless to her try to shape yourself into someone you can be satisfied being first? After you do that and progressively change your negative view on yourself so you can make yourself happy, because how are you going to give someone else happiness if you can't give it to yourself in the slightest? After your satisfied with changing your own self image, then you can begin shaping yourself into a individual you think she'd find worthwhile to be with. Don't make assumptions your worthless to her without actually knowing what she thinks! This is a vital part, remember assumptions can severely hinder you in many aspects of life, be open minded and ready to think and look at things from a different perspective.

 

I love Hyouka its my personal favorite series, oreki that bastard....

Never seen Welcome to NHK is it any good? 

 

Yeah well in my case its quite different. I've known her for around 9 years now but we are better friends for around one year now. I want to text her so bad but i dont know what to talk about then so i just wait for her to text me (which happens rarely)

Haha we humans are happy when someone else communicates with use outta the blue. What hurts the most is not reaching out and doing anything. 

[Murdoch]

The OP is 13? So the recommendation of get her drunk is probably out of the question?

 

This forum makes me feel old.

[dizmo]

Honestly, I'm your stereotypical, doesn't get out much kind of guy that people can befriend, but almost know nothing about. I only see her in school - close to college, so I'm not that young - and that's like what? Barely an hour? What the hell? You'd think if this happens for years, it'd go away, but it always comes back and stronger than ever. The most I get with talking is awkward small talk. I've said nothing about it to anyone except here, but I bet it's painfully obvious since one of her friends asked me who I liked since I was and still am trying to live that loner life, and immediately, she says her name. I said no right as she walked up to me. That was a few years ago, but trying saying crap like that right in front someone you love. I said it and I regret it as much as I stand by it. Oh, and I do see and talk to other women, so she's not the only woman in my life, by the way.

 

Yeah, she's a great friend... but why? Why do I love her?

 

Anyway, as a self-loathing, pessimistic, almost-nihilistic jackass who wants to live alone, but accompanied by friends and is human so therefore he will fall in love and suffer, don't do what I did. Just follow your heart. I've been killing my heart, soul, and body (instincts) for years.

You're also no where near old! Compared to me you're killer young.

I'd just avoid her to be honest. Sometimes it sucks but it's best to move on. Just remember the good times.

Trust me, I've got it much, much worse than you do.

Love is a funny, fickle thing. You'll love it and hate it all at the same time.

I'm sure you're a wonderful chap! There are a lot of girls out there, and there's tons that will fall for ya. Don't lose hope.

 

 

Here are the three things you should do in your pursuit.

 

1) Have Confidence.

 

2) Smell Nice.

 

3) Be Yourself.

 

I could not have put it better myself! Very well said, and all extremely important. You'd be surprised how much smelling nice can do. Invest in some really nice, subtle colognes and don't put too much on.

Or, if you have a nice natural scent. You can also just rock a nice fabric softener, or a subtle deodorant.

Also, don't spray the cologne close. It's supposed to mist. Spray it on your bare chest, as it's also activated by body heat, it's basically useless on your clothing.

 

I've become quite good at faking confidence. Something you'll learn as you grow older, is to not give a fuck what anyone else thinks. Don't be afraid to be yourself, to get out there.

Everyone makes mistakes. Kids pick them out and use them as a weapon, but if you can brush it off and laugh at yourself it disarms them.

 

@aesrock that's not even remotely funny, and if you were being serious, that's just sad. What a horrible thing to even suggest.

 

@MyInnerFred I wonder if it is a requirement or if he just finds Asians really attractive. Filipinos? Oh man. Asian + Spanish, my two favorite backgrounds. :wub:

[HerEscutcheon]

Good to see you've got your priorities right. Some advice for you, grow up. You clearly lack the maturity to handle a relationship. Kids......

He's 13. He lacks the experience and wisdom that comes from years of trying and learning about what it is he REALLY needs in a relationship. Can you say you had the right priorities when you were his age? When I was 13, mine involved eyes, butts, and if they liked Sega Genesis.

[Ruostunut kokis]

I don't think he's looking for a serious relationship as much as he...wants someone to like him. Or feel that he can be liked.

Now that sounds kind of mean! I don't mean it to, it's part of growing up.

Even if they did get together, it doesn't have to be a serious relationship to be loads of fun and a great learning experience.

Yes, that indeed is part of growing up at that age, the feel of being liked and accepted by more people / bigger community than just few friends. Also part of growing up at that age is accepting more friends of the opposite gender. It might come later in life (or very rarely never), but it will come sooner or later, mostly at the teenage years. Been there and it had already happened to me.

 

 

 

It's not nearly impossible. It's never impossible. Always believe!

I've had a few girls contact me years out of high school, saying how they always wanted to get to know me better.

I've had relationships with girls that I was friends with for years. Things change.

I didn't catch that her friends hating him, that's a definite...obstacle.

Trust me. At some point, with enough knowledge about one's bad sides, it get's impossible.

 

Like for me, I've had a crush on one girl since the last grade in middle school, and now were both in the same high school. I've already told about that in few threads, but if you haven't read it / don't remember it, I'm just gonna skip that. The point being: she, with few people that have come here, have been my classmates since the very first grade in elementary school. That's enough time for them to know everything that's bad about me (I was really dumb from 1st grade to 7th grade. From the 8th grade and onwards, I've been less dumb): I've done bad things in school in the past, they know it and for that reason they don't want to be even just friends. They don't hate me either, but they just flat-out ignore me.

 

Now there's another girl which I also like a bit too much, one year older than me and on her 2nd year in high school. Now there's another problem: my ''fame'' (''fame'' being knowledge about how bad I've been in the past), has reached this whole high school I attend to (small school, so almost everyone knows each other one way or another), and thus makes it again impossible to do anything. In the area where I study and live, I'm pretty much done on this front: no more chances to get even simply just friends. Luckily none of the students hate me, but neither do they like me.

 

Now you might say I'm just being silly or pessimistic, I am, but that's pretty much how these things are for me now.

[Murdoch]

 

@aesrock that's not even remotely funny, and if you were being serious, that's just sad. What a horrible thing to even suggest.

 

 

 

Wow, aren't you a sensitive one. Ofc it was a joke. But you fail to realise that alcohol is extensively used by adults as a social lubricant, to break through all those silly barriers we build up over the years.

[Fred Castellum]

 

@MyInnerFred I wonder if it is a requirement or if he just finds Asians really attractive. Filipinos? Oh man. Asian + Spanish, my two favorite backgrounds. :wub:

Lol I'm actually asian, stop taking all our women!!!! /joke

 

So pretty much it's a supermarket out there? Just get a list and find the criteria. I find it ironic, even if he (OP) isn't looking for a serious relationship I bet he'll cry like a little baby when they seperate. Don't they realize that they may hurt someone's feelings or have them hurt. If you're not doing it for serious long term goals, than why do it?

I probably sound like a grouch but come on, grow up fir crying out loud. Relationships aren't a game or something you test out and gain experience from.

You certainly gain experience from being in relationships... and being in a long term or short term relationship depends on the people... 

You do know there are people out there who just want to have some fun being in a short term relationship right? Some people live for the thrill of things. Different people different perspectives, live your life the way you see fit and other people with do the same with theirs. 

[Fred Castellum]

Wow, aren't you a sensitive one. Ofc it was a joke. But you fail to realise that alcohol is extensively used by adults as a social lubricant, to break through all those silly barriers we build up over the years.

To be fair without context the younger people won't know what you mean exactly  

[cafe]

1. Stop being a pansy and talk to her

2. use the whole time of talk as information gathering and "bonding"

3. if you have enough information to tell if you reaaaaaaally like her, try to get a good mood going and ask her on a date...

 

the longer you put it off from the time you first talk seriously the harder it will be to ask

and once you hit deep friendship, you will have already lost all your confidence, because you clearly haven't done it before so you prolly wont understand how to cope with "changing" the relationship

 

so just suck it up and confess... but before you do, give her a reason to say yes, if she knows nothing about you, then what is the point?

 

 

Isn't this simple teenager stuff? I mean.. bro

[Hidden Orange]

How about instead of thinking about how you are worthless to her try to shape yourself into someone you can be satisfied being first? After you do that and progressively change your negative view on yourself so you can make yourself happy, because how are you going to give someone else happiness if you can't give it to yourself in the slightest? After your satisfied with changing your own self image, then you can begin shaping yourself into a individual you think she'd find worthwhile to be with. Don't make assumptions your worthless to her without actually knowing what she thinks! This is a vital part, remember assumptions can severely hinder you in many aspects of life, be open minded and ready to think and look at things from a different perspective.

 

I love Hyouka its my personal favorite series, oreki that bastard....

Never seen Welcome to NHK is it any good? 

 

Haha we humans are happy when someone else communicates with use outta the blue. What hurts the most is not reaching out and doing anything. 

Eh, I've been inspired by Andy McKee to take up guitar again, I just need to find time. Doctor Ross's Mad Squirrel and Billy Joel's Piano Man inspired me to learn the harmonica; the set's setting there in dust. I don't have a lot of passions and whatever passions I did have died out, yet I cling to them since I don't want to be an empty shell. I guess those would be time management and finding/keeping passions.

 

Welcome to the NHK is a story about a hikikomori who suffers from delusions, social anxiety, and overall, fear. One fair warning: the manga is drastically different compared to the novel and anime which is based on the novel. Weird twist, huh? I watched it during one of my more depressing days and it just speaks to be. Basically, it's a "you're a loser, now do you want to continue living like this or do you change?" I want to change, but I'm lazy.

 

Also, like my math teacher said about assuming: it makes an ass out of you and me.

 

You're also no where near old! Compared to me you're killer young.

I'd just avoid her to be honest. Sometimes it sucks but it's best to move on. Just remember the good times.

Trust me, I've got it much, much worse than you do.

Love is a funny, fickle thing. You'll love it and hate it all at the same time.

I'm sure you're a wonderful chap! There are a lot of girls out there, and there's tons that will fall for ya. Don't lose hope.

Dude, she's my friend. I don't want to just leave her for no apparent reason. Also, my love for her is probably blinding me already from others.

[HerEscutcheon]

Relationships aren't ... something you test out and gain experience from.

Umm... What? There's so much wrong with that sentence...

[cafe]

To be fair without context the younger people won't know what you mean exactly  

he already has all the barriers he shouldn't have lol

this is how teenagers are nowadays... kinda sad

 

Be strong as their sempai!

[Fred Castellum]

-snip-

Do what you want, if people want to judge you solely on your past and not your present self then their narrow minded. Not everyone judges people by looking at their past, if you change your present self people are bound to notice. In fact people may even applaud you for improving yourself as a person, when they compare you now to how you were in the past!

 

You guys should seriously be happy you even have a crush on someone, I've never met anyone I'd want to be in a relationship with myself. Nope Nada, My past relationship was somewhat one sided and it made me feel pretty bad so I ended it. I'm quite indecisive in many things. 

NEVER GIVE UP!

[dizmo]

He's 13. He lacks the experience and wisdom that comes from years of trying and learning about what it is he REALLY needs in a relationship. Can you say you had the right priorities when you were his age? When I was 13, mine involved eyes, butts, and if they liked Sega Genesis.

You learn more from experience than anything else. As Julius Caesar said 'experience is the teacher of all things'.

Haha, 13? I'm 28 and my priorities are still pretty much eyes, butts and video games.

Though not so much of the latter anymore. I'll settle for nice style.

 

Now you might say I'm just being silly or pessimistic, I am, but that's pretty much how these things are for me now.

That actually makes a lot of sense, and reputations are hard to bounce. I know that all too well. I was known as a player at my last job, because all the girls at work went out of their way to talk to me (I know that sounds like I'm tooting my own horn, but it's the truth. It was awkward. I don't even understand why, there's nothing remotely interesting about me). As a result a lot of noobs were "warned" about me. Even though most of the time it wasn't even me instigating anything!

People forgive and forget. We all have pasts. Your situation is a little rough though I'll give you that.

High school though right? A year or two after you leave it you'll realize how completely trivial it is.

 

 

Wow, aren't you a sensitive one. Ofc it was a joke. But you fail to realise that alcohol is extensively used by adults as a social lubricant, to break through all those silly barriers we build up over the years.

Haha, true. I don't fail to realize it at all. I'm probably much older than you think.

I'm sure you can fathom why that can be taken the wrong way. It's the internet, it's hard to tell.

 

 

Lol I'm actually asian, stop taking all our women!!!! /joke

 

That's what the majority Filipino fill crew said when I started hanging out with one

I can't help it!

Better yet, have any single friends?

[Akolyte]

I'm a wimp and a total nerd.  I can't talk to any girl, even though theres one thats really nice and really pretty...  I just can't.  My advice is to be oposite to me.  :'(

[cafe]

Umm... What? There's so much wrong with that sentence...

what he is saying is dating shouldn't be taken so lightly

because if you do, you are kind of a shitty person...

 

dating halfheartedly is for douche bags who have an over inflated outer confidence with a low self esteem 

 

I mean... why do it? 

[dizmo]

Dude, she's my friend. I don't want to just leave her for no apparent reason. Also, my love for her is probably blinding me already from others.

I'm sure if you explained it she'd understand. Even if it was just for a bit to get yourself sorted so that you can be around her without feeling hurt.

You've got to look after yourself first and foremost. Easier said than done, I know, and trust me, me saying that is really hypocritical.

 

 

I'm a wimp and a total nerd.  I can't talk to any girl, even though theres one thats really nice and really pretty...  I just can't.  My advice is to be oposite to me.  :'(

One of the most helpful things that I can tell you for that is this: Girls are just people. Even the really pretty ones. They all have insecurities, and honestly the really pretty ones are, a lot of the time, even more self conscious and worried about what others think of them. They just hide it well. I know a lot of bombshell girls who are actually the most down to earth people once you get to know them.

You'd be surprised how many people fake confidence.