How can I get a girl to like me?

[Fred Castellum]

That's what the majority Filipino fill crew said when I started hanging out with one

I can't help it!

Better yet, have any single friends?

HA thats implying I have that many friends LOL

 

single female friends? That I know in real life not* off the net? Just one and we don't even talk... maybe like once a year during planned events. 

[dizmo]

what he is saying is dating shouldn't be taken so lightly

because if you do, you are kind of a shitty person...

 

dating halfheartedly is for douche bags who have an over inflated outer confidence with a low self esteem 

 

I mean... why do it? 

I find most people date when they honestly should just hang out.

Nothing wrong with a guy and a girl hanging out without having any kind of title.

Then there's the whole "casual dating". It almost just seems like a way to get the guy to pay for the night! Never understood that.

I'll only be someone's boyfriend if I'm extremely interested.

 

@MyInnerFred I guess I shouldn't really ask such things since I don't even know how old you are. That could get real awkward real fast haha!

[Murdoch]

Haha, true. I don't fail to realize it at all. I'm probably much older than you think.

I'm sure you can fathom why that can be taken the wrong way. It's the internet, it's hard to tell.

 

 

My apologies, in hindsight it did sound a little 'rapey' haha.

 

I just meant there's so much opportunity to interact with girls at high school / college age. And for those that are a bit shy or whatever, alcohol is a godsend (when the time comes), it worked wonders for myself.

[Fred Castellum]

I find most people date when they honestly should just hang out.

Nothing wrong with a guy and a girl hanging out without having any kind of title.

Then there's the whole "casual dating". It almost just seems like a way to get the guy to pay for the night! Never understood that.

I'll only be someone's boyfriend if I'm extremely interested.

 

@MyInnerFred I guess I shouldn't really ask such things since I don't even know how old you are. That could get real awkward real fast haha!

Same I'd avoid being in a relationship with someone unless I'm actually interested. 

My age? Well you can't be below 18 and work as a self employed Day Trader am I right? lol, check my profile for my age.

[dizmo]

My apologies, in hindsight it did sound a little 'rapey' haha.

 

I just meant there's so much opportunity to interact with girls at high school / college age. And for those that are a bit shy or whatever, alcohol is a godsend (when the time comes), it worked wonders for myself.

Haha, I also apologize for taking it that way. It's just one of the very few things that really, really piss me off.

Having a few friends call you crying to come rescue them can have that affect, though.

 

Dude. I missed out huge. I wasn't interested, at all, in high school. I had a few girlfriends, but between hanging out with one or going on a ride with some buddies? Give me my bike. One said choose mountain biking or me, and I laughed. "Well hun, I can ride that whenever I want. So. See ya."

So much missed opportunity. Yet, I'm happy with the way it turned out.

 

Not gonna lie I've taken a few shots before some nervous first dates. It's a delicate balance though, can't get caught!

 

@MyInnerFred Haha, ehhhh that's still a little young for my liking.

[Murdoch]

Shall we petition Linus to make a 'Linus Relationship Tips' YouTube channel?

[Fred Castellum]

Shall we petition Linus to make a 'Linus Relationship Tips' YouTube channel?

Haha he'll get sued 

[Fred Castellum]

Welcome to the NHK is a story about a hikikomori who suffers from delusions, social anxiety, and overall, fear. One fair warning: the manga is drastically different compared to the novel and anime which is based on the novel. Weird twist, huh? I watched it during one of my more depressing days and it just speaks to be. Basically, it's a "you're a loser, now do you want to continue living like this or do you change?" I want to change, but I'm lazy.

Thanks for the info I'll give it a go sometime bud. 

[Hidden Orange]

Shall we petition Linus to make a 'Linus Relationship Tips' YouTube channel?

He has cat tips, tech tips, and he's married. Why the hell not? If he's in a stable relationship, then we should demand to have advice from him and Yvonne. Also, Linus Baby Tips, too.

[Ruostunut kokis]

Do what you want, if people want to judge you solely on your past and not your present self then their narrow minded. Not everyone judges people by looking at their past, if you change your present self people are bound to notice. In fact people may even applaud you for improving yourself as a person, when they compare you now to how you were in the past!

These students here aren't narrow minded. They're actually really open for new / unknown people and unlike teenagers in my home village, they never bully anyone. The problem clearly is in me and not them. We can all communicate by talking, no problem, but getting friends? I'm not worth it.

 

For OP: sorry for derailing the thread.

[Akolyte]

I'm sure if you explained it she'd understand. Even if it was just for a bit to get yourself sorted so that you can be around her without feeling hurt.

You've got to look after yourself first and foremost. Easier said than done, I know, and trust me, me saying that is really hypocritical.

One of the most helpful things that I can tell you for that is this: Girls are just people. Even the really pretty ones. They all have insecurities, and honestly the really pretty ones are, a lot of the time, even more self conscious and worried about what others think of them. They just hide it well. I know a lot of bombshell girls who are actually the most down to earth people once you get to know them.

You'd be surprised how many people fake confidence.

yeah. Thanks. I'm still a nerd...

[Fred Castellum]

These students here aren't narrow minded. They're actually really open for new / unknown people and unlike teenagers in my home village, they never bully anyone. The problem clearly is in me and not them. We can all communicate by talking, no problem, but getting friends? I'm not worth it.

 

For OP: sorry for derailing the thread.

Your the one thinking your not worth it right? You can't read their minds, don't make such assumptions. If they really do think your not worth it then that's narrow mindedness right there. Find people who'll accept you for who you are, their out there. 

[dizmo]

yeah. Thanks. I'm still a nerd...

Don't worry. You know how people always say that nerds move on to get great jobs and the jocks, popular people and such usually (say 7/10) don't amount to much?

Yeah. It's true.

[Fred Castellum]

Don't worry. You know how people always say that nerds move on to get great jobs and the jocks, popular people and such usually (say 7/10) don't amount to much?

Yeah. It's true.

Lol I can confirm.... I know someone who now works in the "food industry" and was a former jock.... 

[Fred Castellum]

I really can't see what's wrong with that. Young peopke these days view relationships as frivolous exercises to either show off or get off, don't tell me that's not true either because I've seen and heard it countless times.

What happened to courting the girl/guy, spending time with family and friends. Observing how him/her treats family and admiring their standards and qualities like empathy, love, understanding. You don't need to be in countless relationships before hand to know they're the kind of qualities you want and how you go about courting properly.

Let me guess though, that's not cool or is too in the past? That's whats wrong with this topic. If you aren't old enough to drive or have a full time job, you shouldn't be messing with the feelings of someone else unless you have a long term goal in mind.

1. Young people have been showing off like that forever now. 

2. This is still very prominent, and regardless of what anyone does is a vital part of a good relationship and connection between family members. 

3. I partially agree with you here, somethings should come first.... You should be worrying about other things at such a young age instead of trying to get into a relationship for whatever reason. Not messing around with others feelings unless you have a long term goal in mind? Unfortunately that's not something we can fix, it'll be around forever though it would be nice if that was everyone's mindset IMO.  

[Ruostunut kokis]

Your the one thinking your not worth it right? You can't read their minds, don't make such assumptions. If they really do think your not worth it then that's narrow mindedness right there. Find people who'll accept you for who you are, their out there. 

I'm making assumptions, yes. But that's because how the other students look and act like once I get in the vicinity. Once I've spoken something, they give me the weird look on their faces and answer in a awkward sounding tone (to indicate I'm awkward) like "o...kay?". It happens quite often. That's also one of the reasons why I think that they think that I'm not worthy enough to be friended.

[Fred Castellum]

I'm making assumptions, yes. But that's because how the other students look and act like once I get in the vicinity. Once I've spoken something, they give me the weird look on their faces and answer in a awkward sounding tone (to indicate I'm awkward) like "o...kay?". It happens quite often. That's also one of the reasons why I think that they think that I'm not worthy enough to be friended.

Is there something wrong with your presentation when you speak? 

[dizmo]

I really can't see what's wrong with that. Young peopke these days view relationships as frivolous exercises to either show off or get off, don't tell me that's not true either because I've seen and heard it countless times.

What happened to courting the girl/guy, spending time with family and friends. Observing how him/her treats family and admiring their standards and qualities like empathy, love, understanding. You don't need to be in countless relationships before hand to know they're the kind of qualities you want and how you go about courting properly.

Let me guess though, that's not cool or is too in the past? That's whats wrong with this topic. If you aren't old enough to drive or have a full time job, you shouldn't be messing with the feelings of someone else unless you have a long term goal in mind.

While I agree with a lot of what you're saying, I think it's also pretty normal now for younger people to experiment with relationships. It's how you get to know what you like, what you don't, stuff like that.

At 20 - 21 you're likely not looking for something extremely long lasting. Well, not everyone. There are of course exceptions.

As for the courting thing, times change. These days kids want instant results, and they're less likely to be willing to invest time in something like that before reaching their usual end goal of in the pants action.

While I agree you don't need to be in countless relationships, it doesn't always work out. Maybe you go through a bunch before you realize that hey, I really don't like that trait in a person. So I'm not going to go for that kind of person again.

There are countless reasons why relationships don't work out.

 

Let's face it, a huge majority of people a lot of the time just want someone to pal around with. I've had relationships like this. They're awesome. Not fwb, but we were definitely more than friends.

Not everyone is made for long term situations. We are all different, and unique.

 

 

Lol I can confirm.... I know someone who now works in the "food industry" and was a former jock.... 

Most of the popular kids I went to school are like that. Or, they don't work at all.

Then there's all the girls that got pregnant. Can't knock'em for it, but you know it wasn't their first choice.

 

 

I've gotta say, I'm impressed. This thread went from falling apart to back on the tracks. I fully expected it to derail with fedora comments.

Well done chaps. Hopefully the OP can take some lessons away from this.

[Fred Castellum]

Most of the popular kids I went to school are like that. Or, they don't work at all.

Then there's all the girls that got pregnant. Can't knock'em for it, but you know it wasn't their first choice.

 

 

I've gotta say, I'm impressed. This thread went from falling apart to back on the tracks. I fully expected it to derail with fedora comments.

Well done chaps. Hopefully the OP can take some lessons away from this.

I try my best to add quality content into whatever threads I'm in. 

[Sintezza]

Just ask her out to cinema or so do some cool things but allways stay your self.

[Ruostunut kokis]

Is there something wrong with your presentation when you speak? 

I talk kinda retarded-sounding like, slowishly and sluggishly, thanks to being mostly isolated from social life since the 2nd grade of elementary school and having a dysphasia (which causes slow development of speech). Also being in some, or any sort of group, just me being there makes them feel awkward. Just my presence... I clearly aren't accepted even just being quiet.

[Fred Castellum]

@dizmo @MyInnerFred I just think all of this kind of behaviour breeds a generation of youth who are confused about what it means to be in a relationship, twists their moral compass and hurt's the feeling's of alot of people who then go on to do the same to other's. They come to view relationships merely as something that we can jump in and out of without any consequences and leeds some frankly to be pretty selfish and to have a completely unrealistic viewpoint of "love". Even the word these day's has lost it's meaning.

 

Anyway. That's my 2cents. I won't change so there isn't any point of deliberating this.

I do agree, alot of the behaviors that our generation are portraying isn't good... and that the core concept of being in a relationship and loving one another has lost its meaning to some people.

Its a shame but there is only so much WE can do to help. Just carry on doing what you believe is right mate. Spread knowledge and try your best to give top notch advice. 

[dizmo]

Just ask her out to cinema or so do some cool things but allways stay your self.

Never the movies! It's easily one of the most anti social, cliche recommendations.

"Hey, wanna sit beside each other for a couple hours not talking in the dark?"

Haha. Great time, for sure, but I think it's better suggested once they've had some time in the light

 

Again please don't post unless your actually adding to the discussion... 

 

THAT is not adding anything to the discussion... It just makes you look bad. 

Quick! Get him! He's picking at the wheels that hold our train of sensible discussion on the tracks!

 

I try my best to add quality content into whatever threads I'm in. 

Duly recognized, good sir.

 

@dizmo @MyInnerFred I just think all of this kind of behaviour breeds a generation of youth who are confused about what it means to be in a relationship, twists their moral compass and hurt's the feeling's of alot of people who then go on to do the same to other's. They come to view relationships merely as something that we can jump in and out of without any consequences and leeds some frankly to be pretty selfish and to have a completely unrealistic viewpoint of "love". Even the word these day's has lost it's meaning.

 

Anyway. That's my 2cents. It won't change so there isn't any point of deliberating this.

I think it's great that you got your opinion out there, it's always good to get more than one view on a topic. Your points definitely aren't falling on deaf ears.

I, for one, think the word love has been absolutely destroyed. It's used way too often in relationships. Love is a very strong emotion, or should be. Whenever a girl tells me she loves me, I always cringe and tell her she can't possibly, as she (usually) hasn't known me long enough.

 

I usually leave my...conquests (for lack of a better word, it's almost 1am and I can't think) without a label. However, just because we were never dating, doesn't mean that either party can't be hurt.

It's just part of life, really.

[Fred Castellum]

I talk kinda retarded-sounding like, slowishly and sluggishly, thanks to being mostly isolated from social life since the 2nd grade of elementary school and having a dysphasia (which causes slow development of speech). Also being in some, or any sort of group, just me being there makes them feel awkward. Just my presence... I clearly aren't accepted even just being quiet.

There are a lot of things that effect people socially and are incurable, thankfully trouble with talking isn't one of them. 

I use to SUCK at talking to people in general, it was weird for me and the person I was talking. I was a shy guy and would stutter when talking at times, and I'm still kinda shy right now but I've improved my ability to talk to people in general. I improved slowly when I started working because not talking with customers is impossible. When you talk to complete strangers as a employee you have to sell a product, so it in a sense forced to me change my appearance and do my best to act like a salesman. I went to public places more often, simple things like talking to waiters, cashiers, managers, and whatnot helps lots!

 

 

Quick! Get him! He's picking at the wheels that hold our train of sensible discussion on the tracks!

 

Duly recognized, good sir.

 

I think it's great that you got your opinion out there, it's always good to get more than one view on a topic. Your points definitely aren't falling on deaf ears.

I, for one, think the word love has been absolutely destroyed. It's used way too often in relationships. Love is a very strong emotion, or should be. Whenever a girl tells me she loves me, I always cringe and tell her she can't possibly, as she (usually) hasn't known me long enough.

 

I usually leave my...conquests (for lack of a better word, it's almost 1am and I can't think) without a label. However, just because we were never dating, doesn't mean that either party can't be hurt.

It's just part of life, really.

Totally agree with you here, I'd never use the word love unless I actually love said person. The word love is suppose to carry alot of weight, its not a word to be just thrown around... or at least to me. If I say I love you, I reallyyyyyyyy mean it. If I like you I'll say I like you, but I'll never say I love you unless I really do. 

[Sintezza]

Well im a Girl my self, and i would like it wenn some one asked me out for the movies.