I need help.

[Ashiella]

So as a few of my friends here on the forum have seen from my most recent status-update I was suggested to just create a topic on the forum about it..

Caution, wall of text incoming.

I didn't feel like going to school one day I was feeling especially depressed, and my mom bit my cheek, about maybe a 2/10 on the pain scale about equal to a pinch of the cheeks that granny always does.

My mother knew that it was wrong and immediately scheduled an appointment with a school counselor, we went about 4 hours later ( I had been sleeping ), and the counselor asked both sides of the story, and how my mom wanted to enroll me into a better school for my situation ( I was failing 9th grade with little hope for passing so I needed credit recovery ). I exited the counselors room when asked and sat in the waiting room while they contacted the schools, one of which asked if I was violent, then the counselor supposedly breached the code of ethics and had said to the school what happened between me and my mom and said that my mother was violent. The school proceeded to call the police and they asked me what happened, now I didn't know that the state would press charges if I didnt so I said very clearly I didnt want any charges to be pressed and I wanted to go home that day after I told them everything that happened. My dad was called and I lived with him for about two months, he had control over my money and stole ~200$ from me, the money I was going to use to move out which consisted of a few loans for tech. ( Luckily all 3 of them said just keep it ) I moved back in with my mother after she had calmed down about the incident, I worked out with her that I didn't call the police ( which she thought I did ) and she had gone to a mental hospital for a few days and my older brother had moved back in ( he is 26 ) and nothing particularly interesting happened other than my brother just destroying my room and making everything dirty and unpresentable while I live in the living room. Then today happened. The police knocked on the door and arrested my mom for the incident that happened earlier. She got a mug shot ( so she cannot easily become a counselor which is her dream )and will have to spend money on an attorney for the chance she doesnt go to prison. My brother and mother are both verbally bulling me for telling the police what had happened. They believe it whole-heartedly to be my fault that this is happening. They are mad at me for not knowing something I was never told.

tl;dr

I'm 16 and my mother is going to kick me out of the house. My dad is homeless. I have no other family or friends that will take me in ( I asked ), and I'm clueless on what to do.

[Guest]

First of all I am so sorry this happened to you. Nobody should go through this, especially at 16 years old. 

 

In this situation you need to find basics, shelter, food etc. I suggest actually making an account on reddit and then posting on these subreddits: https://www.reddit.com/r/almosthomeless/?utm_source=amp&utm_medium=post_header

 

And 

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/homeless/

 

They will be able to give advice that I can't. I don't live in the states you see. 

 

My heart breaks that you have to go through this. Also your mom and brother are total fucking cunts, there, it needed to be said. 

 

You could try to really convince them that you really didn't know, if you think you can. Has she explicitly said she will kick you out? 

 

Best of luck. 

[Spotty]

1 hour ago, Ashiella said:

I'm 16 and my mother is going to kick me out of the house. My dad is homeless. I have no other family or friends that will take me in ( I asked ), and I'm clueless on what to do.

In situations like this, where you are still a minor and neither parent can provide adequate care for you and there are no family/adults who are willing to provide care for you, you will be placed in to state care or foster care. I'm actually surprised that whatever form of social/child protective services your country/state have weren't also present when your mother was arrested. Perhaps your older brother has already agreed to take you in to his care? This is something that you should discuss with him as he is an adult and he is immediate family, so is capable of taking legal responsibility for you. Given that he resides in the same address as you already, this would be the most likely situation if your father is deemed to be unfit to care for you (homeless). Your brother may need to prove that he is capable of providing for you and caring for you, such as proving an appropriate residence and source of income (depending on circumstances, even just social security may be enough).

 

The school has a responsibility to take any acts of violence against children that they are made aware of seriously, and report that information to the appropriate authorities. The state or police department obviously felt that the situation was serious enough to pursue, so have done so.

 

Quote

I hate the government. #2

Apparently bail is unavailable for some time, and were kinda almost outta food and needed to go to the store.. and now I'm not going to get enrolled in school for a while... smh.

When is your mothers court date set for? Is she currently in jail awaiting her court date or has she since been bailed out?

[wasab]

8 hours ago, Ashiella said:

So as a few of my friends here on the forum have seen from my most recent status-update I was suggested to just create a topic on the forum about it..

Caution, wall of text incoming.

I didn't feel like going to school one day I was feeling especially depressed, and my mom bit my cheek, about maybe a 2/10 on the pain scale about equal to a pinch of the cheeks that granny always does.

My mother knew that it was wrong and immediately scheduled an appointment with a school counselor, we went about 4 hours later ( I had been sleeping ), and the counselor asked both sides of the story, and how my mom wanted to enroll me into a better school for my situation ( I was failing 9th grade with little hope for passing so I needed credit recovery ). I exited the counselors room when asked and sat in the waiting room while they contacted the schools, one of which asked if I was violent, then the counselor supposedly breached the code of ethics and had said to the school what happened between me and my mom and said that my mother was violent. The school proceeded to call the police and they asked me what happened, now I didn't know that the state would press charges if I didnt so I said very clearly I didnt want any charges to be pressed and I wanted to go home that day after I told them everything that happened. My dad was called and I lived with him for about two months, he had control over my money and stole ~200$ from me, the money I was going to use to move out which consisted of a few loans for tech. ( Luckily all 3 of them said just keep it ) I moved back in with my mother after she had calmed down about the incident, I worked out with her that I didn't call the police ( which she thought I did ) and she had gone to a mental hospital for a few days and my older brother had moved back in ( he is 26 ) and nothing particularly interesting happened other than my brother just destroying my room and making everything dirty and unpresentable while I live in the living room. Then today happened. The police knocked on the door and arrested my mom for the incident that happened earlier. She got a mug shot ( so she cannot easily become a counselor which is her dream )and will have to spend money on an attorney for the chance she doesnt go to prison. My brother and mother are both verbally bulling me for telling the police what had happened. They believe it whole-heartedly to be my fault that this is happening. They are mad at me for not knowing something I was never told.

tl;dr

I'm 16 and my mother is going to kick me out of the house. My dad is homeless. I have no other family or friends that will take me in ( I asked ), and I'm clueless on what to do.

 Well shit. You shouldve save some money up just for shitty emergency like this. You just need to do the next best thing and get some money quickly. 

 

Your mom doesn't seem to be in any mental capacity to raise any children. Your dad has no financial capability to support you either. I am really surprise how you were able to survive so long. Social workers should've taken you away before things got so out of hand. 

 

Go to your school offcials and inform them of the situation at home. They will have to find some accomodations or you are gonna be dropping out of school and wind up in the streets. 

 

Contact your local homeless shelter. If you dad is homeless, maybe you can learn a thing or two from him... 

 

Try get back on your feet. Homeless isn't a fun lifestyle. 

 

You still have internet access. Go start a fund me camapain. 

 

 

7 hours ago, Spotty said:

In situations like this, where you are still a minor and neither parent can provide adequate care for you and there are no family/adults who are willing to provide care for you, you will be placed in to state care or foster care. I'm actually surprised that whatever form of social/child protective services your country/state have weren't also present when your mother was arrested. Perhaps your older brother has already agreed to take you in to his care? This is something that you should discuss with him as he is an adult and he is immediate family, so is capable of taking legal responsibility for you. Given that he resides in the same address as you already, this would be the most likely situation if your father is deemed to be unfit to care for you (homeless). Your brother may need to prove that he is capable of providing for you and caring for you, such as proving an appropriate residence and source of income (depending on circumstances, even just social security may be enough).

 

The school has a responsibility to take any acts of violence against children that they are made aware of seriously, and report that information to the appropriate authorities. The state or police department obviously felt that the situation was serious enough to pursue, so have done so.

 

When is your mothers court date set for? Is she currently in jail awaiting her court date or has she since been bailed out?

You do know many children die in orphange run by the state right? 

 

Woot, just checked out op's profile and she seemed to have a nice gaming PC. Sell it for money? You are gonna need $$$ more than you need games to play ATM.

[Ashiella]

12 minutes ago, Spotty said:

In situations like this, where you are still a minor and neither parent can provide adequate care for you and there are no family/adults who are willing to provide care for you, you will be placed in to state care or foster care. I'm actually surprised that whatever form of social/child protective services your country/state have weren't also present when your mother was arrested. Perhaps your older brother has already agreed to take you in to his care? This is something that you should discuss with him as he is an adult and he is immediate family, so is capable of taking legal responsibility for you. Given that he resides in the same address as you already, this would be the most likely situation if your father is deemed to be unfit to care for you (homeless). Your brother may need to prove that he is capable of providing for you and caring for you, such as proving an appropriate residence and source of income (depending on circumstances, even just social security may be enough).

 

The school has a responsibility to take any acts of violence against children that they are made aware of seriously, and report that information to the appropriate authorities. The state or police department obviously felt that the situation was serious enough to pursue, so have done so.

 

When is your mothers court date set for? Is she currently in jail awaiting her court date or has she since been bailed out?

He doesnt want me, there is no income. I make more money buying/selling/trading tech than my mom does and possibly more than my brother does.

She was bailed from regular jail and sitll waiting court date for a possible prison sentence

9 minutes ago, wasab said:

 Well shit. You shouldve save some money up just for shitty emergency like this. You just need to do the next best thing and get some money quickly. 

 

Your mom doesn't seem to be in any mental capacity to raise any children. Your dad has no financial capability to support you either. I am really surprise how you were able to survive so long. Social workers should've taken you away before things got so out of hand. 

 

Go to your school offcials and inform them of the situation at home. They will have to find some accomodations or you are gonna be dropping out of school and wind up in the streets. 

 

Contact your local homeless shelter. If you dad is homeless, maybe you can learn a thing or two from him... 

 

Try get back on your feet. Homeless isn't a fun lifestyle. 

 

You still have internet access. Go start a fund me camapain. 

 

I have no idea where my dad is. and I'm not gonna be like him.

 

3 minutes ago, wasab said:

Woot, just checked out op's profile and she seemed to have a nice gaming PC. Sell it for money? You are gonna need $$$ more than you need games to play ATM.

That would be giving up on my dream. Which I'm not going to do.

[Spotty]

20 minutes ago, wasab said:

You do know many children die innorphange run by the state right? 

Err?
Plenty of children die in their own homes with their parents too. The vast majority are going to be fine. I think you're giving a bad rap to foster carers.
In this situation they would most likely be put in emergency foster carers home, which would typically be parent(s) with just a few children in their care at most - not a full state run orphanage. I've known several wonderful people who have provided emergency foster care, and typically it would be similar situations where the parents have been arrested or taken in to mental institutions/court ordered rehab and the children need emergency temporary care for periods of a few months, to maybe a few years, yet the ultimate goal is for the children to be reunited with the family. Orphanages are more for long term care (such as when parent(s) die or when the parents relinquish custody of the child and put them up for adoption) and until they can find a suitable person willing to adopt the child, or the child reaches maturity. It would be up to the social workers to decide what would be the best option for the child, and also based on the availability of foster carers at the time.

Regardless, if they are a minor they don't really have much of a choice.

 

23 minutes ago, wasab said:

Contact your local homeless shelter. If you dad is homeless, maybe you can learn a thing or two from him... 

Running away and living on the streets is not a sensible thing to recommend to a minor.

 

23 minutes ago, wasab said:

Well shit. You shouldve save some money up just for shitty emergency like this.

That's incredibly naive, and frankly rude to be blaming the OP for the situation they are in. It is clear that the person is a minor and is dependant on their parent as a provider. They have made no indication that they are employed, so it's safe to assume that they are not. Also, the OP did have some money saved up, however they state that their father took it from them. For a minor who is unemployed from a single parent or low income family, saving up $200 may not be an easy task.

1 hour ago, Ashiella said:

My dad was called and I lived with him for about two months, he had control over my money and stole ~200$ from me

[Ashiella]

3 minutes ago, Spotty said:

That's incredibly naive, and frankly rude to be blaming the OP for the situation they are in. It is clear that the person is a minor and is dependant on their parent as a provider. They have made no indication that they are employed, so it's safe to assume that they are not. Also, the OP did have some money saved up, however they state that their father took it from them. For a minor who is unemployed from a single parent or low income family, saving up $200 may not be an easy task.

I had $395 and I was selling a motherboard and cpu at that time for another $360 which after $200 was taken and I had to ship it for $50 the and last bits of the starting money -40 was used for food, that 40 and the 360$ was used for a 1080 hybrid for $400 as I expected everything to go allot smoother, some purchases like ram after selling my gpu and stuff later, my bank is at $1.06 and Im selling something that I needed to ship today which is obviously impossible.

[Skanky Sylveon]

1 hour ago, wasab said:

Woot, just checked out op's profile and she seemed to have a nice gaming PC. Sell it for money? You are gonna need $$$ more than you need games to play ATM.

The money that she would get is nowhere near enough to live off of, not even for a month.

[voiha]

Something doesn't add up or I'm missing something out, you lived with your dad for 2 months but he is homeless ? Where ? How did you go to school in that time of period how you had PC/internet connection ? 

Your mother bit you ? Like she was really close to you and she did it unintentionally or something happened in her brain so she started biting you ? I really don't understand how someone for example stays 2 m away and suddenly bites your face, explaining that in details would be good.

 

 

But still..

You're not in fault for the outcome of this situation, but the police restraining your mother and taking charges to her for biting where you just explained something but has nothing against in legal matter is something that can be easily escaped out and it's 100% not your fault. You're not a snitch you just has a .......... I'm not going to say stupid but....your mother should be more understanding and smart.

If everything is true and you're not trolling I am really sorry that you need to be in this situation. I also have to deal with family problems too. Everything will be better once you get a stable job and income, you will be much better on your own rather than being with your "family". and understand that they are trying to make you feel like the snitch, verbally abusing you just because they have low intellectual value and for them there is always something wrong, it's never them. Her financial state is like that because of her excuses for everything, don't let them make you think otherwise.

[Ashiella]

1 hour ago, voiha said:

Something doesn't add up or I'm missing something out, you lived with your dad for 2 months but he is homeless ? Where ? How did you go to school in that time of period how you had PC/internet connection ? 

Your mother bit you ? Like she was really close to you and she did it unintentionally or something happened in her brain so she started biting you ? I really don't understand how someone for example stays 2 m away and suddenly bites your face, explaining that in details would be good.

 

 

But still..

You're not in fault for the outcome of this situation, but the police restraining your mother and taking charges to her for biting where you just explained something but has nothing against in legal matter is something that can be easily escaped out and it's 100% not your fault. You're not a snitch you just has a .......... I'm not going to say stupid but....your mother should be more understanding and smart.

If everything is true and you're not trolling I am really sorry that you need to be in this situation. I also have to deal with family problems too. Everything will be better once you get a stable job and income, you will be much better on your own rather than being with your "family". and understand that they are trying to make you feel like the snitch, verbally abusing you just because they have low intellectual value and for them there is always something wrong, it's never them. Her financial state is like that because of her excuses for everything, don't let them make you think otherwise.

I had to move out of my dads house because he was out of money and I wasnt finna let him take any more of mine.

 

Yes. The second one. she climbed on my bed and was yelling and bit me.

 

She has PTSD and anything thats out of her control triggers it. So, yeah.

 

I mean, thats in two years, and I'm getting kicked out in like 7 days..

[voiha]

21 minutes ago, Ashiella said:

I had to move out of my dads house because he was out of money and I wasnt finna let him take any more of mine.

 

Yes. The second one. she climbed on my bed and was yelling and bit me.

 

She has PTSD and anything thats out of her control triggers it. So, yeah.

 

I mean, thats in two years, and I'm getting kicked out in like 7 days..

So your father lost his house, * Edit I didn't saw that he has a home you just moved out* **I guess you'll have to go at his place ? or that's a big no-no ? Try to talk with your mother 1 on 1 and explain the situation if possible before doing the next things I typed in my comment** and you'll be getting kicked out in 7 days. I think you can sue her in this situation but it's a lot of work, and in your situation is really hard. Check online where in your town area is a counseling for free. It's place where people can help you out with your current situation and advise you what you can do.

Else I don't know where you can go if there is 100% no place you can stay. With expensive PC and electronics you won't be really welcome into a homeless shelters or someone will just steal from you. And you're 16 you can't be just kicked out.

[wasab]

8 hours ago, Ashiella said:

 

 

That would be giving up on my dream. Which I'm not going to do.

What will you do with a gaming PC anyway when you are on the street? Can you eat your gtx 1080 for breakfast? 

[orbitalbuzzsaw]

Shit, dude. Reach out to friends and see if they can help and start selling stuff to get ready to leave if you have to

[wasab]

7 hours ago, Cinnabar Sonar said:

The money that she would get is nowhere near enough to live off of, not even for a month.

That PC sells upward of $1000+ especially with that 1080 cards in it and bunch of ssds. Enougho pay the rent for an entire month and more here in the USA assuming she isn't renting a mansion.

 

Enough time for op to like  interview at McDonald's and get a full time job. She is probably flopping school by now anyways. 

[wasab]

5 hours ago, Ashiella said:

I had to move out of my dads house because he was out of money and I wasnt finna let him take any more of mine.

 

Yes. The second one. she climbed on my bed and was yelling and bit me.

 

She has PTSD and anything thats out of her control triggers it. So, yeah.

 

I mean, thats in two years, and I'm getting kicked out in like 7 days..

You sure he was taking your money? I've been paying rent to my parents since 16 years old. (Although they pretty much return it all when I started college) That is just a formalized way of helping out the family.

 

If your dad need the money to make sure he and you aren't gonna be starving.... Well, $200 bucks is reasonable. 

[Ryujin2003]

I'd talk to a friend and their parents and see if they wouldn't mind taking you in for a bit. There should be community services such for the state, city, or town. The school should also be helping you.

 

The other idea, though a bit more hard, is to get emancipated. My cousin did it while she was having a rough family situation. Things worked out well for her in the end. What grade are you in? You'd need parental permission (or emancipation) to join the military under the age 19, but you'd also need either a GED or graduation diploma. That can definitely work in your favor. Paid, with insurance, 3 meals a day, bed and roof over your head.. Oh, and away from family.

 

But I'd talk to one of your friends and go from there. And find a social worker or something like that possibly. I don't know if that would cause issues with foster care or something stupid like that. Talk to your school and a friend's parents.

 

I wouldn't start selling all of your belongings quite yet. If you are literally sitting on the side of the street with your gaming PC, then you didn't do enough and we didn't help you enough before that point.

[MoonlightSylv]

21 minutes ago, wasab said:

You sure he was taking your money? I've been paying rent to my parents since 16 years old. (Although they pretty much return it all when I started college) That is just a formalized way of helping out the family.

 

If your dad need the money to make sure he and you aren't gonna be starving.... Well, $200 bucks is reasonable. 

Not everyone does that, from what she’s personally told me neither of her parents are very stable. I don’t have much else to comment though.

[wasab]

1 hour ago, Sylvie05 said:

Not everyone does that, from what she’s personally told me neither of her parents are very stable. I don’t have much else to comment though.

We don't know what her parents are spending on. Booze and drugs are no good but food and clothes are totally acceptable. 

[MoonlightSylv]

4 minutes ago, wasab said:

We don't know what her parents are spending on. Booze and drugs are no good but food and clothes are totally acceptable. 

I said in my op that I’ve personally talked to her. Besides if they took her money without permission that’s still not cool.

[Crunchy Dragon]

11 hours ago, Ashiella said:

That would be giving up on my dream. Which I'm not going to do.

I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.

 

You need the money you can get from selling that PC. You can always buy a new one later when you get your life back in shape.

[rcmaehl]

13 hours ago, Ashiella said:

-main post snip-

From the main post I'd like to mention several things. These are applicable to the USA ONLY:

 

Your Safety and Care:

• Your parents CAN NOT kick you out of the house as a minor. If they do contact a mandatory CPS reporter such as a doctor, counselor, non-emergency police line, or contact them yourself as well as the police either through an emergency or non-emergency line. Do not accept "this is a civil issue" as your are a minor and they are required by law to house and care for you. Since I don't see a state listed, google <your state> CPS
• Your parents CAN NOT abuse you while your still in their house. Once again, if they do contact a mandatory CPS reporter such as a doctor, counselor, non-emergency police line, or contact them yourself as well as the police either through an emergency or non-emergency line. Do not accept "this is a civil issue" as your are a minor.
• If for any reason you are forced out of your house and they will not let you back in you can contact the SAFEPLACE organization who will be able to take care of you temporarily and get you resources you need. Text SAFE and your current location (address, city, state) to 4HELP (44357) for immediate help.
• Depending on your state you may be entitled to victim advocate services, these include attorneys whose cost is covered by the state to help you in your situation. Look up <your state> victim advocate

Legal:

• You do not get to decide if charges are pressed, this is the decision of the District Attorney, you can appeal to them if you feel that the charges should be dropped, however they have the final say.

[Sauron]

Wow, that really sucks. I'm very sorry for you.

 

I'm not convinced your mother can legally kick a minor out of her house, but I also don't think it would be a good experience to keep living with her given the situation. I can only advise you to look for any job you can find and save as much money as possible  I agree with @Crunchy Dragon that if you're getting kicked out of your house, your pc should be the last of your priorities - when your situation stabilizes you can buy another one,

11 hours ago, Ashiella said:

That would be giving up on my dream. Which I'm not going to do.

I'm not sure what your dream is, but if it's studying computer science you don't need an expensive machine and by the time you can get in a university the situation will most likely have changed for you. If it's something like becoming a pro gamer, you won't be able to do it anyway if you're sleeping on the streets without a power outlet and no internet. Sell it, right now.

[wasab]

28 minutes ago, Sauron said:

Wow, that really sucks. I'm very sorry for you.

 

I'm not convinced your mother can legally kick a minor out of her house, but I also don't think it would be a good experience to keep living with her given the situation. I can only advise you to look for any job you can find and save as much money as possible  I agree with @Crunchy Dragon that if you're getting kicked out of your house, your pc should be the last of your priorities - when your situation stabilizes you can buy another one,

I'm not sure what your dream is, but if it's studying computer science you don't need an expensive machine and by the time you can get in a university the situation will most likely have changed for you. If it's something like becoming a pro gamer, you won't be able to do it anyway if you're sleeping on the streets without a power outlet and no internet. Sell it, right now.

Law doesn't matter. Her parents can kick her out. All it means is that she will become a ward of the state. Her mom is already arrested so what are the police gonna do? Arrest her twice? 

 

To be honest, her parents do not seem to be

capable of supporting themselves. They aren't gonna able to raise a child if they wanted to. 

 

If she does get taken into protective custody by the court, she had 2 years to figure out how to survive on her own before her care taker hands her her docnuents, ID, clothes, and kick her out as well on her 18th birthday.   

 

[rcmaehl]

17 minutes ago, wasab said:

Her parents can kick her out.

She is a minor and she is entitled to housing and care by law by her guardians. The state can assign other guardians and provides services during changes of guardians.

 

That being said, a tech forum is not an appropriate place for legal advice. @Ashiella needs to contact her state's victim advocate services for the help and advice she needs.

[wasab]

6 minutes ago, rcmaehl said:

She is a minor and she is entitled to housing and care by law by her guardians. The state can assign other guardians and provides services during changes of guardians.

 

That being said, a tech forum is not an appropriate place for legal advice. @Ashiella needs to contact her state's victim advocate services for the help and advice she needs.

Dude, if her mom is arrested, her father is homeless, how the hell are they gonna take care of her? If state has to intervene, it is obvious that her parents can and had disown her. 

 

I really find it interesting how you guys held laws in such high esteem. There are many children suffering abuse and vast majority of the perpetrators are never persecuted.