I need help.

[rcmaehl]

21 minutes ago, wasab said:

Dude, if her mom is arrested, her father is homeless, how the hell are they gonna take care of her? If state has to intervene, it is obvious that her parents can and had disown her. 

 

I really find it interesting how you guys held laws in such high esteem. There are many children suffering abuse and vast majority of the perpetrators are never persecuted. 

She needs to find out who is currently her guardian. I would assume her brother since he has moved in despite being abusive. So:

 

She needs to:

 

1. Stay at her guardians house

2. Report any abuse to the authorities and CPS (shit is gonna suck but the wheels of bureaucracy take a while for prosecution) 

3. Reach out to the government provided services for any assistance and legal help she needs

 

Sure the law can be a bit slow, but there are a LOT of assistance programs for minors and abuse victims. I will gladly constantly repeat that these are there and help with additional resources as additional information is available. I'd rather do that than:
 

 

Oh well, guess you'll just have to be homeless, starving, and abused - Wasab

 

 

Regardless of everything, we are here to help her. If you do not have constructive advice, please leave.

[wasab]

11 minutes ago, rcmaehl said:

 

Oh well, guess you'll just have to be homeless, starving, and abused - Wasab

No, I said she needs to sell that gaming PC and survive on the funds for a while before she gets her shit together. 

 

Studies had shown children who became ward of the state suffer higher chances of neglect, abuse, and risk of depression compare to regular children. 

 

Also, in the country I was borne in, children would often run away from state run orphanges because so many children die there before ever reaching age of 18. 

[rcmaehl]

23 minutes ago, wasab said:

No, I said she needs to sell that gaming PC and survive on the funds for a while before she gets her shit together. 

 

Studies had shown children who became ward of the state suffer higher chances of neglect, abuse, and risk of depression compare to regular children. 

 

Also, in the country I was borne in, children would often run away from state run orphanges because so many children die there before ever reaching age of 18. 

She can sell her PC yes. If it was an emergency I'd sell my own, excluding hard drives.

In regards to that study, while yes, it was high, a sample pool of 200 is extremely small, but have greatly helped the Foster Care system in the United States improved including additional oversight and escalation options.

 

Yes, this shit sucks bad, especially as the person being abused and I hope things in your country have improved.

[PlayStation 2]

I'm not pinning anything on you, nor am I trying to demonize you at all, but what the fuck is wrong with your family? Are you the only one in your family smart enough to not get into a life of idiocy or crime?

Honestly couldn't tell you what you can do. Your best bet is to sell some shit and attempt to get a job if shit really goes down and find someone who'll take you in if you can't get into foster care.

[wasab]

1 hour ago, rcmaehl said:

In regards to that study, while yes, it was high, a sample pool of 200 is extremely small, but have greatly helped the Foster Care system in the United States improved including additional oversight and escalation options.

 

 

In other words, foster care sucks so she should advoid it if she can. Agree or disagree, yay or nay. Everything else is besides the point. 

[wasab]

2 hours ago, rcmaehl said:

Yes, this shit sucks bad, especially as the person being abused and I hope things in your country have improved.

It didn't. Government is still using orphans for human experiements and training those physically fit into merciless killing mahine for the army or intelligence service. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, wasab said:

It didn't. Government is still using orphans for human experiements and training those physically fit into merciless killing mahine for the army or intelligence service. 

So penguin killing machines?

[Chaos_Sorcerer]

19 hours ago, Ashiella said:

-snip-

I feel like this might be a dumb question, but are there any relatives or parents of friends who would be willing to care for you? Any adult you trust that is within reach (a neighbour? teacher?)?

 

You might wanna repost in r/personalfinance or r/legaladvice for some better answers.

 

As others have mentioned, your best course of action is probably to contact police or social services. If your Mom is mentally unstable, trying to confront her in any way wouldn't be the best idea.

[Ashiella]

14 hours ago, voiha said:

So your father lost his house, * Edit I didn't saw that he has a home you just moved out* **I guess you'll have to go at his place ? or that's a big no-no ? Try to talk with your mother 1 on 1 and explain the situation if possible before doing the next things I typed in my comment** and you'll be getting kicked out in 7 days. I think you can sue her in this situation but it's a lot of work, and in your situation is really hard. Check online where in your town area is a counseling for free. It's place where people can help you out with your current situation and advise you what you can do.

Else I don't know where you can go if there is 100% no place you can stay. With expensive PC and electronics you won't be really welcome into a homeless shelters or someone will just steal from you. And you're 16 you can't be just kicked out.

He got kicked out when I moved out. He didnt have a job or any money so Im assuming wherever he is, that he is homeless.

 

...Yeah

9 hours ago, OrbitalBuzzsaw said:

Shit, dude. Reach out to friends and see if they can help and start selling stuff to get ready to leave if you have to

Tried... I'm not selling my pc though.

 

9 hours ago, wasab said:

You sure he was taking your money? I've been paying rent to my parents since 16 years old. (Although they pretty much return it all when I started college) That is just a formalized way of helping out the family.

 

If your dad need the money to make sure he and you aren't gonna be starving.... Well, $200 bucks is reasonable. 

You misunderstand. He was stealing it. I didnt approve any purchases he made with my debit card. I was also paying for food whenever I could use it, I couldnt make money either because I couldnt use my own debit card.. He used the money to buy a pack of cigarettes a day.

 

9 hours ago, Ryujin2003 said:

I'd talk to a friend and their parents and see if they wouldn't mind taking you in for a bit. There should be community services such for the state, city, or town. The school should also be helping you.

 

The other idea, though a bit more hard, is to get emancipated. My cousin did it while she was having a rough family situation. Things worked out well for her in the end. What grade are you in? You'd need parental permission (or emancipation) to join the military under the age 19, but you'd also need either a GED or graduation diploma. That can definitely work in your favor. Paid, with insurance, 3 meals a day, bed and roof over your head.. Oh, and away from family.

 

But I'd talk to one of your friends and go from there. And find a social worker or something like that possibly. I don't know if that would cause issues with foster care or something stupid like that. Talk to your school and a friend's parents.

 

I wouldn't start selling all of your belongings quite yet. If you are literally sitting on the side of the street with your gaming PC, then you didn't do enough and we didn't help you enough before that point.

They do mind. and then I'd have to give up my pc.
 

I just kinda wanna be normal..

Im not enrolled in school.

I guess.

6 hours ago, Crunchy Dragon said:

I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.

 

You need the money you can get from selling that PC. You can always buy a new one later when you get your life back in shape.

Heh, I'm really good at Siege, if I give it up now I likely wont have my skills back. So, I think Ill try every other option first.

[wasab]

1 hour ago, coolkingler1 said:

So penguin killing machines?

Yes. Imagine an army of penguins armed with AK47s. Government steals walruses babies too. These are conscripted into the navy. Experiments are done on human children though. 

[wasab]

47 minutes ago, Ashiella said:

He got kicked out when I moved out. He didnt have a job or any money so Im assuming wherever he is, that he is homeless.

 

...Yeah

Tried... I'm not selling my pc though.

 

You misunderstand. He was stealing it. I didnt approve any purchases he made with my debit card. I was also paying for food whenever I could use it, I couldnt make money either because I couldnt use my own debit card.. He used the money to buy a pack of cigarettes a day.

 

They do mind. and then I'd have to give up my pc.
 

I just kinda wanna be normal..

Im not enrolled in school.

I guess.

Heh, I'm really good at Siege, if I give it up now I likely wont have my skills back. So, I think Ill try every other option first.

you need to sell that gaming pc girl.

 

you dont need that pc

 

seriously, sell that pc before your brother takes it away from you and sell it for the money, booze, and drugs. 

Why did your father bother to steal $200 when he can take that pc of yours and sell it on ebay for $1000+ i wonder.

 

You arent enroll in school? thought you wanted to be normal. normal 16 year olds enrolled in school. talk with your mom over. listening to your story, it sounds pretty much like this. you decided to skip school. your mom finds out and bit you on the cheek which you said was about as painful as when your grandmom pinch you on the cheek(which is weird, i mean my mom would just beat the crap out of me if shes pissed. I am Asian) She then took you to school counselor to discuss enrolling you in another school cuz you were flopping your classes spectacularly and need to transfer so you can get "credits" and graduate on time.

 

you told counselor your mom was violent and blah blah blah

 

later cops show up, handcuff your mom and now she and your brother are pissed at you and threaten to throw you out. End of story

 

So talk with your mom and tell her not to bite you again and in turn, you get to stay in the house and tell the officers it is just all a big misunderstanding. Your mom gets some anger management session with a social worker. You then stay with her until you are 18 and she will then be legally allowed to kick you out,. life goes on. Problem solved. 

[Ashiella]

1 minute ago, wasab said:

you need to sell that gaming pc girl.

 

you dont need that pc

 

seriously, sell that pc before your brother takes it away from you and sell it for the money, booze, and drugs. 

Why did your father bother to steal $200 when he can take that pc of yours and sell it on ebay for $1000+ i wonder.

 

You arent enroll in school? thought you wanted to be normal. normal 16 year olds enrolled in school. talk with your mom over. listening to your story, it sounds pretty much like this. your mom bites you on the cheek which you said was about as painful as when your grandmom pinch you on the cheek(which is weird, i mean my mom would just beat the crap out of me if shes pissed. I am Asian) She then took you to school counselor to discuss enrolling you in another school cuz you were flopping your classes spectacularly and need to transfer so you can get "credits" and graduate on time.

 

you told counselor your mom was violent and blah blah blah

 

later cops show up, handcuff your mom and now she and your brother are pissed at you and threaten to throw you out. End of story

 

So talk with your mom and tell her not o pinch you again and in turn, you get to stay in the house and tell the officers it is just all a big misunderstanding. Your mom gets some anger management session with a social worker. You then stay with her until you are 18 and she will then be legally allowed to kick you out,. life goes on. Problem solved. 

Just stop talking.

[NTDaws]

Do you have the ability to get a job anywhere? I'm wouldn't be sure if you are legal to work. I can only.think of living with a friend or finding a foster family. I would think you would get to choose who.

[Ashiella]

4 hours ago, Being Delirious said:

Do you have the ability to get a job anywhere? I'm wouldn't be sure if you are legal to work. I can only.think of living with a friend or finding a foster family. I would think you would get to choose who.

I can legally work full-time, its the trouble of finding a place that'd hire me.

[SpaceGhostC2C]

Let me just give you a heads up you may or may not need:

 

When posting such a matter in a forum like this, it's going to get read, and replied to, by people with and without similar experiences, people who know what they talk about and people without a clue, people with their feet on the ground and people who watched too many movies, older grownups and kids younger than you, people in your country and foreigners from around the globe, people who want to help and natural born trolls. And we all show up under the same guise of ridiculous nicknames and profile pics.

 

Hence, whatever you read, and whatever reaction it causes on you, keep in mind that it may be the advice of a social worker on your hometown, but also the rants of a 13 years old Swedish troll with too much free time, so have your filters up, think any seemingly good idea twice, and focus on what's useful. Ignore the rest.

[aezakmi]

staying on topic I have a friend that was in a similar situation, no parents or anything, kicked out of a boarding school (I think that's how it's called in english, where kids with no family go and live/study there) when she was 16 because of her behaviour, was homeless for a while, lived in some refuges, found work as a maid/babysitter, went to highschool (free) and finished it

[wasab]

4 minutes ago, aezakmi said:

why did OP's mom bit her cheek? sounds weird, for me, idk if that's normal somewhere else

 

staying on topic I have a friend that was in a similar situation, no parents or anything, kicked out of a boarding school (I think that's how it's called in english, where kids with no family go and live/study there) when she was 16 because of her behaviour, was homeless for a while, lived in some refuges, found work as a maid/babysitter, went to highschool (free) and finished it

Your friend was fortunate. I know a person who dropped out of school at age 16 and had been living on his in ever since. 

 

On another note, op reminds me very much of my own little sister. We have 10 years age difference between us as well. My mom sometimes also do werid things when she gets physical, like one time grabbing my sis by the neck and threw her onto the bed for skipping school. My kid sis went to school later that day and told the teachers my mom was chocking her. Luckily my mom didn't get handcuff or anything, she just needed some anger managment session with a child protective service agent. My mom isn't like that very often. She is soft most of the time and generally let my sister do whatever she wants, which usally involve watching YouTube on her phone all day and nothing else. However if she slacks on her academic, my mom can instantly turn into a demon. 

[Guest]

14 minutes ago, wasab said:

Your friend was fortunate. I know a person who dropped out of school at age 16 and had been living on his in ever since. 

 

On another note, op reminds me very much of my own little sister. We have 10 years age difference between us as well. My mom sometimes also do werid things when she gets physical, like one time grabbing my sis by the neck and threw her onto the bed for skipping school. My kid sis went to school later that day and told the teachers my mom was chocking her. Luckily my mom didn't get handcuff or anything, she just needed some anger managment session with a child protective service agent. My mom isn't like that very often. She is soft most of the time and generally let my sister do whatever she wants, which usally involve watching YouTube on her phone all day and nothing else. However if she slacks on her academic, my mom can instantly turn into a demon. 

That's kinda weird of your mom, that behaviour is inconsistent and kids value consistency. 

[RollTime]

OP:

 

Not much I can say that hasn't already been said. 

 

In terms of getting some help, I'd talk to your school administrators and they can put you in touch with CPS.

Speaking of CPS-

Yes, it is safe. While some foster parents/orphanage owners are sick fuckos, there are many, many, people in there to genuinely help. I've known people who were in CPS at the time I knew them, and I won't lie- it's hard. But it's better than the alternative. 

 

As a fellow minor (I've had some experience with depression but never anything like this), know that what you are experiencing is 100% real and not at all your fault. Don't blame yourself, it won't help anything. This forum and its community supports you with all our hearts, don't listen to any dipshits that say otherwise. And if there's anything you need that I could provide (I'm in Texas) please do not hesitate to let me know. 

 

Stay strong and know that you are loved.

[Anjelllo]

@Ashiella damn, that situation sucks, I have a friend going through something similar. I think you should definately pursue cps/foster care because being homeless is not fun(and neither is never having a good role model or a high school diploma for that matter). Foster families are usually super nice and are used to trouble kids but you seem pretty passive so you’d get along fine.  I really don’t reccomend getting a full time job since you won’t have time for high school if you end up in a foster family (remember, education>employment!). If you end up actually homeless then just call 911 and they’ll help you

[airdeano]

although reaching out to the community searching for answers might forward some comfort, but due to differing views, this will easily become an attack situation.

to prevent further issues and complications, this thread is locked.

<-LOCKED->