Best Political Jokes

[ShadowDeity]

Drop the straw man argument: There's people that struggle on any country, rich or poor. We're talking overall standards of living here: how many people have access to housing, health care, education and literacy, freedom of speech and expression, etc. Now the fact that western countries hit economical speed bumps are nothing compared to other countries that are in an economical black fucking hole. If a country overall has to reduce the standard of health care from "Best in the world" to "Ok most people still won't die but there will be some issues" it's still an order of magnitude above countries on a "Yeah, we're still dying of dysentery....a lot" and "Yeah forget socialized health care, we need fucking water because otherwise most of us will die waiting for water or battling heavily armed war lords to obtain some" 

 

I find it funny that you accuse me of strawmanning when you're the one using the "muh poor countries" argument. The fact is that Europe's struggling economically and culturally while slowly falling into a pit from which it will not be able to dig itself out. This is largely due to failed Socialist policies combined with the migrant crisis.

 

...I knew I'd start a flamewar with this thread.

[PowerPigeon]

Hoping no one posted this already, a friend told me it today...

 

A man dies and goes to heaven. There, he meets God in a huge room full of clocks.

"What is this place?" the man asks.

God answers "Each person has a clock in this room, and the hands only move when they lie. As you can see, some never move, like George Washington's."

The man thinks for a moment, than asks "What about Stephen Harper's clock?"

God responds "Oh him? I use his clock for my ceiling fan."

[Kobathor]

-snip-

Literally every Bernie Sanders supporter ever.

 

That's my joke, too.

[Guest trucker2]

We have all of those things and they all seem to be going ok...

 

Coming from the Mighty British Empire on which the sun never sets that's hysterical:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsLhNxzwK1Y

 

Obumer: I have been to 57 states, If you like your plan you can keep your plan.

From the swearing in ceremony, just before he put his hand on the Koran:)

[Albatross]

• "Presidents Day, of course, started out as celebration of Washington's birthday. Then someone remembered it was Lincoln's birthday on the 12th. So now we celebrate Washington, Lincoln and all the other Presidents. I have no idea how this led to mattress sales. It's probably something do with Bill Clinton." – Craig Ferguson
• Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
• What did Osama Bin Laden's ghost say to Mitt Romney? "Don't be sad, Obama's foreign policy killed me too."

• It was so cold today, a Democrat had his hands in his own pockets!

   

Hillary Clinton

 

:lol:

 

Some of the Hilary Clinton jokes in The Last Man Standing is great too. 

 

 

 

I've never seen those! :lol: God Sanders and Clinton are idiots.

 

[JT8101997]

 

• Weapons of mass destruction. 
• Net Neutrality is bad for America
• God told me so
• Jesus say to..
• Jesus would...
• Sarah Palin
• Creationism in schools

 

The second this happens is exactly when i start homeschooling my nonexistent kids of the future. And probably move to Canadia.

[Guest]

The second this happens is exactly when i start homeschooling my nonexistent kids of the future. And probably move to Canadia.

Well in Texas Moses is a founding father. 

[Derpologist]

Scott Walker wants to build a wall against canada from the US. Donald Trump wants to build a wall against mexico. I see what they're doing! Trying to keep us closed in America! Because when Donald Trump becomes president half the US will wanna leave

[JT8101997]

Scott Walker wants to build a wall against canada from the US. Donald Trump wants to build a wall against mexico. I see what they're doing! Trying to keep us closed in America! Because when Donald Trump becomes president half the US will wanna leave

Hopefully if. As in no. But in reality, that probably is what's going to happen. Heh, maybe we can kick him out

[WereCat]

Mr. *Insert name of politician here* where are you taking all these money from?

From the table.

And who puts it in there?

My wife.

And where does she take it from?

From me.

So, where do you have them from?

I already told you! From the table!

[ShadowDeity]

Hoping no one posted this already, a friend told me it today...

 

A man dies and goes to heaven. There, he meets God in a huge room full of clocks.

"What is this place?" the man asks.

God answers "Each person has a clock in this room, and the hands only move when they lie. As you can see, some never move, like George Washington's."

The man thinks for a moment, than asks "What about Stephen Harper's clock?"

God responds "Oh him? I use his clock for my ceiling fan."

 

Hahaha.  You win!